Love at Stake (18 page)

That brought a smile to her face. “You’re pursuing this because you want to settle down and no one matches you as high as I do.”

“Maybe.” He tucked his arm snugly around her waist. “But it’s more than that. I think of a future with you, and I see the life we could have. White picket fence, 2.5 kids, the fairy tale—we could have it all.”

“What about love?” She looked up into his amber eyes.

“I told you. The mating bond isn’t always explosive. Sometimes it grows more slowly, but that doesn’t mean the connection is any less real. You’ll grow to love me.”

“I love Lucian now.” Abbey knew the words were cruel, but he needed to understand. This wasn’t some girlish crush to disappear just because she wished it to.

His expression darkened but all he said was, “You won’t always. And when you realize that, I want to be the one by your side.”

Right words, wrong man. She closed her eyes as her heart bled a little more. Part of her longed to take what Christian was offering. To jump in blindly and let him be her distraction.

What sort of horrible woman was she?

“Both you and Lucian talk about mates and destiny and the implications of being supernatural, but have you ever really thought about the implications of my being human?”

He blinked. “Of course. When the time comes, we will find a suitable method for transformation.”

“And if I don’t want it?” she asked. “What if I like being exactly as I am?”

His eyes darted to the left and she knew she’d caught him by surprise. “But…why?”

And there it was, the reason she couldn’t be with Christian and, most likely, could never be with Lucian either. Even if he wanted her.

“You see what I am as inferior,” she said. “You want to change something that is an essential part of me because it doesn’t match the mate you want. I’m not saying I’d never consider being supernatural if there was a good reason, but I’m saying I wouldn’t do it because it’s better than what I am now.”

“You’d be stronger. Faster. Immortal.”

“Being slow lets me smell the flowers,” she said. “Being weak helps me rely on others when I need them. Being mortal makes everything I do that much more precious because I only get one shot at doing it right.” She cupped his beautiful face. “Listen to me, Christian. I’m not saying no because I love Lucian. I’m saying no because I’m not really the woman you need. We don’t understand each other or value each other the way mates should.”

“We could learn.”

She smiled sadly, wishing she believed him. “Your mate is waiting out there,” she promised. “And when you find her, a 96 percent rating or 47 percent rating won’t make the least bit of difference. She’ll be yours and you won’t have to convince her to be with you based on someday growing to love each other. You’ll love her right away and you’ll know everything I’ve said here tonight is true.”

“It could be centuries,” he said.

“Or it could be tomorrow. Do you really want to be committed to me when she walks into your life?”

He sighed. “You might be right. But now, I’m here with you and what we have”—he pulled her up against his hard body—“is real.”

The heat of his skin permeated her clothes. She inhaled the familiar scent of pine and earth and weakened a little bit.

“We might not have forever but we can have the present,” he whispered, rolling his hips against hers. “I can make you forget your hurt. I can show you joy.”

She leaned her head against his chest, wanting to say yes. It felt so good to have his strong arms around her. So good to have a man look at her with desire in his eyes and know he valued her for more than her body.

But he wasn’t the one she loved, and while rebound sex might sound good in theory, she knew the regret would crush her in the morning.

“I’d be using you,” she whispered against his warm skin.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“But you should.” Abbey pressed a light kiss to his collarbone before stepping free from his arms. “Thank you for coming for me, Christian, but this is as far as we go.”

“Because of the vampire?”

She saw the fire leap into his eyes and shook her head. “Lucian is out of my life. This time, it’s about you and me. We will never happen, Christian, as much as I might want us to. We’re just not the right fit for each other. Even for a night.”

For a moment, he said nothing. Abbey waited, not uncomfortable with the silence. She knew when he walked out the door this time, he was going for good.

“I wish I could have convinced you,” he said at last.

A rusty chuckle escaped her. “Me too. But you know I’m right.”

“Infuriating human wisdom.”

“Something like that.”

He sighed in acceptance. “All right. You win.”

“Thank you.”

“At least give me a kiss good-bye, honey, and I’ll leave you in peace.”

She stepped back into his arms without hesitation. When his lips touched hers this time, there was no swarming passion. Instead his kiss was kind but brief. The kiss of a friend, not a lover.

It would have been the perfect good-bye if not for her front door exploding open.

Christian swept her behind him with one arm as claws elongated from his fingertips. A growl so inhuman it raised the hairs on her nape escaped him.

The man who stepped from the hallway was the last person she expected to see.

Lucian stared at the wolf with murder in his red eyes. He bared his fangs in a vicious hiss and moved to launch himself at Christian.

“Stop,” Abbey cried, ducking around Christian. “Lucian, if you spill blood on my carpet, I will hunt you down.”

The vampire blinked, his unnerving gaze focusing on her. “What is he doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Christian snapped.

“Stop it, both of you.” She grabbed Christian’s arm and tugged him back, not missing the way Lucian’s gaze turned an even brighter ruby.

“Christian, go,” she said.

He squeezed her hand. “I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I’m not your responsibility, remember? You need to leave. I can handle this, I swear. Please.”

He glanced back at Lucian, clearly torn.

“Christian,” she said. “Leave.”

He exhaled. “If you need me—”

“I’ll call. I promise.” She returned his reassuring hand squeeze. “Thank you.”

His smile was strained and vanished completely when he looked at Lucian. “If you hurt her, I’ll stake you in your sleep.”

The vampire looked affronted. “Abbey will always be safe in my care.”

Physically, maybe
, she thought with bitterness.

Christian snorted, mirroring her own black humor. He ignored Lucian and leaned in close to kiss her cheek. “Be well, honey.”

“And you,” she said.

With a last growl at Lucian, Christian stalked from the apartment.

Neither Abbey nor Lucian moved.

Her broken heart drank in the sight of him, noting the wildness in his eyes. For once, he didn’t look impeccable. She could have sworn his designer duds were wrinkled as if he’d slept in them. His hair was mussed and not his usual perfect coif.

A malicious part of her hoped their separation had been as hard on him as it had been on her. After all, he’d put them here.

But as soon as the vicious wish trickled through her mind, she knew it was nonsense. No one shook the unflappable Lucian Redgrave. Certainly not a human.

“What are you doing here?” she asked harshly.

“I came for you.”

Two men had said the same words to her within the hour. Must be something in the water today. That or she’d gone off the deep end.

“Right,” she said, unimpressed. “I know exactly what happened. You realized you couldn’t live without me and spent days agonizing over the fact that I’m weak and human. But eventually you came to terms with our reality and raced over here to win me back.”

Disdain dripped from her words but he didn’t flinch.

“Yes,” he said simply.

Abbey blinked. “What?”

He gently shut the door before approaching her. His movements were easy and slow, the way one came toward an animal they were afraid would bolt.

“But I’d like to modify your explanation a touch.” His eyes held hers as he moved steadily closer. “I did spend days battling indecision but not because I saw you as lesser in any way. At first I told myself I couldn’t be with you because having a human mate placed you in too great a danger. I never want to see you hurt because of me.”

“Bullshit,” she snapped.

He arched a brow at her language but nodded. “I agree. I was taking your choices away. Ones I had no right to make for you. Every time you needed to step up, you did. It didn’t bother you that we were so different. The differences in our species, our ages, our lives didn’t hold you back as they did me.”

“Bully for me. Now get the hell out of my apartment.”

“You want to hear what I say next.”

“I’ve heard it all before,” she said. “This is where you promise me a limited affair because you can’t get me out of your mind. Well, too bad. I’m not looking for temporary.”

“Neither am I.”

The comeback she’d been preparing died on her tongue. In fact, his words took all the wind from her sails. Surely she’d heard him wrong.

“Nine hundred–plus years and I’ve never been in love,” he said. “Not until you.”

The breath froze in her chest. Her heart pounded so loudly, she wondered if she’d misheard the words searing into her brain.

“Centuries I waited for you,” he said, his gaze never leaving hers. “And when I finally found you, I was unprepared.” He tunneled his fingers through his hair in a rare telling movement. “You turned my world upside-down and I didn’t like it. I had a well-ordered existence and now it feels empty. I look at my apartment and all I see is that damn red pillow you bought. And I want more.”

“Hire a decorator.”

He shook his head ruefully. “I’m afraid I’m addicted to a color only you can provide.”

“My color is not up for grabs anymore.”

“I can’t believe that’s true,” he said.

Her lip curled in a sneer. “Because a human like me should fall at your feet the second you snap your fingers.”

“No.” His eyes were soft and oh so gentle when he looked at her. “Because you love me. Completely. And when you love like that, mortal or immortal, it’s forever.”

Pain stabbed through her. How unfair of him to know that. He had all the weapons in this drama and there was no way he’d let her escape without using them. She couldn’t deny her feelings without making herself a liar.

Last time she’d seen him, he’d shattered her heart into a million pieces. She couldn’t survive the pain twice. “Love?” she scoffed. “Maybe I was once naive enough to believe that such an emotion would make a difference in our story, but I’m not anymore. You don’t know what love is and I’m sure I’ll get over my misguided sentiment with time.”

“You won’t,” he said, sounding infuriatingly sure. “And I do know what love is.”

She knew her expression said plainly she didn’t believe him.

“When I met Claudette,” Lucian said, pain flashing through his eyes, “I was lonely and isolated. She pulled me back into the world and I adored her for it. I will be forever thankful to her for bringing Melissa into my life.”

“But?”

“But what I felt for her doesn’t even compare to what I feel for you.”

She inhaled. Surely it couldn’t be true. Claudette was everything to him.

“She was my friend,” he continued. “My only friend. But I didn’t see her the way she needed me to.”

“I don’t understand.”

A bittersweet smile lit his face. “She accused me of never really loving her because I couldn’t get past her humanity. I didn’t understand it.”

“She was right.” Abbey thought of the words she’d said to Christian and knew it was true of Lucian, too. She wasn’t going to change who she was just because he couldn’t handle her as a human.

“Yes,” he said. “I did see humans as inferior.”

She’d known, of course, but hearing the words was like a dagger into her bruised heart. It robbed her of breath and made her stumble back as if it’d been a physical blow.

“Why did you come here to say this? Why couldn’t you have just stayed away?”

He surged forward, catching her hands even when she tried to pull back. “Listen,” he said. “I didn’t appreciate humans until I met you. You made me see the abilities mortals have, the passions and failures they feel so deeply. Through your eyes, I saw the power of mortality. Frail, dying, and yet more alive than I’ve been in hundreds of years. You battered my misconceptions until one day I looked at you and all I saw was perfection.” His hands tightened on hers. “How could I deride a race that created my fated match?”

The words froze her. They were so much more than she’d dreamed of but so much less than she could believe.

“Your mate could never be human.” She whispered the words everyone had been telling her for weeks.

“Too bad,” he replied. “Because she is. Beautifully, perfectly human.”

Abbey didn’t tug her hands away, but she couldn’t meet his eyes either. If she started to believe him, even for a second, she’d be crushed far worse than she had been. She needed to be strong and protect her heart from a man who hadn’t cared if he trampled it only days before.

“Never trust a vampire,” she murmured.

She felt his lips brush a gentle kiss against her hair. “I will spend eternity making this mistake up to you. I promise. But you need to give me a chance to make it right.”

“No.”

His mouth planted featherlight kisses along her cheek. “You are it for me, Abbey. And I am for you. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“I’ll find someone else. Someone human.”

“You won’t. And we will spend our lifetimes in misery. Wouldn’t you rather spend it in my arms?”

Yes.
“I wasn’t enough for you. Too mortal and breakable for you to be with. You didn’t want to stay with me when we started this relationship.”

Without hesitation, Lucian dropped to his knees and took her hand. He pressed a searing kiss to her palm before whispering, “Forgive me.”

Abbey closed her eyes. He wasn’t wrong. She’d spend the rest of her life dreaming of him. And here he was. Her proud vampire lord on his knees in the middle of her living room.