Love Is Overdue (7 page)

I didn’t say anything and
that’s when he turned and looked at me. “Are you okay?” He looked
concerned all of a sudden.

“
Yeah...” I let
my breath out. “Sorry I’m just...I’m fine.”

He didn’t look
completely convinced. “You sure?” he asked as I came up beside
him.

I nodded quickly, snapping
out of it for good. “What about...breakfast?” I suggested. “Can you
make me some breakfast?”

Ben smiled. “You got it,
baby...”

Ω

His breakfast
for me started with a simple fruit salad of oranges, bananas,
mangoes and papaya, tossed with a passion fruit syrup, a hint of
vanilla and a splash of lemon.

He handed me a bowl and then
took a bite of what was left in the dish he had mixed it in. “This
will help your buzz,” he said simply, leaning up against the
counter with me. “Sorry it’s not chocolate.”

I laughed and took a bite.
“This is perfect,” I admitted, licking off my spoon. It was
absolutely delicious. Exactly what I needed. “I’m sobering up
anyway.”

“
Hmmm...don’t
know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” he teased me, taking
another bite from his bowl. “You like pancakes?”

I smiled. “Yup.”

“
All right,
cool...” He turned back to his pantry, grabbing a mixing bowl and a
medium sized sauté pan. “These are my daughter’s favourite – I
usually don’t make this for anyone else...”

I smiled, remembering the
video of his where he made a batch of mouth-watering banana
pancakes, his adorable little girl assisting him as she
meticulously peeled and then diced a bunch of bananas for him with
a butter knife, just like a pro. It was absolutely
priceless.

“
I know...” I
admitted, before I could stop myself. “I saw the
episode.”

Ben laughed at that, though.
“Oh fuck, that’s right...” He stopped and grabbed a bunch of
bananas, tossing them at me playfully. “Then I guess you already
know what to do.”

I laughed too and then took
the station next to Ben and began my task of peeling and chopping
the bananas as he got to work on the batter.

He had a huge flat top so he
was able to fry up all the pancakes in one shot and it took no time
at all. He put me to work again flipping each one while he went to
work on sautéeing the bananas with some butter and brown sugar. I
watched, admiring his skills as he tossed and swirled the contents
of the pan, not even needing to use a spoon.

“
I think we need
to spice this up a bit,” he said then, turning to me. “What you
think?”

“
It looks
delicious,” I said, unsure of what he was implying.

“
Hmmm...” He was
debating something, and then he headed to the pantry and came back
carrying a half-full bottle of Captain Morgan.

I laughed. “Damn...that’s
not in the recipe,” I teased him.

“
I know, it’s
just for you,” he told me. “Watch ya eyelashes,” he ordered
jokingly, as he poured a splash of rum into the sauté pan and then
tipped it into the burner just until a ring of blue flames shot up
from the contents of the pan.

“
Wow, I feel so
special,” I admitted then, lifting the last of the pancakes onto
the platter next to me. “I can honestly say I’ve never had a man
flambé some bananas for me on a first date,” I teased.

Ben smiled. “I know.” He
grabbed a plate and quickly fanned out three golden pancakes on it
and then spooned a generous amount of the sautéed bananas over them
in one quick sweep. “This is actually more like third or fourth
date material.” He held the plate out for me and raised his
eyebrows apologetically. “I’m ahead of my game.”

But I just
rolled my eyes at him, taking the plate from him. “Shut up,” I
teased again. “You’re making me look bad now.”

“
It’s okay,” he
said simply, grabbing himself a plate. “Am sure you’ll be able to
make it up to me...”

I raised an eyebrow at him.
“Like how?”

He handed me a fork. “Don’t
ask.”

Ω

We sat down to
eat at a table in the corner of the restaurant. I couldn’t remember
ever eating anything as delicious as those pancakes, never mind in
the middle of the night, whipped up by a man who used the amount of
effort it took most people to boil water. How in the world was it
possible for this man to be single?

“
Seriously,
though...” I started, licking my fork slowly, and then feeling my
face go warm as I caught him watching me. “How can you not have a
girlfriend, Ben?”

He looked to be thinking
about my question seriously. “I told you...I’m too
busy.”

Somehow I wasn’t buying it.
“Come on...I’m sure that’s not it...When was your last
relationship?” I was being a little too pushy, I knew that, but I
couldn’t help myself.

He didn’t say anything right
away. He took a bite of his pancake, and chewed for another moment,
stalling again. Even watching him eat turned me on.

“
Three years
ago,” he finally admitted.

My eyes went wide. “Three
years?” I was a little shocked. “Your baby-mama?”

He let out a little smile at
me using the term again. “No, not my baby-mama. And her name is
Maria,” he teased me.

“
Hmmm...” I
smiled at him, unable to help myself. “So someone else
then?”

He nodded slowly. “It’s
just...I don’t know...” I could tell he was having a hard time
talking about it. “It was a really fucked up thing that
happened...and I don’t really like talking about it.”

My heart started beating
furiously again. I was pushing him too much. I decided to drop it.
“I’m sorry...you don’t have to tell me, I just...I was just
curious,” I told him quickly, trying to save myself.

But Ben gave me a little
look that seemed to tell me he wasn’t really upset with me. “It’s
okay...I can tell you, but...you may not like what you hear, that’s
all.”

“
Oh.” My mind was
racing again. “That bad?”

He shrugged. “Maybe...” He
watched me for another moment. “We were together for about two
years,” he told me then. “It was pretty serious. I wanted to marry
her...” He paused again, took another bite and thought, staring me
down. “Anyway...I don’t know...we hit a rough patch.” He stopped
again.

My mind was racing, but I
just waited for him to go on.

“
And she left
me.” He stopped again.

That was it? I was terribly
confused.

“
Why did she
leave you?” I heard myself asking.

He sighed. I could tell he
really didn’t want to tell me, but I could also see that he was
going to. “Because I cheated on her.”

I let my breath out then,
finally understanding why he didn’t want to tell me. “I
see...”

“
I don’t know why
I did it,” he said then. “I guess everyone says that,
right?”

I stayed silent, though,
willing him to continue with my mind.

“
So...” He
thought for a moment. “After that happened and she moved out and
everything, she refused to see me or talk to me or anything...I
tried everything I could to get her back, but I knew there was
nothing I could do and deep down I knew it would never happen,
but...I just couldn’t stop loving her. And everyone knew that –
everyone close to me – because I was a fucking mess for so long,
so...” His voice trailed off again. “So that’s why what happened
next was like – a knife in my chest.”

I was still trying to
process what he was telling me. I had never imagined him opening up
to me like this. “What happened?” I asked softly.

“
She hooked up
with my brother.”

My eyes went wide. Now
everything made sense. Our previous conversation about family came
flooding back to me.

“
Fuck...” I let
my breath out, unable to hold back my shock. “Ben...” I got a hold
of my bearings. “Are they still together?”

He nodded. “Yup.”

I sighed, not sure what to
say to that. “Wow...” I managed to find my voice. “You’re right,
that is fucked up...I’m sorry.” I caught myself.

But Ben gave me the hint of
a smile again. “It’s okay...I’m okay,” he stressed. “I mean, it was
kinda my fault, so...”

I shook my head though. “Not
that last part,” I said seriously.

“
Yeah, you’re
right,” he admitted. “But what happened was...” He looked deep in
thought again, as his voice trailed off. “Me and my brother, we
were always real close, y’know, so the whole time her and I was
together, he was always around so...the whole thing just messed
with my head in a way that I could never really make sense of
completely... Even to this day I still find myself questioning
everything.”

“
You and your
brother don’t talk anymore?” I asked then. The thought of him
losing the relationship with his only brother made me feel sad. I
wanted to lean over and kiss him.

“
Well...” He
looked like he was thinking about it. “No, not really,” he
admitted. “I mean, not like it was, y’know...he’s tried but we just
can’t be cool like that anymore. What am I supposed to say to him?
How am I supposed to be around him if she still around too? I
can’t. And even if she wasn’t, I don’t know if it could ever be the
same again...” He looked at me for a few moments. “But the fucked
up part is I still do miss him...you know, the way it was
before.”

I thought about that. “What
about her?”

I didn’t know why I couldn’t
stop asking him such messed up questions. They just seemed to keep
flowing out of me before I could stop myself.

But he didn’t seem to mind.
“That’s a good question,” he said then, surprising me. “I’ve spent
a long time thinking about it and I always kept saying to myself,
if I hadn’t fucked up...if I hadn’t gotten so mad...if we hadn’t
got into that fight and I hadn’t gone out and got drunk and did
what I did, then what? Because to tell you the truth – and maybe
you might find it hard to believe – but I can’t even remember it
really...”

“
Remember
what?”

“
Fucking somebody
else,” he said simply. “I mean, I know that it happened and I can
remember ever single detail of everything that went down after
that, but that one night is just like one giant blur...” He stopped
for a moment. “So I don’t know... I spent all this time – years
actually – regretting something I can’t even remember, which if you
think about it –” He took a small bite of his pancake before he
continued, almost for some added dramatic effect. “That’s probably
the most fucking painful lesson anyone can get in life. And who
knows? Maybe I needed to learn it...”

I didn’t say anything right
away and Ben just watched me closely for a few moments.

“
But to answer
your question...I miss what I had with her,” he said quietly. “I
miss loving someone like that...and that closeness, y’know? ...But
her? I don’t know if I miss her. I don’t even know who she is
anymore.”

I still couldn’t speak. I
was still trying to process everything that Ben had told me. The
pain and brutal honesty in his voice and his tone and his words
seemed to just render me speechless. I had never had a man open up
to me like that.

Ben just kept watching me
until finally he just lowered his eyebrows, giving me an apologetic
half-smile. “What did I tell you? Never ask a question unless you
prepared to hear the answer.” There was a lightness to his tone
again, and as he took the last bite of his pancake, I couldn’t help
but smile back at him.

I opened my mouth to speak
but stopped myself.

“
What?” Ben
wasn’t letting me off that easy.

“
Nothing,
just...” I shook my head. “What you said just now, it...well that
was kinda profound,” I admitted.

Ben laughed softly. “Which
part?”

“
Everything,” I
said simply. “You’re a very interesting person. I’m a little blown
away actually so I’m sorry if I’m acting like an idiot, you’re
just...having some effect on me.” I looked down at my plate, which
I had practically licked clean. “Those were some really good
pancakes.”

Ben kind of smiled. “I’m
glad you liked them.”

There was something about
these lingering silences between us that seemed to stir up so much
sexual energy in me. He stood up slowly and started to gather up
our plates.

“
I could use a
glass of water, you want one?”

I nodded and as he headed
back to the kitchen I stood up to stretch my legs and try to once
again regain my composure. When he came back into the room I turned
to face him, leaning back against the table we had eaten
on.

He stopped in front of me,
handing me a glass.

“
Thank you,” I
said softly and took a small sip. “I feel much better
now.”

He nodded slightly, the look
in his eyes suddenly much more serious. “Me too...”

He set his glass down on the
table behind me and as he reached around me, the closeness of his
body and that now all-too-familiar scent of his skin made me
tremble again. Without even realizing what I was doing, my hand was
suddenly on his belly, my fingers crawling up the buttons of his
shirt to his chest, where it opened, exposing his smooth dark skin,
and my lips pressed against his neck, kissing him
ever-so-lightly.