Love Is My Reason (12 page)

But Teresa Preston—happy now in the thought that everything might work out well, after all—hardly cared who shared her confident expectations.

“
Oh, yes, darling. And that
’
s another reason why I am so glad to have found you. You
’
ll be there to keep me company, when Celia marries David and goes away.
”

CHAPTER
SIX

Anya stood by
the ship
’
s rail, watching the cliffs of Dover grow every moment more distinct as the light mist lifted from the water. It was as though a gauze curtain rolled up on the next scene in her life, she thought, half frightened, half excited by the prospect.

Then David, who had been walking the deck of the cross-Channel steamer, came to a stop beside her and said,
“
The first glimpse of your future home, Anya. How do you like it?
”

She turned her head to smile up at him, and the wind blew a strand of her bright hair across her cheek.

“
It doesn
’
t seem quite real,
”
she said.
“
But then—nor do lots of other things. Sometimes I think I shall wake up in the room in the barracks and find I have dreamed it all.
”

“
Nonsense!
”
He rejected the idea almost violently.
“
You
’
re never going back there. You below to us now.
”
She would have liked him to have said
“
to me
”
. But that was a very secret thought which she must keep to herself.

“
We were lucky to get everything fixed up so quickly,
”
he went on after a moment.
“
I hardly expected the Consul to be so co-operative, or that it would be comparatively easy to get you a visitor
’
s visa and take you with us right away.
”

“
I still don
’
t understand it.
”
She smiled again and shook her head.
“
To cross a frontier was for us a sort of dream. Something one waited for and hoped for but never quite believed in. Something which came near perhaps but always retreated again, without explanation or reason or hope. For
us—”

“
Don
’
t say
‘
us
’
, Anya! You aren
’
t a displaced person any longer,
”
he insisted with almost
b
oyish eagerness.
“
It
’
s all going to be different now.
”

“
Oh, David
—”
She touched his arm lightly, almost
caressingly.

“
Why do you say,
‘
Oh, David
’
in that tone?
”
he wanted to know.
“
As though I don
’
t understand anything?
”

“
I didn
’
t mean that you don
’
t understand anything!
”
She was rather shocked.
“
Only that there is such a big gulf between your world and mine.
”

“
We
’
re in the same world now,
”
he pointed out.

“
Only you belong and I am a visitor,
”
she reminded him.

“
I
’
ve just told you that you too belong now,
”
he retorted with a laugh, and he ruffled her hair with an indulgent hand.

Then the others came up and intimate moment was over.

“
Well, darling
—”
That was Mrs. Preston who, in spite
of Lady Ranmere
’
s common sense arrangements and Celia
’
s definite hostility, always made a point of addressing Anya exactly as though she were her dear, accepted granddaughter.
“
How does it feel to be nearly home?
”

“
Wonderful,
”
Anya said, smiling at the older woman. And, for the hundredth time, she tried to find some way between the affectionate intimacy which Mrs. Preston craved and the tactful reserve which Lady Ranmere thought proper. If she succeeded to anyone
’
s satisfaction, it was certainly not to Celia
’
s. She gave Anya that cool glance of dislike which was so often in her eyes when she looked at the girl her mother so fondly tried to claim as hers.

“
How happy she would be to see me thrust out of their lives again,
”
thought Anya, with a sigh. And she was glad that Bertram chose that moment to take her lightly by the arm and say she must come and see the arrangements for the arrival and berthing of the ship.

Oddly enough, Bertram was the one with whom she felt most completely at ease. David caused her exquisite agitation because she loved
h
im
and must hide the fact. With his aunt she was never happily at ease because she knew instinctively that Lady Ranmere, while being kind and just to a degree, wished heartily that she had never come into their lives. Mrs. Preston was a loving but ever problematical influence, and Celia quite simply detested her.

With Bertram it was different. He liked her, in a careless, uninhibited way, and it was, she thought, a matter of complete indifference to him whether she were indeed Mrs. Pr
e
ston
’
s granddaughter or a stranger.

As they sauntered along the deck now, his air towards her was much the same as it would have been to Celia or his mother. But as soon as they were out of earshot of the others, he gave her that puckish grin of his and said,
“
I thought you might like to be saved the necessity of displaying further enthusiasm over a situation which must at best be agitating and at worst depressing.
”

“
I am not depressed.
”
Anya looked rather shocked.
“
I
am very grateful for all
—
”

“
I
’
m sure you are, dear child,
”
he interrupted.
“
But gratitude, though a very proper sentiment, is not one which raises the spirits.
”

She laughed at that. And though she did not offer to comment on his view of gratitude, she thought, not for the first time, that he was cruelly penetrating.

“
I
’
m glad you
’
re going to
l
ive with my masterful Mama for a time, you know,
”
he went on.
“
You interest me, Anya. Professionally, I mean. I
’
m going to try you out in something one of these days.
”

“
Try
me out in something?
”
She looked surprised and a trifle alarmed.

“
Don
’
t worry. It won
’
t be yet. But I shall make it my business to see something of you, even though I don
’
t actually live at home.
”

“
Where do you live?
”
she asked with interest.

“
I have a flat of my own in town. So has David,
”
he added
.

“
Has he?
”
She tried not to sound as though that interested her much more.
“
I wonder
—
”
She stopped, not
quite knowing how to put her query in sufficiently casual terms.

“
You wondered exactly what the set-up was?
”
he suggested obligingly.
“
Well, both of us regard my mother
’
s house as home. She has a rather nice place, you
’
ll find, in Buckinghamshire, which is a short way outside London. David and I quite often run down there for the weekend.
”

“
But you mean—David does not actually live there?
”

“
Not during the week. Nor do I. Though I do realize that isn
’
t quite so interesting,
”
he added teasingly.

She felt herself coloring and hastened to change the subject slightly.

“
And what about Mrs. Preston and Celia?
”
she enquired.
“
Where do they live?
”

“
About half a mile away from my mother
’
s place. Only a few minutes by car. You
’
ll see a lot of them. Whether you want to or not,
”
he added rather cryptically. And Anya found that she could not make herself ask what he meant by that.

There was silence for a few moments while they both affected to be interested in the activity on the lower deck. Then at last Bertram said,

“
We had better get back to the others now. We
’
ll be landing any minute.
”

The bustling scene as they disembarked half fascinated and half scared Anya, but nothing could eradicate her whole-hearted fear and distrust of the immigration officials. Rooted deep within her was the certainty that officials were capricious, all-powerful beings who, with a wave of the hand or a stroke of the pen, could alter the course of one
’
s life.

She
trembled violently when she had to approach the man who was examining her papers, and when he asked her some routine questions, a sort or paralysis of terror descended upon her.

“
I—don
’
t know,
”
she stammered.
“
I think
—”

And then suddenly David was beside her. And—with an understanding which seemed to her little less than sublime—he put a careless, comforting arm round her and spoke to the official on her behalf. She hardly heard his words. Only the
c
alm,
authoritative sound or his voice, which seemed to stand like a wall between her and despair.

She did not look up. She did not follow the progress of
’
the brief conversation. She only knew from the slight pressure of his arm that it was all right and she could move on now. And presently they were with the others again and Celia was saying in a tone of slightly distasteful surprise,

“
What is the matter with Anya? Why is she crying?
”

Only then did Anya know there were tears on her cheeks, and that she had torn a hole in one of the pretty lace handkerchiefs which Mrs. Preston had given her.

“
She was frightened,
”
David said briefly.

“
Of what?
” enquired Mrs.
Ranmere.

“Of something we wouldn’t
understand,
”
her nephew
replied drily.
“
But it
’
s all right. It
’
s over now. Isn
’
t it?
”
And suddenly he bent his head and kissed the side of Anya
’
s cheek.

“
Yes,
”
she whispered, and with difficulty resisted a wild desire to cling to him and kiss him over and over again.

No one commented further, though Anya could not imagine that the kiss was approved by either Lady Ranmere or Celia. But she did not care. A sort of defiant, rapturous satisfaction wrapped her round. He had kissed her, and all the way up to London in the train it seemed to her that she could feel the light touch of his lips on her cheek.

After Bertram
’
s talk of town flats an
d
country houses, she greatly feared that David might leave the party when they reached London. But her anxiety was unfounded. From one great railway station, as it seemed to her, they all drove through splendid and crowded streets to another station and embarked on a second railway journey.

“
Are you very tired, darling?
”
It won
’
t be long now,
”
Mrs. Preston assured her kindly.
“
You will soon be home. I wish you were really coming home to
me.
But at least you will be very near and we can see each other often.
”

Anya smiled and managed to murmur something graceful, though the knowledge that Celia glanced at her without favor made it rather difficult.