Love Is Patient and A Heart's Refuge (31 page)

This was
not Going West’s
focus at all. Rick raised his camera and took a few pictures, then glanced over it when he saw he had caught Becky’s attention. He shook his head slightly and pivoted his finger in a circle, a subtle reminder to get back to the point.

Becky turned back to the premier, ignoring Rick. She asked a few more questions pertaining to family, made a few comments, and as they chatted, Rick could sense she was winding the interview down.

He shifted in his seat, impatient with Becky. They had talked about what they were going to do with this. What their focus was going to be. She had barely touched on the topics he needed covered. How was she going to glean anything of substance, anything different from a thousand other interviews that would set this one apart?

Sure, they had been invited into his yard. Sure, he had some pet project that they could maybe focus on, but what was that?

Then he caught a different note in Jake’s tone. A subtle shift in his body language.

Jake was getting comfortable. And personal.

Now they were getting somewhere.

“People need to take responsibility for their actions, Becky,” he was saying. Rick felt the hairs on his neck go up and he straightened, straining to hear what Jake was saying.

“I know I’ve been remiss in that department.”

Becky leaned closer, touching him on the arm again. She was no longer the interviewer. She had become a friend. Confidante.

How had she done that?

He didn’t care. He had become hyperaware of the change in the atmosphere and was watching Jake like a hawk.

“What are you trying to say, Jake?”

He sighed and dragged a hand over his face. “I know I shouldn’t be saying this on the news. You’re a reporter.”

“I’m also your friend.”

Jake laughed lightly. “That’s a rarity for someone like me. I guess what I’ve always appreciated about you, Becky, was the fact that you were never fazed by the idea that I am premier. That I hold power.”

“Your power is given you by God. You’re holding it, yes, but in trust. I serve the same God but in a different capacity. We’re equal that way.” Becky smiled gently at him. “And as for the fact that you’re single—” she winked at him, then glanced at Rick “—that has never been a factor.”

Rick held her gaze a moment, wondering what she was saying.

“I’ve often seen you alone at functions. No boyfriend?”

Again Becky’s glance slid to Rick’s then away as if she wasn’t sure where to put him in her life.

He had kissed her. Had flirted with her.

She shook her head. “How about you? Any significant others in your life?” she asked, her attention focused back on Jake. “You’re seen with a different woman just about every time you step out.”

Jake waggled his hand. “You know how it is, Becky. I have functions I have to attend. I can’t come alone so I find someone. Or get my assistant to find someone. Usually a friend of a friend. Often a married woman to help me avoid any personal entanglements.”

“I remember a girl named Kerra. You’ve mentioned her once or twice.”

Kerra? Becky knew about a “personal entanglement” named Kerra? How had she known and why hadn’t she told him this?

Jake shifted in his chair, his hand stroking his chin as he seemed to be looking past Becky into the middle distance. His body language was so different from when they had first come that Rick could only be amazed at the transformation of the high-comfort level Jake felt with Becky.

The vibration in his pocket made him jump. He glanced at Becky and Jake, but they weren’t even paying attention to him. It was as if they had forgotten he was there.

Rick slowly drew the phone out of his pocket. It was Terry, their accounts manager.

R
ick glanced at the tape recorder on the table between Jake and Becky. Still running. He didn’t want to take this call, but he had to. He carefully got up from the table and walked to the back of the yard, out of earshot of Becky and Jake.

“I hope you’ve got good news, Terry?”

“I tried, Rick, but there’s no way they’re going to extend credit unless the magazine comes up with some kind of security.”

“Terry, if we had security, we wouldn’t need an extension,” Rick felt like yelling.

“One of the managers suggested you talk to your grandfather. Surely with his substantial assets…”

“Forget it. There’s no way I’m going to Colson Ethier to beg for spare change.” The very thought. “You know the only reason I let things get this far is because when I first came to you, you virtually assured me that I would be able to access this money.
‘No problem’
were your words. If I had known you were going to get spineless on me, I wouldn’t have put out the money I did.” Rick shoved his hand through his hair in frustration. “So who do I need to talk to?”

“I did what I could, Rick.”

“No, you didn’t, Terry. Give me a name and a number.” Rick flipped a page over on the pad of paper he had in his pocket and scribbled the name Terry gave him.

“I don’t know if it’s going to make a difference,” Terry protested.

“I’m Colson Ethier’s grandson, Terry. Trust me. It will make a difference.” It galled Rick to drop his grandfather’s name, but he was getting desperate. Better to use Colson’s name than his money. This magazine had to make it on its own. “Arrange it. I’ll hold.”

Rick glanced over at Becky, who was still leaning close to the premier, their heads bent. What were they doing? Praying?

He wanted to be there, but from what he could see, Becky hadn’t turned the tape off. He could listen to it later. He had to deal with this while he still had some breathing room.

A few minutes later Terry had the meeting arranged.

As Rick rang off, he strode to the table. Becky looked up as he came and she got to her feet.

“Time to go?” Becky asked.

Rick frowned. “Not unless you’re done here?”

Becky nodded and turned the tape recorder off. She dropped it casually in her purse. She gave Rick only a brief glance before turning back to Jake. “Thanks so
much for taking the time to see us.” She touched him again. “You take care. I’ll be praying for you.”

Jake laughed lightly. “And coming from you, I know that’s not just casual talk. Thanks, Becky.” He bent over and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

And Rick’s jealousy battled with curiosity. What had they talked about while he was trying to save the magazine? He’d just have to wait until he could hear what was on the tape recorder.

Jake glanced at his watch. “I have another appointment, so I have to run. It was good to see you again, Becky.” Jake turned to Rick and held out his hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you, too, Rick.”

“Thanks for your time, Mr. Premier,” Rick said, shaking Jake’s hand. “We’re most appreciative.”

“I’d like to see a copy of the interview before you put it into print,” Jake said, slipping his hands into his pockets. “Dilton is going to be having ulcers until he sees it. He didn’t want me to do the interview in the first place.”

“I doubt it…”

“Of course…”

Rick and Becky spoke at the same time. Rick shot Becky a warning look, which she returned with puzzlement.

“What I can do is discuss the angle we’ll be taking before we put it out,” Rick said by way of a compromise. Did Jake have something to hide? Had that come out while Rick was talking on the phone?

They said their final goodbyes and Rick could see Becky was less than pleased with him. But he wasn’t going to discuss that in front of the premier.

They were back in his Jeep and driving down the road before Becky turned on him. “Why won’t you allow him to vet what we’re going to print?”

“Because it’s our interview and our magazine. I want to make sure this interview stands out from any number of Q and A’s he’s done over the years.” What they had wasn’t outstanding, but it was still an exclusive.

“Correction, Rick. It was
my
interview. It was only thanks to me that we got it.”

“But you did it under the auspices of a magazine that
I’m
in charge of. So it isn’t your exclusive property, Becky. And we don’t give approvals on interviews.” Why did she care? Nothing earth-shattering had come out of it. At least not the part he was in on.

Becky said nothing for a few moments, and as Rick glanced at her, he caught her looking at him.

“We just finished doing an interview that you wanted to do for a number of years. You should be thrilled.”

“I wished we could have sat down and gone over the direction of the interview beforehand.” Becky had balked when he had asked that. “It did wander a bit.”

“I know. But I got what I wanted.”

“And what was that?”

“Information on his pet project. That’s something that ties in with business, doesn’t it?”

Rick pulled over to the side of the road, parking alongside a hay field. A farmer was cutting, the sweet smell of the grass soothing away his surprising anger.

“Why are you stopping?”

Rick turned to Becky, wishing he could sort out the confusion of his feelings right now. Yes, he had just
come from one of the most sought-after interviews in his life, but it had yielded nothing. Had Becky allowed him to run the interview he would have hit harder. He had pinned so much on it and it had faltered. What they had wasn’t going to give
Going West
the turnaround he had promised Terry.

But he didn’t voice his feelings aloud. Nor did he take his eyes off Becky. As she held his gaze, time seemed to slow, just as it had that time at the creek in the mountains. When he had kissed her for the first time.

And in spite of the frustration he had felt. In spite of the clamor of other thoughts, he reached out and gently touched her face as if seeking to draw from her the same peace he had felt with her at that moment. Carefully running his fingers through the soft silk of her hair, sighing lightly.

“Why did you kiss me the other day?” she asked suddenly. “When I fell asleep in your office?”

Rick cupped her chin, stroking it with his thumb. “I wanted to. I couldn’t resist.”

“So, just attraction?”

“No.” Rick fought the urge to pull her closer, to kiss her again. To do so now would smack of claiming territory, and he didn’t want base emotions like jealousy to tarnish what he felt for Becky. “It was more than that. More like need. More like…” He struggled to find the right word. “More like yearning for something that would fill emptiness.”

Becky drew in a sharp breath, her face now turned to his. And to Rick’s utter surprise, she reached out,
framed his face with her cool hands and kissed him lightly on his lips.

He didn’t move, didn’t breathe. His eyes drifted shut as he rested his forehead against hers.

And he caught himself praying.

Praying that God would show Himself. Praying that he would be found worthy of this wonderful, amazing woman.

Becky drew back from Rick, her heart still fluttering in the aftermath of her rash action. She didn’t look up at him, unsure of what she would see in his eyes.

Why were they dancing around the edges of each other’s emotions? They were both adults and should be able to talk about what was happening.

But Becky wasn’t sure herself how to articulate the feelings Rick raised in her. She had fought and argued with herself. She had prayed and sought guidance from the Bible.

But each time she saw him, something pure and wonderful blossomed within her. And each time she saw him, trailing behind her initial emotions were second thoughts and insecurity.

“I thought the interview went pretty well,” she said softly, trying to find a unemotional common ground that would give them both their bearings again.

Rick kept stroking her skin, his movements slower now. “Do you really want to talk about the interview right now?”

Becky glanced sidelong at him, biting her lip. “If not the interview, then what? The two of us? Where we’re going?”

Rick let his hand slide down her arm. “I know one thing. I care about you, Becky. A lot.”

His words sent a light shiver dancing down her spine, but it was followed by a harder thought.

Do you care enough to stay here?

Rick had made it clear from the beginning that he was only here temporarily. His sudden flight after the horse trip was like a sharp underline to that thought.

And how did she feel about him?

Becky held his eyes, as if trying to see herself through his. Trying to understand why he had kissed her, flirted with her.

Rick’s eyes took on an inward look. “You’re allowed to say something now,” he said with a nervous laugh.

She took his hand and pressed it to her cheek, her eyes holding his. “I care about you, too, Rick.” When she saw his soft, slow smile, she wanted to leave her comment there. Unadorned and simple. But she was first and foremost a child of God.

Rooted and grounded in His love.

She wanted no less from anyone she was involved in. “But I don’t know enough about you. Enough about your relationship with God. You come to church, but the only time we’ve talked about your faith was that moment at the creek. I don’t know if you’re going to be staying here, or leaving—”

Rick stopped her words with another kiss. Becky gently pressed him back, shaking her head.

“I told you before, I don’t believe in casual dating. If this is going somewhere…” She stopped there, afraid
to go on. She needed to know how he saw their relationship, if anyone wanted to call it that.

But at the same time she was afraid to know.

Rick turned away from her, his hands resting idly on the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road ahead of them.

“I don’t know where it’s going, either,” he said softly. “But I do know that I’ve never felt this way before.” He glanced sidelong at her, a half smile teasing his lips. “And I’ve never talked like this before. I’ve never gotten this far in a relationship. Never gotten to know someone.”

Relationship? Is that what he called these hit-and-miss connections?

“And do you know me?”

Even in profile his smile lit up his face. “You’re easy to get to know, Becky. You’re a generous and loving person.”

His compliment hit the depths of her heart.

“If I am, it’s because of my family. Because of the faith they’ve shown me.”

“You’re lucky that way.” He angled his head toward her. “Having someone show you the way to God.”

“Are you finding your way there?”

Rick’s smile faded, but he kept his gaze on her. “It’s hard, Becky. I’ve got too many questions and haven’t heard a lot of answers. Either in church, or from the Bible. I haven’t had the example of loving faith that you’ve had.”

“What about your grandfather?”

As Rick pushed himself away from the wheel, she
caught a glimpse of longing and pain so fleeting she thought her optimism had created it. Then his features hardened into the mask she knew all too well. He was shutting her out again.

“I think I’d like to talk about that interview now.”

His voice held a harsh edge and Becky could see from the clench of his jaw, from the narrowing of his eyes, that he had retreated into a cold, hard place. He wasn’t going to be telling her anything more.

Becky drew herself back against her seat, wrapping her fingers tightly around each other, disappointment sifting through her. She thought for a moment he was going to open up, show her some of his life. He held so much to himself.

How could she have let herself fall in love with a man so completely her opposite?

She let her mind linger over the word.

Love? Was that what she felt? This pain that accompanied every thought of him? The confusion she felt in his presence?

She loved the Lord, but that love nurtured and sustained her. It didn’t make her want to cry.

She drew in a long, lingering breath, as if reorienting herself to his new position.

“I’ll write it up, like I did with the horse pack trip,” she said. “And you can look it over.”

“I would prefer if we could work on it together,” he said quietly. “I’d like more of a hand in shaping it rather than getting to be the critic afterward.”

In spite of her swirling emotions, her confusing thoughts, she had to smile at his cryptic comment.

“As soon as we get back to the office, I have a meeting to go to,” he continued. “And I’m busy tomorrow. Could I come tomorrow night to go over it with you?”

“I have a meeting at eight-thirty tomorrow night.”

“I can come before.”

“My family will be around, but I’m sure we can find a quiet place.” In spite of her confusion, the thought of having him at her home sent a faint thrill through the disarray of her emotions.

“I’ll be there at about eight o’clock, if that’s okay with you?”

She almost invited him to supper, but wouldn’t that smack of desperation? Better to keep things casual.

And how was she going to do that when each time she saw him, she grew more and more attracted to him when she knew she shouldn’t?

“Welcome back, Rick. Good to see you.” Dennis Ellison, Becky’s brother, greeted him at the door with a grin. “Becky’s waiting for you in Dad’s study.”

As Rick followed Dennis through the kitchen, warmth and the tantalizing scent of baking mingled with coffee assailed him, followed by a sense of coming to a place of sanctuary. A place where you could simply “be.”

“Hello, Rick.” Cora looked up from the tray she was getting ready. “You came just in time. I was about to serve up some fresh blueberry muffins.”

“He can’t, Mom. Becks told me to make sure I get him to her right away.” Dennis flashed Rick a wink. “She’s a bit bossy, our Becks is.”

“Becky doesn’t need to be such a slave driver.” Cora smiled at Rick and took him by the arm. “Dennis, you bring the tray and meet us in the family room.”

“What to do, what to do?” Dennis sighed, but did as his mother requested.