Lost in Flight (54 page)

LiLi grinned at him.  “They have late night, they sleeping.”

Gabby rolled her eyes.  “Late night?  Dina woke the household up screaming about a stupid cat.  I didn’t realize she was such a baby.”  Hitting Andy on the arm, Gabby smirked.  “Guess that’s what D.C. does to you?” 

“Hey,” Andy fired back laughing, “D.C. people are tough.  We have to negotiate shark-infested waters, full of politicians.” 

Riley started making his way up the stairs and Gabby called out, “She’s in Johnny’s old room.” 

He grinned and waved a thank you.  Opening the door, the room was dark and a mess.  There was stuff all over the place and it looked like people had been fighting.  She was sleeping on her back with her arms over her head, so he went and kissed her on the lips.

She stirred, so he lay over top of her with his weight on his arms until she woke up properly.  He kissed her longer and her eyes flew open.  She made a “gahhh” sound into his mouth and tried to push him off.  When she realized it was Riley, Christina grabbed him and held him close.

“Hey sleepy-head,” Riley grinned, “it’s late for you.  You okay?” 

Christina pulled a face and shrugged.  “I had an interesting night, but I’m happier seeing you.”  She took his face in her hands and kissed him hard, running her hands under his shirt.  He shrugged his jacket off, threw his beanie on the floor, and kicked off his shoes. 

She sat up pulling his shirt off and undoing his jeans.  This was the type of wake-up call that he liked.  “Lock the door,” she whispered, “I need you.” 

Riley needed no further invitation, he ran for the door, slamming it shut and locking it.  Christina was rummaging through her belongings and pulled out the largest box of condoms he’d ever seen.  Christina grinned.  “Compliments of the hospital” and he laughed. 

They flew at each other and he caught her in his arms while she wrapped her legs around his waist.  “We’ll have to be quiet,” she whispered. 

“We’ll try,” he whispered back, “but I make no promises.”

********************

“That wasn’t quiet,” Christina whispered.  “Do you think anyone heard?”

“Dina, we’ve been holed up here for hours.  They’ll know what we’ve been doing.”

“I know,” Christina hissed, “but that’s different than hearing it.” 

Riley started laughing and Christina giggled.  He loved that sound and the way she looked right now.  She was all messed up from sex and she smelled awesome.  It made him want to grab her again. 

Riley had wanted to spend the whole day in bed yesterday at the hotel, but that hadn’t worked out, so he was taking his opportunities now.  If people overheard them, he didn’t care.  Their time had been interrupted enough:  Martin family-interruptus, he thought, ruefully.  He better get (re)used to it.

“What happened last night, Dina?  Gabby said you screamed the house down - about a cat.”  Riley was trying not to laugh because the thought of Christina or anyone being scared of a cat was ridiculous. 

She looked nervously from side to side.  “I’ll tell you, but no one else.  Promise you won’t say anything and you’re not to laugh.  Promise?” 

He pressed his lips together.  “Okay.  Promise.” 

“I-I-um was molested last night by Mrs. Gustafson’s cat,” she said. 

Riley broke his promise.  He looked at her to see if she was joking and she wasn’t.  She was staring at him in all sincerity with big horrified eyes.  He blinked twice and put his fist to his mouth to stop laughing, but failed.  “YOU WHAT?” Riley shouted and burst out laughing.

“Shut up,” she hissed.  “It’s true.  That-disgusting–thing and you promised not to laugh and don’t tell
anyone
.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that Dina, but it was completely unexpected.  I’ve never heard of rape-y cats before,” he guffawed. 

“Well, it’s true,” she spluttered, “that thing got on me last night and-and bit my boobs.” 

Riley stared at her and shook his head.  It wasn’t funny now.  “Oh, really?  No way.  I’m going to have words with that thing.”  Holding her boobs in his hands, Riley said, “These are mine.” 

“Are not,” laughed Christina, “they’re mine.”

“Uh-uh,” Riley grinned, “we’ll have to share.”

Riley woke up disoriented until he saw Christina lying beside him.  He checked the time and groaned.  It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon and they’d spent nearly the whole day in bed, with Christina’s family in residence.  He’d always been a damn the consequences person, but he was hungry and he was going to have to face the music.

He left Christina and got dressed as quietly as he could, then made his way to the upstairs bathroom.  On exit, he bumped into Johnny, who folded his arms and scowled.  “I don’t care which one of you it is, but
someone
is buying me a new bed.” 

“Okay, but we’ll have to buy Gabby a new one too then,” said Riley with a grin. 

Johnny’s face fell and he put his hands up.  “No more.  I don’t want to know anymore.”  Pointing to his old room, Johnny growled, “Sister, remember?”  Johnny left grumbling and headed for the shower. 

Christina was just waking up when Riley entered the room.  “You hungry babe,” he said.  “It’s 2 in the afternoon.” 

“What?” she said and sat up.  “Holy shit, where did the day go?” 

He grinned and raised an eyebrow.  “Come on, get up and we’ll go get something to eat.”

She paused and looked at him.  “Riley, you know I love you, right?” 

He froze and then nodded.  She hadn’t told him she’d loved him in so long it was a shock.  A good shock and even though he knew, hearing the words made it reality. 

Christina sighed.  “I wanted to tell you that, so you know before I say what I’m about to say.” 
Ugh
, Riley thought,
he didn’t like the sound of that
. 

She patted the bed and he lay down beside her, waiting for her to say what she was going to say.  “Riley, is your tattoo about me?  The one with the nightingale in the middle - the survivor’s club one?” 

He went still.  She’d either put it together or Johnny had told her, but it didn’t matter.  He was going to have to tell her the truth or walk away.  Riley deliberated on his course of action and then opted for the truth.  “Kind of, but mainly – yeah,” he said. 

“So, you think of me in the same way Johnny thinks about heroin?”  Christina asked. 

Riley looked at her.  “Dina, I’m happy to have this conversation, but not without coffee and something to eat.  Why don’t you go have a shower?  I’ll get us some coffee and food, and then we’ll do this.”  She stared back at him and nodded.

He went downstairs and walked into a room full of people who all pretty much knew that he’d spent the day in bed with Christina. 

“Good morning,” said Gabby with a smirk, “or should I say good afternoon?” 

Riley ignored her and then Jack said, “Riley, where did you come from?”  The room went silent, Tessa stared at Jack, and Gabby snickered.  Even Andy James had his head down smirking, staring intently at the computer.

It was a strange thing watching the realization dawn on Jack’s face.  Jack’s mouth fell open in a perfect O before he turned his face away.  Andy and LiLi gave Riley sympathetic looks, but Jack wouldn’t make eye contact with him.

Clearing his throat, Riley asked, “Can I get some coffee and food?  Dina’s a bit hungry.” 

“I bet she is,” giggled Gabby and Jack’s face turned dark like thunder.

Tessa got up and saved him.  “There’s a fresh pot on Riley.  Here let me help you.” 

She gave him two cups and piled some food on a tray.  Giving him a kind smile, Tessa squeezed his arm and he got the hell out of there back to Christina.  Christina was still in the shower, so he sat drinking his coffee and waiting for her.  He wasn’t welcoming this conversation, but they needed to get some things out in the open.

Christina came in and she was in her robe.  She drank her coffee and started eating without saying a word to him, waiting for him to answer her questions.  Riley took a deep breath.  “I got that tattoo about three months after we divorced.  I was… not in a good headspace.  It was more about my survival than anything to do with you.” 

“Johnny has the dragonfly and Jed has the tree of life.  We put things in that meant something to us.  Jed’s is about balance.  He lost everything when his life got out of balance.  Johnny?  Well you know.  Heroin is his weakness.  He put it on there to remind him what was important, so he would keep away.”

Riley briefly made eye contact with Christina and looked away.  Her eyes had gone huge and she looked vulnerable.  “I know this might hurt you, Dina, but you want the truth.  I put the nightingale in mine because I pretended you were dead.” 

He heard her indrawn breath and he closed his eyes.  “It’s how I got back on my feet.  You see if you were dead, then I had to move on.  It was better than the alternative:  you being somewhere and never coming back.” 

Christina started to sob, but he refused to look at her.  He wanted this out and off his chest.  It was his story and he couldn’t change it, even if he wanted to.  In hindsight, he didn’t want to.  This was as much a part of him now as she was.

“I put the nightingale in the middle to remind me of us and that you were gone.  I did some things I’m not proud of, Dina, after we split.  I slept with more women than I can remember to get over you.  I kept away from women with dark eyes though,” he laughed, “but it didn’t really mean anything.  I didn’t find the connection I wanted.”

He went quiet for a bit, staring straight ahead.  “Then, I met this woman called Bianca.  We went out together for nearly two years.  It was serious.  I was thinking about marrying her.  She wanted to marry me.  She wanted kids – with me and I really want kids.  She wanted the house, the picket fence – the whole nine yards and she was easy to be with.  We hardly ever fought and she was a good person.  For a long time, I thought I loved her.”

“Then Gabby happened,” Riley said, “and Johnny called you.” 

Riley shook his head.  “It really fucked with my head.  I went to Seattle with Johnny and waited with him at the hospital.  I left before you arrived, but I wanted to see you – just to see if – you know I could put the past behind me.”

“I waited downstairs and I saw you get out of the cab.  You looked so shattered; I wanted to hold you in my arms.  I knew then – even if we were over, I couldn’t marry Bianca.  She deserved better than a guy who couldn’t love her completely because he had unfinished business with someone else.” 

“So, I broke up with her,” Riley winced at the memory.  “She – was heartbroken and I couldn’t even give her a real reason why.  I wouldn’t even admit it to myself, but you own me Christina, heart, body, and soul.”

Riley rubbed his hands through his hair and stared at the wall.  “I never planned on anything with you, Dina.  I was just going to avoid you or I’d have probably got drunk and come over to start a fight with you.”  He laughed and so did Christina. 

“But then you beat me to it.  You busted in on me and then I followed you back here.  I just wanted to talk to you, but that, agh, didn’t happen.”  Riley made eye contact briefly with Christina and looked away.  “I hid your handbag so I had an excuse to come see you.  You know, it was a pretty weird night.  You passed out on me, Dina.”

‘What?” she gasped and he grinned.

“Then we fought and I went to Seattle to get some distance, but you ended up there too.”  He turned to stare at Christina.  Her eyes were red from crying and he smiled at her.  “It was hearing you sing and the planes, babe.  After all that time, it was like you were back.  You were you and I knew I was gone.” 

He held her hands.  “Look at me, Dina” and when she raised her eyes to his, he said, “I love you.  You are the love of my life.  You know that and always will be, but…”

“That’s never been our problem,” she whispered. 

He shook his head and smiled sadly.  “No, babe.  It’s never been our problem.” 

Wagging her finger between them, Christina asked, “So, what are we doing, Riley?  You and me – what is this?” 

He shrugged.  “I’ve talked enough.  You tell me.”

********************

Christina

Christina felt like someone had squeezed her heart and made her raw.  Listening to Riley tell his story made her feel sick and guilty.  His choice of tattoo was the least of her concerns now and she wanted to give him comfort that whatever he did to survive was okay by her.

“I did something similar, Riley.  About you and me,” she said.  He was staring intensely at her, so she looked down at her hands. 

“I pretended you didn’t exist as well.  If you didn’t exist and I could avoid you, then it didn’t hurt to think about you.  I regretted what I did almost the moment I did it.  I still can’t think about it without dying a little inside.  There were so many times I wanted to beg you to forgive me, so I could try to forgive myself, but I was too scared.”

She looked up at him and he had the half-smile on his face that she loved.  “After the divorce debacle – I couldn’t face you.  I thought we’d said every horrible thing we could ever say to one another and that was it.  You know – you’ve always been braver than me about your feelings.  The only person I ever really talked about my feelings to,” she tapped her finger on his chest, “was you.” 

“It’s not that I didn’t care or feel.  It was because it hurt too much and I’d have to own what I did.  And I was wrong.  You were right, Riley, about all of it and I was wrong,” she said and her voice broke. 

Christina smiled wanly at him.  “I don’t have the sort of emotional courage that you do.  You’ve always been so much braver and sure of what you want.  I’m not like that and I just didn’t think about it.  Worse – I blamed you.  If I stayed angry at you then I didn’t have to analyze my own actions.”

She sighed.  “When I found out you were here in Shanwick… I knew.  I always knew if we were ever in the same place, I couldn’t help myself.  I had to see you.  I wanted to be with you – even for a night.  And I had to get horribly drunk to get the guts to do it.”  He laughed and so did she.