Love in the Time of Cynicism (30 page)

Before I dress, I pick out some moonlight white nail polish from mom’s beauty cabinet and spend ten minutes painting my toes for the first time in so long. I even go the extra mile and file them down to perfect crescents, then apply clear coat once the polish is dry. I spend a few minutes lounging around like a real teenage girl, towel twisted over my hair, reading some shitty magazine found under a pile of school work. I notice it’s an issue of Pop Scene and remember sitting in Lord of the Fries with Rhett; a slow smile spreads over my face.

At six fifteen, I pick out my date outfit. The outfit that’ll be on my floor tonight, I realize with a small smile. The choice I make is simple and girly and, I think, a tad sexy. A gray high-low skirt that shows off my freshly shaved legs with a white cloth belt and a tight magenta blouse hugging tightly to my newly-established curves. For my ears, I put in three diamond studs followed by a silver dove, leaving the last three open. And I curl my hair, spending more effort and time on it than I have in years, until it falls in looping waves to my shoulders.

When I’m completely ready to go, I stare at myself one last time in the mirror. For the first time, after pampering more than I ever would on any normal day, I feel like a proper girl. My hair catches the light incandescently, the gossamer trails of my dress wave ever so slightly with the heat on, and everything has come together perfectly.

Sky honks outside my house and I dash out.

I pull open the door and her jaw drops. “Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
Oh my god
, Rhett is going to
flip
for you!”

Chapter Eighteen – And the Innuendos Make Sense

We reach Ebony’s at 7:03 and I check my appearance once more in any mirror in sight before getting out. Sky reassuringly pats me between the shoulder blades until she sees Brian and heads in quickly to meet him. I take a deep breath, admiring the sunset against the windows to compose my beating heart.

I push open the glass door and see the back of Rhett’s head in the crowd. The lights are dim and the stage is lit up. Music filters through the atmosphere, a mix of techno and classical. There must be a power battle upstairs between two clashing musical forces.

Rhett turns around and his eyes lock on mine.

Suddenly it’s only the two of us there in the coffee shop where we met.

His amber eyes trail over my body as he steps closer. He’s wearing a new, custom tailored gray blazer over his light blue button down with a skinny black tie I’ve never seen before. He’s gone all out for our night and the thought makes my heart flutter with happiness.

Rhett rests his hands on my hips and looks over my body slowly in a way that makes me flush with warmth. He drops his mouth open a bit before breathing, “Wow. Seriously, you look…wow.”

“You’re not so bad yourself,” I tease lightly, confident with myself as my lips find Rhett’s in a warm welcome kiss. I run my thumbs under the silken lapels of his new jacket. “This is very nice, by the way.”

“Yeah?” He pulls back and lets his fingers linger on the end of my ribs.

“Yeah,” I confirm. I lean in closer and bite my lip. “I imagine it would look better
off
of you, though.”

He kisses my neck lightly and sucks in a breath, “God, I love you.”

I lead him to a plush leather chair and he slouches onto it. As Ebony takes the stage, I sit on his lap and throw my arms around his shoulders. Feeling bold with my heightened levels of personal pampering, I brush my lips from the edge of his sharp jaw line and down his neck, the taste of his skin lingering as Ebony begins to speak.

Rhett inhales sharply as my trace up his leg and hip. “You are being
extremely
distracting, my love.”

“I love it when you call me that,” I murmur softly as a poet takes the stage and lets words flow from his lips. I remove my arms from around him and curl my knees to my chest. “But I’m sorry for, ah,
distracting
you.”

On the contrary, I actually love leaving him like this. “Not a problem.”

Ebony’s laugh brings us back to the room. “The most handsome half of those two entangled young people will be our next reader. He’s a regular here, so give him a warm welcome.”

The crowd claps and Rhett extricates himself from under me, leaning in tight and pressing a kiss on my cheek before whispering, “There’ll be plenty of time to distract me later.”

“Is that a promise?” I bat my eyelashes innocently.

He laughs, winks adorably, and takes the stage. “Hey, guys. This one’s called ‘A Poem for a Girl’ and I wrote it quite some time ago.”

His eyes meet mine, a smile flirting over his lips, and he speaks.

she wasn’t quite what I expected

when love knocked at my door

in fact, she was different

than all I’d seen before

when I used to think of love

she wore tight clothes and heels

but now when I see love’s face

that image becomes unreal

now love’s got multicolored hair and piercings

she wears her brother’s old clothes

love can talk circles around me

and we she looks at me, time slows

the moral of the story, I guess

is when love comes up to you

greet her with arms wide open

and whisper, ‘I love you, too’

Rhett trots back to our seat as I blush madly. The spotlight’s still on him when he kisses me. The crowd erupts into whistles, Sky’s loudest amongst them, and Rhett laughs. He waves the spotlight away and we settle back in.

“Perfect, as always,” I commend as I rest my forehead on his shoulder.

“Not as perfect as you.” His fingers draw ticklish circles on the nape of my neck.

“Come on.” I roll my eyes and grin. “I thought we were past the ‘no you’re more perfect’ phase in our relationship. Try some more sophistication and we’ll give it another go.”

“I accept your challenge.” His voice drops low and rumbling and he purrs sensually into my ear, “When we met, I saw how perfect you were and I fell in love with you. And then I realized you were far from perfect and I loved you even more because of it.” He stops, looks me in the eyes as he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “How was that?”

I’m speechless as Ebony takes the mic and announces, “Our next reader is a newbie continuing the tradition of wooing his lady with a poem. Brian Ward, everybody.”

Rhett and I clap in sync and I can feel his biceps flexing against my back. Brian’s awkward and uncomfortable as he takes the stage, adjusting the microphone to compensate for his gawky height. His blonde hair is slicked back and he wears a bowtie in respect for the magnificence of the occasion.

He reads a sweet and sincere but utterly unremarkable for my best friend and she greets him with open arms once he’s finished, thrilled beyond her wildest dreams. They spend the rest of the night holding hands and exchanging cute words. He orders her drinks and it’s nice to finally see Sky with someone who respects her and likes her for who she is.

As for Rhett, he’s entranced by the poets who read after Brian. He’s trying not to get too, um, excited before we go back to my house and I enjoy myself by watching him watch them. His eyes light up at the flawless choices of words rhythmically pounding from the stage. For once, the poems of love and loss and beauty and heartbreak manage to hold my attention, even the ones put forth by notoriously horrible douchewads. Our hands are twined together as poet after poet takes the stage. Rhett wraps me into several rounds of thumb wrestling before the readings end with resounding applause from the audience. The lights turn up and we stand. Excitement, suppressed during the day, bubbles through me as I smile at Rhett. He’s obviously antsy as he bobs from foot to foot.

“Del, Rhett!” Sky calls to us right before we leave. Brian’s holding her hand tightly and it’s refreshing to see him a respectable distance and not groping her at every opportunity. “It was good seeing the two of your tonight, considering everything’s about to change.” She waggles her eyebrows suggestively and punches me on the arm like we’re fifth graders about to embark on an epic mission for our teacher.

I roll my eyes. “You crazy kids better get going; it’s nearly
nine thirty
, won’t your babysitters be worried about your safety?”

Sky stares at me, un-amused, and looks between me and Rhett before smiling briefly with a wish of good fortune. “Be safe, youngsters. But not too safe, if you know what I mean.” She winks and Brian laughs awkwardly, unaccustomed still to Sky’s blatant comfort with sex and sexuality. She leans in and huge me with one arm. “Good luck. Remember my advice. No missionary.”

The two of them leave as I turn red.

Rhett squeezes my hand and asks, “What’d she say?”

“Nothing.” I shrug. “Some tips, I guess. Ready to go?”

“Back to your place?”

I bite my lips, confidence diminishing by the second. “If that’s still okay with you.”

All of a sudden, he lifts me off my feet and plants a firm kiss on my lips until I’m giggling with his levels of public affection. He grows serious and says, “There’s nothing I’ve wanted more in my life than to spend tonight with you.”

I take Rhett’s hand as we reach my house. He shoves the door open and shuts it behind him, pulling me closer until our bodies touch.

He kisses me softly and asks, “What are you thinking about?”

“Honestly?” I bite my lip, embarrassed. For the past few hours, the only thought on my mind has been getting him upstairs and being able to be with him like we never have. He nods and I say, dropping my voice low because I know it makes him crazy, “I’ve been trying to remember what your abs look like.”

“Oh?” He lifts an eyebrow. His eyes graze, unabashed, over my body and I can’t stop myself from blushing. “Well then-” his voice is a tempting rumble in my ears “-why don’t I show you?”

I nod and smile and lead him up the steps. My heart races against my ribs, nervousness swiftly being replaced by excitement. We reach my bedroom and I take charge, like Sky told me to, for once. I grab him and bring his body to mine. My fingers knot in the curls at the nape of his neck as I press my lips hungrily to his. I allow my inhibitions to slip away and run my hands down his chest until they stop at the hem of his shirt.

Rhett pauses as my hands feel over the cloth of his shirt. “Are you sure you want to do this? Because if you don’t…just, tell me if you want to stop and-”

“Shut up,” I breathe against his lips. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Well then,” he laughs. Then his palm finds the doorknob and turns and we’re in my bedroom. Neither of us hits the lights but there’s moonlight filtering in through the sheer curtains, illuminating him in ethereal light. “Did you
clean
for me, Cordelia Kane?”

I roll my eyes. “Of course I did. I’m sort of a mess, if you haven’t noticed.”

“You’re my mess, though,” he persists.

Then his fingers ghost to the chilled zipper on the back of my blouse and something deep and foreign lunges through me. I clasp myself to him because I can’t get close enough as he drags the zipper slowly down my back. Rhett takes a small step back as my blouse falls to the ground and, instead of feeling exposed and awkward at showing him a body I’ve never quite been comfortable in, I feel free.

Everything makes sense as I slip out of my skirt and Rhett appraises my bare chest. “Wow.” I giggle and he goes on, “Seriously.”

“Do you want to…?”

I trail off and take his tentative hand in mine, lead it to my collarbone and let go. His strong fingers fall to my breasts and my nerves set on fire at this new touch. His fingers experimentally squeeze and move over me and he makes a soft guttural sound that most definitely isn’t a word. Taking this as a queue, I press gently on his chest and he folds onto the bed, my bed where I’ve slept for years and have never thought of as anything special until Rhett is sitting there, eyes wide and heart beating fast.

He takes his hands from me to remove his shirt and I’m instantly aching for the warmth and perfection of his touch. Then his shirt is tossed to the floor and I have to stop myself from going slack jawed.

I allow myself to look at him, the flawless shape of the muscles I’ve felt through every embrace and the utopian tan of his skin glistening in the pale light. “It’s like you’ve been photo shopped onto my bed. Absolutely ridiculous.”

Then he lies down and pulls me on top of him. I straddle his hips and kiss him energetically, breathing heavier as his mouth moves from mine and down my neck. I can feel his teeth lightly against my skin as his fingers lock on the lacy latches of my new bra and the sensation makes me mad with a new primal desire far within me.

Rhett blushes heatedly under me as his fingers struggle with my bra and admits, “I can’t get it. Never done this before.”

I roll my eyes though I’m as red as he is, thankful for the dark, and help him unlatch the new bra. I fling it away to the floor and am immediately self conscious. Nobody has ever seen this much of my body until now and this insane intimacy is embarrassing in the best way possible.