Love and Truth (34 page)

“Mrs. Nakamura, I have to go to him. He needs to know I’m not giving up.”

She gave me a light reassuring squeeze.

“Okay, dear, but from what I gathered from his mother, he has lost all hope of the two of you continuing in a relationship. Things may not be as easy as you think, so please be careful and don’t expect too much from him. Even though he’s a very strong looking man on the outside, Jonathan is a very emotional soul who takes things straight to the heart most of the time. His break-up from his ex-girlfriend sent him into a tailspin, and I have no doubt that his feelings for you were much more magnified than they were for her. I can’t imagine what he’s feeling, thinking he’s lost you.”

“Thank you for being concerned. I promise to be mindful of everything you’ve told me.” Ms. Nobuko had prepared dinner so I sat down and had a quick bite to eat. Mr. Nakamura was out. He was called back into work due to a computer system failure.

“Emiko, I’m going to go upstairs and text my parents and Annie, letting them know how I’m doing, then I’ll be ready to go. Can you call a cab?” I got up from the table and headed upstairs. I didn’t eat much. My stomach was twisted up in knots.

“Sure, Nicole,” Emiko said. I texted Mom and Dad, telling them I got here safely, then texted Annie, telling her I was on my way to see Jonathan. I checked myself in the mirror one more time before leaving. My eyes looked better and I didn’t look as haggard. I grabbed my purse and slid the jar of sand into it. If everything went well, I’d be giving it back to him.

The cab arrived and my stomach fluttered anxiously. I swore I felt woozy. Maybe I should’ve waited until tomorrow night. The exhaustion mixed with the jetlag and nerves was a bad combination, to say the least.

“Nicole, are you okay?” Emiko asked. She stared at me with a worried expression. “You look pale.”

“No, I’m fine, really. I’m just super nervous, that’s all.”

We didn’t say much during the drive over. The closer we got, the more freaked out I felt. “God, Emiko, I hope I’m doing the right thing. I’ll be crushed if he refuses to see me.” She looked out the window, probably trying to conceal the worry on her face.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. Just have faith. I’m sure he’ll be really happy to see you.”

I was seriously doubtful. I had this feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach for some reason, but I wasn’t turning back now. It was a now-or-never sort of moment.

We pulled up to the driveway and I saw several cars parked in it, which seemed odd. I could see a fire burning on the beach in front of his house. That was equally strange, and my heart began to pound. Was he having a party? That was what it looked like anyway.

“Emiko, did you know anything about him having a party? There seems to be a lot of people here.”

She shook her head. “No, I haven’t heard about a party. But he does hang out with an older crowd. Those two cars right there are Hiro’s and Izo’s. But I don’t know who any of the others belong to.”

Great, I thought. I didn’t want an audience. Now it looked like there would be no avoiding one. I was either about to make the biggest fool out of myself or I was about to have an amazing night.

“Let’s do it, Emiko. I can’t just sit out here in the cab.”

We paid the driver and walked up the steps to the house. I could hear music playing and people talking. We rang the doorbell and my stomach felt like I just bungee-jumped from the top of a skyscraper. My mouth was dry and words were all jumbled in my head. It would be a miracle if I got any of what I planned on saying out right. The door swung open and there stood Izo. His eyebrows raised and he looked shocked.

“Um, well, hello ladies.” He stood frozen and dumbfounded.

“Hi, Izo,” Emiko said quietly. I looked past him, seeing all sorts of people in the house, none of which were Jonathan.

“Emiko san. Does J know you guys were coming? Because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t. Even though I can’t say I’m sorry to see you fine little ladies this evening.” He was such a smug jerkoff.

“Izo,” I said strongly. “No, he doesn’t know we were coming, but I would still like to see him if you don’t mind letting us in.”

He frowned. “Nicole, I know we got off on the wrong foot before, but just so you know, I’m not your enemy. It’s hard for me to be friends with girls who look like you, but I can try in your case.” He grinned mischievously.

Uggg, this guy was so arrogantly obnoxious. How Jonathan could stand to be around him amazed me. “Izo, that’s fine but can you please let us in?” he glanced over his shoulder, looking apprehensive.

“Why don’t you let me go get J first? Maybe you should wait here.”

What the hell!
Why was he acting all weird about letting us in? There were a ton of people in there. Why couldn’t we come in? Unless…Oh no! Oh my God. What if he’s with someone. What if he’s with a girl? I couldn’t handle seeing that. I looked at Emiko with a panic-stricken.

“Why, Izo? Why can’t we just come in, huh? Is there a reason you’re making us stand at the door?”

Screw it, I thought. I wasn’t standing out here like some lovesick puppy dog. I loved him. I knew he loved me and I was here to tell him so. He said I’d always be his girl so here I was, being just that.

“You know what, Izo? You might be a big guy, but I’m coming in this house one way or another so just let us in already!”

He stepped aside, slowly holding out his hand toward the inside of the house.

“Okay, baby doll. But just remember, Izo tried to save you from it.”

Save me from it! What is IT?
What was he saving me from? I didn’t ask. Instead I barreled through the entrance and scanned the room for Jonathan. I didn’t see him anywhere. I made my way toward the bedroom and dreaded what I might see as I looked around the corner. Thankfully, it was empty. Where was he? Emiko trailed behind me nervously. I turned to her and saw the concern on her face.

“Emiko, just go find Hiro and let me do this, please. I promise I’ll be fine.”

“Okay, Nicole. But I’ll be right here if you need me, okay?”

I walked back into the living room where I saw a few American girls in the kitchen giggling and whispering. They were glancing over at me too. What the hell were they looking at me for? This was getting weirder by the minute.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, startled.

“Baby doll, he’s not in here.” It was Izo, who was the last person I wanted to talk to.

“Well, where is he, Izo? This is his house. His car’s outside, so I know he’s here.”

He nodded toward the beach. I couldn’t see anything from where I stood except for the glow of a fire. I stepped in the direction of the sliding glass doors leading out to the deck. Izo put a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

“Nicole, don’t go out there.”

“Why the hell not, Izo? Is he out there with some tramp? Just tell me!”

Two of the snotty girls walked past me and opened the sliding glass doors. A leggy redhead yelled out the door.

“Leah, how long you going to be out there?” she asked. “We’re getting bored in here.”

In that split second my entire world crumbled at my feet. I stepped out onto the deck past the girls to get a better view. All I could see was Jonathan and a girl sitting closely side by side. He had his arm around her!

I never saw this coming. I instantly felt sick. Izo came up from behind me and I grabbed onto him for support. The next thing I knew, the annoying redhead yelled again.

“Leah!” was all I heard. Leah. Leah, his ex. Leah, the girl he was with for two years. Leah, the girl who broke his heart, Leah, his first love.
Leah, Leah , Leah!
At that moment, the two girls turned around. I couldn’t make out his facial expression, but I knew he saw me. He

stood slowly and froze. Leah reached out for his hand and I envisioned myself running with super-human speed to her rip her hand off of him.
He was mine!

I had never felt such rage and jealousy. The pain and hurt, mixed with the reality of what I was seeing, overwhelmed me. He turned to her and said something before walking my way. As he got closer, I stood frozen in place. I wanted to run but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do this. I built this all up in my head and it was all falling down around me. I snapped back to reality and looked up at Izo with tear-filled eyes. This was what he was trying to prevent me from seeing. I looked around frantically for Emiko but didn’t see her. I grabbed Izo by the wrist and pulled him toward the front door.

“Get me out of here, Izo. Please get me the hell out of here. I know you have a car so I’m begging you to please take me away from this house right now.”

I heard Jonathan’s voice behind me. Hearing my name on his lips after so long cracked my resolve. I had to turn and look back just once. I just wanted to see those green eyes one more time. I glanced over my shoulder as we walked out the front door.

“Nicole, wait!” he yelled. “Stop, Izo! Stop her!”

I glared up at Izo. “You’re not stopping me. Do you understand. Which car is yours?”

He clicked the keyless entry and I ran to the car as fast as I could, ripping open the door. Just before I got in, I turned back and looked in Jonathan’s direction. I reached inside my purse and pulled out the jar of sand. Jonathan stopped as he looked down at what I was holding. “Nicole…” he said, but it was too late. I threw the jar down onto the concrete driveway. Glass shattered and the sand spilled out everywhere. I looked back up into his eyes.

“There. I brought it back to you! I wanted to give it back, tell you that my heart is yours, but yet again, you smashed it into a million pieces. Only this time, I will never see past the scars. It’s unsalvageable this time.”

I got in the car with Izo and we shut the doors as I hit the lock button. I saw Jonathan plowing through the front yard toward us. Just as he approached the car I see her, Leah, standing in the doorway. Her long blonde hair swirled below her shoulders. She wore a tiny miniskirt and an equally tiny bikini top. She had an amazing tan and looked a little taller than me.
She looked like fucking beach Barbie!
I half expected to see a pink Camaro parked out here somewhere.

Jonathan walked to my window and leaned down, looking at me with pleading eyes while yelling my name.

“Nicole, get out of the car! What are you doing? I didn’t know you were back.”

Yeah, that was obvious. I said nothing. Tears streamed down my face as I looked forward, facing away from him. He looked different somehow. I wasn’t sure how to explain it, but he looked like someone else; not the man I fell in love with. How could he do this? How could he write me a letter like that, tell me that his heart was mine forever, then sit out there in an embrace with that girl. Not just any girl, but a girl he shared a very intimate past with. There was no turning back from this. The bridges were burned to the ground now. I was done. I tried and I didn’t give up. I came back to fight for him, but he had already moved on with his ex-girlfriend. “Go, Izo. Please, just go. I don’t care where. Just anywhere but here.” He shifted the car into reverse and Jonathan screamed at him.