Love Lessons (26 page)

Kelly did. It wasn’t easy, because moving forward on the chair made it rock with him, but Walter caught the back and pulled with counter force until it was his body keeping the chair in place. His groin bumped against Kelly’s ass. Walter took the laptop from Kelly with one hand and nudged Kelly’s thigh with his other, helping Kelly climb into his lap. When Kelly settled down, it was to sit in the center of Walter’s crotch.

He eased back against Walter’s chest. He still watched the screen, but all his focus was on Walter—Walter’s body around him, Walter’s reactions. How Walter slid a hand down Kelly’s thigh, lightly stroking. Kelly assumed he watched the show, but he didn’t know for sure until Walter said, “This is one of your favorites?”

“Yeah.” Kelly felt his cheeks burn, but he didn’t let self-consciousness get the better of him.

Walter kept stroking. His voice was soft, gentle as he spoke. “What is it you like?”

What did Kelly like? He considered a minute. “I like the production value. It’s not harsh lighting and raw.” He watched the waiter crawl over a barstool, taking the bartender’s cock into his mouth. “It’s not teasing, though, either. It’s a guy getting his cock sucked.” He remembered the rest of the video, what was coming up next, and his own cock got a little harder. “And rimmed.”

Walter’s stubble brushed Kelly’s ear. “I didn’t know you had rimming fantasies, Red.”

He did. Kelly was pretty sure that would feel amazing. “They do get the Internet in Minnesota, you know.”

Walter’s free hand had been sliding up Kelly’s arm, but as Kelly spoke it stopped, and so did Walter’s ear nuzzles. Kelly sensed he’d stumbled on the reason Walter had been hesitant with him. The trouble was, he didn’t understand it, not completely.

“Walter,” he said, giving up. “What’s going on?” The thought he’d been trying not to think rose, and it escaped before he could reel it back in. “Are you sorry we did this? Dating?”

“No.” Walter said the word with such conviction Kelly couldn’t doubt, but he still seemed tense. He sighed and rested his head against Kelly’s. “I’m not sorry—but I worry you should be. Or will be.” He stroked Kelly’s arm sadly. “You deserve better.”

Kelly turned too, so Walter could see the irritation on his face. “What am I supposed to say to that?”

A loud groan came from the laptop. “
Yeah, suck that cock,
” the bartender said. “
Next I’m gonna rim that ass.
”

Kelly blinked, glanced at Walter, and they fell against each other, laughing, nearly sending the laptop to the floor.

“Okay,” Walter said between giggles. “I admit it. That was stupid.” He pulled Kelly back against him, righting the computer at the same time. “I just…I suck at this, Kel.”

“Well, it’s not like I would know.” Onscreen, the bartender stuck his hand down the back of the waiter’s pants, and Kelly drew in a sharp breath. “God. I love that part.”

“That’s just it. You
should
know. You shouldn’t settle for me.”

The waiter gasped and jerked as the hand at his backside—one assumed—found pay dirt. Kelly bit his lip and resisted the urge to adjust himself. “You do realize that you’re trying to talk about our relationship, and I’m getting uncomfortable in my pants while I watch porn? I haven’t had Psych 101, but I think this is role reversal.”

Walter said nothing after that, and Kelly was free to watch as the waiter’s moans became more and more desperate, as the waistband dipped lower and lower. There were several nice cock shots too of the bartender—he was shaved because it was that kind of porn video, but Kelly didn’t think he’d have cared either way. What really had his attention was the fact that, though he’d watched this video a million times, this was the only instance where he was in another guy’s lap while he did so.

Walter was quiet, and mostly still, his hands brushing over Kelly’s skin on occasion. His breath was hot against Kelly’s neck, coming a little bit faster now, and the bulge pressing the back of Kelly’s ass got bigger all the time. They watched as the blow job continued, as the waiter’s pants slid farther and farther down his ass.

When the scene shifted to the waiter leaned over the bar, buck naked save his socks, knees wide as the bartender spread his cheeks apart, Walter jolted. “Shit.”

Kelly glanced over his shoulder. “You’re not going to convince me this is hardcore for you.”

“No.” Walter had a funny look on his face, half-wary, half…hopeful? He was still so hard to read. “I would have assumed it was for you, though.”

Now Kelly glared. “Who do you think I am? No wait, don’t answer, because I know. I’m a repressed Republican from Mayberry who thinks sex happens in the dark with the lights off to swoony orchestral soundtracks. Jesus.
I’m not.
Just because I blush a lot doesn’t mean I don’t want sex or that I need sex pretty. Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I need everything watered down. I mean—you were a virgin once too. Maybe you were looking at Tom of Finland when you were thirteen, but you weren’t getting rimmed.” He paused and added, “Were you?”

The way Walter’s expression shuttered told Kelly he’d stepped in something, but he didn’t know what. He tried to cover with self-depreciation and a rueful laugh. “Okay, maybe you were. My point is that even though I’m a late bloomer, at some point you were a virgin too, and you had to learn—”

“My first time was with a guy who could have been my dad.”

Kelly stopped laughing. He went still, listening, the porn soundtrack behind them suddenly not so awesome. Kelly turned fully, trying to get a better read of Walter’s face. It wasn’t easy. “Was that good or bad? I mean—”
Shit, Kelly, shut up.
“Were you…forced?”

The corner of Walter’s mouth quirked up. “No. At the time I thought I was hot shit, doing it with a thirty-year-old. There was nothing rape about it, not as far as I was concerned. Legality of course is another story altogether. The guy took a horrible risk. Really, he was as fucked up as I was. I didn’t think that at the time. I thought I was the fucking coolest kid on the block. I didn’t just have sex with him, either. I had a lot of great times and in some pretty crazy places. I took stupid,
stupid
risks.” He rubbed the line of his jaw and averted his gaze. “That’s what I mean, when I say I don’t think I’m right for you. You wouldn’t ever do anything like that. I did. Until a few months ago, I still was doing shit like that, albeit in a safer, more grownup way.”

Kelly threw up his hands. “So you’re saying you don’t want to be with me unless I go out and have stupid sex first?”

“What?
No
.” Walter glared at him. “I don’t want you to
ever
do anything like that.”

“So I can’t be with you because I’m pure and you’re tainted? Who has the Disney fetish now?”

“Kelly, that’s not what I mean. I’m telling you I’m fucked up. You aren’t fucked up. You shouldn’t do this. If you came to me as a friend and asked if you should date a guy like me, I’d say hell no.”

Kelly went cold. “Are you breaking up with me?”

His heart tightened as Walter hesitated. The whole world came into sharper focus, and for a moment Kelly wanted to run, hide, to cry. Just for one moment. Because the moment after that, he got pissed.

Fuck this.

Grabbing the laptop from Walter’s hand, Kelly closed it and set it aside before turning back to face Walter. “Here’s the deal. I’m going to make out with somebody tonight. Someone’s going to get their hand down my pants and their tongue down my throat. Who knows what else comes after. You get to decide, boyfriend, if that’s you or some random guy at Moe’s.” When Walter gave him a dubious look, Kelly only got angrier. “Don’t test me. I’m serious.”

“You wouldn’t make out with a stranger. That’s not who you are.”

“Then I’m going to become that guy, and fast.” Kelly dug his fingers into the leg of his jeans. “That’s why you’ve been weird. You have this stupid idea about who I am, and you’re writing me off.”

“I don’t have a stupid idea about who you are—
you
don’t know who
I
am. You don’t want me, Kelly. You don’t—”

He didn’t get to say anything else because Kelly cut him off with a hard kiss. All his anger, his hurt, his fear went into it, and when he finally came up for air, he was shaking.

“I want you, Walter. I don’t care who you slept with or how old you were or they were or anything. I don’t care if you’re the rimming champion of Illinois. I want you. For more than holding hands.” He nuzzled Walter’s nose. “You’re right, I couldn’t do it with a stranger. But it’s not because I don’t want to make out or am afraid of it. It’s that I want it to be with you.” He felt Walter try to pull away, and Kelly panicked at the thought that he’d called his own bluff. “That doesn’t mean I’m not going to bully you into making out with me.”

Walter paused, half smiling. “Oh? This I want to see.”

Kelly thought fast. “If you don’t make out with me, I’ll go down to the vending machines in the lounge and buy a Hershey’s bar. With almonds.”

Walter stopped smiling. “That isn’t even funny.”

Good.
“I’ll do it. I swear to God.” He’d end up in the hospital, but hopefully it didn’t come to that.

“I’ll take your money,” Walter promised.

“I’ll borrow some from the RA.”

Walter cupped Kelly’s cheek, and it wasn’t gentle. “I’ll lock you in our room.”

“How? I can open it from the inside.”

Those fingers dug into Kelly’s skin. “I’ll hold you down.”

Kelly’s whole body went soft in Walter’s arms and filled with want. “Okay.”

The rigidity in Walter’s face softened a little, but he still gripped Kelly tight. “Kelly.”

Sensing an opening in Walter’s wall, Kelly went at it with everything he had in him. “I’m not a Disney princess in a castle. I’m—” He fumbled as he tried to think of an appropriate metaphor. “I’m Luke Skywalker wanting to get it on with Han Solo.” They’d been bought by Disney. The metaphor held.

Walter laughed, and his hand slid down to Kelly’s neck. “You’re so much hotter than Mark Hamill.”

Kelly shifted in Walter’s lap, trying to figure out an elegant way to maneuver into a straddle. There wasn’t one. He gave up and put Walter’s free hand on his hip.

Walter kneaded it. “Is this your way of telling me you want to play waiter and bartender?”

Kelly nodded, feeling his ears heat. “But if you say one more word about me being too precious to make out with, it’s milk chocolate and almonds.”

Chuckling, Walter bent to nuzzle Kelly’s cheek. “Now you’re just begging to be tied up.”

He paused though, and Kelly knew they’d shifted back into that same stupid space. “Have you done that? Tied someone up?”

“I was tied up. Once.” He nuzzled again.

Kelly thought about Walter tied up, and he shivered. Deliciously. He sure hoped that wasn’t one of those bad/good memories. “Was it fun? Because I’ve always thought it sounded fun—with the right person.” Walter didn’t answer, which wasn’t great because the image of Walter bound and naked was wreaking havoc with Kelly’s ability to be patient and understanding. “I don’t know if that right person would be me, with you, but God, I bet that was hot.”

The hand on Kelly’s hip tightened, and when Walter nuzzled Kelly’s neck, Kelly felt the dampness of his boyfriend’s lips. “I couldn’t let you tie me up, not when you’re threatening to eat that candy bar.”

“If you were tied up, I’d forget all about death by almonds in chocolate.” Kelly gasped as Walter’s mouth opened over his neck, and he clutched at Walter even as his legs went slack and his thighs parted. Somehow he’d ended up lying prone in Walter’s arms.

Walter kissed his way along Kelly’s jaw, his hand tracing the outline of Kelly’s hip. “You’ve gone all limp noodle. Like overcooked ramen.”

Not all of me, no.
Kelly found Walter’s hand and moved it—somewhat awkwardly—over the non-limpness in question. Walter lifted his head, his eyes wary and lustful at the same time.

Kelly forced Walter’s hand to knead him. “How about you eat me up?”

God, but it cost him every ounce of courage he had to be that bold, and for a moment he worried it had been for nothing. Walter looked almost stricken.
Fuck,
Kelly thought, and made his cock twitch under Walter’s hand.

Walter paused, then kneaded his palm.

Kelly gasped and rocked up into Walter’s touch.

They both stilled, gazes locked. Walter seemed to be doing some sort of deep internal wrestling, and Kelly tried to think of what he could say to push Walter over the edge.

Then it occurred to him that perhaps he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Letting go of Walter’s hand, he flicked open the button of his jeans and carefully undid the zipper. Face beet red, his heart thudding so hard against the wall of his chest that it hurt, Kelly took up Walter’s hand again, drew it to his waistband and lowered it inside.

Chapter Nineteen

Walter’s hand on his cock was the most amazing thing Kelly had ever felt in his life.

He bucked up into it, but when Walter’s fingers shifted, getting a better grip on him, his legs went limp again, his stomach flexing. He shut his eyes and turned his face into Walter’s shoulder. “Shit,” he gasped.

Walter nuzzled Kelly’s forehead, nipping at his hair while his hand continued to work steadily on Kelly’s dick. Kelly felt like he was a greased fish trying not to flop in his lover’s arms, if fish embraced and got stiffies. He tried to fix that, tried to be a cool, suave lover, because it was his inexperience that had Walter so spooked. He tried, but it was impossible. Because he’d never had anybody’s hand on his cock before, and it felt
so amazing he could die
. He wanted to thrust wantonly into Walter’s hand. He wanted to grab Walter’s neck and kiss him hard and wet and sloppy. He wanted, more than anything, to let go, not think and just
feel
.