Love Grows in Alaska (The Washington Triplets) (11 page)

“What’s this about?” she whispers and I raise my shoulders up and down. “I’m thinking whatever you thought this morning, isn’t true.” When I turn to dispute, she’s wearing a smug smile. I hope to hell she’s correct, that there is a misunderstanding somewhere, and I can chalk this up to Nate’s demise in my esteem to never be the girl a guy sleeps with, choosing her over any other girl past, present, or future. The fact these thoughts are scanning through my mind shows me those doubts of myself are occupying way too much of my self-worth.

“I don’t know what to think anymore.” It’s the truth. I have no idea what Zach Greer’s agenda is with me, but one thing for sure is I can’t just be his plaything, because the man has already pulled more out of me than anyone else. I’m positive if I continue to give him access he’ll ruin me and I can’t afford that in my life right now on top of my father’s wedding.

I hear a clearing of someone’s throat and look up to find everyone staring at me. “Marisa Washington.” I introduce myself and Zach slyly winks my way before starting the tour. He leads the way and the four girls swarm behind him on his heels while Libby and I take the rear. He pays no attention to them, pointing out different vegetation and landmarks, as I take up the rear, biting every nail off my hand. Trying to keep my distance because there’s no way I can be that near to him without cozying up to his body, even with how angry I am right now. It’s like I’m his puppet and he’s the master pulling all of the strings. My body runs rampantly out of control when it comes to Zach. Seeing these four young girls fawn over him is not helping me fight the untruths about myself constantly filling my brain.

We begin climbing the mountain with the masses, staying in a line together. Libby begins revealing too much information to me about her and Wes. What they’ve been doing the last few months and how she was torn recently on what to do, but she finally realized she was better than what Camden was dictating. I couldn’t agree with her more, she is. I’ve never told Libby about Nate or the fact that I know firsthand what a verbally abusive relationship can turn someone into. I’m still struggling with own confidence level five months later. It’s hard to forget those words thrown at you; sometimes you start to believe them yourself, but Zach was different. I felt assurance in him that Nate never gave me and I stupidly trusted him. Erasing four years of worthlessness name calling in five months is hard to do. I’ve come a long way, but I’m certain my fear of Zach is because Nate was nice at first too. Then our first fight came and the gloves were off. He would teeter-totter back and forth between sweet and caring to angry and spiteful. Figuring out his mannerisms from a text or phone call before he got home, I knew whether or not to walk on egg shells, trying not to set him off. It scares the hell out of me that I’ll fall into that hole again with someone.

Trying to push those memories behind, I peek up to find the one blonde right next to Zach. My stomach churns when he points something out to her and her hand lays on his shoulder blade. She furthers the closeness by leaning forward across him to gain a better view, rubbing her exuberant amount of breasts against him. “Slut,” I mumble a little too loudly because the rest of the group twists around with judgmental looks. My eyes bulge for a second before I think fast. “Oh, my phone, I just put it away,” I remark, hoping my rambling didn’t dilute my lying.

My co-workers turn back around, disregarding me while the three girls give me their best narrowed-eyes and cocked-head attitude. Girls like them would have intimidated me when I was younger. Those pesky reminders that I’m not as attractive or have nearly the chest they do. Trying not to whip my hand out and toss them the finger, I clench my fist in my pocket. Then Zach stands back up and his eyes light up when they land on mine. “Marisa, why don’t you come up here?” He waves his hand forward for me to follow. A small smile begins to form across my lips as I weave through the group members. When I stop next to the blonde, he turns to her. “Kylie, if you could go back with your friends, Marisa had asked me about the mountain goats and we usually see them around this area.” He lies and a small tingling of hope that I misjudged this whole situation comes to my heart, because he’s purposely managing to get me next to him.

“Mountain goats?” she snidely mocks, placing her hand on her non-existent hip, jutting it out.

Zach nods and then places his hand on the small of my back, guiding me to the outlook area. As always, his touch leaves a quake of shivers up my spine. Once we reach the destination, there are actually mountain goats high on the mountains. Leaning closer to me, he points to the two white goats roaming around. As his breath hits my neck and cheek, my heartbeat begins to race. “You see them, guys?” He leans away, shouting to the group, as the girls and my co-workers meander up to the fence line to get a glimpse of what we are seeing.

His hand drops and grips tight onto my hip; he nuzzles my neck with one swipe of his tongue to my earlobe. “God, you smell delectable. I’m not sure I have the willpower to not taste you again right now.” With one suck of his mouth, I’m completely limp against the wood railing. As much as I hate myself for giving into him, I’m crossing my fingers and my toes that I’m correct in my false allegations this morning and he isn’t only using me for a good time.

My body colds when he steps to the side slightly, making sure we don’t get caught. “All right everyone, we are going to hike back down. There’s a lunch set up for you at the bottom. Then we’ll hop on a boat so you get those breathtaking pictures all your friends will be jealous of.” He steps out in front of everyone to take the lead and when I don’t follow, and Kylie is willing to take my place, Zach backs up to wait for me. Kylie turns her head and narrows her eyes to me, disgust clear until one of her friends tugs her arm.

“You don’t have to wait for me,” I tell him and he only shakes his head.

“For only knowing you a short time, I hate to call you a name, but you’re kind of dense.” He laughs and my mouth hangs open in awe.

“I could say the same about you,” I remind him and he stops for a brief second.

“Why would you say that?” His confused face lightens my heart due to the possibility he does want me.

In case I do in fact have it all wrong, and we came to an understanding last night to use each other for sex while I’m in King’s Gate, I start walking. He quickly catches up and tugs on my elbow. “I’m not following. Help me.” He cocks his head and those blue eyes entrance me again, just like they do every time he looks at me. Something so pure, simple and trustworthy pierces right to my heart.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” I lower my tone and glance at the group ahead.

“Does everyone know where they’re going?” he calls out and Pete, Wes and Libby are so far ahead they just wave back. Kylie stops in her tracks.

“I thought we were paying
you
for the tour?” She tilts her head to the side.

“Go, I don’t want you to get fired.” I wave my hand to him, but he shakes his head.

“Not a possibility,” he tells me. “Kylie, I’ll be five minutes behind, I have confidence you can make it down the hill by yourself. Plus you have your friends with you.” A big breath releases out of her mouth and her hands go to her sides. I’m getting ready to find smoke rushing out of her nostrils and ears, like the animated movies.

“Fine. But you can bet I’ll be asking for a refund.” She turns and her friends link arms with her while they start down the path.

“Zach, we can talk about this later. I don’t want you to get in trouble—” I raise my hand in the air to stop this snowballing effect of our nonexistent relationship.

Linking his hand with mine, he tugs me forward and I fall into his arms.

“My job is the last thing I’m worried about. Tell me, what are you so apprehensive about?” His hand cradles my head as he peers down at me. I remind myself to fight, but it’s becoming so much harder while I’m in the protection of his arms.

Shaking my head, he holds me steady. “It’s stupid and nothing.” I can’t believe I actually discredit my feelings; this is exactly what I would do with Nate. So that I wouldn’t anger him and we wouldn’t end up screaming at each other for hours on end, until he would nail me with the last cut-throat insult that would shut me up for good.

“Marisa, trust me … please.” I hear the true and genuine words, but my heart is still healing from the last break. I’ve known him all of what, four days, had three real conversations with him. “Look at me,” he pleads and I raise my eyes to his. The blue irises search in mine for some form of understanding, but I see the blankness in them. He has no idea; I’m not the average run of the mill girl who is able to believe everything he says—that girl left me years ago.

I swallow and for some reason, the bravery I had until Nate slammed it down with a thousand-ton weight, breaks through. “You left me,” I whisper and his whole face falls. “I know I shouldn’t be upset, but I was—am.” I break free from his grip and walk to the outlook again, distancing myself from him and the freeing emotions he brings out of me.

Soon warm arms encase around my body and I feel his muscular presence against my back. “First of all, never apologize for your feelings.” His voice so stern, I don’t want to disobey him. “Turn around,” he instructs and my body twists. “Give me your phone.” He holds his hand out, waiting patiently. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion as to why he would want my phone. I mean, we should have exchanged phone numbers, but that ship has sailed.

Digging in the front pocket of my jacket, I take it out and hand it to him. After it’s in his hands, I realize how trusting that small act is, to just hand over your cell phone to someone, but I like it. “Here,” he holds it up and low and behold there’s a text message that I didn’t notice this morning.

Zach – Sorry I had to leave, but I promise I’ll make it up to you. Tonight for dinner if anything.

My mouth falls open and my eyes stare at him with embarrassment, and maybe forgiveness. “That wasn’t there this morning.” I attempt to fight the reasoning as my face flushes with heat.

His lips turn up and he nods. “It was—I left it before I left. Now, I hope you aren’t mad that I initiated the exchange of our phone numbers for us.” He bites his lip and all I want to do is run into his arms and bite it myself. He swapped our numbers without any initiative from me; this is the total opposite of what I thought this morning. As stupid as I feel, I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time.

“Oh.My.God. I’m such an idiot.” A flash of Libby’s call waking me up and never going through my phone for any missed messages. “I’m sorry, Zach.”

“No need to apologize. In fact, I don’t want to hear the word sorry out of your mouth again.” That pressure of being so perfect, so pure lifts from his words. He’s willing to accept my mistake and how I’ve pushed him away this morning.

He roars in laughter, making a couple walking down the path to turn their attention to us. Waving his hand in apology to them, he focuses back on me. His eyes pouring out conviction that I can bank and rely on him. In this moment, the fear that Zach will hurt me like Nate fades a little. “Marisa, I wish I had time to explain so many things right now, and I will tonight if you’ll let me. I’ve never felt so attached to someone I hardly know. It’s crazy, but you do something to me and I’m not sure what it is.” He honestly conveys his own sudden feelings and I could be a puddle on the ground with how his words warm me all over. “Say yes to dinner again and we’ll figure the rest out.” His hands grip my shoulders, waiting for my answer.

As much as I want to say no and finish this trip to go home, I can’t. I open my mouth to tell him no; I won’t allow myself to get hurt, because with the heart swelling reactions he gives me, I’m positive I’ll be the one laying in a bed with tear-soaked tissues surrounding me when it’s over. I nod, pushing back the tears of fear that rest so close to escaping.

“Say it. Say you’ll have dinner with me tonight.”

“Yes,” I quickly answer, only to be rewarded with Zach’s lips on mine. He presses them lightly, gauging my reaction. Once I snake my tongue through the seam of his lips, I can almost feel him smile before opening and mingling his tongue with mine. It’s so sweet and innocent, as though we’re in middle school having our first kiss while playing spin the bottle. Zach changes course quickly, picking me up and propping me on the guardrail while his tongue pushes deeper into the warmth of my mouth. Fisting my hands in the back of his jacket, he steps between my awaiting open legs. For the briefest of seconds, I forget I’m in a public national park, with tourists seeing a very public display of affection. Zach allows me to not fear what others might think of me, if only for a few minutes.

Closing the kiss myself, I whisper to him, “Zach, there are people around.” He just shakes his head with a beaming smile lighting up his face.

“I don’t care, Marisa. If you’d let me, I’d sneak you behind that tree and I’m positive you wouldn’t give a shit who was around.” He winks playfully, because after only one night, he found those spots that ignite my body, ones Nate never knew existed.

“Tempting,” I say as his forehead lands on mine and his hand plays with the end of my braid. “Really, you’re going to get fired if you’re caught having sex with one of your customers.” His eyes deflect from mine for a second, but come back stronger.

“Let’s go and get this tour over with. By the way, I just changed plans. I’m not picking you up tonight.” His strong hands pick me up by my hips and then he places me down on the ground.

“Why?” I worry he has to do something with work.

“Because you’re coming directly to my place.” A sly smile encases his lips and I only want to kiss it off.

“I have to shower and be presentable for a date, Zach.”

“You can shower at my place. Actually my shower is big enough for two, so don’t worry.” He lightly chuckles and I deny myself the pleasure of jumping in his arms once again. “Sorry, Marisa, I’m abducting you for the day and probably night, too.”

“Okay,” sneaks out and my hand flies up to cover my mouth.