Love Me Back (31 page)

Mackenna was picking me up for some girl time before I left.  Kenna’s dad was going to buy a shop for her to open her own photography studio down in the square of town.  She was so talented with not only candid but also posed pictures as well.  Even her landscapes jumped out of the page at you.  I was going to miss her so much and she is the only reason I have contemplated coming home after the baby. 

Since I am with Mackenna, Trent is going out with Bryan.  It is nice to see their friendship come alive again.  Trent is lucky Brian is so forgiving.  After Mackenna and I go out to eat at my favorite restaurant, get ice cream at the Dairy Mart she drops me off at my house to pick up some things I had left there.  I figure my mom would be out so I could sneak in grab my stuff and then Trent is coming to get me after him and Bryan finish. 

It isn’t surprising to find my mom’s house dark and quiet.  It is Friday night, the start of my mom’s weekend binges.  I don’t turn on any lights, I can’t bear to see the old ratty furniture and worn out shag carpeting.  There are empty wine bottles on the counter in the kitchen and the fridge is empty except for more wine and beer.  Rolling my eyes I go upstairs.  The third stair still squeaks and the railing is missing from when we painted five years prior.  At the top of the stairs I turn to her room.  Clothes strewed across the floor and bed.  More wine glasses and bottles on the nightstands along with beer bottles courtesy of her guests I assume.

Shaking my head taking a deep breath I walk the short distance to my room.   I can instantly tell she hasn’t stepped foot in her since I left.  Dust covers all my pictures, my dresser and even my bedspread and pillows.  Opening my closet where clothes are hung from high school I grab my bag in the back.   Trent should be here soon and I want to get out of here as soon as I can.  I take my purple flower photo box putting it in the bag along with some other mementos from high school.    I am scrambling in my desk drawer looking for the letter from my dad when I see a cars headlight in the driveway.  It must me Trent so I run downstairs to open the door for him. 

Right before I get to the bottom of the stairs I hear a key in the lock.  Oh Shit, it isn’t Trent.  I slowly back up the stairs so they can’t see me figuring they will resort to her room soon and I can sneak out but that damn third stair.  My right foot hits it just as she wobbles past me on her way to the kitchen.  She looks over and continues walking so I think she is too drunk to see me so I continue my retreat upstairs.

“Madeline.”  She says continuing to the kitchen.   I freeze on the fifth step praying she passes out.   Her drunken partner walks by glancing my way at the stairs.

“Hey, I’m Bill.”  He puts out his hand for me to shake.  Is he kidding?  I roll my eyes walking by him to the kitchen.   He is wearing a silk button down shirt.  All the buttons are unbuttoned except for the bottom two.  His chest is filled with large amounts of black hair.  He has a sole patch and his hair is gelled back.  The cheap cologne fills my nostrils making me want to vomit.    “Alright then.”  He pulls his hand back running it through his hair.

“What are you doing here?”  My mom questions, opening a bottle of wine while handing her partner a beer.

“Barb, don’t you have anything stronger?”  He downs the beer while searching the cabinets.  I guess he has never been here before.  Everyone knows the hard stuff is the second cabinet on the left.

“I’m just picking up a few things.  I will be out in a second.”  I say walking towards the archway.

“Nothing here is yours” she spats downing half her glass of wine.

“This seems like a family problem.”  Bill says taking a swig from the whiskey bottle.  “Maybe I should wait in the other room.”  He looks me up and down walking towards me.

“Nonsense Bill.  My daughter will be out of our hair soon.”  She walks over to him rubbing herself against him.  His hand grabs her ass pulling her closer while he thrusts his tongue in her mouth,  all while staring at me from the corner of his eye.

At this point bile is actually rising up my throat and I know I have to flee this scene.

“I will let you two” I motion with my finger.  “Do your…thing” I go upstairs listening to my mother’s moans.  I imagine he is taking her right there on the table.

“Are you sure, I would love a mother and daughter threesome…Madeline.”  He shouts out to me.

I get up to my room and the lock the door. 

Automatically I grab my phone texting Trent to hurry up and get here.  I fumble through the rest of my drawers trying to grab anything that I want.  I will never return here again.

Once I think I have everything I hear back from Trent.  He is on his way but he and Bryan were at a bar in the town over so it might be fifteen minutes or so before he can come.  I decide I will wait outside for him.  It’s a nice summer night. 

I throw my duffle bag over my shoulder and I slowly open my door looking down the hall at my mom’s door.  It is shut so I quietly slip out of my room, turning off the light as I tip toe down the hall.  When I get to my mom’s room I am relieved to hear silence.  Oh good, they must have passed out.  Just as I turn to make my way down the stairs a gust of musky cologne hits me right before my mom’s door opens up. 

He is standing there and I see my mom sprawled over her bed with her skirt up to her waist and no underwear.  Her red hooker boots are still on but she is out cold.  Fear hits me, I have to get away but I am pretty sure he can take me.  I figure if I can get down to the kitchen I can find a knife to defend myself.

“I was just coming to get you.  Your mom passed out on me.”  He leers at me with a sleazy smile across his lips.

“My boyfriend will be here in a minute to get me.”  I start walking down the steps.  I don’t want to alert him to my plan of defense.

“Don’t worry, it will only take a minute.  Your mom has already prepped me so I just need you to finish me.”  He follows me down the stairs and I swallow hard.  Tears are pricking at my eyes; I am praying Trent gets here faster than he said.  I should have stayed in my locked room.

When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I debate left to the kitchen or right to the door.  Something tells me left to the kitchen so I follow my gut. 

“Sorry to disappoint you, I’m not my mother.  The apple didn’t fall from that tree.”  I say turning on the light in the kitchen.  My eyes start searching desperately around the countertops.

“No, you’re definitely not your mother.”  He looks me up and down again and I see him imagining me naked in his mind.  “I’m sure you are much tighter.”  He stays in the doorway thinking he has me trapped.

“Listen…Bill.  I am not going to sleep with you.  My very large boyfriend will be here any minute so I suggest you get your shit and leave or go upstairs and after my mom sleeps it off I am sure she will fuck you.”  Opening a drawer I find a knife.  Not a big one but enough to wound him giving me time to get away if he touches me.

“That’s where you are wrong sweet one. “  His words are slurring.   He walks over to the fridge and I turn away making my way to the doorway he came from with the knife behind my back.  “You are going to fuck me right here in this kitchen.”  He cracks open a beer downing it then throwing it across the counter.

I walk backwards towards the door but he walks towards me so I turn and run to the door.  He grabs me by my stomach from behind throwing me to the ground.  The duffle bag slams to the floor and I hear glass breaking.  Before I can get the knife out he is on top of me unbuttoning my pants.  I bring the knife up to him and he puts his fingers around my wrist bending it back until I release the knife.   “Did you really think you could out strong me?”  His hand reaches down my pants and underwear and I feel his fingers inside of me.   I release the tears that are building letting them spill down my cheeks.  I scream for help but I know my mom will never hear me. 

Luckily he has to release my wrist in order to undo his own pants and pull mine down.  My fingers slowly get the knife again as he is concentrating on his own zipper.  I slash his shoulder with it and squirm my way around him.  Crawling backwards my back hits the wall and I get up letting the wall support me. 

“You bitch.”  He spats at me helplessly lying on the ground holding his shoulder. 

“Get the fuck out.”  The bloody knife is still in my hands.

“Not on your life sweet one.”  He comes closer but I am prepared to stab him.

“Don’t come any closer.”  I threaten but he doesn’t listen rushing towards me pushing me against the wall.

He grabs my hair back pulling my head down while holding my wrist with the knife down at my side.  He licks my neck “you smell so much better than your mother.  Like fucking heaven and I can’t wait to be inside you.”  He takes his hand out of my hair to pull my pants down but realizes he needs both hands so he takes the knife out of my hand throwing it across the room.

Knowing I have nothing else and I can’t get away I start begging him.  “Please don’t do this.”  He tosses me towards the stairs and my back hits the second stair hard across my spine making me shocked from the pain.  He jumps on top of me but I try to crawl up the stairs away from him but all he does is pull my pants down further while he follows me.  Once my jeans are off freeing my feet I kick him in the chest and he tumbles down a few stairs but recovers quickly.

“I’m pregnant.”  I plead but he doesn’t stop.

“Nice try.  I bet you are still a virgin which will make this so worth it.”  He grabs my breast and he moves my underwear to the side right before he is about to enter me I hear my mom’s front door open.

“Maddy?”  Trent is calling me and I have never been so thankful and embarrassed at the same time.

“Trent.”  I scream but Bill covers my mouth hoping he won’t find us. Drunken asshole.

Trent comes up grabbing Bill and throwing him down the stairs.  He glances up to me and I see the fury in his eyes.  Grabbing Bill by his silk shirt Trent punches him right across the face knocking him out.  Once Trent knows Bill isn’t getting up he comes over to the stairs carrying my jeans.

“Maddy, are you ok baby?”  He holds me close to him while I cry into his chest.  “Did he…” he hesitantly asks.

I shake my head back and forth.  “No, you got here just in time.”

“Oh thank god.”  He pulls his phone out calling 911.

“Trent…” I look down at the stair.

“Oh shit Maddy.”  He grabs me closer telling the operator “we need an ambulance right away.”

I hear her before she reaches my room.  “Where is she, Madeline Jennings?”  Her voice so demanding I am sure the nurse behind the counter is shaking.

“Ma’am, are you family?”  The young nurse makes her first mistake.

“Yes, why else would I be here.”  She exclaims back.

“May I ask the relation?”  Second mistake for the nurse.  One more and she will get the wrath of this woman.

“I am her mother.”  She surprisingly announces.

“By all means Mrs. Jennings, go ahead.  Room 208.”  The nurse says apologetically. 

The clicking of her heels is loud to the quiet hospital night. I knew Trent would call her.  I didn’t want him to though, I already feel so guilty and ashamed but he didn’t know what to do when I shut down.

“Oh Trent” she embraces him right away and I can feel both their eyes shift to me and then look at each other as Trent tries to tell his mom silently that he is at a loss.

“Maddy sweetheart.”  Her hand touches my back and tears instantly fall from my face.  I am facing the window trying to shut down everything that happened.  “Talk to me.”  She begs but I can’t turn around, I can’t face her.

She sits behind me rubbing my back in small circles while telling me it will be ok.  Trent did the same thing but it’s different coming from her maybe because she is a mother.  My rapid breathing and gasping to catch my breath through my tears is starting to slow down a little.  “Please Maddy, look at me.”

I slowly start to turn around but my eyes meet Trent’s and I shut down again burying my head in the pillow. 

“Trent dear, go get something to drink.  Give us a minute.  Your father is in the waiting room down the hall.”  She motions with her hand to leave and smiles to confirm it will be ok.  Always so motherly.

He leaves the room and she scoots up so her body rests against the headboard, taking my head and putting it in her lap brushing my hair with her manicured nails.

“Honey you can talk to me.”  She softly says.

“I lost it.”  I whisper into her stomach tears staining her dress.

“I know baby, I know.”   She listens not saying anything more.

“I shouldn’t have gone there.  Only shitty things happen to me there, I should have known something like this would happen.  It’s all my fault.”  I start rambling.  It feels better getting it out.

“No Maddy, you didn’t deserve what happened to you. Don’t you ever think that?”  She says stopping her hand for a second.

“Trent must hate me, I killed his child.”  I start crying harder.

“No he doesn’t.”  She keeps letting her fingers run through my hair while I continue to cry.

Eventually sleeps succumbs me and when I wake up it’s still dark outside and his mom is no longer holding me.  Trent is slouched down in the chair next to me his hand lazily hanging on the side of the bed.  He is so handsome.  I imagine what our baby would have looked like.  If it was a boy would it have been a spitting image of Trent.  Would those crystal blue eyes carry down to him or would they of had my brown or a mixture of both.  Would they have been athletic like their father or more artistic like me?  We will never know because I did something stupid and took that away from us.

“Trent” I whisper.  He stirs but doesn’t wake up so I nudge his hand with mine.  Those clear blues meet mine and I know what I need.  I shut him out too long.  “Come here.”   I scoot over on the bed holding the covers out for him. 

A small smile comes across his face and he climbs in with me. “Always Maddy.”  He holds my head in his hands kissing the top.  “I will always be here to hold you.”

Chapter 22 - Present Day