Lost Daughters (8 page)

M
AUREEN WAS NOT COMFORTABLE SLEEPING WITH MEL IN HER
apartment when Loretta was home. After the first time in the motel, she had made love with him in his cramped place, which was not very romantic. Mel had all kinds of miscellaneous photography materials cluttering up his tiny apartment. His bedroom was the worst of all. Magazines and circulars that included some of his work were all over the floor, the top of his dresser, and on half of his bed.

Making love on Mel's hard, lumpy couch was like making love on a bed of rocks. And like so many single men, his housekeeping skills were not up to Maureen's standards. Dirty dishes, empty food containers, and other debris dominated his kitchen. Dust, crumbs, and even a chicken bone or two were always on his living room coffee table.

So most of the time when Mel wanted to be intimate with Maureen, it was in her apartment at her request. She only made love with him after she made sure Loretta was asleep. She still only allowed him to spend the whole night when Loretta was sleeping over with her uncle Virgil and aunt Corrine or with one of her friends.

Since Mel had entered Maureen's life, she had stopped seeing other men—except a bald-headed dude named Billy Jim Martin. She finally told him that she didn't want to see him anymore.

“Why don't you want to see me no more?” Billy Jim asked nastily while they sat munching on some barbecue at one of Maureen's favorite rib joints. Since Maureen had had nothing better to do that Friday night when Billy Jim had dropped by her apartment, she had jumped into his Jetta like a carjacker. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothin', Billy Jim.” Maureen paused and held her breath. She didn't like to hurt anybody's feelings, but there were times when that couldn't be avoided. “Uh, I'm seein' another man, and I think it's goin' to get real serious between me and him. He's even talkin' about marriage.”

“Is it that picture-takin' sucker I seen you with at the club last week?” Billy Jim asked, a scowl forming on his face. “Melvin Ross?”

Maureen nodded. “Yes, Mel is the man who wants to marry me,” she said, her voice cracking. “He's asked me several times already, but I keep puttin' him off.”

“Harrumph!” Billy Jim boomed, giving Maureen a disgusted and disappointed look. “If he keeps askin' and you keep puttin' him off, he needs to move on. If he's a real man, that's just what he's goin' to do eventually,” Billy Jim laughed. “You know how we do.”

“Thanks a lot for tellin' me that. That's somethin' I didn't know!” Maureen snapped.

“Aw, Mo, don't be gettin' all hot and bothered with me. We've been friends for a long time, but let me give you some advice—don't overplay your hand. If you don't make up your mind with Mel Ross and stop draggin' him along, you goin' to end up by yourself. Black women can't afford to be too picky no more. Not with all the white girls, Latinas, and Asian cuties y'all got to compete with for us brothers now. Now let me tell you one more thing you probably don't know—one woman's trash is another woman's treasure. I bet the next woman Mel asks to marry him will take him and run. Girl, you better shit or get off the toilet. Marry Mel while you can.” Billy Jim gave Maureen a stern look. Then he looked at his watch and started tapping his fingers on the table.

“I just might do that. My brother and everybody else feels the same way you do. Even my daughter.”

“Your girl. Holy moly! That's another thing I need to run by you,” Billy Jim volunteered, sounding even more disappointed now. The puzzled look on Maureen's face prompted him to be more specific. “Most men don't want to raise another man's child. Especially a teenage girl.”

“My daughter gets along real good with Mel,” Maureen insisted. “He's managin' her modelin' career and doin' a real good job. Because of him and his contacts, she's gettin' so much work she can't handle it all. If Mel didn't like teenage girls, he wouldn't be workin' so hard for Lo'retta.”

“That don't mean nothin'. Kids is crazy as hell these days. Most stepdaddies and stepchildren don't mix too good. They never did and probably never will. Workin' with 'em and raisin' 'em is two different things. Especially gals! Your girl bein' so cute and doin' all that modelin' and whatnot, she probably thinks her booty don't stink. She will draw boys to your apartment like flies to pig shit—if she ain't already doin' that. It's goin' to take a hell of a man to get along with her and keep her in check. I picked up on that the first time I came to visit your place. Loretta gave me some serious attitude.”

Maureen was anxious for this date to end. Even if she stopped seeing Mel, she would never date Billy Jim again. He had struck Maureen's last nerve when he brought up Loretta's name. “Like I said, my daughter and Mel get along just fine. I think it'll be good for her to have him livin' with us full-time. She's goin' through that moody stage now. With all of these horny boys around here, it might be good to have Mel in the picture to help me keep them in line.”

“Okay, you got a point there,” Billy Jim said with a nod and a mysterious look on his face. “Who's goin' to keep Mel in line? I went to high school with him, and I can tell you one thing—his eyes like to roam,” he sniped.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothin' . . .” Billy Jim glanced at his watch again and signaled for the waiter to bring the check.

Maureen could see that Billy Jim was anxious to leave now. This was the first time he had not encouraged her to order another drink and some dessert. It was also the shortest date she had ever been on with him in their two-year relationship. She was just as anxious as he was to call it a night, and she let him know that by looking at her watch too. As usual, the waiter took his time bringing the check. To keep from feeling even more awkward and uncomfortable, Maureen kept the conversation going.

“If you are hintin' that Mel might cheat on me, don't waste your time. If and when he cheats on me, I know how to deal with him. That's one of the best things I learned from Mama Ruby.”

“Mo'reen, when it comes to men, if a woman don't take no mess, won't be no mess,”
Mama Ruby had advised her. Maureen was eleven when Mama Ruby told her that. That same day, Mama Ruby had chased one of her unfaithful suitors from her house after she had almost flattened the back of his head with a cast-iron skillet.

“How come you got that big grin on your face, Mo'reen?” Billy Jim asked, grimacing so hard it looked like somebody had squirted vinegar in his eyes. “Did I say somethin' funny?”

“Oh. Nothin' like that. I was just thinkin' about somethin' my mama told me when I was a little girl.”

They finished their meal and left the restaurant a few minutes later and got into Billy Jim's car. Except for a few comments about the weather and other mundane subjects, they rode in silence.

When Billy Jim parked in front of Maureen's apartment, he shook her hand, told her to have a nice life, and then he sped off.

Maureen was in the kitchen pouring a glass of wine when Loretta sauntered in with her bathrobe on inside out. There was sweat on her face, and she looked like she had just run five miles.

“Why did you come back home so soon, Mama?” Loretta asked, blinking rapidly and nervously glancing toward the door.

“Billy Jim didn't want to continue the date after I told him that Mel wanted to marry me,” Maureen replied, heading toward the living room with Loretta close behind. “Did you do your homework and put away the laundry like I told you before I left?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Did Mel call or stop by?”

“Uh, yeah. He called. He said to tell you that he would call again later. ”

“What's wrong with your face, girl?” Maureen narrowed her eyes and gave Loretta a critical look. “How come you breathin' so hard, Lo'retta?”

“What do you mean?” Loretta asked. She rubbed the side of her cheek and held her breath as long as she could.

“You look as red as a strawberry.” Maureen laughed as she plopped down onto the couch, kicking off her shoes.

“I was on the phone with Mona and she was tellin' me somethin' so funny I laughed for five minutes. It made the blood rise in my face. . . .”

Maureen shrugged. “That's the downside to bein' high yellow. I'm glad I never had to worry about that.” She sipped from her wineglass and then gave Loretta another critical look. “Is that why you breathin' so hard and funny?”

“Oh! Well, just before Mona called, I jogged a few laps around the block faster and longer than I usually do. With all the fattenin' food you like to cook, I have to do somethin' to keep my weight down.”

“Well, you better slow down. You don't need to lose any weight. Listen, baby. I guess I'm goin' to go ahead and marry Mel. He's gettin' real pushy about it. If I don't keep him happy, he could take it out on you and stop helpin' you get work and all.” Maureen gave Loretta a pensive look. “You work so hard, and I want to see you make it to the top.” Maureen took another sip of her wine. “I know that with your good looks and ambition, you could probably do all right without Mel's help, but I don't want to take that chance. I don't want us to lose Mel.”

Loretta sat down in the seat facing Maureen, looking relieved. “I am so glad to hear you say that, Mama! It's about time. I'm glad Mel hasn't given up! He's a good man, and I don't want us to lose him either.”

“After he moves in, I hope you'll continue to behave yourself,” Maureen said, giving Loretta a stern look. “Mel's takin' on a lot of responsibilities by marryin' me and havin' to be a daddy to you.”

“I know, Mama. And you don't have to worry. I'll be real good. Mel won't regret marryin' you. . . .”

Loretta was glad that her hair was long enough to cover the sucker bites that Mel had left on the side of her neck an hour ago. This was one night that she wanted to forget as soon as possible. Minutes after Maureen had left to go on her date, Loretta had called Mel and told him that if he came over to “keep her company,” she would make him very happy.

After they had drunk a couple of beers, they had gotten busy in Loretta's bedroom and lost track of the time. If Maureen had not coughed when she entered the apartment, they would not have known she had returned until it was too late.

Mel had grabbed his clothes and shoes and crawled out of Loretta's bedroom window and slid to the ground like a seasoned thief. He was hiding behind the Dumpster in the backyard, waiting for Loretta to let him know when the coast was clear.

Ten minutes later, Maureen finally got up off the couch and went into the bathroom. One minute later, Loretta sprinted to the back door. Mel had put on his clothes and was sitting on the ground wiping sweat off his face. He had parked two blocks away, but he had to pass by the front of Maureen's building to get to his vehicle. Since the owner of Maureen's apartment building had recently installed a tall gate around the backyard, the exit door to it led to the front of the building. If she happened to look out the bathroom window, she would probably see him. Mel had no choice but to leave the same way he had come—through the front door of Maureen's apartment.

“Mel, Mama's in the bathroom! You better make a run for it now!” Loretta told him, speaking in a low voice. “Come on, honey!”

“Shit!” Mel cursed, stumbling up the porch steps. “I thought you said she wouldn't be back home until around ten!” he snarled. He walked behind Loretta as they crept in through the back door and down the hall toward the living room.

“That's what she told me. Then that fool she went out with got crazy jealous when she told him about you, so he brought her home early.” Loretta glanced down the hallway. They had almost made it to the front door.

“This was a little too close for comfort, you know,” Mel whispered as he eased open the front door. “I don't like playing Russian roulette with my dick.”

“Don't worry. You'll be movin' in with us soon.”

Mel gave Loretta a curious look. “What?” he asked, turning his head so that he was looking at her from the corner of his eye.

“She told me a little while ago that she's goin' to marry you.” Loretta poked Mel's crotch. “It was a long time comin', but it was worth it.”

Mel was just about to speak again when they heard the toilet flush. He gasped and stumbled over the threshold onto the porch. He tiptoed down the steps and ran the two blocks to where he had parked.

Loretta went back into the living room where Maureen had already returned to the couch and poured another glass of wine.

T
HE NEWS THAT MAUREEN HAD DECIDED TO MARRY MEL MADE LORETTA'S
day, but there was a worried look on Maureen's face that Loretta couldn't ignore.

“You don't look that happy, Mama.” Loretta joined Maureen on the couch. “If I was you, I'd be turning somersaults all over this room if I was about to marry a man like Mel. You look more like you about to bury him instead of marry him.”

“I am happy. It's just that I was thinkin' about Mama Ruby. I know she had some strange notions, but do you think she would have accepted Mel?” Maureen said in a sad voice.

“Shoot no! Even though Mel is the kind of man that no woman could deny.”

Both of Maureen's eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean by that?”

“Huh? Oh! I mean, no
normal
woman can deny how wonderful he is. He's cute, he makes good money, and he's funny and generous. What more could a woman ask for? Everybody knew that Mama Ruby was no normal woman, so she could have never appreciated a man with all that Mel got goin' for him.”

Maureen shrugged. “Yeah, that's right, I guess.” She gave Loretta an affectionate pat on her arm. “Don't worry, baby. Someday you'll marry a man with all that goin' for him.”

“I know I will,” Loretta said with a sniff.

Loretta didn't feel the least bit guilty about betraying her mother. If anything, she felt that Maureen was betraying her and Mel! The most potent part of Loretta's logic, and the most ridiculous, was the fact that Maureen didn't love Mel—and she made no secret of it. There had to be hundreds or thousands of women in America who would have fallen in love with Mel the moment they laid eyes on him like Loretta had. But this was almost like a catch-22 situation. Loretta didn't want Maureen to have Mel on a permanent basis because she wanted to marry him someday. For now, she wanted access to him seven days a week, and the only way she could do that was for Maureen to marry him so he could move in. In a way, that would make it seem like she was already his wife, Loretta decided. She knew that once Mel moved in, they would be in each other's arms every time Maureen turned her back. It was an underhanded way to land a husband, but Loretta had a feeling that whoever said “all's fair in love and war” had probably been in a similar situation.

“I can't wait to see what it's like to actually live with a man,” Maureen said, sounding almost like a giddy teenager herself.

“It'll be nice to have a man around to take care of us.” Loretta giggled with a glazed look on her face.

Maureen gave her a surprised look. “We don't need a man to take care of us. I can take care of myself and you. I've been doin' it for years,” she said in a stiff voice.

“Mama, I know that, but you know what I mean. Me and you never lived with a man before. It'll be nice to have him on the premises at all times in case we need a leaky faucet or somethin' else fixed.”

Maureen didn't bother to remind Loretta that whenever they needed something fixed, she had always taken care of that herself too. “Yeah, it'll be nice to have a man around in case we need somethin' fixed.” Maureen sucked in some air and gave Loretta a look that made her tense up. “Sugar, I need to ask you somethin' and I need for you to be honest with me. Do you love Mel?”

Loretta gasped so hard she almost swallowed her tongue. “What?”

“What I mean is, do you think you will ever love Mel the way you probably would have loved your real daddy if he hadn't died?”

“Oh.” Loretta was so relieved she almost peed on herself. “I think I could . . . uh . . . love Mel.”

“I was hopin' you'd say somethin' like that. The thing is, I'm doin' this more for you than for myself. You started pesterin' me for a daddy as soon as you learned how to talk. Catty, Fast Black, and even your uncle Virgil seem to think that it would be a good thing for me to marry somebody.”

“You won't be just marryin'
somebody
, Mama. You will be marryin'
Mel.
A woman like you couldn't do no better unless you had a fairy godmother helpin' you.” Loretta laughed.

Maureen nodded and laughed, too, even though she didn't like Loretta's last remark. “I hope you'll still feel that way about Mel once he moves in with us and gets settled. Him livin' with us will be a whole lot different from him just visitin'. He can't tell me or you what to do now, but once he becomes the man of the house, he might set up a few rules.”

“I don't have no problem followin' rules,” Loretta scoffed. “Ever since I was in first grade, I've been gettin' nothin' but straight As in citizenship.”

“Followin' rules in school is different. A stepdaddy might have different expectations that you probably won't like.”

“Mama, me and Mel have been workin' together for a long time now. Everything he tells me to do is for my own benefit. He works real hard to get modelin' jobs for me. He and I have been gettin' along just fine so far, so I think I can handle him livin' with us.”

“Workin' with him is one thing. Livin' with him is a different story. I know you are growin' up, and pretty soon you are goin' to get more involved with boys. Right?” Maureen dipped her head and stared at Loretta with a knowing look on her face.

Loretta blinked. “Uh-huh.”

“With a strong male presence in here, those little funky-tail boys you know will think twice about makin' a fool out of you, I hope.”

Loretta blinked some more.

“I hope that you will mind Mel and continue to treat him as good as you have been doin' ever since we met him. I want you and him to be even closer than you already are. Most of the men in my life over the years didn't want to get too serious with me because they didn't want a ready-made family, but that's exactly what Mel wants. He wants to be a daddy.” Maureen laughed. “I'm sure he won't mind you callin' him that. It's got a nice ring to it, huh?”

“Uh-huh.” Loretta looked away and took a deep breath.

“I'm goin' to call him up and ask him to come over here so I can tell him to his face that I'll marry him,” Maureen said with a sigh and rose from the couch. She finished her wine. Then she reached for the telephone on the end table and dialed Mel's number. He answered right away. “I need to talk to you about somethin',” she told him.

“Oh? Wh-what about?”

Maureen laughed. “I would rather say it to you in person.”

Well, if she's laughing, it can't be anything for me to be too concerned about,
Mel thought. “It's kind of late. Is it somethin' that can wait until tomorrow?”

“I guess it can wait. I've already discussed it with Lo'retta,” Maureen said.

“Oh?” Maureen's response made Mel's chest tighten. It made Loretta's chest tighten too. “Maybe I should come over there right away, huh?” he said.

Loretta held her breath.

“Mel, it can wait until tomorrow,” Maureen said, laughing some more. Loretta was happy that Maureen was in such a jovial mood. “I'll call you tomorrow and you can decide when you can come over.”

“No, it can't wait,” Mel said quickly. “I want to know what's going on. I'll come over there as soon as I can.”

Maureen took a deep breath and exhaled so slowly tears pooled in her eyes. “All right. I won't keep you in suspense. I didn't want to say it over the phone, but I'll marry you if you still want me to,” she said in a shy voice.

“Oh, baby, that's wonderful!” Mel hollered. “I'm so glad to hear that!” He wiped bullets of sweat off his face and rubbed his chest. He was so relieved he felt light-headed. His dirty little secret was still intact.

Loretta was even more ecstatic than Mel. The last thing she wanted was for her mother to find out that she had had a man in her bed tonight.

Maureen found out anyway. A few minutes before Mel arrived, she decided to take out the trash. On her way to the Dumpster in the backyard, she stumbled and fell against the porch banister, dropping the large garbage bag. Along with empty milk cartons, dried bones, and other debris, a used condom rolled out and landed at her feet.