Love Inspired Suspense September 2015 #1 (5 page)

“You should have called Thomas if you thought there was a chance someone was in your house.”

“But not you,” came out, and she wished she could take those words back. Even she could hear the regret in them. Cheri jumped up on the table and purred, then plopped down in front of Lydia while Brutus lay on the floor by her chair.

Jesse glanced out the window over the sink.

When she could no longer take the silence, Lydia made a decision. Right now she felt her life had shattered into hundreds of fragments. “I can't change what happened, but I'm asking you to put what happened right after graduation in the past. I could use a friend right now.”

He swung his attention to her, but she couldn't read anything in his expression. “What about Bree or Alex?”

“You knew me better than anyone did at one time.”

One eyebrow rose. “Did I? I used to think I did, but then you took off. One day you were here. The next gone and married.”

“I called you and left a message on your voice mail.”

“Yeah, at the airport right before you got on the plane to leave. With no real explanation.”

Stress knotted her shoulders and neck, the pain surpassing the ache from her bruised ribs. She remembered the tears she'd cried when she'd agreed to marry Aaron and leave. The disappointment on her father's face was engraved in her mind—a vision she couldn't shake even after all these years. She'd let everyone down, but mostly Jesse. He deserved better than her.

She swallowed several times, but still her throat was as dry as the ground in the midst of a severe drought. She walked to the sink and drank some water, then returned to the table, combing her fingers through Cheri's thick white fur. “I couldn't because we'd promised our parents we wouldn't tell anyone.”

“What? That you were eloping?”

“That I was pregnant with—Aaron's child.”

For a few seconds his mouth pressed together in a thin, hard line, and his eyes darkened. Then as though he realized he was showing his anger a shutter descended over his features. But she saw a tic in his jawline.

Finally after a long moment, he asked, “Where's your child? With Aaron?”

That he would even think she'd let Aaron have full custody of her child devastated her. She rose, gripping the edge of the table and leaning into it. “I lost my little girl when I was seven months pregnant. I had to deliver her stillborn.” She spun on her heel and stalked toward the hallway.

She heard the sound of the chair being scooted across the tiles, and all she could think about was getting away from him before she fell apart and poured out the pain she'd locked deep inside.

He caught up with her and clasped her arm, stopping her escape. “I'm sorry, Lydia. I know how much you wanted children.”

A houseful, she'd once told him when they'd talked about the future. “Dreams have a way of changing,” she whispered, remembering the few times she'd dated after her divorce from Aaron. No one had been Jesse. Instead, she'd thrown her life into her career and her love of animals.

“Yes, I know.” His hand fell away from her.

And she missed his touch. For a second, she'd felt connected to him again like when they were teenagers.

“Why didn't you come back to Alaska?”

“I was married to Aaron and I took that seriously. I wanted to make our marriage work even after our daughter died.”

“What happened?”

“He had an affair with one of his professors while I worked to support us and allowed him to go to college full-time.”

“He came back here a couple of years ago with an older woman as a traveling companion. He talked with Thomas but didn't get in touch with me.” One corner of his mouth hitched up. “Good thing, too, even though I didn't know all the details of your elopement.” He swept his arm toward the table. “I'll warm up some pizza while we talk about what happened earlier. Kate had herself worked up by the time I arrived.”

His softer expression coupled with his coaxing voice urged her to accept, especially because she was hungry. “That sounds nice. Food was what drew me out here in the first place.”

After Jesse heated up the remaining slices and fixed a cup of tea for Lydia, he sat across from her. As she took several bites, he finally asked, “Explain again why you initially felt someone had been in your house. I've taken a look around and haven't seen a forced point of entry. I was surprised you didn't have a dog or two until your assistant brought the cats.”

She placed Cheri on the floor, then took several sips of her warm tea. “I had Bree take both of my cats to the veterinary hospital for boarding. I didn't want her to have to deal with them and Kate. JoAnn, my assistant who brought them home, told me they were being thoroughly spoiled. Charlie and Cheri are siblings left at the back door of the hospital. One look into Cheri's green eyes and I knew I had to keep them.”

“No guard dog?”

She shook her head. “But Charlie growls like a dog, and anytime someone comes to the house, he's at the door growling.”

“That's better than nothing.”

“Yeah, but as soon as the person comes in, he runs and hides, whereas Cheri is all over the visitor. She's never met a stranger.”

“So that's why I've only seen her.” Flipping his hand at Cheri, Jesse relaxed. “I'm surprised you have cats. You always had a dog growing up.”

“The cats needed me.”
And I needed them
. It had been within a month of her arrival in Anchorage. She'd been dealing with a hostile sister, who was grieving but not expressing those emotions. Many nights she'd been up late cuddling Cheri and talking to her about her day. In those first months she and Kate had argued every day. At least now it wasn't as often.

“Tell me about going into your bedroom.”

“I didn't notice anything at first, but when I looked at my desk, I saw the top drawer was open about an inch or two. I always make sure I close drawers and cabinets. Remember when I fractured my wrist?”

“Oh, yeah. You told me you fell, not how.”

“I'd opened the drawer a few minutes before, then the phone rang and I was in a hurry to answer it, but I rammed right into the drawer and fell. It's become second nature to me to shut them now, which is why it stood out, but I couldn't find anything missing or out of order. I was upset, so I supposed I could have forgotten to shut the drawer. The night before Kate and I had a big fight over Connor. That boy isn't good for her, but she won't listen to me.”

“And you find that strange?” A grin twitched the corners of his mouth.

“Okay, you don't have to remind me about my dad and me. He changed so much after Mom left, and I could be stubborn.”

“You think?”

She narrowed her eyes and pinched her lips together but couldn't maintain the tough act. She started chuckling. “I seem to remember you could be quite determined, too.”

“Still am, and I'm especially determined to catch this person setting off the bombs. If you don't mind, I didn't check out your room earlier. May I look at it?”

“Sure.” She frantically reviewed how it looked and breathed a little easier when she remembered everything was neat and put away—except for the clothes on the closet floor.

“Do you want me to check it out now?”

“I have something I need to do first, then you can.”

“I don't care if it's messy.”

“I do.”

“A mess you made?”

“No, Kate did when she was getting something for me to wear home from the hospital. The clothes I came to the ER in were given to the police and then I hope thrown away.”

“Nothing is going to be tossed until this case is over. The police are scouring each bomb site for any clue to who is behind this. Because this bomber is so erratic we can't predict where he will go next.”

For a few seconds the sound of the laugh track blared through her mind. She shook. “So you think he will strike again?”

“Yes.”

The one word froze her as though a blizzard swept through her kitchen. And somewhere in her memory she might have a picture of the killer. If only she could remember...

“Are you okay?”

Jesse's question pulled her from her thoughts. “I want to remember what happened at the bistro, but the more I try, the harder it is.”

“Then don't try. It will come to you.”

“But in time to stop another bombing?”

He reached across the table and took her hand. “We're working on the case. A lot of manpower and resources are going into this. You might not have seen anything. Don't do that to yourself.”

He was right. She had enough guilt to handle without adding to it. She and her dad never really reconciled their differences before he died. That was why her relationship with Kate was so important. She didn't want to have that regret again. She could even apply that to Jesse. She didn't see their relationship returning to the way it was, but she wanted to mend it enough to remain friends.

“I'm trying, but then I think of the people I was acquainted with who died in the bombing and it's hard not to put pressure on myself.”

“You suffered a severe concussion. It takes time for your brain to heal.”

She inhaled a deep breath and was reminded it would take time for her ribs to heal, too. “Give me a couple of minutes to pick up the clothes. My bedroom is the last one on the right.”

A minute later, she bent over in her closet to scoop up the clothes, but as she straightened, she winced. She was constantly rethinking how to move to keep from sending pain through her chest. Not an easy task when she was used to being on the go. After hanging the shirts and pants up, she surveyed the floor for any signs that meant someone besides her sister could have been in here. Everything appeared as she'd left it. At least from what she could remember.

She emerged from the closet to find Jesse in the entrance while Cheri sauntered into the room and jumped up on her bed. His gaze captured hers, and for a moment she couldn't think of anything to say. Transfixed by his presence, the seconds ticked off until he finally dragged his attention away and took in the room. He crossed to each of the windows and checked to make sure they were locked. She should have thought of that. When he walked to the desk and opened the top drawer, she tensed, but he didn't touch or say anything.

“Nothing seems unusual. The windows are locked, and I can't find any evidence of tampering. Who has a key to your house besides Bree?”

“No one except Kate and Bree.”

“Nothing outside under a rock or something?” Lines at the corners of his eyes deepened, drawing her full attention to their color, a heart-melting caramel, her favorite candy.

“No. Kate lost her key once, and she had to call me at the animal hospital to come home and open the door.”

“When?”

“Months ago, but I changed the locks since she never found it.” She started for the hallway, needing to put some space between her and Jesse. There had been a reason she'd kept her distance between them this past year. Seeing him made her regret even more what she did, and now they were different people. After Aaron, she didn't trust easily. While she'd dedicated herself to their relationship, he'd been having an affair that destroyed their three-year marriage.

Kate opened her door across the hall from Lydia's room. Her sister glanced from her to Jesse. “I can get you some bedding for the couch in the living room. It's very comfortable.”

Lydia stood in front of Jesse, who was still in her doorway. “What do you mean, Kate?”

“Jesse said he would stay if he thought someone had been in our house.”

“But we've decided I overreacted and no one was. He doesn't have to stay.” Although the idea had merit, and she would have asked if she really thought someone had been in the house, it was still clear he was uncomfortable around her. She'd offered a partial explanation of what happened years ago, but they really hadn't discussed it.

“You might feel all right, but I don't. What if you had died?” Tears filled Kate's eyes, and she whirled around and disappeared into her bedroom, slamming the door.

FIVE

L
ydia stared at the closed door, understanding the emotions her sister was going through. She was still experiencing a gauntlet of feelings, ranging from anger to dismay to sadness, each striking her over and over.

Jesse cleared his throat. “Lydia, go talk to her. I'll wait in the living room with Brutus.”

“Thanks. She was pretty quiet at the hospital. At least now she's talking about how she's feeling.” She approached the bedroom, hoping she could find the right words to say to her sister. She didn't want this to make a bigger mess out of their relationship.

After rapping on the door, she fortified herself with thoughts that could bring them closer together. Something good could come out of this tragedy.

“Go away,” Kate shouted.

Lydia knocked again.

Suddenly the door was wrenched open, and Kate's usual glare pierced through Lydia. Right now her sister's anger was front and center. It was hard to reason with her when she was like this. Had Lydia been this difficult for her dad? Was this why they had always butted heads? “I'd like to come in and talk.”

“Why? You never listen to me. You aren't my parent.”

“No, I'm your guardian, but that has nothing to do with what we need to talk about.”

Kate stepped to the side and let her enter the room. At least she didn't slam the door this time. Lydia sat on her bed, exhaustion creeping in.

“Why did you really call Jesse? Other than my initial reaction, there wasn't any indication someone had been in our house.”

She fisted her hands. “Only a few survived the bombing. What if the bomber comes after you? What if...” Kate's voice thickened, and she swung around and stared at the laptop and papers on her desk.

“I don't remember anything. I'm not a threat to him.”

“But you could be.” Kate's back was still to Lydia.

She pushed off the bed and closed the space between them. She started to touch her sister's shoulder, but her stiff stance told her to keep away. “If it'll make you feel better, I'll have Jesse stay the night, but we need to move on and put this behind us because that solution is only temporary.” She almost laughed at that statement. She didn't know if she'd be able to do that, but she didn't want Kate to be afraid. “He has a job to do. He's on the task force looking for the bomber. I want him to be a hundred percent rested.”

Kate slowly turned. “So do I, but he has to sleep somewhere. Why not here?”

Because I can't deal with that. I wronged him and every time I see him that's reinforced.
“Let's take it one day at a time,” was all Lydia could come up with, which really wasn't a solution. But she didn't have the energy to hash this out with Kate tonight. “I'll ask him to stay...” an idea popped into her head “...or better yet, I'll have him leave Brutus here if he's willing to. I've treated Brutus, and he knows me. The dog could sleep in your room.”

“I'm not the one the bomber would be after. You are.”

“How about Brutus sleeps in the hallway between our rooms?”

Her sister's frown melted. “Okay.”

Lydia left Kate to talk with Jesse. She wasn't sure he would agree, but all she could do was ask. When she entered the living room, Jesse knelt next to his Rottweiler and was rubbing his stomach and play wrestling.

“You've got a good dog. Well trained.”

Jesse peered toward her and smiled. “Yeah. We work well together.”

“Kate is still scared even though I told her we didn't think anything happened here. I believe it's all leftover emotions from the day of the bombing. With our dad dying last year, she had her legs knocked out from under her. My death would have been a second big blow in a short time.”

At the mention of her possible death, Jesse's eyes widened slightly and his grin dissolved. “I can certainly understand that. I was a foster kid. You not only have to deal with your parents' death but living with strangers.”

As a teenager, Jesse rarely mentioned living with a foster family. In fact, he wouldn't talk about his past, something that had frustrated her because she wanted to know everything about him. “Would it be possible to leave Brutus overnight with us? It might put Kate's mind at peace.”

“What about tomorrow night and the one after that?”

She pushed her fingers through her hair. “I'm hoping when nothing happens she'll begin to calm down. Right now I'm taking it one day at a time.” Because that was about all she could handle. “That way you can go home and get a good night's sleep. The couch is okay but not as good as a bed. I know you've been working long hours...” Her voice faded as Jesse rose and cut the distance between them.

“I'll do what is needed. If you want me to stay, I'll make do with the couch. I love to go camping, and the hard ground is way worse.”

His very nearness robbed her of any reply. She moistened her lips and stepped back. “She was happy when I suggested Brutus sleep here. It'll be easier to transition back to being just the two of us.” And easier on her. She hadn't spent this much time with Jesse since they were dating.

“Then we'll do that. He doesn't eat until the morning. I'll bring his food over before I go to work. If there's a problem, call.” He slipped his card into her hand, his fingers lingering a couple of seconds longer than necessary.

His touch set off a myriad of buried emotions flowing through her. “I'll take good care of Brutus.”

“I know. I've seen you with the SAR dogs.” His gaze snagged hers and bound her to him as though with invisible ropes.

Her heartbeat accelerated. She turned away and headed for the front door.

Jesse called Brutus and put on his leash. “I'll take him for a walk since you don't have a fenced-in backyard. It won't take long.”

While Jesse and his K-9 descended the porch steps, Lydia made her way outside to stand and wait for them to return. In the darkness, she could study Jesse without him seeing. She always loved the fluid way he moved, usually as though he didn't have a care in the world. But then she'd seen him in action, quick to do whatever was needed.

When he ascended the steps with Brutus five minutes later, Lydia walked toward him and schooled her features into a neutral expression—at least she hoped, because light streamed from the open door.

“I'll need to come by early. We'll finish up at the bistro hopefully tomorrow and what remains will be for the crime scene techs to handle.”

“Everyone was accounted for?”

“Yes, finally. But Brutus is a bomb detector, and we're making sure we have all the pieces left. Any evidence we can gather will help us find this guy.”

“I'll be up early. I'll take Kate to school, then I'm going to the animal hospital.”

“I thought the doctor told you to take it easy.”

She chuckled. “You know me. When have I ever done that? I'm not staying long, but I want to check on the dog I operated on the day of the bombing. I know a lot of the staff want to see me, too. I promised Bree I would wait to go back full-time until next week.”

“Okay. I'll be here by seven thirty. I'll wait to leave until you and Brutus are inside.”

She strolled toward the door and glanced back. “Thank you.” Maybe they could be friends again. She hoped so.

Then Jesse said, “I became a police officer to protect others. Stay, Brutus.”

In other words, he was only doing his job. Jesse had a way of reminding her their time together as a couple was over. She knew that in her mind, but her heart was struggling with it.

In the living room, she watched him drive away, then switched off the lights and went into the kitchen to make sure there was water in a bowl for Brutus. In the garage she had an old cushion that she would use as a bed for Brutus. After he was settled in the hallway, she finally sank onto her bed. Jesse's parting words ran over and over through her mind. She couldn't blame him. She deserved them. She was a victim in one of his cases, and that was all.

* * *

After Jesse picked up Brutus, Lydia dropped off Kate at school, and then she drove to the animal hospital and parked in the lot on the side of the building. As she walked toward the front entrance, she stared at the bomb site where the bistro had been. She noticed Jesse's SUV near it. When he came to get Brutus, she'd invited him to have breakfast, but he'd declined. She wished he hadn't because she and Kate had argued about having the Rottweiler back that night.

Lydia hadn't slept much the night before, not because she was scared but because of Jesse. She hoped she could forget about him long enough to take a long nap.

As she entered the reception area, she came to a stop. Streamers and balloons hung from the ceiling with a large banner over the check-in counter. She'd mentioned to Dr. Matt Muller she was coming but wouldn't be staying. He and her dad had been good friends, but she never imagined Matt would do something like this.

When she looked behind the counter, the receptionist stood and started clapping. Others came from the back and joined in. Heat flamed Lydia's cheeks. She waved her arms. “Thanks. I'd planned on sneaking in, but this beats that idea.”

Matt opened the door to the hallway that led to the exam rooms and entered the reception area. “That's what I figured. We couldn't let you do that without letting you know how happy we are that you survived.”

Her assistant, JoAnn, followed him. “We all pitched in and brought goodies. The Lord was watching out for you. That's something to celebrate.”

“Hear! Hear!” someone shouted.

There was a time when Lydia hadn't thought God cared what happened to her, especially in those dark days when she'd lost her baby and realized Aaron wasn't really there for her, either. She went through the motions of worshipping the Lord, but she'd decided years ago He was too busy to listen to her prayers.

“Thank you. I'm not going to say you shouldn't have done this because I'm hoping JoAnn baked her cinnamon rolls.”

Her assistant grinned and nodded. “We have everything set up in the break room. I even made you some to take home.”

“Thank you! I'm going to check on Mitch, then we'll party.”

“He's a trouper. He's going home today.” Matt gave Lydia a hug. “And his partner, Officer Nichols, is getting better. We have a lot to celebrate.”

Like Matt she'd become attached to the SAR dogs and the K-9s that were partnered with a police officer. She'd enjoyed having Brutus last night. He was so well trained that he even got along with Cheri, while Charlie remained hidden under her bed, one of his favorite places.

“Who's taking Mitch until Jake Nichols gets out of the hospital?” Lydia headed for the back where Mitch would be.

“Jesse Hunt is coming to pick him up this morning on his break. Brutus and Mitch have always gotten along.” Matt stepped to the side to allow Lydia into the large room with cages for the animals.

“This is the time I wish I had a fenced yard. I'd have taken Mitch.”

“You could walk him. He'll need the exercise. And you can make sure he continues to progress.”

Lydia opened the cage door as Mitch struggled to stand. Before he hobbled two steps, she was next to him, kneeling down and petting the tan-and-black German shepherd. As she checked him out, he nuzzled her. “You're looking good, Mitch. Would you like to come home with me?”

The dog barked.

“That's your answer,” her partner said. “You should talk with Jesse about taking Mitch.”

“I think I will. I saw his SUV at the bistro. If he hasn't come by here, I'll go see him when I leave.” Having Mitch at her house would make Kate feel better—and if she was honest with herself, she would, too.

Matt glanced at his watch. “Let's go eat. My first appointment will be here in fifteen minutes.”

“How's Dr. Stutsman fitting in?”

“He's not you. A bit set in his ways, but at least he could help us while you're recuperating. He should be here soon.”

“He's seventy and prefers camping and fishing now.”

“Yeah, I know. That's all I hear about.”

Closing the cage door, Lydia chuckled. “He reminds me of my father.”

“Your dad was kind of set in his ways, too.”

Lydia's chuckle evolved into laughter. “You think?
Change
was not in Dad's vocabulary.”

“True. I guess you've spoiled me. I like going with the flow.”

Lydia clasped Matt's shoulder. “You've made this transition easier.”

At the break room, he paused. “Still want to leave after Kate graduates?”

She remembered telling him that when she'd met with him the first day. “I'm reconsidering.”

“Good. I'm too old to go through breaking in another partner.”

She studied the medium-sized man with salt-and-pepper hair and sharp eyes. “You're not old. You can't be a day over fifty.”

“Fifty-four, and thank you for saying that.” He indicated she go into the room first.

Lydia ate a bite from every dish brought and spent some time with the staff she'd come to care about. Maybe she could return earlier than she'd planned.

“I see the wheels turning in that mind of yours.” JoAnn presented her with the leftover cinnamon rolls wrapped in aluminum foil to take home with her.

“I've only known you a year, and you think you can read my mind.”

“I see the yearning on your face.”

Lydia's gaze fixed on Dr. Stutsman, who had come in a few minutes ago. She leaned close to JoAnn and whispered, “Are you two getting along okay?”

Her assistant turned her back to the room full of staff. “Sure. I can get along with a grizzly.”

“It's that bad?”

“Today's Friday. Aren't you coming back Monday?”

Lydia nodded.

“We're fine, but I've learned to appreciate you.” JoAnn winked and pointed toward the door. “You look exhausted. Go home.”