Love and Robotics (19 page)

PART TWO

COMPANIONS

Skyhacked

When Alfred woke two days later he was completely disoriented. He couldn’t identify the jazzy decor or rattling air conditioning. If he reached out he could touch either side. The dull ache at his temples didn’t help. A bet? An assignation? Perhaps Vita had press ganged him into one last mission, as she’d threatened to do for years. His mouth tasted abominable. It was only when he saw a pair of speed freaks roar past the porthole he remembered. The Georgiana II. His tour with Josh.

Washed and slightly more human, he knocked on the doors in the passage. Derkins’s cabin was almost subterranean, every chink of light blocked. He was in a foetal crouch on the bed, a flannel clamped to his forehead. “Make it quick,” he moaned.

“You’ll live, you soft git. Coming?”

“No way. This is meant to be a holiday.”

The other door was ajar, the blinds scrolled and the bed made. It was heartbreakingly neat.

“Josh?”

Alfred retraced their movements last night. They’d deposited a paralytic Derkins outside his cabin. Josh was only marginally more sober, walking into his wardrobe and counting the shoes. He mustn’t assume the worst. Josh was sensible, he wouldn’t go wandering outside or, gods forbid, into somebody’s cabin.

The hub was deserted. Balloons wilted, empties rolled down the corridors, discarded shoes lay outside doors. Alfred stuck his head into the ballroom - more of the same, the odd waiter slumped in an alcove. He pushed the glass doors open and climbed onto the deck, shaking his head at the blast of cold air.

Good old hubs. Alright, they were noisy and slow, but at least you travelled in comfort. He hated those ghastly airbuses with passengers packed together or blitzen shrieking like witches. You couldn’t get a decent coffee on board for love or money. How horrified the Adventurers would be. 

“Cheers, chaps,” he mumbled, taking a nip from his hip flask.

He was still drunk, wasn’t he? Perhaps it was for the best. Yes, Derkins was here to make sure he didn’t disgrace himself, but when they disembarked he and Josh would be left to their own devices. It was the first time they’d been truly alone. What if Josh got bored? What if he got lost?

Something on the observation tower caught his eye. A lacy scarf drifting on the wind. It resolved into a long grey coat, golden hair. He clattered up the steps.

“CER’ll be overjoyed if I have to mail bits of you back,” he roared.

“It’s something, isn’t it?” Josh called back.

“You weren’t about to chuck yourself over, were you?”

The artificial stared at his shoes as though they had nothing to do with him. “Didn’t notice. I love heights.”

“It’d be safer if you go back over.”

Josh slipped between the bars and sat beside him. “No need to worry.”

“You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“As if I’d do that to you.”

As his arm rested against Josh’s on the bar, Alfred’s eyes were drawn to his profile. It should be a crime looking like that. The pale curls stopping short of his collar, the creamy skin, the massive eyes. Looking at him made you intoxicated. Alfred had always been repelled by older men slavering over pretty boys. He’d never dreamt one day he would be one.

“It’s funny, being somewhere CER can’t check up on me.” Josh kicked off his shoes and dangled his feet over the edge. “I could be doing anything.”

“Do they usually?”

“They can see my interface. I always feel like someone’s going to jump out and yell, ‘Gotcha!’”

“Is that why you don’t talk about them?”

“I’m trying to ward them off.”

Alfred pulled out his cigarette case. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Why would I?”

“People do. They go through this daft coughing routine.”

“How very stupid.”

When the matches wouldn’t light Josh cupped his hand around it. There was something companionable about sitting up in the clouds with their heads together, the sea slipping away beneath them.

“How’s Derkins?” Josh asked.

“Dug himself in.”

“I thought I was a lightweight.”

Now was the chance to hear what Josh really thought about the doctors.“Tell me about your team.”

“There’s Dr Ozols. She coaches me in human behaviour; she says she’s done a better job on me than her boyfriends. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve seen.”

Alfred bit back a twinge of jealousy. “I’d remember a science muse. Who else?”

“Dr Sugar you know. He’s alright, though he goes on a bit. I know you don’t like Dr Malik and I can’t blame you. She doesn’t like people.”

“Maybe that’s why she went into robotics.”

“Pip says it’s the last stop for the weirdest people in the world.” He remembered who he was talking to. “Sorry.”

“Gussy never minded being called weird. She saw it as a compliment.”

“Who wants to be normal? Normal’s boring.”

“I’ll drink to that.” Alfred toasted Josh with the hipflask. “Want some?”

“Isn’t it a bit early?”

“A bit late, you mean. No one’s watching.”

Josh put it to his lips. “It’s got a kick to it.”

“Good, isn’t it? Puts hairs on your chest.”

The artificial looked revolted. “Why would I do that?”

“People like them?”

“I never want any.”

Alfred tried not to think of his own chest, as hairy as the rest of him. “What about Dr Fisk?”

The response was immediate.“I don’t like her.”

“How’s that work? She’s your handler.”

              “Have you ever met someone and thought, ‘I don’t like you’? It floats around whenever you see them.”

“Must be awkward.”

“If I could’ve picked anyone at the Centre, why
her
? Pip, Mandy - even one of the other doctors.”

“Why would she make it up?”

“Who knows?
Anyone
would’ve been better. Except Adrian, perhaps.”

              “Who’s Adrian?”

“The CEO. He struts around and tells everyone to look busy but doesn’t do anything himself. Looks like a ferret in a suit.”

“White hair, pink eyes?”

“Nobody likes him. There were four Pinder brothers but the others died, all with golf clubs in their heads.”

“Isn’t that unlikely?”

“Maybe it’s one of your coincidences.”

Josh’s expression had darkened since Fisk was mentioned. Time to change the subject. “We’re crossing the Joop. You can borrow my binoculars.”

“We can see it from here? It must be how high?”

“Twenty thousand feet. But yes, you can.”

Alfred showed Josh how to bring objects into focus, to swing round and away. “There’s Mount Akka. It hasn’t blown in twenty years. I saw the island last time it did. Petrified trees, animals and people - nowhere to run.”

“How awful.”

“There’s the Flying Bridge, one of the wonders of the world -”

“Look! What are they?”

“A school of porpoises.”

“Oh,” Josh said, “if someone told me two months ago I’d be whizzing through the air doing this, I’d never have believed them. It’s not a dream, is it?”

“I’m dreaming too if it is.”

“Please don’t wake me up.”

They shared a smile. Josh nudged him. “Can I have another swig?”

“Go ahead.”

He took genteel sips at first, then bolted it down.

“Steady on! I don’t have a bottomless supply.”

              “What’s that?” Josh pointed shakily at the binoculars.

“That cloudbank’s in the way -”

“Maybe I’m seeing things, but it’s getting closer.”

“You’re tizzicky - Shit, it is. Get down!”

The observation deck swayed. At the same time something struck the side of the hub, making it veer off course. They heard screams and breaking glass. Six figures swarmed the deck.

“What is it?” Josh whispered.

“I don’t know.”

“What shall we do? Stay here?”

“Michael’s in there.”

“I didn’t know he meant that much to you.”

              “
All
my friends mean that much to me.” Alfred brought out his gun. “Do exactly as I say.”

“Or what?”

“We’re dead.”

“Sounds like an incentive.”

They went back in through an escape Alfred had noticed earlier, Josh clutching his arm. He felt more alive than he had in years.

“Are you sure we’re going the right way?”Josh hissed.

“No.”

“Why are you smiling?”

              “It’s very hard to explain.”

To anybody who opened their door, they said, “Everything’s under control. Stay in your cabin.” One woman gave Josh her spare key card. Alfred shut the door in her face.

              “She was only being friendly.”

“She’s old enough to be your mother.” As Josh raised his eyebrows, “Someone’s mother, anyway.”

“Isn’t this our floor?”

“Yes. Let’s check on Michael while we’re at it.”

Derkins lay face down on the bed, foot up like a periscope. Josh prodded him and he gave an almighty snore.

“He’s well away.”

“The less he knows, the better,” Alfred said grimly.

“Where do you think those guys are?”

“If they’re not in the ballroom, we can chase them around.”

They passed down the rows of cabins and came out into the service corridor. “Get in,” Alfred said. It was a lift shaped like a lantern, its sides distempered glass. They could see out but no one could see in.

“Will we fit?”

“It’ll be cramped, but yes.”

Cramped wasn’t the word. Josh’s head was crammed under Alfred’s arm and the artificial’s legs were around his ears. It would have been exciting if the moment wasn’t so tense. Alfred typed in a few numbers and the lift began to move: not up or down like conventional lifts but in a sidelong slant.

“Won’t they hear?”

“Nobody notices service lifts.”

“We can’t hear them.”

Alfred punched out a panel. “We can now.”

              “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“You know me so well.”

Soon the lift dangled above the ballroom. The stragglers from earlier were assembled, hands above their heads. More black clad men had arrived - there were fourteen altogether. They all wore visors and belts decked with murderous instruments. Thirteen were tall and imposing, the fourteenth shorter and thicker set. He was clearly the leader. He prowled the room and stared into the faces of the passengers. Some he dismissed outright. Others he pushed towards his colleagues. They were taken outside.

“It’s the women,” Josh said. “They’re taking the pretty women away.”

Alfred felt sick. “Where are they going?”

“The gym, I think.”

Skyhub gyms were always a deciding factor on cruises; this one was no different. It was modern and shiny, each wall flanked with exermobiles, running belts and stepfloors. Normally they would be droning, zipping and buzzing. The only activity was amongst a ring of chairs, where twenty women were seated. Six of the men were patrolling, stopping and scrutinising each one.

“What are they doing?”

“Looks like they’re styling their hair.”

“Get away with you!”

The men stood over their targets, sifting through their hair. It resembled nothing so much as nit checks at school.

“Hairdressing skyjackers?”

“Maybe they need the practice.”

They couldn’t stop giggling, not the best idea in a confined space. After the last woman had been examined, the tallest man shook his head. The captives filed outside.

“It can’t be here. Must’ve got the wrong hub.”

“Himself swore it was the right one -”

“Himself’s past it!”

The speaker found himself surrounded by a forest of guns. “Okay, okay,” he said, holding up his hands. The guns were lowered.

“What do we do?”

“This can’t be everyone, it’s huge. We’ll have to knock on doors.”

“More trouble than it’s worth -”

“We find it, we’re made. No more shit.”

A sigh rippled the group. “That’ll totally be worth it.”

It looked as though they were punching each other; in fact they were bumping knuckles in the shape of a star. Alfred’s eyes widened. “We need to bring the lift down - quietly -”

Josh keyed it in. As the last of the men stepped into the corridor, the lift was level with the ground. The leader waited, his arms folded.

“Well?”

“Nothing, chief.”

“Do I only recruit imbeciles? The quality will still be in bed. Get on with it!”