Love Comes in Darkness (15 page)

“It’s all right. Pack for a few days. If you need more, we can get you things at the mall. How about you go to your room and start packing a suitcase. I’ll get Token’s things packed and put into the truck. Is there anyone you need me to call for you?”

“No. I can make phone calls while we’re on the road,” Howard said, his mind clearing as he focused solely on getting to Sophia. Howard moved toward his bedroom. He bumped into something and nearly fell backward. “Damn it,” Howard said. He never bumped into things at home.

“It’s okay,” Gordy told him and gently took his arm. He guided Howard back to the bedroom. “Go ahead and pack,” Gordy told him. Howard’s closet door slid open. “The suitcase is on the bed and I opened it for you.”

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Howard said.

“Clear your mind and think only of Sophia. You need to get things done so you can get to her,” Gordy said, and Howard took a deep breath, forcing everything from his mind except the immediate goal. Then he pulled open the top drawer and began placing underwear and socks into the suitcase. Then he added shirts and pants, along with a jacket and an extra pair of shoes. He made his way to the bathroom and packed some toiletries based upon shape and location. He added the bag to the suitcase and zipped it up.

“I think I have everything,” Howard said when Gordy came back in the room.

“I’ll put this in the car. I already put in Token’s bed, his bowls, a few toys, and I also put in the cane that was near the front door. The back door is closed and locked. Do you have a cooler?”

“I don’t think so,” Howard said. “There might be one in the basement.” Howard had only been down there a few times. There were way too many obstacles for him, and the few times he’d been down there, he’d had a sighted person with him.

“I’ll look,” Gordy said. He hurried away, and Howard heard tromping down the stairs as he went to his office. He packed up his laptop and the equipment he thought he might need and got them ready to go as well. He stepped out of his office and heard Gordy in the kitchen. “I found a cooler and I’m packing some things for us to take. I should be done in a minute and then I’ll carry all your things to the truck.”

The refrigerator door closed and Howard heard clinking glass as Gordy passed him. The front door closed behind Gordy, and Howard sat out of the way so Gordy could do what he needed. Token nuzzled between his legs and rested his head in Howard’s lap. “You’re a good boy,” Howard said, and Token whined softly. He seemed to know Howard was upset and was trying to comfort him. Gordy came back in and left right away again. “We’re going to see Sophia,” Howard said to Token. “I just wish….” Howard swallowed as the tears threatened to surface.

Gordy came back in again. “This is the last of it. I’ll check through the house one more time if you want, and then we can get going.”

“Thank you,” Howard whispered, and Gordy placed his hands on Howard’s shoulders.

“It’ll be all right. I know it’s going to be hard, but I’ll be there as long as I can.”

Howard nodded and wondered just how long he could count on Gordy. What if it took a while to settle things and he had to do it all alone in a relatively strange place? Sure, he knew some people in Traverse City, but he’d been gone for a while, with school and then getting a job and moving away. He began to panic. Gordy must have sensed it because he wrapped his arms around him and gently stroked his chest and stomach.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do. Lizzy is gone and Sophia is going to need someone…. I….” Howard was very close to tears again, but he choked them back. He had to be strong. He’d spent years trying to prove he could be independent, and this was just another challenge. This might be the worst thing that had happened to him, but he’d make it through, come hell or high water. He had to—for Sophia’s sake. Howard held Gordy’s arms and tried to settle his mind.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know. You can do whatever you have to,” Gordy said and squeezed him again. “I have just one more bag to load and then we’re ready.”

“Okay,” Howard said, and Gordy’s arms slipped away as he stood up. “We should probably get going. Sophia is in a hospital room waiting for us.”

“Okay. The truck is parked right in front of the house on this side of the street. Go on and get in while I check everything here and get the last bag and cooler.”

“I can close up the house,” Howard protested.

“I know you can,” Gordy said.

Howard sighed. “I’m sorry. I’ll go get in the truck. Thank you for all your help.” Howard found Gordy’s face and stroked his cheek lightly before gripping Token’s harness and heading outside. It was still dripping outside as he walked to the truck. He opened the door and let Token get in before climbing inside and shutting the door behind him. He searched the seat and found the belt Gordy had bought for when Token rode in the truck. He attached it by feel. Once he was done, he heard the liftgate in back slam, and then Gordy opened the driver’s side door, and Howard felt him working the bags in behind the seat. He climbed in, and Howard waited for him to start the engine. Instead, he felt Gordy lightly stroke his leg.

“If you want to talk, I’m here, and if you don’t feel like it, that’s okay too.”

“Thanks,” Howard said, patting Gordy’s hand. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, and it seemed to change by the second. Gordy started the engine, and Howard settled as best he could for the long ride.

For a long while, he didn’t feel like talking. His thoughts wandered as the tires hummed on the payment. A few times Gordy turned on the windshield wipers, and once rain beat the windshield. “Are you hungry?” Gordy asked at one point. “We’re coming into St. Ignace and there will be places we can stop. After that, it’s going to take almost two hours before we reach Traverse City.”

Howard’s stomach rumbled. “I think we’d better,” he said. “Token could use a chance to stretch his legs.”

“It won’t hurt us, either,” Gordy agreed. Howard waited while they turned a few times, and then they stopped and Gordy shut off the engine. “I figured you’d want something fast, so it’s just McDonald’s, if that’s okay.”

“Thank you,” Howard said and opened his door, then climbed down and released Token from his restraint. He jumped down, and Howard took the harness. “Find the door,” Howard said, and Token moved forward slowly and then stopped. A car, spattering water onto Howard’s pants, passed close by, and Gordy held him. “I’m okay,” Howard said once the car was past, and Token moved forward again.

“I have the door for you,” Gordy said, and Howard went inside the restaurant. It was noisy, with kids yelling and people talking. Things beeped and buzzed. Howard could barely keep all the overlapping sounds apart. “What would you like? I’ll order it and bring the food after I get you to a table.”

“Look, Mom, a doggie,” a kid said.

“No,” he heard Gordy say gently. “He’s a working dog, not a petting dog.”

“Sorry,” the kid said.

“He acts as my friend’s eyes, because he can’t see,” Gordy explained.

“Really?” the kid said in disbelief.

“Yeah. Token is very smart,” Gordy said.

“Cool,” the kid said, and Gordy guided Howard forward. “Mom,” Howard heard from behind him in the same kid’s voice, “that man has doggie eyes.”

Howard sat down and began to laugh, and then reached into his pocket for a tissue and blotted his face so no one saw that he was so close to tears. He had never been so grateful for the glasses he always wore as he was right now. Falling apart in front of a bunch of strangers in McDonald’s was not what he wanted.

“What do you want me to get you?” Gordy asked, lightly squeezing his hand.

Howard wiped his face, taking a few seconds to regain his composure. “I don’t know. Something easy to eat that I won’t end up spilling all over myself.”

“I’ll be right back,” Gordy said, and Howard reached beneath the table and stroked Token’s head until he lay down. Then Howard simply waited, trying to keep the worry and grief at bay. By the time Gordy returned, Howard was mostly together, and he ate the hamburger and some of the french fries Gordy had brought for him. He wasn’t all that hungry any longer, but he forced himself to eat. Skipping meals and making himself weak wouldn’t help anyone.

“I’ve had enough,” Howard said when he was done. “Are you finished?”

“Yes,” Gordy said. “Do you want something else to drink?”

“No, I need to use the bathroom, and then we can go,” Howard said and slid out of the seat. He took Token’s harness, and Gordy helped to guide him through the crowd and to the bathroom door. Token led him inside, and Howard found the stall door and went inside. He searched gingerly and located everything he needed.

By the time he emerged from the bathroom, Gordy was waiting, and between him and Token, Howard made it over to a grassy spot where he could park Token and then back to the truck. Once settled, they pulled out and got back underway.

“Are we on the bridge?” Howard asked, his ears popping.

“Yes. We’re headed up,” he said, and the sound of the wheels changed. It unnerved him because it sounded much less solid. “We’ve reached the center and are heading down now,” Gordy told him, and soon the wheel hum changed again and Howard relaxed. He knew the center of the five-mile-long Mackinac Bridge had steel grating, but he hated the way it sounded. “We’re off and we’ll be changing highways soon.” The direction didn’t mean much to him, but Gordy’s attempt at conversation was welcome.

“I don’t know what to talk about,” Howard said after they’d driven a while longer. “I mean, I don’t know what we’re going to be walking into other than Lizzy is”—he swallowed—“gone and Sophia is alone.” He breathed through his open mouth. He was trying not to think about what he was going to have to do.

“You’re not in this alone,” Gordy said. Howard knew Gordy was trying to be comforting, but Howard also knew he was very much alone. Lizzy, his only remaining family, was gone. “I mean it, Howard. You don’t have to do this alone if you don’t want to.”

Howard had no idea what to say. He knew Gordy was offering his help, but how long could it possibly last? A few days, then he’d have to go home, and Howard would have to somehow pick up the pieces alone. Token shifted on the seat next to him and rested his head on Howard’s leg. He stroked him, Token’s soft fur sliding between his fingers. “I don’t know anything right now.”

“Know that I’m here,” Gordy whispered, patting his leg lightly, and Howard touched Gordy’s hand, then held it for a few seconds. Then Gordy pulled it away, presumably to drive, and Howard continued stroking Token.

“Why don’t you make your phone calls,” Gordy suggested, and Howard sighed. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, but Gordy was right. Howard pulled his phone out of his pocket and instructed the phone to call Ken.

“Hi, Howard, are we still on for tomorrow?” Ken asked excitedly.

“Umm, I don’t think so,” Howard answered softly. “Lizzy and Sophia were in a car accident. Lizzy didn’t survive.” The darkness that had always been part of his life seemed to become even deeper. He rarely thought about it, but it seemed to surround him, and Howard shivered slightly. “Gordy is driving me to the hospital in Traverse City.”

“Is Sophia okay?” Ken asked quickly.

“They told me she is,” Howard told him, and the jitteriness in his stomach that had settled down for a while ramped right back up again. “I’m hoping to find out more when I get to the hospital.”

“If there’s anything Patrick, Hanna, or I can do, please let us know. If you have to stay and need some help, let us know. We’ll drive down.”

“Thanks,” Howard said, biting his lips and clamping his eyes closed to stop the threatening tears. “I don’t know what I’m walking into.”

“We’re there for you—you know that,” Ken said.

“I know,” Howard said. He didn’t know what else to say, but he didn’t want to hang up either. Having Ken on the phone made him feel closer. Gordy lightly touched his leg, and Howard nearly lost the last bit of composure he possessed, but somehow kept himself together. “I’m going to be okay, I know that. More than anything, I’m worried about Sophia. I don’t know what she’s been told.”

“Is someone with her?”

“Yeah. The police officer I spoke with said a neighbor was sitting with her. But….” Howard began to shake.

“You’ll be there for her. You’re what she needs. Be strong and care for her. Everything else is immaterial when compared to what Sophia is going to need,” Ken said.

“I know,” Howard agreed, calming himself with a few deep breaths.

“Promise me you’ll call if you need anything, and let us know what’s going on,” Ken said. Howard promised and then disconnected the call. He had other calls to make, but he wasn’t up to any of them right now.

T
HE
miles ticked by, and as they got closer and closer to Traverse City, the food Howard had eaten earlier churned in his stomach. He drank a little of the soda he’d brought from the restaurant to settle it and tried not to think too hard about what was coming. He didn’t say anything. The last thing he felt like doing was talking. “We’re just on the edge of town,” Gordy told him and pulled over.

“What are you doing?”

“I need directions to the hospital, and I didn’t think you’d be able to direct me.” Gordy opened the glove box. “I’m hooking up the GPS.” Howard heard it bing and then the soft tones as Gordy programmed it. “It’ll be just a minute.”

“I hate those voices,” Howard said. “I tried to sell my programs to one of the GPS device companies but they weren’t interested. They said I was too expensive.”

Gordy laughed. “Honey, you’re always just right. These things always sound terrible.” The mechanical voice instructed them forward. “It’s hard to understand her sometimes.”

“I know. It’s part of why I do the work I do—to make the computer voices more understandable. I listen to them all day. Those voices are how I’m able to get my work done, and those voices open up the world for me.” Gordy pulled back onto the road and sped up. “Without them I couldn’t do my work, and using them was the reason I was driven to make them better.”

“I know. I love your software. Remember when you added it to my computer a few weeks ago? I use it at work all the time now and I don’t have to type nearly as much.”