Love Me for Me (20 page)
I drank vodka and seven. She drank beer.
“I’m scared,” she told me as we started into our final round. She was dating someone new, someone far nicer than Brett had been. “I’m scared of being hurt again.”
I said nothing, because her words had made me realize something.
We were all scared. Relationships weren’t fairy tales, and love wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
I pondered this as I slurped the dregs of my drink. I was reaching into my purse for cash when I saw him. Alex.
He was walking to the exit of the pub. He was with a girl.
He caught my eye, and my heart seized painfully in my chest.
He smiled, the smile somewhat sad. And then he was gone, leaving me gasping for air like a fish out of water.
“Ex-boyfriend?” Maddy had watched the exchange with sympathy written all over her face.
“Something like that.” I muttered, and changed the subject.
Alex had made me happy. So happy. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t be happy on my own.
Still, my heart was tender as I trudged back across campus, and up to my dorm room. The nightmares had mostly gone, but I knew I wasn’t going to sleep well that night.
There was a figure standing outside my door. I startled, the way I thought I always would when taken unawares. But then I saw the lean lines, the dark hair, the gorgeous face.
It was Alex.
“Serena.” The sound of my name on his lips liquefied my insides. My knees wobbled as I made a show of fumbling for my key card in my purse.
“Hi, Alex.” My heart was pounding; I looked anywhere but at him.
And then my back was against the door, his lips on mine. He kissed me like he was drowning, and I kissed him back with every bit of pent up need that I’d held in check for the last eight weeks.
Down the hall, someone whistled. We broke apart, both of us panting. His eyes were slightly wild, and I suspected mine were the same.
We fit together like two pieces of the same puzzle. Another piece could be forced against either one of us, but it wouldn’t ever be the same.
“Hang on.” I slid the card through the reader, then silently led him into the dorm room. Kaylee was sitting on her bed playing with a flatiron.
She took one look at me and Alex and promptly slid off the bed.
“I’ll be back... later. Ish.” She said vaguely, then slid out the door.
We were alone.
I wanted nothing more than to fold myself into his arms, to kiss, to explore, to reacquaint myself with every inch of him. Instead I gestured to my bed, and when he sat as I’d asked, I perched on the edge of Kaylee’s.
“I owe you an explanation.” My words were still breathy from the kiss.
Alex held out his hands. “Serena, I get it. You do what you have to do to get by.”
I shook my head vehemently.
“No. I mean, yes, I guess so, but... I have to tell you this.” Sucking in a great mouthful of air, I steeled myself to speak the words I’d never spoken before.
“It started when I was fifteen...”
It took me an hour to tell, with fits and starts and tears. I told Alex about how I had once loved Bob. About how I’d been so happy when I was twelve and my mom had married him, excited that I was going to have a dad.
I told him about how my mom had started a new job when I was fifteen. About how the job took her out of town sometimes, and that was when he would come visit me in my room. The next day, as if in apology, he would leave me a bouquet of fresh cut lavender, in a crystal vase on my dresser.
“He told me no one would believe me if I told.” By this point we were lying side by side on my bed, our foreheads pressed together, our legs intertwined.
I’d forgotten how safe it felt, being close to him.
“I kept quiet for two years, and then I told my mom. She... didn’t believe me. Didn’t want to believe me, I don’t think.” Alex traced a finger over the lines of the scars on my shoulders, and I didn’t feel the need to pull away.
He’d been silent since I’d started talking, letting me get it all out.
“I started sleeping around, taking any attention and affection that I could.” I wasn’t angry at myself anymore. I’d done what I had to do to get through. “I put on a bunch of weight in self defense. And then I started cutting myself. It was a relief really, the way it let the pain drain away.”
“Never again.” Alex’s fingers tightened on my shoulders; they were the first words he’d spoken in almost an hour. “No harming yourself. You’re not alone anymore.”
“Never again,” I agreed. The ghost of a mile whispered over the corners of my lips. “When I came to college I decided to make a fresh start. And that day in Lodenville, I was forced into making another one, all over again.”
“And... how do you feel now?” His words were casual, but I understood what he was asking.
Had he given me enough time?
“I’ve never told anyone that story before. Not all of it.” I propped myself up on one elbow. Tracing my fingers over the edges of the tattoo that peeked out of the neckline of his shirt, I closed my eyes and savoured the sensation of being near him again.
While my eyes were closed, he moved in and kissed me. Initially a soft, sweet brush of the lips, it quickly turned hot, a frantic need to once again be together.
As his hand slid down to cup my hip, Alex broke the kiss fro just a moment. I moaned in protest, but when I heard his words I had to smile.
“I love you, Serena.” I leaned forward, captured his lips with my own again, reveling in the warmth his words brought.
“I love you, too.” I closed my eyes, and gave myself whole heartedly.
Alex loved me for me. And that was all I had to say about that
.
Make sure to check out the rest of the Safe Haven trilogy...
Kaylee’s story,
Love Me If You Dare
, will be available summer 2013
and Maddy’s story,
Say You Love Me
, comes out in fall 2013!
About The Author
Kate Laurens is a proud Canadian who loves beer, coffee, kickboxing and books. She loves to hear from her readers. She writes New Adult romance and falls a little bit in love with each hero that she writes.
@KateLaurens
Craving some more new adult romance?
Check out Ava Conway’s Hollow, available
May 2013, wherever e-books are sold!
Hollow Excerpt
Copyright 2013 by Ava Conway
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HOLLOW
Jayden kicked the door to my room closed with his foot and leaned back against the metal surface. “Are you all right?”
Was I? It had been so long since anyone had asked me that question. I wasn’t quite sure how to answer.
Instead of speaking, I curled up inside the safety of Jayden’s arms and buried my head in his chest. Perhaps, if I held tight enough, he’d ground me in the present and make all the ghosts of my past fade away.
“Lucy?” He tightened his grip around my body, as if he needed to hold me as much as I needed to be held.
I nodded as a lump formed in my throat. How did he learn my name? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was here. I was safe.
“Good.” He closed his eyes. “Good.”
It was in that moment that I realized we were alone. I blinked around at my surroundings, feeling a little uneasy. Unlike the other rooms in the hospital, mine had no pictures, no posters, nothing that would differentiate my room from anyone else’s. Even the bed next to mine was empty, as the staff hadn’t found a roommate for me yet.
Would he notice? Would he care? The thought of explaining my drab surroundings caused a hollow hole to form in the pit of my stomach.
He popped one eye open and looked at me, assessing. “You could have gotten hurt pretty bad back there, you know. Promise me that the next time a fight breaks out during group therapy, you’ll get out of the room.”
It was odd to have someone show so much concern for my well being. It felt kind of…nice. I leaned back and blinked up at his bright, blue eyes, suddenly hyper-aware of our closeness. Not only did his scent calm my frazzled nerves, but the feel of his hard body pressed up against mine made me warm all over. As my skin heated, something fluttered inside my lower abdomen, and the hollow feeling inside started to recede.
I nodded my promise. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Tension left his shoulders as he squeezed my body closer to his.
“Thank you.” He closed his eye and let out a long breath.
Part of me knew that it was a little odd to have him still hold me. The danger had passed and we were alone. I wasn’t a tiny girl. It couldn’t be easy for him to hold my weight for so long. Yet he made no move to put me down, and I was reluctant to have him let me go. It felt nice being cradled in his arms. Safe.
I traced his profile with my gaze. Jayden was gorgeous in a guy-next-door sort of way. Thick hair fell in waves across his temples. He had day-old scruff along his jaw and wore a small stud earring in one ear. All of that paled in comparison to the long scar on his temple, however. His hair covered most of it. If I wasn’t so close to him, I never would have seen it.
I wanted to reach out and touch that, but was afraid that my movement might break the quiet comfort that surrounded us.
He opened his eyes, and I jerked back from his gaze like a kid with her hand caught in the cookie jar.
Something indefinable flashed through his features as he straightened. “Oh God, I’m sorry.”
He lowered my body, inching it down over his rock-hard abs and waist until my feet hit the floor. He felt good rubbing up next to my skin, too good. I stood there, gripping his shoulders, not quite ready to let him go.
“I shouldn’t be here. It isn’t allowed,” he murmured more to himself than to me.
I held myself absolutely still. He was right, of course. The boys and girls bedrooms were in separate halls. They were strictly off limits to the opposite sex.
He ran his fingers along my cheek as he met my gaze. “Things will calm down soon and they’ll be checking rooms to make sure people are safe.” He shifted his gaze to my lips. “We’ll both get in trouble if they find me here.”
Heat slid down through my center and settled between my thighs. I slid my fingers along his neck and became aware of how the lump in his jeans pressed up against my lower abdomen. I knew he was right—he had to go—but I didn’t want him to leave. Not now, not ever.
He inhaled a ragged breath and moistened his lips. “Don’t leave this room until the staff has things under control, okay?”
I nodded, unable to speak. Tension crackled between us. My skin tingled with awareness. For the first time in a long time, I felt alive, really alive.
He moved his fingers along my lower back, stimulating my skin until my whole body melted against him. “I mean it, Lucy. Both Flynn and Nesto have good hearts, but that won’t prevent them from hurting you if you get in the way.”
Hearing him say my name felt like a caress. What he did back in the common area was heroic and sexy-as-hell. I could really use a hero in my life, someone to purge the past and save me from my private hell. I pressed my body closer.
“This is serious.” He gripped my biceps and eased me away from his chest.
I lifted my gaze to his.
Such beautiful blue eyes
. They held so much emotion, so much
life
.
He steeled his jaw for a moment, then relaxed his grip. “You don’t know how it works around here, do you?”
I stared at him, uncomprehending.
He made a low, frustrated noise. “The point system. Sedation Therapy.”
I didn’t know much beyond earning points for phone calls and visitors. Dr. Polanski had never mentioned Sedation Therapy before, and I suspected there was more Jayden wasn’t telling me. I shook my head.
He pressed his lips together and eased away from me. “No one showed you?” He began to pace. “You need to know how things work around here before you get yourself in trouble.”
Trouble like Nesto and Flynn
? I wanted to ask, but Jayden rushed on before I could form the words.
“I’ll have to show you, but not now.” He stopped and pressed his ear against the door. “Tomorrow after group therapy, we’ll talk. Will you be all right until then?”
I was more than just okay. No longer did I feel the despair of my future. I felt hope. I felt
him
.
“Good.” He closed the distance between us, framed my face with his hands, and kissed my forehead. “Stay safe.”
He let go and stepped back. The look on his face suggested that the spontaneous affection had surprised him as much as it did me. Cool air whispered against my skin, leaving me confused. I swayed on my feet as he opened the door and disappeared into the hallway.
Once again, I was alone.
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