Love Inspired Suspense January 2014 (75 page)

“No.” Josh pulled her hands from her face, wrapping her icy fingers in his warmth. She didn't want him to touch her, but she was powerless to pull free. “He wasn't in trouble. He was discharged from the army, thinking about coming to school, wanted to see if I thought he had a prayer of playing ball if he came in as an older freshman.”

“He was talking about the future?”

“He was. And when I told him there was a girl—” Josh swallowed hard “—he said he'd heard there was a party happening across campus and he'd see me there later.” He slipped closer, his voice low and urgent. “I think the overdose was an accident. It had to be. Nobody who talks like he did ends his life just a few hours later.”

Answers. How long had he held the answers her family wanted so desperately? “Were you ever going to tell us? All this time we wondered, and you kept it from us.” She jerked her hands away, but his grip tightened.

“Up until tonight, I was convinced I'd killed them both. That it was my fault. Until I saw you again, it never crossed my mind that you didn't know he didn't intend to die. Until tonight, it was all about me. I admit that. I couldn't see outside of myself to realize other people were hurting. My head knew it, but my heart didn't.”

Training kicked in, masking her emotions. “Survivor guilt.” Just like her own guilt. In spite of everything, in spite of the hatred and anger she wanted to feel, Josh's former words rose up. “You didn't fail him. Or Lauren. You had no way of knowing what would happen to either of them.”

“I know that now.”

“And you didn't fail me, either.”

His fingers squeezed tighter. “I don't—”

The chime of an incoming text message stopped him.

Josh pulled his phone from his pocket, regret seeping into his expression. Surprise overtook his other emotions and he rose, breaking the connection between them. “It's Cameron.”

Andrea's heart fluttered between disappointment and shock. “Why is he texting you?”

“All of my soldiers have my number.” He scrolled the message. “He wants to see you.”

“Then why not call me?”

“Does he have your personal number?”

Good point. “When?”

Josh took a step back and flashed the screen at her. “As soon as possible. At the counseling center. You should call Detective Simmons.”

“And scare Wade off?” The kid was so skittish he'd run if he caught sight of anything out of place, and then they'd be right back where they'd started. “Josh, if we've got a prayer of stopping this, we've got to keep him in one place long enough to tell me the truth about what's going on. I'm meeting him. Now. And I'm not taking the police.”

“You're not going alone. I'll drive. That kid might be scrawny, but he's strong, and if he doesn't show up alone or this is some sort of trick...” He headed for the door with long strides. His hand was on the doorknob before he turned to face her. “I'm not losing you now.”

TWELVE

O
f all the dumb chances he'd ever taken, this may well rank up there with the absolute dumbest. And it wasn't his life he was messing with.

It was Andrea's.

For the twenty-seventh time since they'd left her apartment, Josh checked the rearview mirror to see if anyone had followed them. He felt only slightly safer driving an anonymous rental car than he did driving his pickup, but there was no telling what their faceless enemy knew or where they lurked. His left hand gripped the wheel, his right elbow resting on the console, pain pulsing with each heartbeat.

Beside him, Andrea puffed out a deep breath and leaned her head against the seat back. In spite of everything, she wasn't scanning the road around them, wasn't looking for danger. She'd climbed in the car without question, laid her life in his hands and assumed he was man enough to handle the situation.

In the wake of what he'd confessed just moments before, her level of undeserved trust gripped Josh's heart. His grasp on the steering wheel tightened. “I'm sorry.”

There was a slight rustle as she shifted in her seat. “For what?”

“Everything.”

Oncoming headlights played on her face for what seemed like forever while she thought. “My brother battled things in his head that I'll never understand, things he was powerless to control by himself. Even if you'd broken your promise to Lauren and been there with him that night, you probably wouldn't have been able to stop him. He tried to fix what was broken by himself. He made his own choices.” She cleared her throat. “Maybe I'm starting to see that for the first time.”

“A tough lesson coming out of the chaos you're in.”

“Maybe.” She planted her feet in the floorboard and pushed back into the seat. “I should be the one apologizing. You probably thought I was pushing you away when I was trying to protect you yesterday.”

“What?” Where was this little bit of information earlier? Her revelation would have caused him to run right off the road if he hadn't been holding the wheel so tightly. “Trying to protect me? From what?”

“From them. You nearly got killed because of me. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you.”

Oh, how he wanted to pursue that. If things were different, he'd pull over right now and they'd hash out every emotion building in this relationship.

But now wasn't the time. Rather than follow this line of conversation down its inevitable road, Josh ignored the pain in his elbow and reached over to brush the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “How much sleep did you get before I showed up?”

She stiffened, then received his gesture as an acceptance of her apology and allowed him to change the subject. “Counting the thirty seconds I just catnapped?” A smile flickered on her face in the pink light of predawn. “About thirty seconds. You?”

“You beat me by a whopping twelve seconds.” Josh relaxed into the seat. Only a handful of headlights shone in the rearview mirror along 185 on this early morning. None seemed suspicious. “Any oh-dark-thirty theories on what Cameron's little wall locker code might mean?”

Andrea didn't answer. Her breathing had fallen into the even, shallow rise and fall of sleep.

Josh smiled and let her doze. Soon enough he'd have to wake her up and face whatever it was that Cameron had for them. They'd need to be on top of their game.

Not for the first time, he rethought the decision to go meet him without notifying the police. Uniforms could have stayed far enough back not to arouse Cameron's flight response, and it would have made Josh feel a whole lot better to know someone besides him had Andrea's back. Someone with guns.

His phone rested in the cup holder between the seats. He really should call Detective Simmons. The woman was probably sound asleep, but chances were she'd had more rest than the occupants of this car combined and could have a team in place in the next ten minutes, before he and Andrea even hit the Victory Drive exit.

“Don't even think about it,” Andrea muttered.

A quick glance showed her eyes still closed.

“You already handed over our one link to whoever's doing this to us.” She sat up in the seat and stretched her arms over her head, words drowning in a yawn. “If he takes off scared again, chances are he's not coming back, and then we've got nothing.” She dropped her hand to the side of the seat and it rested there, taunting him, daring him to reach over and pick it up.

Fourteen years in the military and he couldn't keep himself more vigilant than this? It was foolish to approach her when she was still in danger, to let his emotions take control the way they had tonight. He should go back through basic training and learn a little more discipline. Then her words filtered into his consciousness. “Our link to whoever is doing this to
us?
” She thought of them as a team.

“He's your soldier. And it seems like that last shot wasn't aimed solely at me.” She drew her eyebrows tight. “No pun intended.”

Andrea was more nervous than it seemed if she was walking the fine line between humor and sarcasm again. Forget every alarm screaming in his head. He eased his hand over and wrapped his fingers around hers. “It's going to be okay.” He hoped his words sounded more convincing to her than they did to him.

“If I didn't believe that, I'd walk up the middle of Veterans Parkway at high noon and let them wipe me out. It would be a whole lot better than looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life.”

Josh squeezed her hand one more time and let go, even though he wanted to hold on like a lifeline. “Let's hope it doesn't come to that. There's too much left for us to talk about yet.”

Silence settled in again as they passed the airport, runway lights glistening like Christmas in July. “Josh?”

He studied the lines on the road before he answered. The tone of her voice set his guard high. “Yeah?”

“Why did you pick tonight to tell me?”

The soft question coupled with several days' worth of no sleep loosened the gag on his typically guarded emotions. “I've carried that with me for years, and it stood between us. I had to know if it would make you walk, had to get it out of the way. I don't want to lose you. Not now.” He fell silent, the only sound the hum of the wheels on the road. “And here I've dragged you out without any backup. You keep me from thinking straight.”

Andrea remained quiet, and Josh wondered what was going through her head. Finally, she said, “You're trying to make atonement. That's why you're here.”

“If you'd have said that yesterday, I'd have agreed. I fully believed it was my fault Lauren and Brendan died and now God wanted me to make it right.” Josh squeezed the steering wheel, choking the voice of the old lie that threatened to creep up once again. “Now I'm here because I want to be. We've come too far for me to walk out on you now.”

Another car appeared behind them, and Josh slipped back into the moment at hand, whipping off at Victory Drive without using the blinker. The other car slipped past on the way to post. “Far as I can tell, nobody's following us.”

“That's good. But what's waiting for us when we get there?”

She fidgeted with the door locks, then opened and closed the glove box, all nervous energy. “I never dreamed I'd see a day when I was afraid to go to my own office.” She sat back in her seat, fingering the hem of her pale gray workout shirt.

Without taking his eyes off the road, Josh reached over and took her hand again, determined not to let go. “It's going to be okay.”

As soon as he touched her, she stilled. “I'm choosing to believe you.”

The next couple of minutes passed in silence. Josh fought hard to keep his foot even on the gas pedal. He wanted to slow down and take in every bit of the surroundings, but creeping along the nearly deserted road would make them stand out like a rookie in Fenway Park on opening day.

Beside him, Andrea leaned forward, gripping his hand tightly as the parking lot came into view. “Empty.” She sat back as they slowed. “He's not here.”

Josh slowed the car early and pulled into the gas station next door, parking near the road. He let go of her hand to switch off the engine and fought the intense urge to pick it up again.

“What are we doing?” She sat back and clasped her hands between her knees.

“If we pull up over there, any interested party who drives by is going to know exactly who we are. We sit here, maybe it won't be so noticeable.” He tapped the screen of his phone. “I still think we should call—”

“I want this over with, and if it means I have to do something reckless, well then, call me reckless.” She turned to stare at the gas pumps, treating Josh to a view of the back of her head. “Besides, I've got you on my side.”

Her words struck Josh somewhere between his rib cage and his heart, like a line drive he once took to the chest. It had knocked the wind out of him and laid him flat on his back, filling his vision with blue sky and black spots until he could get a good breath again. He swallowed the old habit of telling her again how wrong she was to trust him. Closing the space between them, he ran his fingers through the back of her hair, separating the waves and wrapping one ringlet around his index finger. It was softer than he'd expected. “I'm not going anywhere until this is over or God says my part in it's done.” He surprised himself by believing the words.

Andrea turned, trapping his fingers in the curls at the base of her neck. When her eyes met his, every ounce of exhaustion faded into the background, every bit of caution faded. His fingers tightened reflexively as if they were afraid she'd pull back and force him to let go.

“Josh, I... You're...” The whispered words sparked electricity into the air.

Josh didn't really hear what she said, he was so caught up in the way her lips moved. The upholstery of the seats rustled beneath them as he awkwardly pulled her closer with his left arm and leaned to meet her halfway.

She didn't resist. But just as he could feel her breath against his lips, she tensed and scrambled backward, tearing his hand from her hair and fumbling for the door.

Had she lost her mind? “Don't go charging—” The door slammed behind her, and she took off at a run. At first, he thought the mad dash was to get away from him, but then he saw the man skulking toward her building.

Pressed backward into his seat by the danger and helpless to do anything from where he sat, Josh reached for the door handle and hit the ground running.

* * *

“Dutch!” Andrea shouted across the space between them, realizing too late she'd just exposed herself to anyone who might be watching.

The older man stopped in the middle of the parking lot, twisting like he was going to bolt across Victory Drive and into the tree line on the other side of the road.

Andrea jogged toward him, gulping deep breaths and fighting to regain her footing.

Even though she was completely out in the open right now, her priority was getting Dutch out of harm's way. If something happened to anyone else because of her, she'd give up without a fight.

When she reached Dutch, he tucked his fist into his oversize coat pocket like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Alarm bells shot off in Andrea's ears and all thoughts of angry assailants fled. She propped her hands on her knees and tried to catch her breath. “Tell me—” she gulped in a breath “—tell me I didn't just catch you drinking.”

Confusion scattered across his face before his usual open expression set in. “I'm a better man than that, Miss Andrea.” Lines tightened his face, and he shoved his hands into his coat pockets as footsteps pounded the pavement behind her.

Josh drew up beside her and asked Dutch, “What are you doing here?”

Dutch took a step back and eyed the younger man warily. “You're still here?”

Josh flicked a look at Andrea and directed the question to her. “Tell me again why you trust him?”

Andrea finally caught her breath and straightened, thinking irrationally that she sure wasn't in the shape she used to be in if she couldn't sprint two hundred yards without her lungs burning. “He's safe.” She shoved her hair behind her ears and looked toward Josh, although she couldn't quite meet his eyes, too afraid of what she'd see there.

Josh nodded at Dutch before he spoke to Andrea. “Don't you think it's a little less than smart to be standing here in the middle of the great wide open?”

“Why would it be dangerous to stand in her own parking lot?” Dutch's ears practically perked up. “I knew it. I knew something was going on.” He gripped Andrea's arm, and Josh stiffened beside her. “They came back after you, didn't they? Those guys who were here the other night. They're why I've been hanging around more this weekend, checking the place out to make sure it's safe.”

Andrea laid a hand on his and gently loosened his fingers from her wrist. “You can see for yourself I'm fine but Dutch, I need you to get somewhere else right now. The last place you want to be is anywhere near me. Especially out in the open like this.” She dropped her hand and turned at a sharp angle, making for the relative safety of her office, praying no one was pulling surveillance on her building.

“Miss Andrea!” A new voice bounced off the brick building.

Her fists balled against the cotton of her yoga pants.
No. No. No. Not one more person to be hurt. Please.
She turned. “Mr. Miller, you have to go back to the store. Now.” At best, Wade was going to run for the hills when he saw the parade trailing her. At worst, someone would die in the next two minutes.

The cup of coffee in Mr. Miller's hand dipped with the corners of his mouth as he huffed to a stop. “I'm sorry. Did I do something wrong?”

“You didn't do anything. But please. Go back into your store where it's safe.” Andrea turned to Josh as the stronger of the two of them, begging him silently to intervene.