Love Engineered (19 page)

“These stories often are based around unrequited love are, they not?” Mr Ashton commented.

“More often than not, yes,” she replied.

“Have you ever seen the Lady of the Lake”? he asked, and expected her to answer in a similar way as before.

“No, she only shows herself to men. Legend has it that if a man looks her in the eye, she mesmerises him and lures him into the lake to drown as revenge.”

Mr Ashton laughed in a nervous manner. “Well, if I visit the lake, I shall be sure to take a woman with me. I hope not all of your family are as vengeful as her?”

She looked across at Mr Lucas. “Certainly not. I'm sure that if I ever fell in love and was rejected thus, I would quickly forget the gentleman and look to the future.” Charles met her gaze at first, then looked down at his plate as she finished.

But as soon as the words were out, she instantly regretted them. So far that evening she had been struggling with her composure and all day her feelings undulated from love to dislike where Mr Lucas was concerned. She was still in love with him, that she knew. She savoured being in his presence, but wanted more than anything to forget that dreadful day when he told her what he thought of her. Despite the fact that he was there that evening out of duty, he was gentlemanly and friendly. She concluded it must be because of the investments, then disliked him for his fickleness.

A short time later, Mr Boyd asked, “Whilst Charles and I walked out this afternoon, we were caught in a shower and made our way to a small outbuilding beyond the stables. At first we assumed it was a farm building, but when we went in, it wasn't full of animals, it was full of strange objects. There were miniature steam engines, chemical experiments of kinds and image-taking equipment, and in it there was a desk with all sorts of journals, including the Engineering Journal, and there was even a sketch of Charles's bridge on the wall.”

Louise froze, overcome with horror at their discovery of her workroom.

Mr Boyd went on, “Do you know who the workroom belongs to? I would like to direct him, whoever he is. Is he one of your servants? Many of the experiments were quite elementary. But perhaps it's set up to teach a child?”

Everyone looked at Louise for a response. She cleared her throat and looked over at Mr Lucas. From the look on his face, he obviously knew the truth. He had been here all this time and he knew her secret. Boyd's condescension made it impossible for her to admit to being the owner. Finally, he glanced at her and must have seen the mortification and embarrassment on her face.

At last she spoke, but the words were difficult to find. “I – I will make sure the owner of the workroom knows of your views,” she said, and she dipped her head in shame, suddenly wishing the visitors were gone.

She barely heard Mr Lucas speak, but it was his voice that made her look up. “Miss Thomas, you were right about being able to see Portland from the coastline. I have never been there, have you?”

She lowered her voice. “Yes. Many times. I'm fond of Weymouth and Portland. The naval port is very fine.”

“As fine as Charles's docks at Bristol?” Ashton asked.

And so the conversation finally changed to Mr Lucas's work. Louise remained somewhat quiet and subdued for the rest of the evening and barely spoke at all to Mr Boyd. She wasn't the kind of patron who was easily flattered by meaningless and unfounded compliments, so Mr Boyd's remarks, although truthful, would normally have been accepted with fortitude. But she was in no mood for further criticism, especially tonight, and because her workroom was her most favourite place in the whole of her estate. The invasion, however inadvertent, into this most private place had wounded her deeply and she didn't know if she could find the courage to speak to Mr Boyd without her sudden dislike showing. She would make sure she always locked the place from now on and was the only key holder. Why hadn't she done that before?

When dinner was over, Louise stood up to leave the men alone.

Ashton was the first to protest. “No! Miss Thomas, there is no need to leave us. You're the only lady and our host, surely you need not stand on such ceremony?”

But she was determined. “I'm sorry, I must insist. I wouldn't like you all to think me more male than female.” She shot a glance at Mr Lucas, but scolded herself for her pettiness. She lightened her tone. “Please join me in the sitting room when you are ready. You know where it is.”

The gentlemen remained in the dining room only a quarter of an hour. Their conversation was somewhat limited. Mr Lucas was no longer in the mood for idle chit-chat, Mr Francis was too awed to say much and Mr Boyd and Mr Ashton had no subject to speak of except the dinner, and the dining room in which they sat.

Louise used the time alone to visit the kitchens to thank the staff. It was a custom she kept after her guests left, but the thought of being alone for an unknown amount of time in the sitting room was almost unbearable. She was back in her place ready to serve the coffee as soon as the gentlemen entered. She had spent the previous minutes lingering on why she couldn't be in the same room as Mr Lucas without being mortified and humiliated. Wasn't it enough that he disliked her?

Luckily, the rest of the evening passed with little incident. Conversation remained pleasant enough. Mr Ashton claimed a desire to see the house and grounds more fully the next time he was in Devon. When the carriages were called for, Mr Lucas cornered her and asked if she would grant a moment of her time to speak to him in private.

She agreed, ignoring the surprised and inquisitive looks from the others. She led him to the drawing room, entering in only a few paces. Only when she heard the door close did she dare look at him. She half expected his criticism and chastisement. She expected him to launch into a tirade like the last time they spoke alone, to tell her the things he hated about her house, her behaviour.

He cleared his throat and hesitated for a moment, then in a quiet, sincere voice began. “Firstly, I would like to apologise for Mr Boyd's earlier comments about your workroom. I know him well enough to assure you that he didn't mean anything malicious.”

She tilted her chin up at him and said in proud defiance, “You need not worry, Mr Lucas. I will not change my mind about funding the bridge because of Mr Boyd's comments, however deep they cut. The percentage of the toll charges I will receive will be a useful income for the estate for many years. Besides, this is different from the usual slights I receive, most of which are aimed at my character and reputation rather than my personal interests.”

What could he say in return? He deserved that remark and, looking at her wounded expression, he was at a loss for words for a moment. “You mistake me. I wasn't apologising for him in order to secure the investment, I assure you. It was because I knew he had offended you.”

“And may I ask why you so suddenly care if I'm offended or not, having given me such thorough admonishment before?”

He couldn't answer that question either. She had caught him off guard.

“Miss Thomas please, I'm truly sorry for our misunderstanding that day. For my foolishness in believing Mr Risinger. Can you find it in yourself to forgive me?”

She held his gaze for a long time. “Yes.”

He sighed, then moved closer to her. “Thank you. Though I know I don't deserve it. Believe me, Jane has made me suffer most acutely for my error.”

“Mr Russell visited you then?”

“He did.”

She looked down for a moment. “William – Mr Risinger deceived you, in the same way he deceived me. He has a manner and demeanour that appears to make him trustworthy, but rest assured – underneath is a fiend.”

“I know.”

“He charmed me, he is handsome and has such a way with words that some days I still wonder to myself that he did all this. What pains me the most is if he had been inclined to be kind and generous there would have been a great many people who would have benefited from him. But alas, he chose a different path.”

“You were great friends before his deception?”

“Yes, I looked on him as a brother. But all he wanted was my money and my estate. God knows what he would have done with it.”

Charles noticed how sad her face had become. “Worst of it all was to claim that Marie was your child, when all along – ”

Louise interrupted him. “That he claims the child is mine proves once and for all that he does not know me. For I could never abandon a child, however unfortunate the circumstances may have been regarding its birth. I have so few blood relatives that I would cherish any God blessed me with.”

She took a breath, then continued on in a passionate tone. “I have independence and can act in any way I choose. If I had wanted to, I could have followed the immoral path, and not answered to anyone. But I have not.”

“I know.” He paused, staring at her for a moment. “Tell me, has he been found yet?” He hoped his voice showed genuine concern.

“No, he still hides himself away. He is so much in debt and with such unsavoury people that he fears too much for his life. Who can possibly be hiding him, I know not.”

“Is everything being done to find him?”

“Mr Russell assures me that it is.”

“And is the child safe?”

“Yes, quite safe. She is in a village just north of Nottingham. So, you see, you need not worry on that score. I'm sure eventually Mr Risinger will be found, dead or alive. I no longer care which.”

Silence ensued for a few moments. Every subject now seemed exhausted. But there was one further matter he must speak of.

“Can I ask you, would you receive a letter from Jane? She would like to renew her friendship with you.”

The mention of such a treasured friend softened her demeanour. “Oh Jane. How is she? I miss her very much. Yes, tell her I would be so glad to hear from her.”

“Thank you. She is well. She will be happy to hear from you. Although I'm not sure what I shall say regarding the reason for my visit.“

“Tell her the truth – tell her my secret. She loves you and Mr Boyd too much to disclose my secret and risk harming both your livelihoods.”

She hadn't meant to be so indiscreet on Jane's part, but the look of surprise on Mr Lucas's face was clear. He hadn't realised that his sister's friendship with Miss Thomas was such that she would discuss Mr Boyd. No wonder Jane had been so upset – their friendship ran deeper than he ever realised.

“I'm sorry. I should not have made that last comment about Mr Boyd,” she said.

He dismissed the remark, and walked towards her. “Will you shake my hand to show you have no ill will against me now, that you accept my unequivocal apology? I would like us to part without animosity, and perhaps if you're willing, start afresh?”

She was a little taken aback but took his hand for a moment. Something deep within her couldn't deny him anything he asked. “Certainly. But will you be so kind as to inform Mr Boyd that in the future it would be preferable that he keep his admonishments of those intellectually beneath him to himself.”

“I will.”

With that, he let her smaller hand slip out of his and they returned to the other guests. It was a few minutes more before the carriages arrived and they took their leave.

. . .

As the carriage returned them to the inn, Charles was quiet. He still felt his apology was lacking. But he was glad to get away; it was all awkward to say the least. It was clear she didn't want to be in his company, but then why invite him to dinner?

He was at least glad that Jane would no longer complain at the loss of her friend. He was determined to write to her immediately and tell her the news.

But the workroom had unsettled him. Ever since he had been inside it, he had been unable to stop thinking about it. That room with all its technology showed that she had more than a passing interest in such things, that she filled her time with all that interested him. She was different to other women, and he admired her for it.

He thought back to her question. Why do you so suddenly care if I'm offended or not? His heart whispered one reason, but he quickly suppressed it.

. . .

After Louise bid farewell to her guests, she went to the dining room, now clear of all signs of the gathering. She sat down quietly on the chair Mr Lucas had occupied, trying to hold on to his essence, and at the same time thinking of the touch of his hand a few minutes earlier.

She was angry at herself for allowing her emotions to show and overflow into words directed at him. She had been petty at times, but she knew that it was precisely because she loved him so, that she cared what he thought of her, that he was able to bring forth such emotions. Why did he still have such an effect on her? She was glad to know that at least he thought a little better of her. He admitted to being wrong over Mr Risinger. But she couldn't help wishing his feelings were as deep as hers. In fact, hadn't his apology been solely directed towards his error, and not those personal faults he clearly pointed out that day?

The evening had been full of emotional turmoil and she abruptly stood up and removed herself from the dining room, in a determined effort to forget him. She couldn't continue to brood over him like this. He didn't like her and she was resolved to overcome her feelings once and for all.

The first step was to occupy her mind with other things, and she spent the remainder of the night writing to Jane. She couldn't wait for Jane to contact her, she had permission from the brother to renew their friendship and she wouldn't delay any longer. The previous three months had been long enough.

The partners left Axminster the next morning for their journey to the bridge construction site. Charles woke in an unhappy mood. He hadn't slept well, and whether this was because of the general noise from the inn or from the torrent of thoughts that invaded his mind, he didn't know. All he knew was that he was unsettled. They sat in the first class carriage and waited for the train to leave the station. Ashton took up a newspaper and Mr Boyd a book. But Charles wasn't about to let the other two read. He had business to discuss.

“Before you both spend the entire journey reading, I have something I wish to say to you.”