Love & Deception (Agents in Love - Book 1) (30 page)

“I know we’ll have to reach some
compromises, but I’ll do whatever I have to if it means we can be
together.” She kissed him again, reassured by the way he responded.
After she pulled away, Carlie took a deep breath, knowing it was
time to press on. “Here it goes...I’m in love with you, Nick
Kendall, and I’ll do whatever is necessary to be with you.”

“You... That’s what you were nervous to
say?” Nick’s arm slid away from her back and he shook his head.
“That’s not what I...” He shook his head again. “Was there anything
else?”

It felt like someone squeezed her heart too
tightly. He obviously didn’t feel the same, no matter how he
acted.

“Never mind.” She forced a smile on her
face, her lips stretching too wide. “Don’t say anything else,
please. I’d rather you not pretend if you don’t feel the sa—”

“Of course I feel the same,” he cut in.
“From the moment I saw you, I knew you were special.”

He framed her face in his hands and leaned
forward, kissing her so passionately she couldn’t doubt him.

When they separated again, Carlie sighed
happily. “You had me worried for a second.”

The sexy grin she loved so much flashed on
his face. “Sorry. I expected you to say something else, and it
caught me off guard. That’s all.”

She laughed. “What did you think I was going
to say? Something about hot sex?”

“Actually, I thought you’d tell me what
really goes on at Muhammad’s soup kitchen. Carlie, I need to know
the truth. Are you involved with him?”

Confusion dampened her happiness, but
quickly built to anger as the meaning of his words hit her. “You
think I’m having a love affair with Muhammad?” She shook her head
sharply. “I would never do that to you! How could you think
that?”

“Not a love affair.” Nick’s jaw clenched and
the look on his face was so hard, a tendril of fear crept down her
spine. “Tell me what else he does. I want to be a part of your
life, every part of it, but I can’t help if you don’t let me
in.”

Carlie pushed his arms away from her, hurt
by his odd accusations. “I don’t know what you think I know, but I
can’t tell you anything about Muhammad. What do
you
think
he’s doing?”

“The terrorist stuff.” He practically spit
the words at her, his anger a palpable force. “Tell me about that,
and then we can be together.”

“Is this about what that FBI guy said to you
before? You believe that Muhammad would actually have anything to
do with that?” Carlie’s hands shook as her own anger rose. “I
thought you were becoming friends with him. How could you think
that?”

“Carlie, I know he’s doing something and you
know about it. I won’t be mad, just tell me.”

“I’m so glad
you
won’t be mad, but
I’m pissed.” Standing from the couch, she glared down at him. “I
clearly made a mistake telling you how I feel. I take it all back.”
She shook her head, wishing her heart didn’t hurt so badly. “If you
actually loved me, you’d trust me. You know I’m not a terrorist and
neither is Muhammad. This is obviously an excuse so you don’t have
to commit.”

“Carlie, that’s not what—”

“Don’t feel like you need to stay here and
protect me. I’m not your responsibility. I refuse to be with
someone who doesn’t believe in me.”

Turning on her heel, Carlie raced to the
bedroom. She grabbed his suitcase from the closet, went to the
dresser, and opened the drawer with his clothes. Not caring about
wrinkles or folding things properly, Carlie shoved everything
inside the bag and threw it into the hallway before slamming and
locking the door.

The house was silent. Nick’s footsteps never
sounded in the hallway to indicate he came to get his bag and she
never heard the front door close. Apparently, he waited in the
living room, though Carlie didn’t know why. She couldn’t face
him.

Slowly, her anger burned itself out and
horrible grief took over. She buried herself under the comforter,
trying to muffle the sobs wracking her body. Carlie couldn’t
understand what had happened to them the last few days. It seemed
everything provoked a fight, and now this. Did he truly think she
and Muhammad were terrorists? That was crazy. It had to be because
he didn’t want her, and was using that as an excuse to get
away.

It was worse than finding out the truth
about Ryan. She let herself care deeply for Nick, and that had been
a mistake. Why didn’t he trust her? And worse, why had he pretended
to love her?

Nick opened his eyes and stared at the
ceiling when Carlie’s alarm went off back in the bedroom. Pain
twinges raced along the muscles in his neck from sleeping crammed
on the couch. Not that he’d done much sleeping.

Once Carlie’s heartbreaking sobs had finally
quieted, Nick stayed awake a long time, torn about what to do.
Though he knew she wanted him out of her house, he hadn’t moved
from the living room. Aside from Paul’s orders to stay with her and
the bracelet, Nick hadn’t wanted to leave.

Her reactions truly seemed like those of a
woman hurt and confused. If it wasn’t for the bracelet, the wedding
pictures, and how defensive she was about Muhammad, Nick would
believe she was innocent and completely ignorant of the terrorist
organization. He wished he
could
believe her. If Carlie were
what she appeared to be, he wouldn’t have laid here all night
contemplating whether it would be possible to kill her—and how much
it would crush his soul if he did.

He heard her moving around in the bathroom
and then the hall light turned on. Her footsteps sounded on the
hallway floor and she poked her head into the living room. “Nick?
Are you sleeping?”

He sat up and rolled his head around, trying
to ease the stiffness. “No.”

She already had her work clothes on and her
hair pulled back in a clip. The bruises on her face had faded
enough that she didn’t need much makeup, but the night of crying
left her eyes puffy. Nick felt awful all over again, seeing the
evidence of how he’d hurt her.

“I thought you’d be gone,” she said.

“Even though we fought, I wouldn’t just
leave you like that.”

She bit her lip and looked away. “I’m going
to make coffee and cereal. Do you want any?”

Her offer surprised him, though her tone was
cool. She obviously wasn’t ready to forgive and forget, but
breakfast was a start.

“I’d like that.” He stood and took a few
steps toward her. “Can we talk before you leave for work?”

“For a few minutes. I have a busy day.
People ordered lots of rolls for Thanksgiving tomorrow.” Sighing,
she looked down at the floor. “This was supposed to be such a happy
holiday for us.”

“It still can be.”

She shook her head. “I’ll have breakfast
ready soon.”

Nick hurried to use the bathroom and brushed
his teeth, not taking the time to shave or shower. His bag sat on
the hallway floor, items haphazardly hanging out of it. He took it
back into Carlie’s room and set it on the bed, quickly pulling on
clean clothes. Rushing back out, he entered the dining room just as
Carlie set cereal bowls on the table.

She glanced up, her eyes shadowy and
unreadable. “Coffee will be ready in a few minutes, but we may as
well eat while we wait.”

Nick sat next to her and spooned up a bite
of the healthy fiber cereal she liked so much. He hoped she’d say
something and give him a clue how to proceed, but she ate without
comment. Looked like it would be up to him.

“I want to apologize for last night. I don’t
know what came over me.”

“It’s fine.” She stared at her cereal bowl.
“A purely physical relationship would have been okay with me. I
wish you’d been honest from the start.”

“I never said I only wanted a physical
relationship. You misunderstood what I was trying to say.” Reaching
across the table, he grabbed her hand.

She yanked away from him. “So, what? You
actually think I’m a terrorist? It wasn’t an excuse to get out of a
relationship with me?” Finally meeting his eyes, confusion was
clear in hers.

He wasn’t sure how to get himself out of
this situation. Last night, for some reason, he figured if he could
get her to confide in him, maybe there was a chance he could talk
her out of working with Muhammad. They could still run away
together if she would give up the terrorist organization for him.
Despite her flaws and the fact Nick should hate her, he was in love
with her. It seemed nothing could change that.

And maybe that was his answer—to be honest.
“Carlie, this is all screwed up. There’s one thing I know for
sure.” He took her hand again, cupping it between both of his. “I
am
in love with you.”

Her eyebrows narrowed and she blinked
rapidly. “How could you be? If you think I’m a terrorist, you
obviously don’t even know who I am.”

“I do know who you are.” Not entirely true,
but he knew his feelings for her were real. “What the FBI agent
said got to me, that’s all. If you were involved in something
illegal, I wanted you to confide in me. I wanted to be a part of
your life, but I needed to know what I was getting into.”

She stood abruptly and grabbed her
half-eaten cereal. “I suddenly don’t have an appetite.”

Carlie walked into the kitchen. The water
came on and the garbage disposal whirled for a few seconds before
both things shut off. She walked through the kitchen archway,
staring at him.

“Please, Carlie, you have to forgive
me.”

“I always thought involving feelings deeper
than friendship would make things so much more satisfying than what
I had with Bradley.” She shook her head. “I don’t know why I
thought that. I should have learned my lesson with Ryan.”

Nick ground his teeth together, his
frustration level rising. Why persist with the Ryan lie? She had to
know he was on to her and didn’t believe that story anymore.
Perhaps she didn’t care about him at all, so it didn’t matter if
her lies were too thin to be plausible. “Good to know where I stack
up in regard to all the men of your life.”

She snorted. “Yeah? Well, I wanted you to be
the top one, but you aren’t the man I thought you were.” Crossing
to the end table where she kept her purse, Carlie picked it up and
slung the strap across her shoulder. “I’m going to work. Please
turn the coffee pot off before you leave.”

“I take it I’m not invited to come with
you.”

Her lower lip trembled slightly, but she
shook her head. “Take your stuff when you leave. You can stop by
the shop to drop off the key, and then I don’t think we should see
each other again.”

It was hard to catch his breath as waves of
pain knifed through his body. He stood up and held his hand out,
praying she’d change her mind. “You can’t mean that. Don’t throw me
out of your life.”

“Goodbye, Nick.”

She brushed past him, her vanilla scent
wafting in the air between them as she strode toward the door. She
didn’t even turn around for one last look before leaving the
house.

***

One batch of bread was in the oven and
Carlie worked on dough for the dinner roll orders an hour later.
Though she tried to tell herself to be strong, tears worked their
way steadily down her cheeks. Shelley would arrive for work in a
half hour and likely ask too many questions. Carlie didn’t want to
face that, but she couldn’t get her grief under control.

She leaned against the wall and sank to the
ground, wiping her tears helplessly. It was foolish to cry over
him. Super hunk, complete jerk, her chivalrous hero—Carlie couldn’t
decide exactly who Nick Kendall was. Definitely not who she
thought.

The sounds of Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony
interrupted the silence, signaling a call from an unknown number
coming in on her phone. Half hoping it was Nick from his hotel room
calling to make up, she slipped it out of her pocket.

“Hello?”

“Hi,” a man’s voice said—not Nick. “Is this
Carlie?”

“Yes. I’m sorry, but who is this?”

“Donovan Andrews. Edward’s friend.”

Carlie scrubbed at the tears on her face.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know any Edward.”

“Er... Did I say Edward?” He laughed.
“Weird. I meant Nick. I’m Nick’s friend.”

Crap. It sunk in who was on the other end of
the line, Donovan—as in Donovan and Madeline—who planned to share
Thanksgiving dinner at her house tomorrow. She totally forgot about
them. “Did Nick call you and tell you about the change in
plans?”

“Change in plans? No. I’ve been trying to
reach him. He’s not answering his phone and I got worried.
Nothing’s happened to him, has it?”

Strange question. What did Donovan expect to
happen? “He was fine when I left this morning.”

A female voice rumbled in the background,
though Carlie couldn’t make out the words.

“I’m getting there, darling,” Donovan said,
though Carlie could tell the words weren’t directed at her. “We
wanted to let you know we’re more than halfway there. We started
out yesterday, because Maddie wanted to stop at all the lighthouses
along the route, and we’re taking the kids to get ice cream at the
dairy. We’ll be there around dinnertime and wondered if we could
treat you guys tonight before you cook for us tomorrow.”

Shoot. They were already on their way. How
could she say no? Nick told her they lived in northern California,
a town about ten hours away. She couldn’t cancel now, not when they
already traveled so far.

Forcing a smile on her face in the hopes her
voice would sound cheerful, she said, “Dinner sounds great. I’ll
let Nick know. He’s looking forward to seeing you.”

***

Nick stared at the damn bracelet, wishing
Carlie hadn’t shown it to him. It made absolutely no sense that it
was still sitting here. If it was such a dangerous little jewel and
so important to the terrorists’ plots, why leave it?