Love at Last (Last Frontier Lodge #2) (20 page)

Garrett took a breath and nodded slowly. “I get it. Elaine told me I have to practice saying it.”

Becca arched a brow. “Saying what?”

“That I love Delia.” He had to force the words out of his mouth, an unfamiliar anxiety and vulnerability tightening his chest. He was accustomed to feeling in control, and when it came to Delia, he tended to feel off kilter and uncertain—a feeling he didn’t appreciate.

Becca grinned. “Elaine knows best.”

At that, Garrett turned to leave. On his way out, he paused and glanced back at Becca. “I know it’s part of your job every day, but you might want to heed Aidan’s advice and take some extra precautions with that case he mentioned.”

Becca nodded. “I know he was trying to help. I’ll give him a call to find out what he knows.”

“Thanks. Let me know if you need anything.”

Garrett made his way out back into the damp afternoon. Instead of returning to his office, he texted Elaine that he’d be in tomorrow morning and headed home. Once there, he found himself restless. He ended up spending hours working on a few legal briefs. Late that night, he stood by the windows staring out across the city, its lights a blurry glimmer in the rainy darkness. He turned from the view and carefully put away the takeout he’d ordered. He washed his single plate and fork and placed them in the drying rack. His kitchen was quiet and stark, void of the warm feeling he associated with the kitchen at Last Frontier Lodge. He imagined a kitchen in a home with Delia. It likely wouldn’t be pristine as his so often was because he rarely used it. He tried to recall if he’d ever cooked a meal here and couldn’t come up with a sole memory of such an event. With a sigh, he walked out of the kitchen and flicked the light off.

***

Delia stared out the windows of the lodge early one morning. On the heels of another late night, she’d rolled out of bed after a restless night of sleep. She’d arrived at the restaurant before anyone else and started baking. With everything in the oven, her time was idle now until the restaurant opened for breakfast. The sun was making its way up behind the mountains, its presence heralded by streaks of lavender in the winter sky. The days in Alaska flipped swiftly. After the dark months over the holidays, it was now almost technically spring and the sun was rising earlier every day. Spring was slow to come in Alaska with the snow lingering well into May some years. She watched a snowshoe hare bound across the snow in front of the deck at the foot of the ski slopes. The hare covered the distance swiftly and paused by the corner of the deck to nibble on a few shoots of green coming up through the snow.

A magpie burst out of the nearby trees and swooped down over the hare, chattering madly. As the magpie flew to land on the deck, the sun crested from behind the mountains, its rays catching on the iridescent wings. Delia grinned as the magpie meandered along the deck, curiously inspecting a pair of skis left by the railing. Garrett wandered through her thoughts. It had been almost a month since he’d left now. He still called every day, but his texts were less frequent. She was worried her fears were coming to fruition. Garrett was back in Seattle and the pulsing beats of emotion and desire she’d felt with him were probably nothing more than a distant memory to him. She took a breath, letting it out slowly. She should appreciate what she’d had with him, even if it faded with time. Garrett had reminded her she could experience passion and more.

She turned away and shut thoughts of Garrett out of her mind. The main door to the lodge opened and seconds later Harry walked into the restaurant. Delia got to work with him, helping get all the tables ready for the morning crowd as wait staff arrived over the next few minutes. Before she knew it, the restaurant was almost full with guests filling up on breakfast before heading up on the slopes. The bustle kept Delia’s mind focused throughout the day.

Marley stopped by Delia’s office late that afternoon. “Hey there,” Marley said, her auburn hair swishing in its ponytail as she leaned her head around the door.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

Marley shrugged, but her eyes held a gleam. “What?” Delia asked.

Marley stepped into her office and closed the door. “I’m pregnant,” she whispered with a wide smile.

Delia stood and stepped around the desk, squeezing Marley in a quick hug. “Congratulations! This is so exciting!” She took a step back, her eyes coasting over Marley. “You can’t be too far along because you’re definitely not showing.”

Marley kept grinning. “Hardly at all. I can’t believe I’m telling anyone, but I have to say something. I missed my period this month and took a pregnancy test this morning.”

Delia chuckled. “Have you even told Gage?”

Marley nodded quickly. “He’s ecstatic.” She sat down with a satisfied sigh on the small couch in Delia’s office.

Delia couldn’t help but remember that damn couch held a memory with Garrett that made her blush. She shoved the memory away and focused on Marley. When she’d gotten pregnant, she hadn’t had the chance to share the joy with anyone. Though she’d never questioned her choice to have Nick, her pregnancy had been unplanned and unwelcome as far as Nick’s father was concerned. A bitter twist in her heart caused her throat to tighten. She’d had so much hope for a chance with Garrett, and now it felt like it was slipping away. She shook her head sharply and brought her mind to the moment. Marley chattered on about planning. After a few minutes, Marley angled her head to the side and eyed Delia.

“Are you okay?” Marley asked.

Delia nodded quickly. “I’m fine.”

“Fine? Uh oh. That usually means you’re not fine. What’s going on?”

Delia twisted a lock of hair around her finger and chewed her lip. “I think something’s up with Garrett.”

“What do you mean? Gage hasn’t mentioned anything.”

“Just that he’s being vague about when he might be back and not really talking about his plans. He still calls every day, but it feels like he’s not sure. I don’t know if he ever was. Everything happened so fast. Maybe he confused lust with something more.”

Marley slid across the couch and squeezed Delia’s shoulders. “Don’t go there. It won’t help. Maybe you should ask him before you make assumptions like this.”

Delia heard Marley’s words, but it was hard to not make assumptions. She could feel the distance growing between her and Garrett—literally and metaphorically. She thought back to the afternoon before he’d left when she’d impulsively told him she thought she was falling in love with him. He’d looked frozen. At the time, she’d tried to tell herself it was just because she startled him. Now all she could think was that her silly heart got a little too hopeful. Delia fought the tears clogging her throat. “I’ll try to ask him.”

Chapter 22

Garrett glanced at his watch and pushed away from his desk. It was going on ten at night, and he was still at the office. Elaine had left hours ago. He knew from the muted sounds that a few other attorneys were still here as well. There was an unhealthy pride among corporate attorneys about the grueling hours they put in at the office. The relentless pace was expected by most clients and rewarded by hefty fees. He suddenly realized he hadn’t called Delia yet today. He snagged his phone off the desk and tapped her name. When she answered, her voice sounded tired. His heart clenched with worry and something else he couldn’t define.

“Hey babe, how’s your day been?”

“Busy. How about you?”

“Same, same.”

The conversation continued lightly until Delia paused for a long beat.

“Can I ask you something?” she asked.

Garrett’s stomach coiled with tension. He didn’t even know where this was going, but it didn’t feel good. “Of course.”

“Now you’re back in Seattle, how are you feeling about us?”

Anxiety knotted in his chest. He forced himself to take a deep breath. “Good. I know it’s been busy for me, but I’m sorting things out here so I can get back to you soon.”

“But what does that mean? You said you wanted to give us a chance, but it doesn’t seem like you have any concrete plans. I don’t even know if you really want to make this work.”

“Delia…”

“Garrett, I can’t wait for something this vague. It felt real when you were here, but now it seems like you’re not sure.” Her words sped up as she talked, tightening the coil of dread inside of him. “I think we need to take a break until you know what you really want.”

“Delia, please…”

“Garrett, be honest with me. You haven’t even mentioned coming here for a visit, or asked me about coming down there. You don’t seem to have any idea of when you’ll be coming back. When will I even see you again?”

Her question felt like a punch to his gut. His mind spun. He felt out of control, inside and out. Delia was pushing him, and he didn’t know how to respond. He opened his mouth, but no words came out. A sense of panic spiraled inside. He closed his eyes and took a breath. He meant to tell her he wanted to see her as soon as he could, but what he said instead was… “How about I check my calendar and see if I can get up there next weekend?”

He heard the sharp intake of Delia’s breath. “You need to check your schedule?”

“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I meant…”
“Don’t bother. I can’t do this.”

He heard her words catch on a sob before the line clicked to silent in his ear. He immediately hit redial, but the phone range and rang.

He paced in his apartment hours later. Usually, he would savor a drink after a late night at the office. Tonight, nothing settled him. He’d tried several more times to reach Delia to no avail.

***

Delia forced herself to try to get back into the normal rhythms of her life before Garrett had upended it. She ferried Nick to his baseball practices and stayed busy with work. Marley had tried to talk to her about Garrett, but she’d waved her off. Her father’s concerned glances annoyed her. A bright light through the gloom of her life came from Helen’s efforts to build a relationship with Nick. Helen was gracious and respectful about checking in ahead of time before she came down for visits. Much to Delia’s relief, Helen never mentioned Terry. She seemed to sincerely only want a chance to get to know her grandson. Nick soaked up her attention. Her presence in their lives, though it was occasional since she lived in Anchorage, elicited new questions from Nick about his father. Delia used the phrases she’d memorized to give him clear answers about the situation without creating false hope. The sad truth was that witnessing Nick’s wish for a father rubbed at the raw absence of Garrett in her heart.

One morning she headed into Misty Mountain for coffee. Seated at a table by the windows, she pulled out her laptop and started working on monthly reports. She was deep in the middle of entering data when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She glanced up to find Ginger grinning at her.

“Hey you!” Ginger said with a quick squeeze of Delia’s shoulder before she plunked down in the empty chair across from her.

Delia saved what she was working on and closed her laptop. “Hey you too!” She tried to feel cheerful, but it was hard to sustain. Ever since she’d broken it off with Garrett, her emotions felt muted.

Ginger’s gaze sobered. She set her coffee down and leaned her elbows on the table. “Marley says you called it off with Garrett.”

“So what if I did?”

Ginger sighed dramatically and sat back in her chair. “You did exactly what I was worried about.”

“What do you mean?”

“You let your tendency to worry make your decisions for you.”

“Ginger, I didn’t break it off without trying to talk to Garrett first. I asked him when he planned to see me again, and he said he had to check his calendar! I can’t sit around waiting for someone who needs to schedule me into his life.” Her heart thumped painfully, but she forced herself to breathe. It had been a few days, so the sharpness of the pain was dulling to an ache that didn’t seem inclined to go away anytime soon.

Ginger’s brows hitched up and her eyes widened. She shook her head, her glossy brown hair swinging around her shoulders. “Okay, that bites. He really said that?”

Delia nodded and took a swallow of coffee.

Ginger sighed. “Why do men have to be so reliably stupid sometimes?”

Delia shrugged. “Wish I knew. I told him not to bother. Maybe I did let my worries lead the way, but I can’t get hung up on someone who’s getting cold feet. Our worlds are pretty different. Diamond Creek’s a far cry from Seattle. Maybe he got back and realized he missed it. I don’t know.”

“Marley’s all worried about you. It sounds like Gage might have talked to Garrett, but he doesn’t have any more to add. Dammit. This sucks. If he does show back up around here, he’ll be hearing about this bullshit from me.”

Delia managed a smile through the tightness in her chest. Ginger was that kind of friend. She wouldn’t hesitate to publicly humiliate anyone who hurt her friends.

“If he ever comes back here, I’m sure you’ll get the chance.”

Ginger pursed her lips and started to say something and stopped.

“What?”

“Oh, I was about to rant on Garrett, but I know from experience that doesn’t usually help. All I can say is he didn’t give me the feeling he was a jerk, so maybe he just needs a little time.”

A while later, Delia drove up to the lodge, thoughts of Garrett intruding in her mind even though she tried to push them away. She missed him on a visceral level. But she had to find a way to move on. If Garrett had taught her one thing, it was that her youthful fantasies about love were lightweight to what it truly felt like to love and lose someone.

***

Garrett stared blindly out his office window. The gray, misty Seattle weather suited his mood perfectly. He kept replaying his last call with Delia in his mind.
“You need to check your schedule?”
Her question echoed over and over. He mentally kicked himself again and again. He prided himself on being cool and calm under pressure. Every word he said was usually deliberate and considered before it came out of his mouth. Delia, or rather the way he felt about her, short-circuited his brain and turned on the stupid.

There was a sharp knock at his door. He swiveled around in his chair.