Read Love & Deception (Agents in Love - Book 1) Online
Authors: Chantel Rhondeau
Tags: #romance, #suspense, #terrorist, #lies, #washington, #secret agent, #hidden identity
“I would hate for you to go out the same way
Jason did, Nick.” Paul sighed heavily. “Women will never tell the
truth, even the ones who aren’t terrorists.”
Though it sounded like he had personal
knowledge on that front, Nick really didn’t want a life lesson from
him. Paul knew nothing about Carlie or the type of woman she
was.
He sank onto the couch and tried to come up
with a plan. S.A.T.O. seemed determined to place blame on Carlie,
whether it was warranted or not. He didn’t know how much longer it
would take Donovan to get the new identities, but he needed to put
a call in and see if they could rush the order.
“You still there, Nick?” Paul’s rough voice
cut into his thoughts.
“Yeah, just thinking where else I could
search. Maybe the target has a safe hidden at her house I don’t
know about. I haven’t searched it all.” He’d say anything to buy a
little more time before they sent another agent to take care of the
problem—which, at this point, most certainly meant killing both him
and Carlie if Paul thought Nick was doing the same thing Jason
had.
“I suggest you do it, then,” Paul said.
“Thanksgiving is next Thursday. The President is leaving Monday
morning for Camp David to spend the holiday, so we’re on standby
until he gets back to make decisions. That gives you a week, give
or take, to wrap this case up.”
“And if I can’t find what you’re looking
for, then I’ve outlived my usefulness for the organization.” Nick
said it flatly, with no hint of a question in his voice.
“Can you handle this or not?” Paul asked,
not denying Nick’s statement.
Handle it...that would mean figuring out who
Carlie really was, why she was lying, and convince her to leave the
country with him. That was the only way he could see to handle it.
Nick realized talking to Paul had only solidified his belief in
Carlie. She was flawed and secretive, yes, but not looking to kill
innocent people.
“Yes, sir. I believe I can.”
“Fine,” Paul said. “Anytime you think you
might fail, just remember Jason Steele and what could happen.”
The line went dead in Nick’s ear and he
dropped the phone to the coffee table. He had less than a week to
figure it all out and get them out of the country.
First, he’d try to call Donovan and throw a
little more money at that problem. After that, he had to make
things up to Carlie.
***
Carlie hung up the phone from Bradley, her
business partner, not sure if she felt any calmer. She and Bradley
had shared some good times, and she’d hoped he would be able to
help with her current problem. He was one of the only people she’d
trusted for a long time and a good friend. Though they satisfied
their more primal needs with each other in the past while she
worked in his restaurant, she’d never fooled herself into thinking
they loved each other.
His advice on Nick was not to give up if she
thought their relationship was the real thing. But how could she
know? Nick ran so hot and cold, and he kept secrets. After
everything she’d shared with him, if he truly cared for her,
wouldn’t he do her the courtesy of letting her into his private
life too?
Carlie carried her empty coffee mug into the
kitchen and rinsed it out. It was past ten. If Nick came home
tonight, he’d have to let himself in with his key.
Home. His key. Who the heck am I trying to
kid? Of course I think he’s the real thing. In six years, I’ve
never trusted anyone that much.
She walked back to the bedroom, turning out
lights as she went. She left the porch light on, just in case Nick
came back. A little extra electricity wasn’t too much to ask for
the man she loved.
Climbing into bed, Carlie curled up on her
side and pulled the comforter over her head, willing sleep to take
over before she started crying. She’d cried enough to last any
number of lifetimes when she found out the truth about Ryan. Crying
over Nick and their short relationship was pointless. Especially
since she hadn’t made any decisions yet. If she ended things with
him, then she’d allow herself a few tears.
Without warning, hard arms encircled her
from behind, pinning her to the mattress. The blanket blocked her
vision and Carlie had no idea who attacked her. Though her heart
pounded, she threw an elbow into his stomach, struggling to free
herself so she could gouge his eyes out like Nick taught her.
“Ouch. Shit, Carlie, it’s me.”
She froze. “Nick? Where did you come
from?”
He pulled the blankets off her face, and
Carlie was able to see him in the light coming through the
windows.
“I called your name several times, but you
were sound asleep,” he explained. “I wanted to hold you.”
Her initial reaction was to cuddle him and
apologize for the elbow. Then again, if he wasn’t so secretive, she
would have been with him tonight instead of struggling against
crying herself to sleep.
She sat up and smoothed her static-filled
hair. A glance at the clock revealed it was past midnight.
“Everything work out at the restaurant?”
“Yes...” He drew the word out and then
sighed. “I’m sorry you’re mad at me again, but I understand why. I
want to fix this.”
Carlie drew her knees to her chest and
wrapped her arms around them. “How?”
“You keep asking me to share my life and I
haven’t. I’m sorry.”
Carlie relaxed slightly, though vowed not to
let him distract her again with sweet talk and mind-blowing sex.
“And you’re ready to share?”
His eyes caught hers in that gaze she
couldn’t resist. “What would you say if I told you I’m not entirely
what I appear to be?”
A frisson of fear threaded her spine, but
she kept eye contact. “What are you?”
“I’m...I’m a man who has been hurt in the
past, a lot, and doesn’t like talking about it.” He shrugged and
looked away, reaching for the touch lamp on the nightstand and
turning it to low. “My father only cared about my performance. My
value was high if I won each karate competition or had better aim
than the other people on the shooting range. Whenever I failed, it
was a horrible disappointment to him. We never really got along,
though it did make me what I am today in many ways.” He paused and
shook his head. “The hardest thing from my past was when Mom was
murdered. The only person who ever truly loved me, and some punk in
the street stabbed her for a purse that only had a few bucks in
it.”
“Oh, Nick.” Despite her resolve, Carlie
captured his hand and pressed it against her cheek. “I’m so
sorry.”
He ran his hand down her face and across her
neck, squeezing her shoulder briefly. “I have a lot of trust
issues, and it’s not my nature to let people in. It’s hard for me
to open up.”
“So, we’re a lot alike that way.” She
propped pillows behind her and leaned against the headboard. “That
had to be tough, though. I really am sorry about your mom.”
He nodded and looked away. “So am I. I miss
her.”
“Do you see your dad much?”
“No. Never. I created a new life for myself,
and so did he. He has a new wife and son, actually.” He sighed. “I
guess he wanted to start over, since I was such a disappointment.
Then again, I don’t believe he ever loved Mom, so why did I expect
him to love me?”
The bitterness in Nick’s tone wasn’t
surprising. Carlie felt a deep sorrow for him, even though he
sounded angry rather than sad.
“I can understand why you don’t like to talk
about it, but I appreciate you sharing.” She stroked his hand
softly with her fingertips. “I think my parents gave me an
unrealistic view of what love should be. Their marriage was nothing
like your folks’.”
“They live the fairytale you talked about,
don’t they?”
“Yes. In a lot of ways, they do.” She
realized her next statement might make Nick decide to walk away,
taking the decision from her as to whether she kept seeing him, but
she plowed on. “The problem I have is that I want the fairytale
too, even if it’s unrealistic.”
“Every relationship I’ve ever had has
failed.” He sat quietly, apparently deep in thought. Finally, he
looked up again. The vulnerability in his eyes made Carlie’s heart
thaw even more. “We don’t even know each other that well, Carlie,
and I already want more with you.” He held his hands up. “And
before you berate me for us not knowing each other better, I know
that’s my fault, not yours. You’ve been completely open and honest
with me. I’m the one holding us back.”
“I’m glad you’re trying to change that
tonight. It’s a step in the right direction.” At least she hoped it
was.
“The truth is, I want the fairytale
too.”
She was almost afraid to breathe. “You
do?”
“I feel more deeply for you than any other
woman I’ve been with. If I let you in and then lose you, it will
hurt so much. Maybe too much to handle.”
“But if you block off happiness because you
don’t want to risk possible pain, don’t you lose by default?”
“Yes, and that’s why I made a decision
tonight.” He stood and held his hand out to her. “Will you please
come into the living room? I know I screwed up, again, but I want
you to know I’m committed to trying harder. I bought you a
present.”
It had been a long time since anyone bought
her anything. Carlie took his hand. “You didn’t have to do that. I
don’t want gifts. All I want is you.”
He pulled into his arms, kissing her softly.
This time, Carlie didn’t fight it. He was trying, he was sharing.
That’s all she ever wanted.
He broke off the kiss, but pressed his
forehead against hers. “All I want is you, too, but I think you’ll
really like this.”
“Well, since you already bought it...”
Nick laughed and opened the door, leading
her into the hallway. “This is our fairytale, my lady, and the
gallant knight had to do something impressive to win the hand of
his fair maiden.”
He was a bit cheesy, but adorable when he
said the ‘my lady’ stuff. Happiness fluttered in her chest. When
they weren’t fighting, Carlie could almost believe their fairytale
was meant to happen.
Nick flipped the light switch on as he led
Carlie into the living room, and then turned to watch her
reaction.
She gasped and her hands flew to her mouth.
“What is this for? I don’t understand.”
“Your bruises are mostly healed and we need
a fun night out. In all the craziness with Stephen and assassins
and whatever, we skipped right past dating. You deserve to be
treated like a lady.” Nick walked further into the room, and Carlie
followed him. Before waking her up, he’d laid the teal evening gown
he’d picked out across the back of the couch. “Do you like it?”
“It’s beautiful.” She took another step
forward and stroked the silk fabric.
“Sorry I was so late, but I had to drive
down to Seattle to find a shop that was open.” Well, he’d found a
shop owner willing to indulge a man throwing around so much money,
since the store wasn’t technically open. He walked behind Carlie
and pulled her against his chest, brushing his lips across the back
of her neck. “Can you forgive me?”
She relaxed into him and hugged his arms
tightly to her stomach. “I promised myself I wouldn’t be swayed by
your sweet talk and how much I want you.”
He mouthed her earlobe and Carlie’s head
dropped back against his shoulder. She had to forgive him. Talking
her into leaving the country with him had become the only option.
“I’m really trying to do what you want,” he breathed.
“Which I do appreciate.” She reached back
and caressed his face. “Will you promise to tell me more about
yourself? I know it cost you a lot to open up tonight and talk
about your parents, but that’s what I need.”
Even though he hadn’t told her about
S.A.T.O., he tried to let her in. The relationship with his father
was a flop, but Nick figured that was part of his issue with
forming lasting relationships, and she deserved to know about it.
The hardest part was talking about his mother’s murder. Nick owed
it to Carlie to let her in on his past, but not anymore
tonight.
“Please, Nick. I want a man who wants me as
much as I want him,” she whispered.
He ran his tongue down her neck and caressed
her breasts with his fingertips. “I want you, Carlie. Don’t worry
about that.”
“I mean more than physically.”
Releasing her, Nick stepped back. He didn’t
want her to think sex was all he wanted, because it wasn’t. “I
meant more than physically too. My past is hard to discuss, but I
want the entire package with you. That’s why I planned us a special
day tomorrow.”
She smiled. “That’s really sweet of
you.”
“I thought so, too.”
“I better try the dress on.” She looked back
at him with an arched eyebrow. “By the way, how did you decide what
size to buy?”
Talk about dangerous territory. Luckily,
Nick hadn’t blindly guessed, knowing it would be a disaster to get
it wrong, either direction. Women were picky like that. “I called
Shelley and she told me.”
“Oh? How’d you get her number?”
Shit—still dangerous territory. He shrugged,
trying to make her see it wasn’t a big deal. “She gave it to me
after the fiasco with Stephen, just in case I ever needed her
help.”
“But you’re just as good at shooting as she
is and a better fighter. Why would...?” Carlie waved her hand in
front of her. “Never mind. I’ll make sure it fits.” She grabbed the
dress, cradling it carefully in her arms as she disappeared down
the hallway.
Nick flopped onto the couch, feeling like
he’d won a small victory. He hadn’t realized calling Shelley for
help would upset Carlie, but he should have. Shelley was a huge
flirt and wanted to date him in the past. Luckily, Carlie decided
to let that issue go. He’d hate for it to start another fight.