Love At Last (Lily's Story, Book 3) (22 page)

I walked him to his car and we stopped next to his door. The warm sun flowed over me and I smiled at him.

He reached out and stroked my arm, his gaze meeting mine. “Remember, Lily. It’s up to you.”

I felt my heart skip a beat and knew he was referring to where our relationship was going to go. Where did I want our relationship to go? I was no closer to an answer than I’d been on the cruise. I gazed at him, my eyes drifting to his lips, which turned up into a smile.
 

With Natalie on my left hip, I wasn’t in the best position to pull him into a kiss, but after a moment I reached my right arm toward him. He obviously understood what I was trying to do, because he leaned toward me. I’d only meant to give him a quick kiss on the lips, but as soon as our mouths touched, he pulled me close—Natalie and all—and our kiss deepened.
 

Desire swept over me, making me breathless, and I felt the same panic I’d felt on the cruise beginning to engulf me. Forcing it down, I allowed myself to become lost in the moment. It felt so good to be
wanted
, even if it was by the wrong man. My eyes shot open at the thought. Did I really believe Cameron was the wrong man for me? And if I did, what was I doing here, standing in my driveway, kissing him?

Pushing those thoughts to the side, I closed my eyes and focused on Cameron and the fact that he was a good man, a man recommended by Alyssa, whom I trusted completely. When I stopped analyzing everything and second guessing myself, I was able to enjoy the warmth of his embrace and the security I felt in his strong arms. It seemed obvious enough that he really liked me, and I relished the feeling.

A moment later he released me, a sparkle in his blue eyes.

I gazed at him, wanting to make this work. “Are you sure you need to leave?”

He smiled, like he knew the effect he had on me, then nodded. “I do. I promised a friend I’d help him move.”

I felt my insides flutter. He was helping a
male
friend. With a grin, I said, “What is it with you and people who are moving?”

He laughed. “I know, right? I don’t know how I let people drag me into their moving dramas.”

I smiled back. “Well, hopefully mine won’t be a drama.”

He paused. “I’ll see you in a week.”

“I look forward to it.” And despite thoughts of Marcus, I really was looking forward to spending time with Cameron. Maybe it was the kiss we’d just shared and the feelings he evoked in me, but I hoped there
could
be a future for us. I just had to open my heart to him and push all thoughts of Marcus aside.

A moment later Cameron climbed into his car and drove away.

That evening, Alyssa called.

“How are the newlyweds?” I asked, pleased to hear from her.

“We’re great. But what I want to know is, what’s going on with you and Cameron? Have you heard from him since you got home?”

I smiled. “Yes. In fact he came over today and went with me to look at houses.”

“Really? That’s fantastic.” She paused. “So you like him?”

My smile dimmed slightly. “I think so.”

“What do you mean, you think so? Why wouldn’t you? Like I keep telling you, he’s a great guy.”

“I know. And I think he’s great too. It’s just that . . . well . . . I told you about Marcus, right?”

“Yes.”

“I really like him.” I stared at the wall across from me.

Alyssa sighed. “No offense, Lily, but I don’t know this Marcus person, but I do know Cameron. So I’m on team Cameron.”

I laughed. “So we have teams now?”

She laughed in response. “Yes, we do.”

“Oh, Alyssa. I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“Marcus is so good with Natalie, and he’s been there for me. And, well, I just really, really like him. But when I told him how I felt, he brushed me off. And now he’s dating some woman he works with.” I paused, gathering my thoughts.

“And what about Cameron?”

“That’s where I’m confused. I know he likes me—he’s told me as much—and he’s so sweet, letting me set the pace, but I just don’t feel as strongly toward him as I do toward Marcus. And, well, he doesn’t seem as interested in Natalie as Marcus is.”

Alyssa was silent for a moment. “Look, you can’t blow him off because he’s hesitant around Natalie. I don’t think he has any experience with babies, so you need to cut him some slack there.” She paused. “You just need to focus on who makes you happy.”

I nodded. “I know.” Then in a near whisper. “I know.”

“And, Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“Just be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt. You’ve been through enough.”

I could hear the sincerity in her voice. “I will.”

We said our good-byes and I set the phone down. Greta pressed her nose into my hand and I scratched her head. “What do you think, girl? Who do you like better?” I watched her face, but she had no answers for me.

I rested my head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling, thinking about the two men in my life. But was Marcus really “in my life”? He was a friend, there was no doubt of that, but when I’d told him how I felt, he’d shot me down. And now he was dating Chelsea.
 

If being more than friends with Marcus wasn’t a possibility, what would I do? Trying to be honest with myself, I considered the options. I could allow the relationship with Cameron to develop and see where it led. Or, I could end it with Cameron and just allow myself to be happy with my role of friend in Marcus’s life.

But would I be happy in that role? I shook my head. No, I would definitely want more. Especially if he was the only man in my life. So, I thought, my stomach churning, if he has no interest beyond friendship, maybe it’s time to start backing away from him. How else can I protect myself from being hurt? The more time I spend with him, the more I love him, and the more I open my heart up to being hurt.

Yes, I thought. I need to erect barriers between Marcus and my heart.

The next evening after I put Natalie to bed, I heard a knock on my door. I looked through the peephole and saw Marcus standing on the porch. At first I smiled at the unexpected visit, but my smile quickly turned into a frown as I remembered my decision the night before. Putting a friendly smile on my face, I opened the door.

“Hey, Lily,” he said, his face open and sincere. “How are you?”

“Good.”

He motioned toward his parent’s house next door. “I just had dinner with my parents and thought I’d stop by to see how your house hunt is going.”

I felt silly just talking to him at the door. “Do you want to come in?”

“Sure.”

He followed me into the living room and we sat on opposite ends of the couch.

“Is Russell showing you many houses?”

“Yes. He took me to a number of places yesterday.” I left off the fact that Cameron had come along.

“Great. Did you find anything that looks promising?”

“Not yet.”

“Well, I’m sure there’s something out there that will be perfect for you and Natalie.” He paused. “When are you going to look again?”

“Russell said he’d line some places up for tomorrow afternoon.”

“Perhaps I could come along. You know, give a second opinion.”

I hesitated, but felt my earlier resolve to create distance between us slipping.

Obviously noticing my hesitation, he said, “But if you’d prefer to go on your own, I understand.”

Quickly shaking my head, I said, “No. I’d like it if you came along.”

He tilted his head to one side. “Are you sure?”

Feeling slightly ridiculous now for even considering putting distance between us, I nodded. “Yes.” Then my eyebrows drew together. “But what about work?”

“I’ve been putting in a lot of late nights. I’m sure I can leave a little early for a change.”

Renewed excitement about my search flooded me, and I smiled. “Great.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

The next afternoon Marcus arrived at my house right on time and I opened the door. “I just need to get Natalie and we can go.”

“Let me help,” he said.

“Thanks.”
 

I watched as he walked into the living room, where Natalie was playing on a blanket on the floor. He scooped her up and held her in front of him, then gently rocked her in the air, sending her into a fit of giggles.

My heart swelled with love for him as I watched him interact with my daughter.
Why can’t Cameron be so natural with her?
Frowning at myself for comparing the two men, I pushed thoughts of Cameron aside and decided to just enjoy being with Marcus, even though I was certain I would feel sad later.

He turned toward me. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

We walked out to my car together and he fastened Natalie into her car seat.

“I hope Russell has some good places to show me today. I’ve only been looking for a few days and already I’m stressed.”

He turned to me and smiled. “You’ll find the right place for the two of you.”

I gazed into his incredible green eyes and forced myself to focus on what he was saying. “I know. I’d just like it if it happened today.”

He nodded. “Hey, do you want me to drive? Then you can focus on looking at the neighborhoods we drive through.”

“Great idea.” I handed him my keys, then began walking to the passenger door.

“Hold on a sec, Lily.” He walked past me and opened the passenger door, holding it for me while I got in.

He closed it once I was in my seat, and I watched him through the windshield as he walked back to the driver’s side and climbed in.
Why does he have to be so wonderful?

He glanced at me, a smile on his face, then put the key in the ignition and started the car. I was silent as we drove to the first house, my thoughts in a jumble. One part of me thought about the house hunt and what I would see that day. Another part of me couldn’t stop thinking about Marcus and how much I loved having him sitting so close to me. I allowed myself to fantasize about us being a family, going on a drive—just me, my perfect husband, and our daughter.

“We’re here,” Marcus said as we pulled up to a house.

I felt my face flush, as if he knew what I’d been thinking, but I looked toward the house, my face averted from him, so he couldn’t see my embarrassment.

“It has good curb appeal,” he said as he turned off the car.

I nodded.

“There’s Russell,” he said.

I saw Russell’s car pull into the driveway and I reached for the door handle.

“Let me get that, Lily,” Marcus said.

I turned to him, a smile on my face. “I appreciate you being such a gentleman, but we’re going to be getting in and out of the car quite a bit today. Maybe you should let me do this myself?”

He grinned. “Yeah, I suppose that makes sense.” He paused. “I’ll get Natalie out.”

“Thanks.” I climbed out of the car and watched him gently extricate Natalie from the straps of her car seat, then hold her against his shoulder. For a moment I envied the closeness to Marcus that my daughter enjoyed.

“Hey there, Marcus,” Russell said as he walked toward us. “What a nice surprise to see you.”

They shook hands, then Russell turned to me and started giving me the stats on the house. We all walked into the house and looked through the rooms.

“What do you think, Lily?” Russell asked when we’d gone back out front.

“It’s okay. It looks like it’s in good shape, but it’s a little small.” I glanced at Marcus before looking back at Russell. “I know it’s just Natalie and me, but whatever I end up buying, I plan on staying in for a long time. And I hope to expand my family one day.”

“Sure,” Russell said. “I understand. I have another place I want to show you that I’d like you to consider.”

“Okay.”

He gave us the address and we all climbed into the cars and drove to the house. As we pulled up, I immediately noticed that the front yard needed some work, but the house looked larger than the last place. We got out of the car and Russell met us on the driveway.

“Now, you need to keep an open mind,” he said to me.

I didn’t like the sound of that. He told me how much the seller was asking and it sounded like a good deal for the amount of square footage. “What’s the catch?” I asked.

He smiled. “It needs a little work.”

I groaned. “I told you I can’t afford to hire anyone to fix a place up.”

“Let’s go inside and have a look around, okay?”

“Well, I’m here, so I might as well.” I glanced at Marcus, who was holding Natalie, but he didn’t say anything. A moment later we all walked into the house. A small entry opened up into a comfortable family room. Stains dotted the carpet, but I knew that could be changed out. A wood-burning fireplace was nestled in the corner, and a large sliding glass door led out to the backyard.

Russell slid open the door, and we walked out onto a large, covered concrete patio. My gaze went from side to side, taking in the large, weedy yard.

“It definitely needs some work, but it’s a good size,” I said. “Lots of room for Greta to run around.” We went back inside and into the eat-in kitchen. “There’s plenty of cupboards and counter space.” I looked at the floor. “The vinyl floor looks a little beat up, so I’d want to put in tile, but it’s workable.” I turned to Russell, a feeling of home washing over me. “I’m glad you brought me here.”

He smiled, clearly pleased with himself. “I thought you might like it.” He pointed back to the entry. “There’s a good-size living room off of the entry.”

We walked back to the entry and into the living room. Again, the carpet needed to be replaced, but the room was spacious, with a picture window looking out over the front yard. “I like it.” My gaze took in the walls. “I’d want to paint, but I can do that.” I glanced at Marcus and smiled. He smiled back as if he could sense my excitement. My gaze went to Natalie, held securely in his arms, and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. Not sure what that meant, I tucked it away for later evaluation, and followed Russell to the hallway, which led to the bedrooms.

“There are three bedrooms, including the master, but they’re all a pretty good size,” he said. “Plus there are two full bathrooms, and one of them is part of the master.”