Love Inspired January 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: Bayou Sweetheart\The Firefighter's New Family\Season of Redemption (29 page)

He dug his hands into his pockets. “If not, I'll be there for you.”

His words touched a deep spot in her heart. She lingered on his scruffy jaw, noticing the tension in his face. The conversation had drifted from his concern about Gina, and she wondered if it had been purposeful. “I don't want to stir up problems again, but we were talking about Gina before Neely called.”

He gave a faint nod and stared at the carpet. “Right. I'm at a loss. If Renee won't open up, I can only accept that everything is okay, even though my gut tells me it's not.”

She didn't have an answer. Nothing she could say would alter the worry she saw in his face. She recognized her own worry about things that might never happen to him. Many firefighters survived years of service without fatal injuries.

“I suppose this is a time I need to have faith.” He raised his head, his gaze capturing hers.

“Without faith, I would have fallen apart with Adam's death. I survived. Yes, a bit war-torn. A bit uncertain, but I survived, and Joey and I are living a good life.”

He studied her a moment before he rose. “This time it's my turn to hug you.” He moved closer, his hand reaching for her.

She lifted herself on one foot, melting into his arms, nervous and uncertain, but loving the gentle feel of his strength holding her close. When she raised her eyes, she observed a look of longing on his face. Fresh hope charged through her with each pulse beat.

His lips eased closer, and though she wanted to step back, her heart didn't let her move. When his mouth touched hers, warmth filled her chest as she leaned into the tender kiss. His soft lips moved against hers before he eased back with a sigh.

They looked at each other a moment before reality set in. He helped her safely to the chair and stood above her, wearing an expression she didn't know how to read.

He finally spoke. “I believe this is the time I should say I'm sorry.” His gaze lingered on hers.

Her emotions darted from joy to alarm and back as she sat, speechless.

He took her hand. “But I can't say I'm sorry, Ashley. I really can't.”

She found her voice. “I don't expect you to.”

They both released a sigh, and when they looked at each other, laughter bubbled from her throat.

Devon joined her. “Then I should say thank-you.”

“I've never been thanked for a kiss. This is a first.” And part of her wished that this was one of many firsts. “You know I think the world of you. I love your company, and Joey adores you.”

“Do I hear a but?”

She nodded. “But we both have a lot of issues that need resolving, and...”

He crouched beside her chair. “I don't want to lose your friendship over a—”

“No, Devon, I don't, either.” She leaned forward and rested her hand on his shoulder. “I'm not ending our friendship. I'm reminding myself that I have things to deal with before I can...”

“Fall in love?”

“No. That's not it.” She was a bit confused, recalling her promise not to jump into a relationship that couldn't be. “Before I can make a commitment, I guess.”

“I can live with that, Ashley.” His hand covered hers, his finger brushing the back of her hand. “We both have problems. Let's deal with them one at a time. One day, who knows.”

“One day.” She shifted her other hand and rested it on his bristled cheek, feeling the prickle of his whiskers and a rush of joy. For that brief moment, she felt whole.

Chapter Eight

D
evon's eyes drooped for lack of sleep, but
he had no choice. Wednesday at nine he was to pick up Kaylee. He couldn't
disappoint her. He'd make sure he got to bed early tonight. He'd reviewed his
plan until he felt confident Renee couldn't back away from the answers he needed
to hear. The only other solution was that Gina greeted him when he arrived.

He spotted the neat brick house, lawn freshly mowed and a few
flowers in beds along the front. His palms grew damp as he pulled into the
driveway, but he knew what he had to do. He turned off the engine and opened the
car door.

As he stepped out, Kaylee came through the front doorway, her
overnight bag in her hand. His mouth sagged as he watched Renee give him a wave,
say goodbye to Kaylee and close the door. His arms dropped to his sides,
startled at her abrupt appearance.

“Hi, sweetheart.” He managed to grin at her before his
attention shot again to the closed front door. “What's wrong with your aunt
Renee?”

“She's late for work.” She scooted past him and hurried to the
passenger side.

He followed her, took her luggage and set it in the backseat,
then closed the door. He stood a moment watching his planned dialogue fade into
dust. Shaking his head, he walked back to the driver's seat. Before he slid
inside, Renee came out the side door.

She gave him a quick glance as she swung open her car door.
“I'm late, Devon. Could you hurry?” She motioned him to back up and then slipped
into her car, started the engine and began a slow roll down the driveway toward
him.

He thought of standing there, forcing a confrontation, but he
noticed Kaylee watching him, her expression filled with confusion, and he
thought better of it and slipped inside the car. He turned the key and backed
into the street, pulling away as Renee sped off in the opposite direction.

When he got his wits, he managed to reach over and pat Kaylee's
leg, offering her the best smile he could manage. “How was your week?”

She told him about playing with a friend down the block, having
pizza for dinner one night, and detailed a TV show she'd watched on the kids
channel. He only half listened, his mind reeling with his failed plan and
longing to talk with Ashley about what had happened.

Kaylee stopped her chatter, and he wondered how long she had
been silent. He hadn't noticed. He needed to get a grip. “What do you want to do
today?”

She shrugged. “I don't know.”

He didn't know either, and though he didn't have to entertain
her, he had the urge to help her enjoy the time with him. His sleep could
wait.

“Let's go to a bookstore and buy some new books for you, and
maybe we can find some harder puzzles somewhere.”

“Okay.” Her tone perked up, and he relaxed, slipping into his
thoughts while she played with the radio dial, punching buttons, listening to
part of a tune and trying another station.

They pulled into a mall that had both a toy store and a
bookstore, and he unlocked the doors and met her on the passenger side. Inside
the bookstore, she wandered from row to row, scanning the books. He studied a
few, looking for ones that would help her learn to read.

“Here's one, Kaylee. I think you could sound out the words.”
He'd noticed the short, rhyming words. Cat. Hat. He tucked the book under his
arm.

“I have this one, Daddy.” Kaylee showed him a book with a
monkey dressed in a birthday hat.

“Can you read that one?”

She shook her head. “Too hard, but Aunt Renee reads it to me at
night sometimes before I go to bed.”

Aunt Renee again. “Doesn't your mom read to you?”

She frowned a moment. “A lot of time she's sleeping.”

That didn't sound good, but he knew better than to prod more.
“We can buy this one.” He pointed to the book he held. “So you can practice
reading words.”

She grinned and dived back into the other selections. After
she'd decided on two more, they paid the cashier and headed for the toy
store.

Inside, he located the puzzles, and once again, Kaylee studied
the pictures. They discussed which ones were too grown-up and which ones would
be fun but still challenging. Recalling Joey's love for puzzles, Devon shifted
to another shelf that displayed ones with larger puzzle pieces, one with cartoon
trucks and another with barnyard animals. Perfect. He stuck them beneath his
arm, too, and when Kaylee found two she wanted, they paid and left the
store.

On the way home, she flipped through the books, finding letters
she knew and sounding out words as best she could. He listened, but again his
concentration was on the situation with her mother. Gina wasn't doing well
still. He'd hoped she would improve during the time she'd been living with her
sister. She'd resided away from their home nearly three years, living with
Dwight and Renee out of the goodness of their hearts. He'd hoped life would get
back to normal for Gina and for Renee. Her husband had to be a saint.

When he arrived home, Devon knew he needed to get out of the
funk he was in. Kaylee lived with a mother who spent days bound by depression.
She didn't need a father who couldn't enjoy life.

Kaylee opened a puzzle and emptied it on the floor. While she
was occupied, he headed for the bathroom to wash his face and hands. He needed
to wake up and be a fun dad. His mind clicked with possibilities and, of the
options, he chose one Kaylee would like. He headed for the kitchen and pulled
out a cookbook. He had only one, and it looked new. His cooking was mostly
limited to frozen dinners heated in the microwave, although he had to admit his
homemade spaghetti had been quite awesome.

He found a recipe and dug around the cabinets for the
ingredients—flour, sugar, cocoa, shortening. Surprised, he even found a can of
baking powder. He avoided checking the expiration date. Gina may have purchased
it years ago.

Before he found the measuring cups, Kaylee bustled into the
kitchen.

“This one's a good puzzle, Daddy.” She nestled beside him,
eyeing the counter to see what he was doing.

He searched in a drawer for cups. “Why is it good? You like the
picture?”

“It's harder, but I can do it, I think.” She gave him a
quizzical look. “What are you making?”

“A surprise.”

“For me?” Her eyes lit up.

“Sort of, but you're here now, so it's not much of a surprise.”
He tickled her side, and she jumped.

“What is the surprise?” She slipped the flour bag closer and
tried to sound out the word.

“What's your favorite treat?”

“Hmm?” She tilted her head the same way he'd seen Ashley
respond. “Cookies to dunk in milk.”

“I'm making you milk.” He gave her a wink.

“No, you're not, Daddy. That's silly. Cows make milk.” She sent
him a huge grin that warmed his heart. “You're making me cookies.”

Hearing her cheerful voice filled him with pleasure. Why
couldn't he be playful like this all the time? “I guess it's no longer a
surprise, is it?”

“I don't care 'cuz you're making my favorite.” She turned the
sugar bag around and pointed to the letters. “
S. U. G. A.
R.
”

“Right. That's
sugar.
” He sounded
the letters as he pointed to each one.

“Sugar.” She mimicked him, pointing and sounding the word. When
she finished, her interest returned to the baking. “Can I help?”

He envisioned the mess, but it would be worth it. He'd never
tried baking with her, but she wasn't too young to learn. He gave her a hug
before finding a clean dish towel, tying it around her waist and getting a stool
from the hall closet. “Now you're ready.”

He helped her measure and let her mix. As the batter plopped
out, he scooped the misplaced ingredients from the counter and returned them to
the bowl. Concentration showed on Kaylee's face, and he almost laughed as she
frowned and pursed her lips, engrossed in the task.

* * *

Once the cookies were in the oven, Kaylee sat at the
table and stared at the oven window anxious to taste her first baking attempt.
When she asked for a glass of milk, he sat one in front of her, and then
provided a sandwich of chicken with mayo. He joined her, eating one, too. As
they ate, the buzzer sounded, and he managed to waylay her from dropping her
sandwich and pulling out the cookies to cool. When he finished, he joined her
again.

She stretched her neck and peeked at the counter as if she
could see whether or not they had cooled. “Are they done now?” He gave up and
slipped a warm cookie onto a napkin and set it in front of her. She grasped it,
dipped it into the milk and proclaimed it the best cookie of her life.

Devon watched her, thrilled at her jubilance. Today he realized
making her day enjoyable with simple activities, even lessons in baking, could
uplift them both. “What do you say we take some cookies to Ashley's house and
give the puzzles to Joey. Can we do that?”

She thought a minute. “Can I tell them I baked the
cookies?”

“You sure can.”

She nodded in agreement and as she finished the cookie, he
packaged some of the treats and rounded up the puzzles for Joey. He'd learned
from today. He hoped the positive attitude stuck with them both. He found it too
easy to slip into the doldrums.

* * *

Ashley's pulse skipped when she noticed Devon and Kaylee
heading up her sidewalk. She hadn't seen him since the kiss, and since then, her
concern had multiplied. She liked him, admired him and cared, but...every day
that passed without hearing from him sent off an alarm. Had he been injured or
worse? No one would think to let her know. Why would they? The situation
confused her. Joey adored him, and Devon would make a perfect father. Kaylee
needed affection, a life that had rhythm and solidarity, a marriage would give
the little girl a more secure feeling, based on what she'd learned about Gina's
instability.

But...

The doorbell's jangle was followed by Devon's voice calling
through a gap in the doorway.

“Come in.” Her pulse skipped as he entered. Kaylee slid in
beside him, and instead of the girl's usual cautious look, her expression seemed
more open. “How are you, Kaylee?”

“Fine.” She glanced at her dad, then grinned. “We brought you a
present.”

“You did?”

The child nodded and reached up for the package Devon held
along with a paper bag with a toy store logo. Something for Joey, she suspected.
Kaylee carried the package to her and waited as she opened the sack and pulled
out the container of cookies.

“Did you buy me cookies?” Ashley knew they were homemade and
suspected the child had helped make them.

“I baked them myself.” She glanced again at her dad, who
grinned but slipped in an unnoticed shrug.

“By yourself. Wow. Can I try one?” She lifted the lid while
Kaylee encouraged her to take a bite. She did, letting the girl see how much she
liked them. “These are the best cookies I've ever had.”

“I know.” Pride filled her face.

Devon gave her a poke. “You should say thank-you for the
compliment.”

She gave him another look, longer than the last. “Okay.” She
turned to Ashley. “Thanks.”

“You're welcome.” She lowered the container. “Would you like
one?”

Devon gave her an approving nod, and Kaylee grasped a cookie
and took a bite.

Before Ashley could get the cookies into the kitchen, she heard
Joey's call from the second floor. “He's awakened from his nap. It's about time
or he won't sleep tonight.”

Devon motioned to the staircase. “I can get him for you.”

“Would you?” Relieved she didn't have to maneuver the staircase
again, she gestured for him to go ahead. As he ascended the stairs, she rested
her hand on Kaylee's shoulder. “Want to come to the kitchen with me? You can
tell me how you made the cookies.”

“Okay.” Kaylee followed her into the kitchen, walking as slowly
as she did on crutches.

Ashley's heart stirred, witnessing the girl's eagerness to talk
about her cookie-making. Such a simple activity but one that she'd enjoyed. If
only Devon could find more ways to include Kaylee in his life. Seeing the child
at ease lifted Ashley's spirit. She listened as Kaylee described the measuring
and stirring. She did admit her daddy helped when she slopped the dough, and
Ashley chuckled and said she'd done that, too. By the time Kaylee had moved on
to the shopping spree with her daddy and the new books and puzzles they'd
purchased, Devon reappeared carrying Joey.

As soon as he spotted Kaylee watching him, Devon set Joey down
and shifted to Kaylee where he gave her a wink. “We have a present for Joey,
too.”

Joey's attention perked. “Present.”

Devon nodded. “I set it on the chair in the living room.
Kaylee, will you get it and give it to Joey?”

She skipped off and Joey pattered off behind her. In a moment,
he returned with jigsaw pieces in his hand. “Puzzles, Mama.”

“Your favorite. That's a nice gift.” Kaylee carried in the box
lid and Ashley eyed the photo. “And it's trucks. Can you make it so we can
see?”

“Kaylee can help.” He looked at her, and Kaylee seemed
pleased.

The children trotted back to the living room, and Ashley
motioned to a chair. “Have a seat. I was making a cup of tea. Would you like
one?”

“Sure. Any kind. I'm not a connoisseur of tea.” He gave her a
wink.

Though he looked pleasant enough, she spotted something in his
eyes. Curious, she poured water over two tea bags and slipped a cup in front of
him with a saucer between them for the used bags. “Anything new? Did you talk
with Renee?”