Lost in Flight (28 page)

She folded her arms and turned to stare at him, making his heart lurch.  The anger was gone and what was left was a vulnerability that made him want to hold her.  Instead, all they did was hurt each other and he didn’t know how to change it, but he wanted to. 

He said quietly, “Is there a chance you’re pregnant?” 

Christina shook her head and sighed.  “Remote - like non-existent and in a would make-television-as-a-miracle-type of chance.  So don’t worry.  You’re off the hook.  We’re free to carry on hating each other unencumbered.”

Riley heard her voice crack a bit on the last part and he hated himself.  “I don’t hate you,” he said, to his own surprise.  It would be easier if he did.  Then the lines would be clear, rather than this longing for something that didn’t exist anymore.

“Okay,” she said dubiously, but he interrupted her. 

He rubbed his hands over his face and hair.  “I don’t, Christina.  I’m angry with you,
still
angry with you, but I don’t hate you.  I wish I could get passed this.  I really do, but I don’t know how.  I’m trying though.  Okay?”

Christina walked down to the bottom step and sat on it.  “I’m sorry.  If I could go back in time and change things, the way I did things, I would.  All I can say is I’m sorry.”

They went silent until it became uncomfortable, each wondering who would speak first.  Christina audibly sighed.  “I wasn’t on the pill, Riley, so I had to do… stuff after we… you know.  I took the morning after pill and have been waiting for my period.  But I’ve got it and it’s normal.  I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant.” 

His response was a lame, “Oh” and he looked away.  Strangely, he had been almost enjoying the conversation until now.  It was the closest they’d come to civil without alcohol and sex in years.

********************

Christina

Christina’s mouth quirked at his response.  He’d never been that good at dealing with women’s issues, but he’d asked and she was only too happy to oblige.  She decided to have a little fun with how uncomfortable he was.  Looking up at him and holding eye contact, she said with a malicious grin.  “They want to know if I experience anything out of the ordinary when I’m menstruating, or something bad happens – you know -
down there
.” 

********************

Riley

Okay.  Enough already
, Riley thought.  He was wrong.  This conversation could stop.  Pulling an “ugh” face and shaking his head, he put his hands up waving her away.  He muttered.  “I’m sorry.” 

And he was.  He was sorry they hadn’t been more careful and she’d had to go through this, but mostly, he was sorry they’d had a way too much information discussion about her menstrual cycle, and, ugh:  potential problems
down there
.

It wasn’t like he was completely insensitive regarding women’s problems.  He ran off and got chocolate, was careful to not say the wrong thing, and kept out of the way like every other heterosexual man he knew.  He just really didn’t want to know the intricacies of it.  Surface information only on this subject was fine by him, but please – for the love of god – no more!

********************

Christina

Christina was trying not to smirk.  Well that would certainly teach him to stick his nose into things that didn’t concern him and come up with the wrong end of everything.  The look on his face was priceless.  He actually looked like he’d been stung by bees and he was waving his hands between them to create physical distance. 

What did he think?  Menstruation was contagious?  The absurdity of the situation got the better of her and Christina burst out laughing.  

********************

Riley

Trying to be cool and cover how uncomfortable he was, Riley nodded saying, “So long as you’re okay, Dina.”  They made eye contact and shared a grin.  In the history of weird conversations between them, this one was right up there.  Still, he was pleased that if she had been going to have their imaginary baby she would have kept it. 

He’d always imagined she’d get rid of a child with the type of ruthless efficiency she’d ended their relationship.  For a moment, he let himself imagine what she’d look like pregnant with his child.  He found the image erotic and for the first time, he was glad Christina had made him put jeans on. 

Riley coughed and dropped eye contact, and focused on her arm.  He looked at the bandage and frowned, saying quietly.  “What did you mean by stuff and things?” 

He watched her wring her hands, wave them about a bit and start “umming,” and “aghing.”  She kept repeating “stuff” and “things,” waving her arms around, and pursing her lips.

Riley still wasn’t getting it, but a not very nice picture was forming and she only ever did the hands thing when she was really embarrassed.  Oh, he got it now.  “Do you think I have diseases, Christina?  Like I’m some kind of diseased person?” 

Christina gave him the satisfaction of going all shades of red and snapped. “This is why you shouldn’t listen in on people’s conversations!  It is none of your business.” 

Ignoring her, Riley demanded.  “Well?  Do you?” 

********************

Christina

Christina groaned.  Of course, she thought he might potentially have diseases, but there was no real nice way of saying that.  Instead she said, “Well – maybe.  I’ve had to do stuff and things you know – for me.” 

Riley looked exasperated and scowled.  “If you say stuff and things one more time, I swear, Christina…” He stared her straight in the eye, but she looked away and down at the ground. 
This was mortifying
. 

Christina looked down and then back-up at him.  Waving her arms a bit she said, “Stuff – you know – and things – I mean.  I got tested, just as a precaution, because it’s the right thing to do and,” her eyes narrowed, “I hear you’re in a relationship with
Steph
…”

Riley cut across her.  “Don’t say it, Christina.  Don’t go there and stop trying to take attention away from the fact you do think I’m a diseased person, enough to get tested anyway.” 

He pulled himself up to his full height and looked down at her saying huffily.  “I’m clean, Christina.  I can get you the paperwork if you want it.” 

It was good to know – after the fact – and just her luck.  She’d been jabbed with needles and put herself through a serious amount of anxiety for nothing, except her peace of mind.  It was also irrelevant.  She wouldn’t be having sex with him again and she would make sure she never had unprotected sex with anyone (never plus infinity). 

********************

Riley

Looking at her, Riley felt conflicted with anger and affection.  She always roused these sorts of emotions in him and he was prepared to forgive her for thinking he was a walking contagion.  As she turned to walk away, he said, “Christina, I’m sorry.  I am.  I’m sorry for sleeping with you when you were drunk.  I’m sorry we weren’t more careful about protection.  I’m sorry for the fight and  all of it, but I’m not apologizing for the sex because I don’t regret that.” 

When she went to interrupt him, he put his hand up, “And if a baby came out of that… all I’m saying is I’d want it.” 

They held eye contact and Christina surprised both of them when she said, “So would I.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I have work to do” and walked back up the stairs to her bedroom. 

********************

Riley felt his mouth quirk up into a smile.  At least that was settled.  He went to his bedroom to shower and change.  He packed his bag and got his things together so he could get the hell out of there.

As he exited his bedroom, she was sitting working on her computer, focused on the screen.  When he said, “I’m going to stay at a hotel, Christina,” she didn’t respond.  He knew she didn’t know it was his house, but he thought she could have made some kind of “thank you” gesture about him leaving for her. 

Riley felt like he was always leaving for her.  He’d left their home, town, Seattle, New York, and now his own house:  because of
her
and she didn’t give a shit.  He turned around to say something about it and saw her engrossed in her work. 

Work, he groaned inwardly.  Work.  Shit.  He was “this” close to getting out of here semi-unscathed, but it had to be done.  He couldn’t let her drive at night and pick up this Andy guy by herself.  He could be a freak for all Riley knew, and more importantly, Christina shouldn’t be on the road period. 

There were innocent people, just driving along minding their own business, not realizing there was a hazard on the road.  And hazard’s name was Christina.  He didn’t want to do this, but he’d just add it to the list called “crap things he’d done because of Christina Martin.”

Riley put on his most charming smile saying neutrally, “Why don’t you let me buy you dinner tonight as a way of saying sorry?” 

She spun her head around and looked at him with her eyes open wide, and her mouth turned down.  
I don’t want to do this either, sweetheart
, he thought,
but it’s a civic duty
.  He tried not to be offended at her demeanor, but he was. 

She went to interrupt him, but he hurried on.  “I know it doesn’t make up for it, or even come close, but - you know – let me try.”  He then gave her an innocent wide-eyed open stare trying to get her to agree.

********************

Christina

Christina was suspicious and her eyebrows drew forward.  What was he up to?  She didn’t trust him.  It was unlike him to be so forgiving and usually about now, he’d be storming out the door while they traded insults at one another.  She didn’t want to spend another night in his company or even five more minutes.  Trying to navigate a conversation with Riley was similar to dancing blindfolded through mine-laden terrain. 

Scratching around for a way to politely decline she said, “Oh sorry, I can’t.  I have a work colleague coming in tonight, so maybe some other time.” 

To her annoyance, Riley fired back.  “We can go early and I’ll pick him up with you.  I’m going to stay at the same hotel as your friend, so it’ll be easy.”  She tried to keep the horror off her face, but failed dismally.

********************

Riley

Riley watched Christina purse her lips and scowl.  He knew he could talk her into this, but he was going to have to lay a guilt trip on her.  He didn’t want her driving - hell, no one that knew her or had experienced a ride with her wanted her driving.  She was in denial about how much of a menace she was, but he knew if he played this wrong she’d do it just to spite him. 

Smiling, he said nonchalantly, “So… we can take my car…”

********************

Christina

And there it was
, Christina thought.  All wrapped up in a pretty box.  It was about her driving and nothing else.  He’d never let her drive his truck or even her own parents’ car when she’d borrowed it.  Seriously, the way people reacted to Christina’s driving annoyed her. 

She didn’t think she was
that
bad and there were far worse drivers on the road.  She remembered saying this once to Johnny and he’d said, “Where?”  But that was irrelevant.  They all made out like she was disabled at driving and it was offensive.

********************

Riley

Riley knew she was suspicious, so he decided he better pull out the big guns.  He slumped his shoulders, pulled his eyebrows together and pretended to look hurt.  Putting on a sad face he said, “It might be nice.  I mean – I thought we might be having a baby today, you told me about your period and you thought I had diseases.” 

Shrugging for emphasis, Riley said sadly, “I just thought it would be a nice way of showing there were no hard feelings.”  He almost laughed out loud when he saw Christina react.  Her eyes went big and she pressed her lips together.   
Game over
.

He looked at the ground to make sure she couldn’t make eye contact, struggling to keep the smile that was threatening to break over his face hidden.  It would have ruined it all and she was still close to the pots and pans.  He knew he’d won this round and he knew from experience, he had to take his victories, no matter how small, with her when he got them.

********************

Christina

This was a bad idea and Christina knew it, and she didn’t trust him, but here he was trying to make peace with her.  He looked so dejected and sad:
the total fake pig
.  If she rejected him outright, she’d feel like a total bitch.  If he told anyone, it’d just reinforce she was the mean one, and Riley was the innocent, injured party.  

She supposed she could go and have dinner with him, but she really didn’t want to.  Deliberating, she decided to accept his strange offer, but on her terms.  Looking at Riley she said, “Dinner?  Ooooh-kay.  But… I don’t want to go anywhere that I need to dress up.  Can we go somewhere I can wear jeans?” 

********************

Riley

Keeping his face straight Riley said, “Sure.  What time do you have to pick up your friend?”  When she said 8:00 p.m., he nodded.  “Okay.  Cool.  I’ll pick you up about 6:00.”  Then he waved goodbye and left.

He waited at the top of the steps outside and was about to go back in when he heard her turn the music up.  She started singing some pop song about “dirty dancing in the moonlight” and he smiled.  He could forgive her just about anything when she sang like that.  She was the most dangerous woman he’d ever met and he’d just agreed to go out with her.  He was an idiot.