Love Me ~ Like That (4 page)

They sent us home with muscadine jelly, which Mrs. Jackson told me is a wild berry that tastes like a grape. I’ve been raised in the country and already know that, but I let her tell me all about the process and how much she loves teaching her granddaughters. She seemed proud that she taught her two granddaughters how to make it.

Mom is back in the house putting things away. She constantly calls me in to ask where I want things. Honestly, I don’t care. She can arrange this house any way she wants, because this will be her house anyway. I plan on building another one as soon as I get this one the way she wants it. She doesn’t know that yet.

When I signed the deed on this fifty acres and little ranch style house, I knew my life was going to change forever, but what I didn’t know was my father had been planning to leave my mom. My one bedroom apartment suddenly became tiny when she moved in with me. Since then, I’ve been hurrying to get things done to make this place livable. I wasn’t planning on having mom live with me, but she is my mom and I wasn’t about to throw her out like yesterday’s trash. She has had enough of that the last twenty-five years. I can’t think about all of that again without getting angry, though. Besides, dwelling on something that can’t be changed is counterproductive. I’ve worked hard, saved most of my money, my company is doing well and taking care of my mom is what I want to do. I don’t want my mom to worry about payments or someone coming home and making her cry.

After heading inside for the night, I grab a beer, and settle back for some old sitcom reruns. Why is it that I can watch this stuff a thousand times, and still laugh every time I watch them? The beer helps take the edge off the stress that has become my life. Twenty-somethings aren’t supposed to be this stressed, or feel this ancient. At least that is what I’m told. I feel so much older than my twenty-six years. That may be because I’ve been working my ass off since I was sixteen years old. All through high school and college, I worked for a firm that did computer system analysis. I saved every penny I could along the way and when Paul, the owner, told me he wanted to retire, I invested all of my savings and financed a loan for the remainder to buy the business. I changed the name and developed new products and services. Now, Cashco is making more money than it ever has and I’m finally breathing a little easier. I have a staff of really good people that I trust which has afforded me the time off to work around here.

Mom comes into the room. “I’m getting a shower and going to bed. Is there anything you need before I do that?”

I’ve been on my own since college, until Mom moved in with me, and she’s been hovering.

She yawns.

She’s been working hard the last few days, too. “No, ma’am, you just take care of yourself, mom.”

She looks at me with red-rimmed eyes. “Cash, I know I’ve told you already, but son, I appreciate you doing this. I know it isn’t what you wanted to do, or had planned. I will get a job, as soon as I can, and be out of your hair.” She puts a hand up over her mouth, trying to control her emotions.

I get up and amble over to her. “Mom, I can’t think of anything else I would rather do. You’re my mom. It’s my job to take care of you. If I was in the same circumstances, you would do the same for me.” I give her a hug. I hate to see her hurting over my dad.

“You are a good person, Cash. You have always had such a good heart and I’m so proud of the man you have become. I just don’t want to become a hindrance to you finding happiness in your life. Not all relationships are like your dad’s and mine. They can be exceptional and there is a soul mate out there for everyone.” She sighs. “One day you are going to meet a girl, she is going to smile at you or laugh and you will know she is the one. She will be your best friend, the person you can tell anything. When you find her, hold on tight. You tell her how important she is to you, and make her feel special.”

Mom has never been philosophical, however here lately she has been telling me stuff like this and she has been so sad. I give her another hug and a kiss on the top of her head. “Mom, I will find someone one day but, I’m not in any hurry.” Laughing, I add, “She just better know how to cook as well as you do.” That makes her smile.

“Oh, Cash. Is food all you ever think about? There is some leftover meatloaf and some shrimp and grits in the fridge,” she says as she leaves the room.

I take off my boots and stretch my muscles. I’ve missed my daily workouts the last few weeks because I haven’t taken the extra time to get them in. Working out tomorrow won’t be possible either. I’ve got yard work to do and I told the Jacksons that I would get their yard while I was doing mine. They said their little granddaughter who lives with them mows their lawn, most of the time, but little girls shouldn’t have to do that. Their lot isn’t very big so it won’t take me very long anyway.

I do need to get out and meet people in town. Although my work is only forty miles from here, seventy-five miles from where we did live is far enough that we have a whole different town to get used to. I plan to get an early start in the morning so I can do just that tomorrow night. I have enough done around here that I can have a social life again.

In my room, I turn on my TV and set the sleep timer. I like to fall asleep watching reruns of Friends, but it isn’t on yet. Any sitcom will do, though. I just need noise. I set my clock for 6:30 because I want to be working by 7:30. The Jacksons said they get up early and 7:30 would be okay for me to mow.

As I settle in, I think about everything mom said tonight. I’ve been in serious relationships, but not the kind she’s talking about because it never bothered me to let the girls go. I’ve never been truly in love, even if I thought I was at the time. I’ll take Mom’s word that I will know my soulmate when I meet her. Maybe now’s the time I settle down. I would have to be physically attracted to her of course. I really like short women. Something about picking them up and holding them in my arms heats my blood.

Looks aren’t everything though, not at all. I’m all too aware of how looks can fade over time. Physical beauty may be only skin-deep, but someone can be ugly to the bone. She would have to have a good heart, to really care about people. Another thing, she can’t wear too much makeup. I hate women who look like they used a spatula to put that shit on. It makes me feel like they’re hiding something underneath it all.

I drift off thinking about this ideal woman I have all made up in my head. She has long brown hair and is a little sassy. She takes me off to dreamland.

What in the hell is that noise? I pull my pillow over my head to drown it. My god, the racket is so loud the pillow doesn’t help. I look over at my alarm clock with my blurry eyes. Sounds like our “wonderful” new neighbor is mowing the yard at freaking seven thirty. On a Saturday morning. What in the crap is wrong with this picture? I normally get up around eight, but I was up a lot last night with Papa. He didn’t have a good night.

Since I’m already awake, I go ahead and get up. It’s too early, but who can sleep with all of that noise? I slip on my cut-offs and a tank top, and pull my hair up in a high ponytail. I drag myself to the kitchen. Granny and Papa have already had breakfast. They don’t need me to cook breakfast for them. I was getting up to eat with them until I gained five pounds in the first two weeks. Granny’s breakfasts are simple, but homemade biscuits, bacon and eggs add on the pounds, especially when she insist you put her jelly on your biscuit. Oh, don’t get me started on her chocolate gravy—a thick, rich chocolate syrup or a thin pudding heaped over your biscuits. This delicacy is irresistible. After having that on your biscuits, you can die happy. But, you can’t eat like that and stay in a healthy weight range so I eat healthier, now—a bowl of Special K and a piece of fruit. But how I do crave that chocolate goodness. It has milk in it and that’s healthy, right?

Other than their breakfast, I try to make sure they eat healthy. I keep plenty of fruit all cut up and on hand. The same with the fresh veggies for salads and snacking. The easier I make things for them to eat, the more likely they are to eat it. They are kind of like kids, in that regards. Feeding them is the easy part of taking care of them. Granny is easy all together. I get her medicine ready on a weekly basis, so she will remember to take it. I do the grocery shopping and clean the house. I roll her hair up in these old fashion rollers a couple of times a week and she is happy.

Papa is a different story. Bless his heart; he can’t help it. He gets agitated if anything changes in his schedule. I’m constantly watching for signs that he may be getting upset so I can deflect as much as possible.

He is full of mischief these days. Sometimes his behavior is comical and sometimes it’s very frustrating. He hides things from me, like my car keys and his medicine. He thought the highlights in my hair were gray hairs once. While I was really into watching a movie with Granny, he cut off a chunk of my hair. I try so hard to not lose my temper with him, but I did that day. That’s when I started learning deep breathing exercises. They don’t always work, but they help some. I’ve also learned to do the hiding of things. Things like my purse, my phone, and every pair of scissors in the damn house.

“Good morning,” Granny calls out in her singsong voice.

I scoot by her. “Mornin’, Granny, did you manage to get any sleep last night?” I mumble, barely awake.

She shakes her head.

Poor thing, I hate that for her. “Maybe you can take a little catnap later.” I open the fridge and take out the sweet tea. Sweet tea is my form of coffee. I crave my caffeine fix. I have to have my delicious nectar as soon as I wake up. I sip on a glass all day long. I really don’t drink many sodas, just my sweet tea. If a restaurant around here doesn’t have sweet tea, I don’t go there. If I go there by mistake, I just have water. You just can’t sweeten tea right after it’s already cold. Give me sweet tea over any glass of wine, or godforsaken beer. I’m supposed to love beer because I’m country girl, but I hate that nasty ale. Lizzie, on the other hand, can drink some beer. She has been known to get a little wild and crazy, going home with everyone and anyone who asks. But that was our first couple of years of college when we were both a little wild.

“Is there any reason why we are having the yard mowed so early?” I sit at the table across from Granny. She likes to sit with me and sip on her coffee while I eat my bowl of cereal. I enjoy this time we always take to be together.

“Oh, he wanted to get our yard and his yard finished before it got too hot with humidity. I heard on the news the temperature is going to be close to a hundred today.” She grins over her cup of steaming coffee.

I’m waking up now. “Did he ever stop to think some people like to sleep in a little on a Saturday morning?” I raise one eyebrow then laugh.

She covers her mouth with one hand. “Baby, that’s my fault. I told him that would be okay, I didn’t even think about you wanting to sleep in today.”

She comes across apologetic because she takes everyone’s feelings into consideration. Who could ever be mad at her? “I needed to be up anyway, I want to work in those flowers out there.” I give her a little wink and a grin, so she knows I’m not upset with her.

We sit and talk for a little bit before I get up to clean up the breakfast dishes. She asks me again about the family reunion coming up. “Did you ask Henry last night about coming to our picnic?”

I let out a sigh as I wash the dishes. “Granny, that’s not really his thing. His family isn’t close like ours, so he doesn’t understand the importance of the occasion. I forgot to ask him last night, but when I talk to him again, I will ask him.”

She gives me her knowing look—the look that tells me Lizzie has been talking to her. Granny has a way of getting information out of you before you know you even told her.

“Well, it’s two weeks from today and I’m going to invite our new neighbors too. They don’t have any family around here.”

Good, I can change the subject, “Where are they from, Granny?”

“I don’t remember her saying, but her son works over in Muscle Shoals.”

“That’s a long drive.”

Granny shrugs. She has never driven a day in her life and always depended on Papa to take her everywhere. Now I take them everywhere. We took Papa’s license and keys away from him a couple of years ago. He wasn’t very happy about giving up those, but in the end I think he knew it wasn’t safe for him to drive anymore.