Love Is in the Air (15 page)

He himself looks perfectly chipper—gym shorts, jersey shirt, and hair still damp from the shower. Kevin's in line for breakfast. They did an omelet bar today, which is pretty cool, save for the fact that I'm really not hungry.

“Anyway,” Riley says, bursting through my sluggish thoughts. “Did you see what's on the schedule for tonight?”

“Not another talent show,” I mutter.

She laughs. “Nope. Better. We're going to see a circus!”

I look at her, raising an eyebrow.

“There's another show in town?”

“Not really. It's, like, an hour away. But I've heard all about it. It's supposed to be really good. It's about a penguin trying to get back to the Antarctic.”

“They made a show about that?” Tyler asks. “Also, Jennifer,
you're ruining your coffee.” He reaches across the table, slides my mug over to himself, and takes a delicate sip. The face he pulls is comically disgusted. “Ugh. Way too much sugar. You've officially turned this into candy.” He slides the mug back over to me. “Speaking of candy . . . how did things go with Branden after the show? I saw the way he was looking at you.”

I shrug. Out of habit, I glance around the dining room, but I don't see him anywhere. I didn't really scare him off, did I?

“Nothing happened,” I mutter. “He just left. Riley says I should man up and ask him out myself.”

“You could,” Tyler says. “I'm all for gender role reversal.”

At that moment I feel someone stand beside me. I figure it's just Kevin, back from breakfast, but then Tyler's eyes narrow.

“What do you want?” he asks.

I look over then, to see Sara, one of Megan's sisters, standing beside me.

“I'm just here to tell you, and I quote, ‘You should maybe find yourself another man.' ” She looks at me dead on when she says it; her accent is just as thick as her sister's, albeit a bit more annoying.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” I say.

She sighs.

“I don't want to drag this out. I really hate it when Megan makes me the messenger. But she says to tell you that she's done playing games. He's choosing her and there's nothing you can do about it.”

“Branden's a big boy,” Riley says, sticking up for me while I try
to untangle my tongue and my wits. “He can choose for himself.”

“And he did. Last night. At the trapeze rig. Where he and Megan were making out.”

“You're lying,” Riley says.

“Trust me, I like it about as much as you. Megan's vicious. I've seen what happens to the girls who get in her way. If I were you, I'd just let this one go. There are only a few days left. You don't want to deal with the fallout for the rest of your life.” She sighs again. “It's so stupid.” She gives me what looks like an apologetic smile. “I thought your act went really well, by the way. She never told me she stole the routine. You did better. But it's not a fight you can win.”

Chapter
Eighteen

S
he's lying,” Riley tries to
convince me for the hundredth time. “She has to be.”

I shake my head. We're walking toward the practice tent and all I can think about is Josh standing me up at the restaurant. I should have known Branden was playing me like that guy. I should have known this wasn't going to be the spring of love or spotlights. I'll be lucky if I make it out of this camp without making a complete fool of myself. How many people know about Branden and Megan already? How many people has she told?

“She's not lying,” I say. “It makes sense. It's why he never made a move. Megan said he thinks of me like a sister. Obviously, she was telling the truth. He fell for her. He told her about our routine. Clearly, he wasn't that impressed at the end, and he went for her instead. He just felt sorry for me.”

I feel sick saying it, but there's a note of truth in the words, like a part of me knows reason when I hear it.

Riley sighs.

“Just try not to think about it,” she says. “You've got an act to prep and a show to rock. Don't let one boy ruin your entire vacation.”

I nod, but that's easier said than done. First the trapeze, then Branden . . . it's like nothing I actually wanted to happen during spring break went right. I should have just stayed home. At least then I wouldn't be going through so much heartache.

“Come on,” she says, nudging me. “You still got me. I'll make sure you have a great camp. First stop: juggling practice till your fingers bleed!”

I try to smile and let her lead me inside the tent. I wish I could share her enthusiasm, wish I could just let it go as easily as she does. But all through practice, I can't focus on anything but my own thoughts. I can only go over last night and wonder where I went wrong.

Then, near the end of practice, it hits me: I didn't do anything wrong.

It's just that there was never any competition. Megan was always going to win Branden in the end—she was talented and smart and gorgeous. She'd already known him for years. She went for what she wanted.

Believing Branden might go for me had just been a lie I was telling myself. And that lie had finally died under the spotlight of truth.

•  •  •

It's hard to concentrate on anything besides my overwhelming desire to be anywhere but camp. Not even Riley and Tyler's antics can cheer me up. I spy Branden sitting next to Megan at lunch, and that just makes it worse. He looks over at me, once, and gives me a sad smile. I don't return it, just look back to Tyler and try to follow along with whatever joke he's telling. I don't even have it in me to pretend to laugh at the punch line. I just sit there and stare at the table and wonder if it would be a bad idea to call home and have my parents pick me up.

“You're really letting this get you down, aren't you?” Kevin asks.

I hadn't even noticed him sitting beside me, I was so out of it. He gives me a comforting smile.

“Yeah,” I admit. Both Riley and Tyler are totally caught up in their joke. It's like they're in their own little world.

“Well,” he says, “I wouldn't worry too much. You're a talented girl, and gorgeous. What you did onstage last night showed the mark of a true star. If Branden is too blinded by some silly girl, it's his loss, not yours. Any guy here would be lucky to call you his girlfriend.”

His words warm a side of my heart that had previously been numb. Had I ever been complimented by a guy like this? Told that I was talented and pretty? I mean, sure, he's gay, but that doesn't take away the sincerity behind it.

“You mean it?” I ask. I feel a little pathetic voicing it, but I'm not above feeling a little pathetic right now.

“Of course I do,” he says. “I thought that the moment I met you. You're going to be big, Jenn. You just have to start having some faith in yourself. I do. Heck, we all do.”

And then, in spite of everything, I smile.

“Thanks, Kevin,” I say.

“Of course,” he says. Then he leans over and wraps me in a hug.

“What did I miss?” Riley asks, poking her head next to mine.

I giggle.

“Get in here,” Kevin says, and pulls her into the hug as well.

“Lovefest! I want to join!” Tyler runs around the table and wraps his arms around us, squeezing tight.

I fall into a burst of giggles.

•  •  •

Even though I still feel a little crappy after lunch, and even though I
do
go call my parents, I don't ask them to pick me up. Instead I tell them that I'm having a great time and that I can't wait for them to see the show on Saturday. Which, once I say it, I realize is only two days away. Two days! I have to put an act together in two days! When I hang up the phone, Branden is almost entirely pushed from my mind. It's hard to worry about boys when you have a routine to practice. Even when said boy is as perfect and frustrating as Branden.

When I leave my room for the practice tent, my bad luck turns even worse. I run straight into Megan.

“You know,” she says when I've taken a few steps past her,
“Branden's a really good kisser. It's a shame he wasn't interested in you. Well, shame for you. It's definitely not
his
loss.”

I turn around, rage boiling out of nowhere. The last thing I need, however, is to get kicked out right now, so I try to keep the anger in check. With my luck, Leena's probably in her room, overhearing every word.

“Why are you like this?” I ask. “Are you really that sad of a human being?”

Clearly, that's not what Megan was expecting. She raises one perfect blond eyebrow and gives me a look like she's re-evaluating me.

“Is that really the best you got?” she asks finally.

“You think you're so cool,” I say, “but I've watched you in the cafeteria. The only people who'll talk to you are your sisters. So if
winning
Branden or whatever you think you're doing makes you happy, do it. I just hope you're actually happy.”

Then, before she can make a good comeback, I turn and storm off down the hall.

“Yeah, well, you're ugly!” she calls. I just shake my head and don't look back. She's not worth the trouble.

•  •  •

In spite of the anger that's still shaking through my veins, when I find Riley again I actually feel kind of good about myself. I've never really stood up for anyone before, let alone myself, and it feels nice. Empowering. Especially since I didn't sink to Megan's level; I never knew revenge on the high road could feel so good.

“You look . . . actually, I don't know how you look right now,”
Riley says. “You're a strange mix between smiling and vengeful. Like some evil cat overlord.”

I grin and pick up the juggling balls on the side table.

“I just had an
interaction
with Megan,” I say, tossing Riley a few balls. The other kids in the juggling tent have already starting practicing; the air is filled with music and the thud of juggling props.

“That explains the vengeful,” Riley says, tossing the balls back. This back-and-forth passing has become our warm-up; it's hard to believe that last week, I couldn't even juggle two balls by myself. “But where's the happy coming from? Did you punch her?” Her eyes light up at that, which just makes me smile harder. The idea of little Riley getting into any sort of fight is kind of hilarious. Though I'm sure she'd pack a punch if she tried.

“No,” I chuckle, “I didn't punch her. I just told her off and wished her well and left her in the hall.”

“That's . . . really strange. You do realize you're really strange, right?” She tosses the balls a little faster, and I hustle to keep up with the new speed. It's not the same tempo as the music, which really throws me off. “You're supposed to be all mean and witty, not give peace talks.”

I shrug, which is amazingly hard to do while juggling. It nearly makes me miss a pass.

“It just didn't seem worth it,” I say. “I'm not about to fight her, especially when I only have to see her another two days. After the show, she's history.”

“What about Branden?” Riley asks.

I drop the pass. The ball rolls away, but I don't go to catch it—we're juggling seven now, and if I run for the missed ball, I'll screw up the rest.

“What about him?” I ask.

“Well, you still like him, don't you?”

I open my mouth to say,
No, of course not, why would I like someone who played me like that?
but then I realize . . . I
do
still like him. For some strange reason, I haven't given up on him, not entirely.

“Ugh,” I say instead. I can't tell if I'm disgusted at him or at myself.

“That's what I thought,” she says. “You're not very good at hiding your emotions.”

“I don't want to talk about it, okay? Not right now.” I glance around. Although the other kids are all intent on their practice, the music isn't loud enough to drown out the conversation. I know it's no better than school—they're probably listening in, waiting to have something to gossip about later. “Anyway, what's the plan for the routine? We've only got two days.”

“Well,” she says, doing a quick spin in place and just making the next catch. “I was inspired by your singing last night.”

“I'm not singing,” I interrupt quickly.

“No, no,” she continues, “I meant more your moves. I think we should choreograph something, make it more of a dance and less of a normal juggling routine. I mean, how often do you see two chicks juggling together?”

“I don't know,” I say. “I'm guessing the question was rhetorical, so probably not very often.”

“Practically
never
,” she replies. “Normally it's just guys who do partner juggling. Girls are expected to be pretty gymnasts and wear sparkles.”