Lost in You: Petal, Georgia, Book 2 (22 page)

Instead of the chair, he sat next to her. Giving her a little space, but not as much as she liked. She could smell him this close. Could look and see the jump of his pulse at his throat. She knew what that felt like against her mouth. Knew the taste of his skin, the warmth he gave off.

She’d missed him much more than she’d been willing to let herself admit. It rolled over her with such force she had to close her eyes for long moments to keep herself together.

“I’ve been working so hard to get you to see. To see me. To understand how much I loved you that I guess it didn’t hit me until now. Your absence, I mean.”

He scooted a little closer, but she put her hands under the blanket.

“I’m sorry. I hate seeing you this way. I want to fix it. I want to touch you. God, I’ve missed you.”

“Not yet.” She looked up at him, feeling a little more together. “You don’t get to touch me. And if you missed me, where have you been?”

“Three days a week I go in to the shop early to get ahead so I can leave at two. I take my dad in to see his therapist. I don’t know what goes on, only that it does. And they’re watching him more closely now than they did before. One of those days I go to see a therapist of my own. I guess…I guess I had stuff to unload.”

“Is it helping?”

“This mix of medication and talk therapy, listen to me, I have all that lingo now, anyway, it seems to be working for him. He hasn’t had an episode in three weeks. My mom, she’s in therapy with him. One day a week on her own, one with him. She’s more steady.”

Beth nodded. “I’m relieved. I can’t imagine how scary it must have been. Must be.” She corrected herself. “But I meant you. Is the therapy helping you?”

He chewed his bottom lip. “I had this anger. A lot of it. Some from the situation with my dad. But a lot from Iraq. I hadn’t really realized it until I started getting it all out. It’s better. I guess that’s really when I started to realize how much difference you made in my life. Once the other shit cleared up, I saw you. In all the places in my life. I kept telling myself you were better off away from the insanity. After all, you had this shit you had to get over, all that stuff from your childhood. Who was I to shovel more on you?”

She snorted. “God, you’re so dumb. How many times can I tell you that I wanted to help? That I wanted to be there in your life to support you through all this stuff?”

“Hey, look, I’m doing the best I can! I did it for you.”

“Bull! You did it, yes, and maybe you think you did it for me. But it wasn’t for me. I stood in front of you and begged you. It’s been a long time since I begged anyone for anything. It wasn’t easy. But I did it because I love you. I saw you were hurting and I wanted to help. There was no difference between that night at the Sands and the night before that.”

“You saw it! You saw the horror of it. It could have really harmed you, Beth. Don’t even say there was no difference. There was all the difference in the world.”

She turned to him, hurting on his behalf.

Quick and clever, he grabbed the hand she’d put on her leg, tangling his fingers with hers. Not letting go. And she let him. Let herself accept that just maybe, they could come out of this on the other side together. Stronger. But she had to deal with all the hard stuff or it would fester.

“The truth is it was there, whether I saw it or not. Your dad has a chemical imbalance. It makes him do things he wouldn’t otherwise. If he had cancer, would you be as ashamed? Because he’s sick either way. He didn’t ask for it. You didn’t ask for it. But it’s there. And it hurts you. And you hid it. My heart breaks to know you suffered through all those months with that knowledge and fear and that you didn’t tell me. Were you afraid I’d judge you?”

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, Beth. But thank God for it.” He sighed. “I don’t know what I felt. To be totally honest, I just, I don’t know, survived. I didn’t know what was happening. I had to fight my mom’s reluctance to rock the boat. Her fear of whatever we’d find out. I had to fight my dad’s fear that he was going crazy no matter what. My fear of the unknown. It felt like those hours I had with you were the one right thing in my life. I didn’t want to infect that with all the crap from my parents. I failed them. I wanted to be better. And then you came along. I knew I shouldn’t have given in, that I needed to keep you back. But I couldn’t resist and once I let you in, I couldn’t keep you out. Because it was good and right and you made me really happy.”

“Okay. Fair enough. Where do we go from here?”

“I saw you tonight with Trey and…and part of me said,
hey look, she’s moving on, that’s what I told her to do
. Another part said,
hey that’s my woman! I’m going to lose her for real if I can’t fix things
.”

He looked down to where he held her hand. “It was the last one that won out.” He tipped his chin, catching her gaze and feeling that connection between them click back into place. “I love you, Beth. I was a damned fool to push you away. It was dumb to push you away when you have so much to offer. When I
needed
your support and you offered it so freely. All you’ve ever done for me, you’ve put me first. Before your own feelings. I want you to know I see that. I understand it and I’m so grateful for it. And for you. I don’t deserve you. At all. But I sure do love you more than I can even put into words. If you forgive me, I’ll spend every day for the rest of our lives making it up to you.”

She’d waited so long for him to say it. To accept it. To see her for who she was and what he meant to her. “You can touch me now.”

He moved to her, pulling her from her nest of blankets and into his lap, encircling her with his arms, holding tight.

She hummed, having missed this so very much she desired nothing more than soaking up how good it felt to be in his arms again.

Beth buried her face in his neck, breathing him in and letting that ease the panic. “I thought you’d never come to your senses.”

“You’re not the only stubborn one, darlin’. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever.”

She squirmed a little, trying to get closer, and he groaned. “I’ve missed you. All parts of me.”

She felt the part he meant, poking into her behind.

Tipping her head back, she laughed, throwing her arms around his neck. “What are you waiting for then?”

He grinned, bending to kiss her, and she let all her fear go as she opened to him.

At first the kiss was nearly sweet. Reverent. He took it slow until she was just about to throw him to the floor and mount him.

“I’m trying to take my time here.” He spoke against her mouth and she nipped his bottom lip.

“Why? Jeez, Joe, give it to me!”

Laughing, he picked her up, and she grabbed on as he carried her to her bedroom. He put her down gently, and she launched herself at him, knocking him back onto the bed, pulling at his clothes as she straddled his waist.

“Someone wants it bad.”

She nodded, pulling her shirt up and off, satisfied for a moment by the way his gaze lasered onto her boobs, widening slightly.

He took them in his hands and she arched into his touch.

“I missed these. Though I did get a good look at a lot of them tonight in that sweater. So did Trey. Hope he got an eyeful, because if he looks at ’em like that again, I’ll poke him right in the eye.”

She laughed as he bucked her off and she landed on her back. “Though my girls looked
amazing
in that sweater tonight, I should tell you Trey has no romantic interest in me whatsoever.”

He pulled off her pajama bottoms and panties. “That sweater should be part of your regular date-night repertoire. He’d better not, or he and I are going to have to have a Come To Jesus about whose boobs are okay to look at. I’m leaving the socks on because they look hot.”

Like she’d complain.

He pulled his shirt and then pants and shorts off.

“Damn you’re gorgeous. I have missed all that Joe in my bed. Also I’ve had to use the step stool a lot more. And my vibrator.”

He groaned as he insinuated himself between her thighs. She hissed as the wave of pleasure of his skin against hers rolled over her.

“You can’t be telling me about your sex toys. I’ll explode.”

“I might even let you see one or two. After you remind me why you’re so much better than silicone, that is.”

“I’ll get right on that.” His mouth found hers again, his tongue sliding between her lips, filling her with his taste. She clutched his shoulders, holding him to her, wrapping her thighs around his waist.

She rolled her hips, trying to get some friction.

“Darlin’, easy now. It’ll come.”

She reached between them, grabbing his cock and squeezing. “Now, now, now.” She smeared her thumb through the slick at the tip. “Then you can take it slow.”

His breath caught, and then he groaned, licking down her neck. “Impatient.”

“Yes. And it’s your fault. If you hadn’t neglected me so much I would be far more patient. You need to put this”—she squeezed him again—“in here.” She drew the head of his cock through her for just a moment. Enough to make her a little shaky.

“Christ.” He reared up, reaching, fumbling through her top drawer until he found a condom, tearing it open with his teeth. She was so hot for him she didn’t even lecture him about how it was bad for him to do that.

She pushed him to his back, scrambling over him. He laughed, pulling her back down. “I want you from behind,” he said in her ear.

Oh.

She managed to get up on her elbows and knees as he slid fingers through her from behind. “Wanted to be sure you were ready. Oh, sweet, sweet Beth, you are.”

“Always for you.”

He slowly pushed in, stretching her, trying to take his time. Need clawed at him. Need to thrust in to his balls. Need to claim, to take back and mark. To let them both know she was his now and forever.

A restraining hand at her hip held her as she tried to push back, to take all of him at once. “If you do that, it’ll all be over before it starts. It’s been over a month since I’ve been here. It’s so good I may pass out. I want to make it good.”

She was temptation made a physical thing. Her curves, the pale gleam of her skin, the bumps of her spine as she arched. Her hair slid over the hand he placed at her shoulder, cool and soft.

“I dreamed of this.” He pushed in that last bit and paused, simply reveling in her body. In the way they fit. “There’s no one else but you, Beth. Always. I’ve never fit like this with anyone.”

He dragged himself nearly all the way out and pressed in again. Over and over. All the way in and then out, her body hugging at him as if she couldn’t bear his leaving.

She held him tight, squeezing her muscles around him until he gasped.

“No fair. You’re going to push me right over.”

Her laugh was breathless.

A challenge.

“Oh, so it’s like that? Well all right then.” The hand at her shoulder pulled her back as he let go of her hip, circling around to her clit. The sound she made pulled him closer to climax.

She tried to push back against him. To take him deeper and faster, but the hand he kept at her shoulder controlled her movements. He leaned in, kissing her shoulder. “Uh, uh, uh. I’m in charge here.”

She nearly melted into a puddle.

She ached. His words had stoked the fire turned raging inferno. He made her feel so beautiful. So desired. Powerful. In the month they’d been apart, she’d been so damned sad and empty. This had been why. She hadn’t realized it until that moment when he touched her like she was precious. When he met her with his own need, as he took hers and gave her what she demanded. He filled her up with so much.

Tears pricked her lashes as she accepted the enormity of what it meant to love someone. Of the way it made her vulnerable as she let herself get lost in him. Tangled up in the JoeandBeth of it all.

She flew apart with a cry. A cry he echoed just moments later as he pushed deep and stayed deep.

“Don’t you ever leave again. You hear me, Joseph?”

They fell to her mattress, his arms around her, holding her close.

“I hear you, Beth. I hear you. I love you and I’m sure as hell not letting you go ever again. I need you too much.”

Chapter Sixteen

Buck ran, his little legs a blur. He grabbed the ball in his mouth and headed back to where Meg giggled and clapped her hands.

Beth, standing against Joe’s chest, snorted, amused. “He’s gonna get her nice and tired.”

“Good for everyone.” Joe kissed the top of Beth’s head.

“Oh you mean so your son sleeps better too?”

He laughed. “Our son now.”

“Did you hear that, Buck? I’m your new mommy.”

Meg thought that was hilarious, and Buck danced over, licking Beth’s hands, barking up a storm.

“I vote you bring Buck to all family dinners from now on.” Matt spoke from where he’d been sitting on the porch with Tate. “He’s kept them running all day long. Lots of tired kids will sleep well.”

“Well, but now Nicholas is begging for a dog.” Maggie snorted. “We were going to the breeder until Beth suggested we try the animal shelter.”