Love Collides (Fate's Love #3) (14 page)

“Wha-what is all of this?” I asked a little shell-shocked.

Dating was one thing, but
this
, this was something else. This was intimate and heartfelt and beautiful. It was as if Kade had dressed his apartment up in his feelings for me.

“Liv might have let it slip that it’s your birthday over the holidays. I wanted to celebrate with you.”

My mouth dropped open. I had nothing.

“You haven’t bolted yet.” Kade’s eyes darted to the door behind me. “So I’ll take that as a good sign.”

My head nodded, but I still couldn’t find any words.

Luck was on my side because a timer started beeping from the kitchen and Kade left me standing there—mouth hanging open—while he went to attend to dinner.

“Food’s up in ten, so you might want to grab a drink and make yourself comfortable.”

“Okay.” My voice cracked as I dropped into one of the seats.

I watched Kade move around the kitchen with ease. The guy had been holding out on me. He could cook, and I wondered if it was a talent passed on from Jess. They both looked completely at home stirring the pot and tasting their creations.

My stomach rumbled and I tore off a piece of bread and popped it into my mouth.

“I heard that.” Kade laughed over his shoulder, and I looked around me again, unable to comprehend the effort he’d put into tonight.

Was this really happening?

Because it was a side to Kade I’d never seen, and yet a side I figured he’d only ever shown to me.

The thought left me breathless.

~ Kade ~

The plan had been dinner and dessert—with Staci being dessert. But sitting across from her, it felt like I should say something, anything, to acknowledge that she was leaving in less than forty-eight hours.

Goodbyes weren’t something I had much experience with. People came and went in my life—friends, relatives—but none would leave a hole the way Staci would. And she hadn’t even left yet.

I think part of me expected her not to come back. I was still waiting for her to shake herself out of it and realize this wasn’t what she wanted. But over the last week, she’d become more and more at ease around me. And the ties between us were growing tighter—for me, anyway.

“You’re looking at me funny. Do I have something in my teeth?” Staci bared her teeth to me, swiping her tongue across them.

“No, there’s nothing in your teeth. I’m just admiring the view.”

“You do that a lot,” she said casually. As if the fact she knew I watched her a lot was normal.

“I do not.”

“You do. You think I can’t see you, or that I’m not looking. But I feel you.”

“Bullshit.”

Staci dropped her napkin on the plate and held her hands up. “Guess only I’ll ever know.”

I collected up the empty dishes and left them in the sink. Washing could wait. Time was ticking by too quickly, and my gut was telling me to make the most of tonight because I had a feeling Staci wouldn’t be the kind to do grand goodbyes.

Ignoring her protests, I looped my arms under her legs and waist and lifted her off the chair.

“Put me down. This is ridiculous. I can walk, Ford. Put me down.” Her hands beat against my chest, but I stalked forward to my room.

Staci landed on my bed with a bounce and glared up at me. “Do you want me to puke all over your bed?”

I didn’t reply. Words were backing up in my throat. Choking me.

I had so much I wanted to say.

“Stay.” The single word found its way out, rolling off my tongue.

“Kade, seriously? We did this already. I have to go. It’s three weeks. It’s not like it’s forever. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Will you?”

Fucker,
I cursed myself.

Staci scooted to the end of the bed and beckoned me to her. I went willing, dropping to my knees in front of her.

“I’ll be back January fourth. It’ll fly by, you’ll see.”

“January fourth.” I hooked my pinky finger around hers, holding them in front of our faces. “I’ll hold you to that.”

She smiled, looking at our entwined fingers.

“I can wait. I lo- umm, I look forward to it.”

The words almost tumbled out.
I love you.
In my head, I told Staci that all the time. But saying them out loud would change everything. She wasn’t ready to hear it.

“You look forward to it?” Staci eyed me with suspicion.

“Yeah, you know, seeing you again. I look forward to seeing you again. After we say goodbye and you go away and come back.”

A laugh bubbled up in Staci, but she swallowed it down. “I look forward to it as well,
friend
.”

“I thought we were over the whole friend thing?”

“We are.” She shrugged, a hint of a smile on her lips.

~ Staci ~

I left Kade’s early to get a head start on finishing my packing. Kade was still sleeping. The morning was cold, the weather was starting to turn, and I hugged my jacket closer to my body.

“Staci, wait up,” a gravelly voice called from behind me.

I turned around to come face to face with Mikey. His red-rimmed eyes were sunken against his pale skin. He looked awful, and I went on high alert, remembering Joel’s warning.

“What do you want, Mikey?” I said with almost a growl.

His mouth twitched, and his eyes blinked into focus. In fact, his whole body seemed to be twitching or shivering. He looked like he was in some kind of withdrawal, and I stepped back, putting more distance between us.

“I just want to talk. Please. Just five minutes.”

Five minutes…Nine years ago, I would have given my soul for five minutes with the guy who shattered my heart into pieces. He didn’t deserve it after all of this time, but maybe the young girl in me was stronger than I ever gave her credit for.

I glanced around us, checking for familiar faces. “Five minutes, but that’s all you’re getting.”

My cell vibrated in my purse. Usually, it would have put a smile on my face. But all contentment I’d felt only minutes earlier had been replaced with dread. Even if it was most likely Kade texting after finding my side of his bed empty.

“Is that him?” Mikey’s voice hissed.

“Excuse me?” I straightened refusing to let him intimidate me.

“The tall guy you’re fucking? You are fucking him, right? Little whore.”

I bristled and stepped forward into Mikey’s space. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I came all this way to see you, to smooth things over, only to find you fucking some guy.”

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” I said more to myself than him.

I realized then that Mikey was sicker than Joel knew. He was completely deluded.

“Mikey, there is no us to smooth over.”

“No us,” he barked, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket. “No us? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s always been about us. Everything is about us.”

My chest cracked. All these years and a tiny part of me still felt something for the first guy—the only guy—I’d ever loved. Mikey was a mess, not even resembling the boy who made my lonely world seem full. It was as if I were looking at a complete stranger.

“Mikey, you should go. This, us, was over a long time ago.” I tried to sound calm, compassionate even. But Mikey’s eyes flared with anger.

“You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Get Mikey out of the picture and then screw around with anything with a dick. Just because I was out of the state doesn’t mean I didn’t hear about how you whored it around with half of Kaplan.”

What the…?

The thin tether of my patience snapped, and I lunged forward, throwing my hands at Mikey’s chest. “What the fuck? Listen to yourself. You left me. YOU. LEFT. ME. Just like that. Gone. And you come here, disrupting my life, ten years later, and try to blame me? I don’t care if you have problems or issues or a fucking death sentence… you broke me and you have no fucking idea how much. Get the hell away from me! I hate you. I fucking hate you!”

Mikey’s eyes widened with realization, and he reached out for me. I stumbled back out of his touch, wrapping my arms around my waist, fighting to catch my breath. I hated him. I loathed the person he had made me become. Even after all of this time, it was too raw. Mikey Turner was a reminder of things lost—a life I could have had.

“Staci, fuck, I- I’m so-”

“Don’t. Just don’t.” I glared straight at him, refusing to give him total power over me. “You have no fucking idea what I went through after you left me. So don’t you dare say those next words. Just leave.”

He stepped forward again, and I recoiled wrapping my arms tighter.

“I can’t, not until we talk. Please.”

“Fine. If you don't leave, then I will.” I turned from him and walked away, only my arms holding myself together.

***

Staring at myself in the mirror, I breathed out, turned to the side, and tried to see the outline of my swollen stomach. Carrying small was a blessing in disguise. Dad and Eric were still none the wiser about the pregnancy. At twenty-three weeks, and despite gaining a few pounds, I still fit into my regular clothes. But tomorrow that wouldn’t matter. Tomorrow I planned on sitting them down and telling them. I’d even bought a cute baby onesie with the words ‘Baby Jameson’ printed across the chest.

It was time.

Mikey might have crushed my heart for a second time when I visited Joel and Tanner at LSU, but he’d also made me realize something; I didn’t need the conditional love of some guy when I would soon have the unconditional love of my son or daughter. They would love me irrevocably. It was all I needed.

Even if Dad packed my bag and made me leave, I was keeping the baby. I’d made my choice.

~

“Last table just left, Gina,” I yelled through the swinging door.

“Perfect, doll. You can take off if you want. See you tomorrow?”

“Sure thing,” I replied, rubbing my stomach. I’d been having cramps all day. But between school and working extra hours at the diner, I was tired. No part of me didn’t ache when I got home each evening.

After wiping down the counter, I grabbed my keys from the locker in the back and headed out.

“Night.”

Gina’s voice followed me out of the diner and into the small parking lot. I cranked the heater up as soon as I was inside the car. A shooting pain ripped through my stomach, and I gasped, clutching my midriff. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I fired up the car. Home was only a ten-minute drive, but the pain didn’t subside. If I couldn’t get through a few growing pains, what in the hell would I be like during labor?

I’d been driving about five minutes when another pain ripped through me, except this time it took my breath away. Pulling over, I hit the hazard lights on the console and gripped the wheel tight, trying to focus on my breathing. It was too early for Braxton Hicks, and definitely too early for early labor. Panic spread through me, and before I knew it, I had pulled back on the road and started in the direction of the hospital. Something was wrong. Every cell of my being knew it.

“Hang in there, baby. Mommy really wants to meet you, but not yet. You’re not ready.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I fought to maintain focus on the road and not the pain tearing me apart on the inside.

My seat felt wet. I didn’t want to look down. I didn’t want it to be real.

I pulled into the medical center and parked the car in the first available space.

My hand touched the seat between my parted legs.

Blood.

So much blood.

No. Please God, no.

Everything was a blur. How I fell through the doors to reception. Nurses in scrubs rushed to my side, helping me onto the gurney. People yelling at me for my name, how many weeks were there until the baby was due, who was my doctor? I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t form words.

Blood. There’s so much blood.

~

The regimented beep of the monitor stirred me, and I peeled an eye open. My insides felt battered and bruised.

I felt hollow.

Tears rushed from my eyes, and an alarm sounded. The doors opened and a nurse hurried in. “Shh there, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

“But the baby, my baby is-” The words caught in my throat. “Gone. Isn’t it?”

“She. You delivered a baby girl, but it was too early, honey. I’m so sorry for your loss.” The nurse clutched my hand and smiled at me sympathetically.

A roar of pain tore from me, and I cried into the room with a stranger holding my hand.

I was alone.

My baby was gone.

“There, there. Do you want me to call someone?”

I shook my head. “No, no. No one. Thank you.”

“You should really have someone with you. And I have to ask, how old are you, honey?”

“Wha-what?”