Lost in You (14 page)

It might end up being a mistake. But I didn’t want to live my life wondering, what if I’d gone? I didn’t want to wonder anything at all. It would be good or it would be bad but it definitely wouldn’t be a question mark.

I took Dorian’s hand and let him help me up the steps to his plane.
His
plane. He’d correct me, I knew, if I said it aloud. He’d say, my
family’s
plane. But still. It was a plane that belonged to him and his.

‘Mr Martin,’ said the one attendant, her back turned to us. ‘Ms N–’

She turned to see me, finally, and a huge smile lit her face. ‘And Ms?’ she quickly recovered.

A dagger of jealousy pierced me and I quickly shook it off. Did I really think I was the first woman he’d brought on this plane? I mean, I had seen the newspapers showing him with a parade of different women over the years. I hoped my green-eyed moment hadn’t showed.

‘I’m Clover,’ I said, taking the hand she offered. ‘Clover Brite.’

‘Well, it is so nice to have you flying with us today. My name is Debra. Can I get you a drink?’

I looked at Dorian and he grinned. ‘Go ahead. Just about anything you can ask for, she’ll know how to make or be able to figure out.’

I smiled. ‘Maybe just a wine. I’m a bit of a skittish flyer.’

Sort of a cling-to-the-nearest-human-and-pray-until-we-land flyer. But I was determined to keep my cool and not act like a lunatic.

‘Red, white, rosé?’

The simplest of choices seemed to stump me at that moment. I simply looked at Dorian, who raised an eyebrow. Finally I shook myself out of it and said, ‘I love red but it might not be best for flying. How about middle of the road and go with rosé.’

She smiled, professionally but with a healthy dash of true friendliness. ‘Very good. Mr Martin?’

‘Just a beer.’ He held up a hand when her mouth opened. ‘Any beer. Use your judgement, Debra. Surprise me!’

She nodded. ‘Very well. I’ll be right back with your drinks. Your luggage is stowed at the back of the plane. If you need anything from your bags simply let me know.’

She bustled off with her quick, sure steps and I watched her go.

‘Something wrong?’

Yeah, she nearly called me by someone else’s name. Whose name?

Instead I said, ‘She’s just very professional, isn’t she? Every step had purpose. I wish I were that way.’

He gestured to a seat and I took it. It was a large leather seat facing a small table. He took the one opposite. I nearly laughed. It was the kind of private-plan set-up you’d see on TV, not in real life.

‘You are that way.’

I laughed. ‘Um, not so much. I’m more –’ I waved my hands around like a crazy person ‘– kinetic.’

He shook his head. His green eyes were shockingly bright in the sunlight that streamed in through the plane’s small porthole windows. ‘You’re not very good at self-observation, are you?’

I just waited. I had no earthly idea what he was talking about.

‘You’re very professional. You’re very mother bear about my little restoration project. That first day I met you –’ he ran his finger over a whorl in the shellacked wood ‘– you were on a mission. And you were sorta pissed.’ Another grin that went straight to the centre of me. ‘And hot as hell.’

I covered my face because a sudden warm blush had attacked my cheeks and I felt so exposed it stole my breath. Which was silly really, but I couldn’t control the sensation or the reaction. Thank God for Debra and her drinks.

‘Here we are,’ she said, giving me her cool professional smile. It wasn’t bitchy as some women’s pro smiles were. It was just sort of reserved. Detached.

My mind went back to the N name she’d nearly called me. Curiosity tickled inside me.

‘How are we looking on departure, Debra?’ Dorian asked. He looked suddenly excited and it made me wonder where he was taking me. So far he’d refused to say.

‘Good, I think. Pilot Newhart is doing one last check and making sure we’re clear and then –’ she shrugged, ‘– we should be clear!’

‘Excellent.’ Dorian took a healthy swig of his beer and winked at her. ‘Excellent choice. That’s the new one from Bent Toad Brewhouse, isn’t it?’

She beamed at him. Literally – beamed. ‘Yes, it is! And how’s your wine, Ms –’

‘Clover,’ I interjected. ‘Just Clover.’

She gave me a short nod and rephrased. ‘How’s your wine?’

I took my first sip as they both watched. Boy, no pressure there. And then smiled a genuine smile. ‘Really good. But don’t expect me to know what it is without a label.’

That earned me a genuine smile from her. ‘I wouldn’t know either,’ she said.

Ah, good, an easier vibe with the other woman on board. Now I could breathe. Debra expertly blended into the background so it once again felt as if it were only Dorian and I on board.

He leaned across the short table and took my hand. The feel of his fingers curled around mine triggered electric sparks along my skin. I barely repressed a schoolgirl sigh. I truly had to get myself together. He kissed my knuckles one at a time as he gazed at me. That just made the giddy feelings all the worse. When we took off, the emotional overload was liable to make me start sobbing. Or laughing. Whichever it was, it could be bad.

I focused on my breathing. And tried to block out the sudden arousal that had me wet and fidgety in my seat. There was no time for that here. No
place
for it, really.

He looked like he knew what I was thinking and he chuckled softly. ‘I’m glad you’re coming. I’m glad you’re letting us do this. Something outside the mall. Something without the feeling of duress.’ He kissed my wrist and I watched, mesmerised, as goose bumps rose on my skin. ‘I know the storm trapped us there, Clover,’ he said, his voice hoarse. Something in the tone made it hard for me to swallow. ‘But once we were there and I got to know you … I wanted to be there. I was a little sad to see the storm end.’

I blinked, but said nothing. I would
not
rush in like a silly schoolgirl and say, ‘Me too, me too!’ Even if it was how I felt.

‘Anyway, I just want a chance to woo you out in the real world. So thank you for giving me that.’

I nodded, dumbfounded and speechless. I probably looked like the world’s biggest moron but had no way to change it. I smiled and squeezed his hands and repressed the urge to crawl over the table, sit in his lap and kiss him.

‘And on that needy note,’ he said. ‘I’m going to go talk to the pilot for a moment. I’ll be right back. OK?’

Another mute nod from me as I watched him go. Well-worn jeans – actually worn, it seemed, not designed to appear well worn. A blue-and-white-striped button-down. Moccasins. I snorted. I usually hated moccasins on men. They normally were all Italian leather and cost a small fortune. But these were average-person moccasins. Which was what made them OK, I guess. I’d seen Brani’s son wearing a similar pair.

That was the magic of Dorian Martin. He seemed so damn normal. And it was disarming, to say the least.

When the door to the cockpit closed and I heard jovial male laughter, I turned to try to catch Debra’s eye. I managed to, but she instantly looked away. Oh, she was good. Smooth as could be. But I was more determined than she was practised.

‘Debra!’ I called. I smiled because if you smile when you talk you sound happy even if you’re not. Unless you smile
too much
– then you just sound crazy.

‘I’ll be right there,’ she said, and I watched her glance around to stall. She settled on grabbing some small bags of snacks and bringing them with her. ‘I have these pre-packaged goodies Mr Martin likes but I am capable of whipping up any kind of nibbles you might want, providing I have the ingredients. We could so some nice nachos or a nice –’

‘Who’s the N name?’ I asked. I put on a smile and tried to look sane. I was using my Rotunda project manager voice. Clipped, polite, professional, no bullshit. I didn’t want to seem like a crazy jealous lover, but I sort of was. My only hope was to disguise it.

But Debra was too good. She pressed her lips together, being sure to keep her expression schooled. ‘I really can’t speak out of turn, Ms – Clover. I’m sorry. That was my bad. I never should have done that. Ever.’

‘But you did and who cares, right?’ I smiled bigger. I was pretty sure at this point I looked like the Big Bad Wolf … or a serial killer. ‘It was just a little slip. But I’d really like to know.’ I leaned in and took a fortifying swig of my wine. ‘I mean, let’s face it, I really don’t belong here, do I?’

I thought she’d jump right on that. Something I’ve noticed is that the help of the well-to-do often start to think of themselves as well-to-do. As if they’re better than the rest of us. But I was way off base with Debra. She looked horrified.

‘Oh, no! Please don’t think that. Mr Martin, he’s such a nice man. Just a regular man. And he’s very taken with you. He called with instructions for this flight and everything. Which seemed odd to me because –’ she looked around nervously, leaned on the table a little ‘– he’s never done that, to my knowledge. But I wasn’t paying attention and I just assumed it was … her.’

‘Her who?’ I said softly. Then: ‘Please. Woman to woman. Non-rich girl to non-rich girl.’

She sighed. ‘God, I have such a big mouth.’ She leaned in and we both heard the cockpit door start to slide open. More male laughter. ‘Her name is Natalie. Natalie Hodg–’

‘Ladies!’ Dorian called out as he shut the door.

Debra stood up ramrod-straight and nearly choked. ‘Mr Martin. Can I get you anything?’ she called, her voice warbling nervously.

I didn’t need her to finish the sentence. I knew the rest of that name. Natalie Hodgins. Tall, blonde, gorgeous … heiress.

I fought the urge to put my head in my hands and cry. Or maybe just go back with Debra and crack open a full bottle of wine and drink it with a straw. Instead, I smiled.

If he was dating Natalie Hodgins, what the hell was he doing with me? I had no idea, but I was here and the engine had started and I was stuck. So I was going to make the most of it. I knew now that it was definitely temporary, so I might as well enjoy it.

He came around to my side of the table. ‘May I?’

I nodded, scooting over for him to sit in the huge leather seat with me. He was so close, his strong warm body pressed to mine. It was nice. I wished it could last.

He nudged me with his arm, playfully. ‘Are you excited?’ Before I could answer he said, ‘I am.’

The way he said it coupled with the look on his face told me he was being sincere. He looked very much like a small boy on Christmas morning. It made me smile. It made the angst in my chest loosen enough for me to breathe.

‘I am,’ I said, suddenly feeling it. ‘Are you going to tell me where we’re going?’

He took my hand and squeezed. I felt that squeeze all through my belly and much lower down. I thought of the day before, and him entering me. Taking me to the very heights I needed to reach before pleasure soared and then dropped me back to earth.

‘Nope! It’s a surprise.’

The overhead dinged and the captain’s voice filled the cabin. ‘Ladies and gentleman, it’s 67 degrees today, slightly overcast but not too windy. A perfect fall day, if you ask me. Destination Unknown is roughly the same weather.’ He chuckled, sounding amused at the ‘Destination Unknown’
.
Clearly the pilot was in on the surprise. ‘We’ll be taking off in about three minutes. Please buckle your safety belts until we’re in the air and Debra informs you it’s OK to take them off. Sit back, relax and enjoy your flight.’

‘He didn’t have to do that,’ Dorian said in my ear, making it tickle. ‘But I made him.’

I let myself go. If I was going to fly off to God knew where with him, I was going to relax and not worry about Natalie or my station in life versus his. I squeezed his hand as he had mine. ‘Made him?’

‘OK, you got me. I asked him.’

‘I thought so. You’re not very bossy for a boss, Dorian.’

He kissed me. It was fast and unexpected. I thought he was going to answer but he leaned in and planted his warm lips against my cooler ones and kissed me gently. Slowly. So that I moved to sink into the kiss, wanting it to build. Wanting it to sweep me away.

As the plane picked up speed and finally went airborne, he pulled back and brushed my hair out of my eyes. ‘I like when you say my name, Clover. I like it more than I can explain.’

* * *

‘Ten minutes until arrival,’ the captain said.

I finished my wine. I’d stayed with just the one so that I wouldn’t feel wonky when we were on the ground. Dorian rooted around in his pocket and then: ‘
Voila!
I’m going to have to ask you to submit to this.’

At the word ‘submit’ my stomach clenched pleasantly. I tried my best to ignore it. ‘What’s that?’

‘That’s me keeping my secret until we hit the ground.’ He didn’t move to put the black blindfold on me, though, until I nodded.

Just as the darkness was descending I saw Debra walk past, smile at us and say, ‘I’ll be with the captain in the cockpit if you need me, Mr Martin.’

‘Thank you, Deb,’ he practically purred. There was satisfaction in that tone. Wherever he was made him happy. Whatever he was going to surprise me with had him pleased.

When the world was blacked out, I leaned against his shoulder to give my body a point of reference. He put his arm around me and I breathed in the scent of him. The way his fingers felt on my shoulder. The way his thigh felt pressed to mine. I turned towards him, unable to see him but simply operating by sensation.

Another kiss. Starting off gentle, building to want, sliding roughly into desire. He held my face in his hands and took my mouth with his kiss. I could get lost in them. The feel of his tongue slipping over mine. The way he cupped the back of my head to deepen the kiss.

I gasped when he bit the tip of my tongue gently. Just enough of a bite to force a jolt of warm pleasure through me, to make my face flush with heat.

I gave him what he wanted without even realising it. ‘Dorian,’ I said.

He groaned. His hand slipped over my sweater, stroking my breasts so that my nipples pebbled almost painfully hard in my bra. Warm fingers slid underneath to brush my belly. My stomach muscles quivered from the sensation. I arched my hips without thinking, willing to bare myself to him whenever and wherever we were. I hadn’t even realised that until my body informed me by seeking out his touch.