Love Lies Dying (7 page)

He felt himself growing hard again. He tried to think of other things. Tried to think about what kind of searches Helen would be doing at the hospital.

She had her mouth around my cock
, he thought.

He grew harder still.

She was so hot and wet and so good.

“Didn’t you like it? Isn’t it nice to wake up to that warm, lovely feeling?” she had asked.

Boy, it sure was,
he thought to himself and smiled.

He turned over in the bed and tried to get some sleep. He tried to clear his mind of images of Zoe naked, her legs apart, sitting on his sofa, showing him the shaved folds of her sex.

“Have you ever thought about having an affair?” she had asked him. “I mean, you
must
have right? Who hasn’t thought about it?”

He shook his head.

Come on John,
he thought to himself.
Get a hold on the situation. You’re
married!
You
love
someone
else!
Get her out of your mind.

John turned over onto his other side and punched at the pillow. He didn’t know how he was going to get any sleep with images of Zoe in his mind.

Naked, tanned and willing.

He closed his eyes tighter and wondered if Zoe was having as much trouble falling to sleep as he was.

“Shit,” John mumbled to himself. “She’s going to kill me.”

Long hallway.

No, not a hallway.

A door.

A door a long way away.

But getting closer.

Running.

No, I can’t run.

I’m not running.

Flying?

Am I flying?

Yes, I’m flying towards the door!

It’s getting closer.

Bright light on the other side.

Songs.

I hear songs.

No, it’s screaming.

Screaming?

Laughter?

They’re all around me.

The door is coming closer.

Too close.

Too fast!

I must stop!

Too fast!

The light!

Too bright!

Quiet now, and dark.

No laughter and no light.

Something’s behind me.

I can hear it running. It’s getting closer.

I can’t see it but it’s getting closer.

I’ve got to run, run while I can.

But I’m stuck! My legs won’t move! I can’t run.

Over there, I see them. I can see the hands over there, reaching for me.

HELP ME!

I’m trying to get there.

I can hear the footsteps behind me.

There’s no one there but I know they’re getting closer.

I’m stretching, stretching for the hands. Help me.

Help me move closer, stretch closer.

It’s raining now, raining all around.

The rain hurts. The rain goes straight through me.

HELP!

The rain is tearing me apart!

Laughter again, I can hear it all around me.

The rain is eating through my flesh.

Help!

The pain!

Stretch hands, stretch out and help me!

Fingers stretch.

The footsteps are closer.

Help me escape!

Yes, yes!

YES!

I have reached the hands. Hands, pull me to safety!

Pull me to safety now!

Yes.

That’s it. I’m moving now. The footsteps won’t be able to catch me.

Hands, pull me to safety.

Pull me into the arms of the one I now love.

Six

John rolled over and reached out for Helen, but he only found the side of the bed.

He opened one eye and squinted into the sunlight.

The spare bedroom. The single bed.

And then he remembered all about last night.

He closed his eye when he stretched and rolled onto his back, letting a yawn escape him. As he moved his legs he heard the jiggling of crockery.

“Careful, you’ll spill it all.”

He waited a second, unsure if he had really heard the voice. Opening both eyes, he sat, lifted his head and stared down at the end of the bed.

Zoe was sitting there, smiling back at him. She wore his blue bathrobe and, from what he could tell, nothing underneath. The robe was tied loosely around her waist, allowing the sunlight to shine on the top-most part of her chest. She was sitting with one leg folded in front of her on the bed and the other stretched to the floor, holding her steady. He could see her bare thighs and he knew if she moved too far one way or the other he would probably see much more.

Her hair was in two shoulder length braids, one down each side of her face. He’d never seen a grown woman wear her hair that way, it was usually only little girls who did, but it was the most charming thing he had ever seen. She sat on the end of the bed like a little pixie or angel. He’d never woken up to anything so delightful in his life.

“Good morning, sleepy head,” she said. “I’ve brought you some breakfast.” She pointed down at the tray resting beside her.

“Thanks,” he replied as he cast a glance over the steaming hot coffee, toast and cereal. “But you didn’t have to do all this.”

“Hey, it’s the least I can do. You’re letting me stay here after all, so I should be able to make you a meal or two.”

John ran a hand through his messed hair and smiled back at her. “I
am
hungry,” he said. “What time is it?”

“It’s a little after eleven.”

“Wow, I slept in, huh?”

“Well, we did have a late night last night,” Zoe replied.

“Yeah, we did.” John pulled himself up into a sitting position.

Zoe’s eyes fell to his chest as he did so. He realised then that this was the first time she had seen him without a shirt. He was glad he’d kept his boxers on last night. She might be able to walk around naked in front of strangers, but John sure as hell couldn’t.

“So, did you sleep okay?” he asked.

Her eyes darted back to his and she smiled. “Okay, yeah, I guess. I woke up a few times, you know, because of the dreams I have. They’re nightmares really. Sometimes pretty strange and violent ones, but I think I slept better last night than I have in ages.”

“Good.”

Zoe picked up the tray holding the food and leaned closer towards him. He reached out and took the tray from her and placed it in his lap.

“Thanks.”

“As I said, no problem at all,” she sat back at the end of the bed. “I hope you enjoy it.”

“I’m sure I will!” John said as he took a sip of coffee. “Ahh, nice! I’m not used to this kind of service.”

Zoe giggled, “It’s no trouble, really.”

They sat in silence for a moment while John took a spoonful of cereal and began to eat. Zoe checked her braids to make sure they were still in order and then let her eyes slip back down his chest.

“Have you been up long?” he asked, more to put an end to the silence than anything else.

“An hour or so,” she replied. “I hope you don’t mind, but I took a shower and this was all I could find to wear.” She pointed at his blue bathrobe.

I don’t mind at all,
he thought.
You look great in it.

John shook his head while chewing another mouthful of cereal, “That’s fine. Use whatever you want.”

“It’s just that I woke up feeling dirty and horrible, probably because of my dreams, and I just knew if I could have a long hot shower, I’d feel much better.”

John thought about Zoe in a long hot shower, the steam all around her, her hair wet and plastered to her head. The hot water coursing down her body, flowing onto her, around her, down her breasts and stomach and over her pierced belly button. Lower…lower…

He was glad the tray was resting across his lap.

“Johnny?” Zoe said.

“Hmm? Sorry, I was a million miles away. What did you say?”

“I asked whether the coffee is okay for you. I don’t know how you have it.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” He smiled. “I love it. Thanks.”

“Good.”

He continued to eat, and she sat on the end of the bed and watched him in silence. Slowly, her smile disappeared and he could tell by the different emotions flowing across her face that she was troubled once again.

When the second piece of toast was almost finished, she said, “I cleaned up around the house for you too.”

“You what?”

Oh my God,
John thought.
The gun! I forgot to move the gun. No wonder she’s depressed again!

“There was no need to do anything like that,” he said.

Zoe shook he head. “No, it was good for me. It kept my mind off things. It’s always good to keep busy, you know?”

John nodded.

“And I found your newspaper on the front doorstep.”

Zoe went quiet and looked down at her hands.

“And…” John prompted.

“Nothing,” she said as she met his eyes once more. “I checked it three times, from cover to cover, Johnny, and there’s nothing in the paper about Ricky.”

John placed the tray by his side. “But that doesn’t mean anything.”

“Yes, it means he’s still alive!”

She looked like she was about to cry again, so John reached out his arms and she climbed along the bed, came and sat next to him and hugged him hard.

“If there’s nothing in the papers,” she whispered, “it means he’s out there somewhere looking for me.”

“Not necessarily.” John stroked her hair. “You said yourself that he didn’t like doctors and that he used aliases. Maybe he’s lying on some morgue slate somewhere under the name of Ghengis Khan or something.”

She giggled and looked up at him, “That wasn’t one of his aliases.”

“Okay, well sure, fine. But you know what I mean. If he’s been admitted under a different name, no one’s going to know!”

“I’ve been checking the papers every day, Johnny. Every day since I escaped and started driving! And there’s been nothing.”

“Well, that’s good,” John said. “It means that you’ve probably nailed the sucker and they’re keeping it quiet.”

“But what if he’s alive and only wounded? What if he’s just recuperating and will then come after me?”

“That’s a lot of ‘what ifs’, Zoe. Why don’t we wait until Helen gets back this morning and we’ll look at any information she has managed to dig up, okay?”

Zoe hugged him tighter, then let her left hand slide slowly across his bare chest. “Okay. Whatever you say, I’ll do it, Johnny.”

John placed the tray on the floor and swung his legs out of the bed. He rested on the side of the bed for a second, waiting for Zoe to leave the room, but she continued to sit on the bed.

“Well, to begin with, I better get up and showered. Helen could be home any minute.”

And I don’t want her to find us like this,
John thought.
That would be all I need.

Still, Helen had been the one to leave Zoe here with him. She must’ve known what Zoe was like; they’d been friends for years.

Or so Zoe says…

“She’s not coming home,” Zoe whispered.

John sat staring out the window, through the sunlight and into the yard. He let her words sink slowly into his brain, making sure he had heard correctly. “What did you say?”

“She’s not coming home,” Zoe met his eyes as he turned to her. “At least, not yet. That’s why she phoned.”

 “Huh?” John was confused. “Hang on, back up a little and start again. You’ve gone too fast for me.”

“The phone,” she said.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Well, it rang and –“

“When?”

Zoe stared at him with a confused look in her eyes. “Just before. Like, fifteen minutes ago. Didn’t you hear it?”

John shook his head.

“But, you must have! That’s why I decided to bring your breakfast in here. I thought the phone would’ve woken you.”

It usually does,
John thought.

“Well, it didn’t,” he said.

“Oh, okay. You must have been in a really deep sleep. Anyway, it was Helen.”

“Helen called,” John said, unsure whether it was a question or whether he was just repeating the fact.

“Yeah, she said she’d been calling around all night and was even checking out computer databases or something. I’m not really big on technical terms and she reeled off plenty, but it seems she was calling people and doing searches for Ricky, but she’d come up with nothing.”

Zoe looked like she might start to cry again, so John reached over and rubbed her arm.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Zoe tried to smile. “I don’t know what to think,” she said. “If there’s no news that might mean he’s dead and already buried in some quiet ceremony to cover everything up and I’d be free of him. Or, it means he’s got some private doctor somewhere to look after him. Or maybe he was just knocked out and now he’s following me across the country and is going to find me and grab me and beat me and kill me and…”

She could take it no more, the tears began to roll down her face again and she collapsed into John’s arms. The warm tears pattered down his bare chest as she hugged him closer. John found it strange that he was hugging someone in his own bathrobe; its soft cloth brushing against his arms.

She looks better in it than I do,
he thought.

“That’s enough,” he whispered. “Don’t get yourself into another state like last night. You need a clear head today to work out your next move.”

“I know, I know,” she whispered between sobs. “It’s just hard, so hard.”

“Yeah,” he said. “Sometimes it can be better to know at least something rather than nothing, and then you can plan from that.”

Zoe pulled herself back into a sitting position and wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand, “That’s right. And right now I know a big fat nothing.”

“Did Helen say anything else?”

“Only that there were a couple of places she hadn’t tried, you know, small private hospitals or funeral parlours or something. They’re not listed on any computer database and don’t have staff on the phones in the middle of the night, or something like that. I really wasn’t listening after she told me she’d found nothing out. I was kind of stunned and didn’t take it all in. I was sure she would have found
something
.”

 She checked to make sure her braids were still bound tightly. “She said she wanted to check those places out and a couple of others, and she was waiting for some other people to call her back with results from their searches. It all takes time, she said. Maybe all day. She said she would meet us for an early dinner around five and fill us in from there. She’s going to call back about four o’clock and we can arrange to have dinner somewhere.”

John signed. “Okay, sounds like the best plan we have.”

“She told me to rest and take it easy and if I needed anything to ask you for it.”

“Yeah, that’s okay with me,” he replied. “Did she ask to speak with me?”

Zoe smiled and he smiled back, “No.”

Typical,
John thought.

“Oops,” she leaned forward and wiped the tears from his chest with her warm hands. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to get you all wet.”

“That’s okay. The shower will fix it.”

She sat back and tilted her head to one side.

“So, what do you want to do?” she asked.

“Do?”

“Well, we’ve got a whole lot of time to kill before four o’clock. What can we do?” she smiled at him.

John moved back into his sitting position on the side of the bed. “Well, I’m going to have a shower.”

“And…” Zoe asked, her right eyebrow rising.

“And what?”

“What will we do after that?”

Careful,
John thought.
You’re both nearly naked.

“What would you like to do?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Zoe let herself fall back onto the bed, his blue bathrobe falling open slightly, exposing her left breast. “Anything that comes to mind.”

John stood up and walked towards the doorway.

“Give it some thought,” he said over his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, I will,” she replied and giggled quietly.

“Yeah,” John muttered to himself as he walked into the bathroom. “That’s what worries me.”