Love and Sacrifice (5 page)

Chapter 6

“Under Control”

Tommy

              "So how is everything going with the Pierce girl?" Mickey asks me as we sit in Heart's Pub. We are the only ones here because Mickey likes to dine alone or in the midst of his trusted people. I also think he likes the fact that he has the money and intimidation to buy every seat in a restaurant.

"Good. She likes me
," I inform him.

"Of course she does." He cuts his steak
, then points at me with his fork. "Don't get too close. Get close enough for her to like you, but not for you to get emotions."

I chuckle. "How is that?"

"Women and men are on different levels when it comes to feelings and bullshit. You give her a guy who brings flowers, says the right words, even if it's ‘you’re beautiful’ or ‘nice haircut’ and she falls on the table with her legs wide open, but when it comes to men, it takes a whole lot. Especially men like you, men who don't show love because they have witnessed firsthand what it will do to you."

"You don't have to worry about me with that
, Mickey." Telling him this, I almost believe it myself. I’m just like Mickey in that way. I believe my own bullshit.

"I know you wouldn't betray me
, but this isn't like the other times, Tommy. There is no fairy tale ending for this family. Roman Pierce put a death sentence on himself and his family when he killed my baby brother in cold blood."

"I know that."

"Good." Mickey continues chewing his steak and for some reason I'm wondering if he knows more than he’s letting on. Like he already knows that I might have some type of genuine interest in Ella. I'm trying to tell myself I don't, but ever since yesterday I can't stop picturing her face in my head or that kiss. It's probably just a phase. I pray it’s just a phase.

"So how is the investigation going?" I ask him.

Mickey scoffs while he chews. "Not fast enough. This new detective, the precinct got, thinks he's a real big hotshot, but he doesn't have any witnesses. My guys on the inside tell me they’re sweating their nuts off. But this is also why we have to stay still with taking care of Roman Pierce. I don't want to give them any reason to come after me. Pierce family gets killed, the cops will rejoice, but they will also use it as an opportunity to come after the people that did it."

"Why do you think that?
"

"I know so. Remember Carl Brass? Guy kills Francisco
Lugotti and his whole damn family, even his grandchildren; cops nab Carl Brass a month later."

"Mickey, why do you we have to hurt the whole family?” I’m taking a risk asking this right now. “I’m only asking because you know how I feel about hurting women and children. I’ve never lied to you about that.”

“You’re right, but Tommy when you mess with family, everyone has to go. You have to let the son of a bitch, who had the audacity to take what you love, know that he made the worst mistake of his life. Besides a man like Roman Pierce doesn’t care if he lives or die, he only cares about one thing and that is family. So to fully bring Roman Pierce to his knees, begging me to kill him is to hurt the thing he loves most, and that my boy has always been the Valentine way.” Mickey gives one of those sinister smiles again. The smile he has every time he kills someone.

Ella

“So, why did you sell drugs?” I ask Tommy as we walk along the beach.

“Because it was the only thing I was good at.”

“That’s bullshit.” He jerks his head at my not-so-subtle response.

“Why is that bullshit? I didn’t have money like you do.”

“It’s not about money, Tommy. What skill goes into drug dealing?”

“Persuasion, intimidation, good supply.”

“Then why didn’t you become a car salesman or a lawyer? Or go to college and major in marketing?”

“You know, this is our third time hanging out and you’re already getting on my damn nerves,” he tells me as I kick the sand with my bare feet.

“Please, I’ve been getting on your nerves since you first met me. Just tell the truth; you sold drugs because you wanted to.”

“Okay, so what? At the same time it was all I knew. I grew up in the neighborhood that was literally hell, it even has ‘hell’ in the name.”

“So, who was the guy you assaulted?”

“I told you. This guy who was talking shit and trying to sell in our territory. I was given the order to teach him a lesson, so I did.”

“Do you regret it?”

“What’s with all the questions, Ella?” Tommy stops walking.

“I just want to know if you regret it.”

He stares at the ocean for a moment. “I regret getting caught and going to prison.”

I’ve discovered a trait of his. When he’s lying, he stares away. A typical thing people do when they lie, but with him it’s different. It’s like it’s a lie he doesn’t even want to admit to himself, like he believes his own bullshit.

“So what about your family?” he asks me. His tone sounds a little harsh.

“What about them?”

“What are they like?”

“My Mom is awesome. She gets on my nerves with how straight she tells things. Like she doesn’t sugarcoat anything and thinks she’s right all the damn time. And yeah, ninety percent of the time she is, but I don’t like to admit that.”

“Well, I know where you get that from.”

My mouth drops and I punch him in the chest. “Asshole.” He giggles a little and I’m relieved he’s not uncomfortable or mad anymore.

“What about your brother?”

“Donovan is Donovan. Heart of gold, conflicted in the soul.”

“What?”

“He’s your typical good guy with a bad side. He’s like my Dad with that and like my Dad; he has Claudia who blocks the bad side in him. She’s really good for him.”

“What is Claudia like?”

“Claudia is great. Actually, we used to hate each other, well I hated her, then she grew to hate me. Especially after everything I did.”

“What did you do?”

I scratch the top of my head and bite my lip. I’m nervous about telling him my mistakes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Screw that! You give me the third degree and I tell you all my criminal acts so you give up the high school girl drama that you and your friends created.”

I roll my eyes because he is right. It’s not fair for him to tell me his past mistakes and I not tell him mine. “Remember that guy at the mall?” He nods. “Well, he used to date Claudia. While they were dating… we slept together.”

“That’s bogus,” he says with a sly grin.

“Yeah, I know. What’s funny is that everyone actually thought I slept with Eric just to piss off Claudia, but I didn’t. I slept with him because I actually liked him. It was stupid and naïve of me, but when I got to Eastbrook and Christian died, I was lost. Not only does one brother die, but the other gets shipped off to another country. My parents go into depression and I ─ ”

“You didn’t have anyone by your side.”

I’m trying not to cry here. The way Tommy just said that was so knowing and endearing and nice. It’s just nice to hear someone say it.

“Yeah… and I’m not blaming my family. I understood, but it was times when I wanted to just yell and say ‘help me.’” I watch his eyes study me and it makes me feel vulnerable. This should bother me, but it doesn’t. “So, one day I was in school in the library crying my eyes out by my lonesome and in walks Eric Anderson, the cutest and most popular boy in school. He was nice to me and what started out as texting turned into secret meetings and eventually me losing my virginity to him. After we had sex he acted like it was nothing. I watched him pretend with Claudia and then found out he was sleeping with every girl in the school, and I envied her. I envied Claudia and her dad was trying to put my dad in jail so I told her in front of the whole damn school.”

“Well, we all fuck up sometimes.” Tommy shrugs and it’s so cute to me. “So what about your brother and Claudia? Wasn’t it wrong for him to fall for the daughter of the enemy?”

“Well, it’s kind of complicated. They didn’t know who each other was when they first met. Yeah, maybe, when they found out they should have stopped, but I literally think they couldn’t. They are so in love with one another that I don’t
think they could ever stop. They look at each other like my parents do. I’ve never really understood that. How you could be so consumed by someone. I still think it’s crazy.”

“You don’t want a love like that?”

“It’s like I do, but I really don’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m not the girl who wants to lose control. If I have it under control, I won’t get my heart broken.”

             
Chapter 7

             
“Mystery Vs Truth”

             
Tommy

"You didn't tell me about your dad." I slide that question in after the conversation about love.

She doesn't want to get her heart broken and I should be happy that I might be the one to break it, but it's seriously killing me right now.

"My dad is definitely one of a kind." She smiles
to herself. "He's this hard ass, but he has the biggest heart."

“A mobster with a heart of gold, that's a new one.”

"Yeah, it seriously is. Thanks to that heart he gave up… well, he gave up
most
of the mob life. He's no saint, but he does protect us. It's been hard since Christian, but I think he's starting to get back to not looking over his shoulder every five seconds."

Well
, that's about to change.

"
What about your family?" She asks me the question I don’t want to answer. "What was your mom like?"

"French
," I say.

"Do you know French?"

"Not really. A few words. She died before she could teach me anymore."

"What else?"

"She was amazing. She was beautiful and she loved me. Everybody in the neighborhood was in love with her. Unfortunately, she chose my dad."

"What was he like?"

"An asshole. He didn't deserve her. Hell, I didn't deserve her."

"Why do you say that? Tommy, she was your mom."

"Yeah, but if she hadn't got pregnant with me, she wouldn't have been stuck with him."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. So, leave it at that."

"Okay." She holds up her hands in surrender.

"So...." She stops walking again and looks at me. "You want to kiss me again?"

I smile and I place my finger
on my chin and act like I have a better choice.

"I guess
," I joke with her.

"Really, you guess?" She
moves pass me. "Well, let me know when you stop guessing."

I laugh and grab her wrist, pulling her into a kiss. The first kiss was crazy and aggressive
, but this one is nice and tender. I love the way her lips feel and how her tongue licks the roof my mouth. Ella Pierce is indeed a great kisser. And I would love nothing more than to take her back to my apartment and let her kiss every part of me.

We finally come up for air and I rub her cheeks with my hands while she wraps her arms around me.

"I like you," I tell her, without even thinking. I don't say it with a secret motive nor do I intentionally have a plan behind it.

"I like you too."

We continue our walk on the beach, but this time holding hands, something I‘ve never done before.

            
 
Ella

"So, Ella," my mom says as she passes
me a fork for my chopped watermelon. "Tell me about the guy you’re seeing."

"What?" I almost drop the
fork on the kitchen table. "What guy?"

"Ella, I wasn't born yesterday.
You've been ducking in and out of here for the past couple of days like a crazy person. I know you’re seeing a boy."

I sigh. "Okay, I didn't want to tell you because I don't want
Dad to know yet."

"Why not? Who is he?"

"His name is Tommy and..... he got out of prison two years ago." I quickly let out that last part.

My mother drops her fork on the plate. “What? He just got out of prison?”

“Yeeaahh?” I slowly slur out my answer into a question while wincing.

“Ella, where the hell did you meet this guy?”

“Funny you ask me that, he was a waiter at my graduation party. And then I ran into him at the mall and then I ran into him at All Saints Cemetery when I visited Christian’s grave.”

“Ella.” My mom places her hand over mine. “I didn’t know you’ve been visiting your brother.”

“Yeah, I go sometimes. It’s relaxing to go by myself and just talk to him.”

“Yeah, it is,” my mother’s answer shows me that I’m not the only one who has been visiting Christian’s grave. I wouldn’t be shocked if the whole family does that from time to time.

“Okay, so back to this boy.” My mom refocuses to my mystery guy. Not wanting to remember the night she lost her eldest child.

“Tommy Dumas, he grew up in Hell’s Kitchen, went to jail for possession… and assault.” I shrug my shoulders like it’s no big deal.

“Assault?”

“You question assault, but not possession?”

“No sweetie, possession is bad enough, but assault hits the mark.”

“Well Mom, it’s a bit hypocritical for
this
family to judge, don’t you think?”

“Ella, I am not judging. Yes, most of the sources from this family’s income are not exactly eligible for the best model citizen’s award, but you know your dad doesn’t want you getting involved with trouble. Our choices were trouble enough and the life we provide for you is so you won’t make the same mistakes.”

“Mom, I’m not going to marry the guy, we’re just hanging out. He actually moved here to get away from it all and he works a legit job now.”

“And good for him, but sweetie there are dangers in this world that can sneak up on you. And what did you mean when said you ran into him at the cemetery? Why was he there?”

“Obviously, someone he knew was buried there, Mom.”

“Don’t be a smartass.”

I give her a sly grin, but quickly get serious for a moment. “It was his mom. She’s buried in the same cemetery. He actually said that his mom used to tell him the same saying about the cemetery that you’ve always told us.”

“Really? That is a big coincidence.”

“I know, right?”

“Maybe it’s fate.”

“You were just lecturing me. Now you’re about to get all romantic?”

“No, I’m not. I’m just saying fate does exist. If I hadn’t come that day to my father’s office the same day your grandfather ─ ”

“Sent Dad, you would have never met and fell in love and we would have never existed on this lovely planet.” I bat my eyelashes, mocking my mother’s story.

She points her fork at me and tries to hide her smile. “Joke all you want, but it’s true.”

“I know mom, but please, don’t tell dad about him because the last guy I hung out with, dad pulled out his gun and sat it on the kitchen table just to intimidate the kid. And I remind you we were fourteen. So imagine if he found out that I was possibly seeing an ex con.”

“I don’t know, Ella.” My mom shakes her head.

“Mom, please. Give me at least a couple a weeks to figure this whatever thing we have and then you guys can meet him, I swear.” I clasp my hands together and give her my baby face, poking my lip out.

“Oh please, that stopped working when you started growing boobs.”

I drop the face.

“But, I will give you some time and then if things with this guy get serious, we have to meet him, Ella.”

“Okay, deal.”

Thank God I didn’t mention the whole him threatening two guys from my school with a gun.