Love & Hate (Book Two: Love) (9 page)

We kiss for a few minutes before Holden breaks off our intimate interaction. “I better let you get home.”
“Yeah, it is late. Thanks for the therapy sesh.” We had named our pool and gym time my therapy session because in many ways it was exactly that, I was healing mind and body.

“
Goodnight Paige.”

“
Night.”

I watch Holden walk toward his SUV, which is parked several rows away. I am just about to get in the driver side of my truck when I see him. He is standing next to his truck watching me with a look of pure rage. Just like the other night his back and shoulders are bowed forward, making him look terrifying. His face is dark and doesn’t even resemble the person I once loved.
Oh shitballs, I need to get out of here and fast!

I quickly get in and start up my truck, heading toward home. The drive from the rec center to my house is pretty short, maybe five minutes at the most. The entire drive I can’t shake the image of Cutter standing in the parking lot watching me. I know he saw me kissing Holden. Part of me is glad. I want him to know that I am moving on, but the other part of me feels the pain that was all over his face.

I pull into my driveway and see a pair of headlights pull in behind me. I say a silent prayer that it is Millie just now getting home but I know deep down that it is him. I don’t immediately get out of the truck; I try to steady myself for the conversation that is coming.

I get out of the truck and dig around my purse to find my keys. I don’t look up when I hear his door slam shut. I slowly count to ten in my head, reminding myself to remain calm no matter what is said.

I find my key and walk toward the front door. I don’t look at him I just keep moving. “Are you stalking me now Cutter?”
Damn it Paige, what happened to remaining calm?

“
So what if I am?” He growls in a low tone.

I make a half grunt, half gasp noise at his response and open my front door. I attempt to shut it in his face but his large foot stops the door hard sending it flying back banging into the wall. Cutter pushes forward into the house in one large step, coming chest to chest with me. I hurriedly step backward trying to put distance between us.

“
What do you want Cutter.” My voice is a bit shaky but I try to act brave. I’m not scared of Cutter physically. I know he would never lay a hand on me, but that doesn’t mean he can’t shred the remaining bits of my heart.

“
I saw you tonight Paige. I saw you with him.” His face still is dark and his body is still tense with anger. Looking at him sends a shiver down my back.

“
So?”
Oh you’re asking for it now.

“
What are you doing?”

“
What do you mean? Why am I swimming with Holden? Simple really, I am working on getting my strength back in my leg.”
Avoidance has never worked with him in the past it only makes him angrier.

“
Cut the shit Page, what are you doing with him?”

“
Oh you mean why was I making out with Holden?”
Stupid, stupid girl.

“
YES!” He shouts stalking forward backing me up against the large leather recliner in the living room.

“
Well let’s see… he is nice to me, he treats me well, he cares about me and oh yeah he has doesn’t lie to me!”
I hope your happy now because shit has now officially hit the fan.

Cutter lets out a rough and staggered breathe which shocks me; I thought he would have raged after my confession.

“
Are you sleeping with him?” He scrubs his hands over his face now as if he is so tired he can barely stay awake.

“
Excuse you. That is absolutely none of your business.”

“
Are you?”

He clearly could give a shit less if he is crossing a boundary with me now.

“
I’m not going to answer that.”

“
So you are?”

“
No… look it’s none of your business Cutter, just like it’s not any of my business if you’re sleeping with Laney.”

“
Do you want it to be your business?”

“
What? No. I’m just saying that we have both moved on.”

“
Have we?” His eyebrows are cocked up daring me to lie.

It’s my time to let out a long labored breath. “Seriously Cutter, what do you want from me?”

“
I want an answer Paige. Have you moved on?”

“
I’m trying to.” I don’t even think before I speak I just let the words tumble out of my mouth.

He doesn’t respond, instead he nods once and turns to leave.

“
That’s it? You barge in here demanding answers and then when you get them you just leave?

He stops but refuses to turn around to face me. “Don’t sleep with him Paige, you’re not ready.”
Who in the hell does he think he is?

“
Thanks for your concern but I think I can decide that for myself.”

He doesn’t reply; instead he just walks out the front door leaving it open. I hear him start up his truck and crank the radio. Puddle of Mudd’s Blurry blares from the speakers so loudly I can clearly hear every word. I stand in the doorway watching him. What I see as I stand on the front porch surprises me. Cutter has his hands draped over the steering wheel and he is resting his head on the top of it. Watching him I feel horrible about our heated exchanged. I take a step toward the truck, thinking I should talk to him, but as if he can read my mind he throws the truck in reverse and speeds down the street. As I watch the tail lights of his truck fade in the distance, a cold realization settles over me.
Cutter is just as broken as I am, maybe even more.

CHAPTER 9

“
Happy birthday P!” Millie is jumping on the side of my bed excitedly.

“
What time is it?” I know it’s early because it’s hardly daylight outside my bedroom.

“
It’s 7:45. Which means your late!”

“
How can I be late when it’s still first thing in the morning Mills? What are you even doing up? You hate to wake up early, which is why this friendship works out so well.” I grumble at her.

“
Well today is a special exception because it’s your twenty-first birthday and it is Halloween. So it’s really a two for one special occasion.” She grins at me.

Yup, my birthday just happens to be on Halloween, scary I know. Last year my birthday was pretty lame. My parents and I celebrated at home. Two years ago Cutter had thrown me a surprise party at his frat. I know your twenty-first birthday is supposed to the best birthday ever and all that, but I just don’t feel in the mood to celebrate.

Luckily, I have had the good fortune of not seeing Cutter since the night he followed me home from the gym. I haven’t heard from him either, but I still dream of him almost every night. Tanner had tried to talk to me about Cutter recently in philosophy class, but I told him it didn’t matter. I think he was actually going to defend him which pissed me off, but Tanner gave up easily enough and has yet to bring it up again. Cutter’s crazy alpha male possessiveness of me just didn’t make sense. He had a girlfriend and besides that he didn’t want me. He had made that perfectly clear when he left to come back to school and I was alone in a hospital room fighting for my life. Thankfully, Cutter hasn’t scared Holden off. I’m not sure exactly where things are going with Holden and me, but it feels nice. So for right now I’m just going to enjoy myself.

“
So what are you going to wear tonight?” Millie asks me, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“
Oh I decided to go with my Black Swan idea.” A few weeks ago I came up with the idea. I had found this awesome bustier and black tutu. I planned on doing my makeup really dark and sexy and I was going to top the whole outfit off with dark stockings and a really pretty black garter set I had bought at Agent Provocateur. The best part of the outfit though is I can wear flats so my leg won’t get too tired.

“
Perfect! My outfit came in the mail yesterday and I am pumped!”

Millie was going as a naughty nurse, which was classic Mills. I could just see her in the skimpy white outfit and her beautiful red hair; she will drive all the boys wild for sure.

“
So what’s the plan then?”

“
Well let me tell you! We are going to start out at the sorority biad and then we are going to head to The Station after that. Holden and Brooks are going to meet us there.” The Station was a bar that just so happened to share the back alley way with our house. It was the largest one on campus; the entire downstairs was a dance club.

“
Wait, how are you going to get into the bar?” Millie’s birthday wasn’t until December.

“
Fake ID of course.” She smiled and flashed me a card that looked surprisingly real.

“
Mills I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“
Don’t worry about it P. Most the time they just turn you away and if not I figure a trip to jail can’t be that bad. I think it will make me well rounded.” She says smiling ear to ear.

“
Alright. If you get arrested I will come bail you out.”

“
Sounds good to me. Now get ready for school we have crap to get done!”

This was either going to be the most fun night of my life or the worst one ever, the jury was still out.

“
We look hot P!” Millie screamed in my ear as we waited in the line to get into the bar. Pretty much Thursday through Saturday there was a line down the block to get into the bar. Millie was right though we did look hot. She was every boy’s fantasy in her naughty nurse outfit that came equipped with its very own stethoscope, which Mills has put to use a few times this evening.

“
Yes we do!” I reply back to her. I was shockingly comfortable in my outfit that didn’t have much to it. I’m pretty sure my butt was barely covered but I was rocking it.

“
Hey you two, up here!” I heard the huge burley bouncer yell at us as he pointed in our direction.

“
Us?” I squeaked.

“
Yes, get up here.”
Oh crap he probably knows Millie isn’t of age.

Mills and I jump out of line and walk to the front. I contemplate continuing to walk right on past him and down the block.

“
ID’s.” He says.
Oh no here we go!

Millie and I hand him our ID’s. He looks at them and hands them back to us.

“
Tanner says to come see him as soon as you get in there. Enjoy ladies.”
Oh holy crap, I thought I was going to have a heart attack just now.

Mills and I make our way through the thick crowd to the front of the bar. I can see Tanner making drinks as fast as his hands can move. He is dressed in a neon tank top that says GTL on the front and he is wearing the most hideous light blue shorts. He is trying to be a dude from Jersey Shore, and it is hilarious.

“
Well, if it isn’t my two favorite ladies!” Tanner says not even looking up at us.

“
Hey Tanner!” Millie and I say in unison.

“
What are you dolls drinking? It’s on me tonight in honor of my Lil Sis’ birthday.”

“
Rum and Diet.” I tell Tanner.

“
Shots.” Millie replies.

Tanner laughs. “Got it.”

He makes us four shots of Tequila. They taste horrible going down but I did it. Millie and I stay in the upstairs part of the bar drinking and laughing with Tanner while he works. The bar is crazy busy because it is Halloween. Most of the girls are dressed in something totally short and totally tight. The guys’ outfits run the gamut from scary to silly. The people watching in the bar is amazing.