Love Me Not (4 page)

I unzipped my pants and slipped them off.

They stopped, and the brunette sat up to let me slide into bed between them.

The blonde claimed my lips, and the brunette touched me, my lower abs, my hips. Then, lightly, she touched my penis with her fingertips. I managed to keep kissing the blonde while the brunette explored.

Soft lips on the tip of my penis.

A slight moan escaped my throat.

The blonde met my lips one more time and then shifted down to join her friend.

“Are you ready?” the blonde murmured to her friend.

The brunette shifted to lie back, and I moved on top of her. I kissed her deeply, and her legs spread wide. The blonde caressed the brunette’s skin. Her touch seemed sensuous and loving. I knew this was going to be a nice evening. In threesomes, jealousy sometimes appeared. I had to be careful to distribute my attention evenly. These girls obviously cared about each other, more concerned about the experience being pleasurable for the other. Right now the blonde and I were a team, both focused on the brunette.

I rubbed my dick against her, making sure we were both wet. Moisture was not a problem. This seemed so easy. I wondered how she could have any doubts about her sexuality.

I murmured in her ear. “Are you ready for me to take your virginity?”

She was breathless.

Slowly, I pushed the bloated head of my penis through her soft opening. Her breath pulled in. I had been told the head of my penis was especially large, that women could feel it better, its exact path as it travelled up into a woman.

“What’s it feel like?” the blonde whispered to the brunette.

The brunette’s head rolled back, and then she looked at her friend. Her voice barely made sound. “Better than a dildo.”

The blonde smiled and kissed her. I lay a gentle hand on the blonde, encouraging her to stay, to be a part of this. I began moving in and out of the brunette. It felt like the blonde made love to her while I fucked her.

A little while later, the brunette squealed with pleasure. I did not come, too busy watching them, the way they touched each other, the way they kissed.

They were in love.

As soon as the brunette’s orgasm was over, I started on the blonde. I did her from behind while she lay on top of the brunette. They made love to each other. I just provided the penis. It was the perfect scenario. There was no chance of an attachment to me developing, which was more common for the younger ones, especially the virgins. But the brunette hadn’t really lost her virginity to me—she lost it to the blonde, her friend, her lover.

I stayed hard, but I didn’t come.

We went for a long time. I enjoyed myself, and they moaned a lot.

When they left, they both kissed me goodbye and then walked out while holding each other. The door closed, and I was alone again.

Chapter 6

Jane

I didn’t get up, didn’t take my notebook out, didn’t even retrieve my afghan. I lay there staring into the darkness.

Morning brought with it my next appointment. It was Jane. I was happy to see a familiar face. Familiarity was easier.

“I hear you met Sarah,” she said as she unbuttoned her blouse.

“Yeah.”

“You impressed her. That’s not easy.”

I smiled.

She climbed into bed with me, and we lay down. Jane was not one for foreplay, and she could be rather aggressive. She told me before that it’d been a problem in the past, men not able to handle an assertive woman, and that she liked that it wasn’t a problem for me.

Her hand pulled through my still-wet hair as we kissed. I’d gotten up with barely enough time to rinse off.

She shifted closer, on top of me.

I rolled her over.

“Really?” she said with a smirk.

I pressed against her and slid my tongue into her mouth. She didn’t argue, didn’t even pretend to argue. I knew how to handle her.

I entered her, and we moved together. I kept my lips on hers. The sex was slow, sensuous. I lost myself in it. Then images changed. Kimber was here with me, her fair skin and firm body. I was making love to her.

My dick pulsed and body tightened. I felt desperate to push deeper, to connect us.

She breathed in my ear as she said my name. “Heath.”

I kissed her neck, and the name Kimber almost escaped my lips until I realized, and was startled by the realization, that she wasn’t Kimber. She was Jane, a married woman with a family, who came to me because her husband didn’t satisfy her.

We weren’t making love. We were only having sex. My awareness of the distinction used to be barely existent, if at all. Something was wrong with me.

I felt as Jane moved closer to climax, and I realized I wasn’t going to come, again. It would bother Jane if I didn’t—I always did, and women seemed to gain some satisfaction in it, like verification of their sexual charm and abilities.

There was only one way I was going to come. I told myself I did it for Jane, because I didn’t want to upset her. I thought about Kimber, dove into the fantasy. I swore I could feel as my dick thickened.

She moaned in my ear. I heard only Kimber’s voice.

She clung to me with her legs, and her fingers clawed into my back. Her moans were louder. Her body tightened as she peaked.

I kept going. I wanted to come, to give of myself to Kimber, to become a part of her.

Her moans returned, and quickly grew louder. Kimber’s voice rippled through me and then sank deep into my groin.

“Heath,” she cried.

I exploded in her just as she peaked again.

We slowed. Then I stopped and leaned my head against her shoulder. I could barely remember how to breathe, could barely remember why it was necessary.

“Holy shit,” she forced out. “That has to be the best…I didn’t think you could get any better.” It was Jane’s voice again.

I took a breath, resigned myself to reality, and lifted a few inches so I could look at her. My smile was charming and arrogant, the one she seemed to like the best.

“You’ve been holding back,” she said, “haven’t you?”

“Now why would I do that?”

She grinned. “Perhaps to give yourself time to distinguish the weak of heart. Not everyone could handle that.”

“Maybe you just did an exceptional job of turning me on.” I pulled out of her as I sat up on my knees.

“Definitely,” she said, still grinning. “That has to be it.” She slid out of bed then and almost fell. She grabbed the nightstand to steady herself.

I laughed.

“Let’s see
you
try to walk,” she said. It looked like it took all her focus not to fall as she grabbed her clothes.

I lay back down and watched her dress. Elegant, fashionable Jane looked funny for once. I didn’t get up partially because I knew I’d look just as funny.

After Jane left, I lay in bed awhile longer. Then I finally decided to get my ass up and shower. I was dying of hunger—I realized I hadn’t eaten dinner. And now that I thought about it, I hadn’t eaten lunch yesterday, too busy selling.

This time, while I stood under the shower, I did my damnedest not to think of the auburn-haired girl. The bitch was starting to plague me. It was unacceptable. Women weren’t allowed to affect me like this anymore. I slept with them, and that was it, nothing more.

I went out the front so I could spy if Penny had gotten up early enough to get her coffee. She didn’t like waking early and usually didn’t have time to stop on the way.

There were no cups behind the counter. I smirked and kept walking. She was rearranging a display by the door.

“Venti, I assume?” I said.

“Yeah.” Her smiled was the thankful kind.

I missed her smile. I remembered seeing it all the time when I was little. I’d kiss her cheek before getting on the school bus, and she’d smile and wave at me as it pulled away. And she was always there when I returned home. My friends used to ask if she was my mom—I never knew what to say to that. I didn’t want to lie, but if I told them she was my sister, then they asked where my mom was. Even when I was little, I knew my mom was insane.

At least I had Penny. We didn’t know who our fathers were. She was all I had, all I’d ever had. When I was with Cassie, I thought I’d gained someone more. I learned from that nightmare that Penny was the only one I could count on, no matter how nuts she drove me. We always stuck together.

I walked down the way to Starbucks. I had them add a third shot of espresso. Penny looked like she needed it. I hoped she could find some help for the shop soon.

As I walked back toward the shop’s door, I noticed the “help wanted” sign was down. Perhaps it’d fallen.

It wasn’t on the floor inside.

I looked around to find Penny so I could give her the coffee and ask if she’d found someone for the shop already. She was at the new arrivals display, talking with a woman.

The woman had auburn hair. She turned her head toward Penny, and I could see her face.

Kimber.

Son of a fucking bitch.

I walked through the shop, intent on leaving the coffee behind the counter and escaping to my room. I liked my room simply because no one came there unless they’d paid for my time.

What the fuck, she hired her? What in the hell was I going to do?

“Heath,” Penny said.

I almost ignored her and kept going.

With a sigh, I turned, lifted her coffee so she could see it, and set it down behind the counter. I started toward the back hallway door.

“Heath,” she said again. “Hang on.”

I turned back around to face her, sure my expression was not the most pleasant.

She walked over and stood at the other side of the counter from me. “Hey, I wanted to see if you’d give me just a little help, since your schedule is open the rest of the day.”

“What do you need?” Hopefully an errand so I could get the hell out of here.

“The new girl needs trained. You know, just the basics, running the cash register and—”

“No,” I said. “I have something else to do.”

Her eyebrows pulled together. I never had anything else to do.

Kimber looked over and smiled a little.

“No,” I said again to Penny and then disappeared down the back hall.

Chapter 7

Elizabeth’s Sister

I sat in my room and glared at the door when Penny knocked.

Eventually, she left me alone.

I just sat there. I couldn’t read or even write. Last night’s bang was a fucking masterpiece. My God, I’d convinced a lesbian she was bisexual—every man’s egotistical dream. But I didn’t feel like writing it down. I was too pissed off.

Why in the hell did Penny have to hire
her
? Fucking A.

Maybe I could convince Penny the girl was a shitty employee. But then I’d have to know more about her, so I could point out exactly
why
she needed fired. I couldn’t tell Penny the real reason—because I was too attracted to the girl. I wasn’t sure what Penny would think about that.

And then there was a part of me, under all the anger, that was excited to see Kimber again. I hadn’t thought I’d get to. That part of me wanted to get up and go out front, see if I could watch her without seeming like some freak stalker.

I kept my ass parked here.

A knock—not on my door but like on metal. Who in the hell was knocking on the door out back? Maybe Penny had taken out a bag of trash and accidentally locked herself out.

I went out to the hall to the back door, which was right next to my room. I opened the door to a familiar face.

“Elizabeth,” I said. “What are you doing?”

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

“Come here.” I guided her to my room and closed the door.

She sat on the edge of the bed with slumped shoulders, and I kneeled in front of her on the floor.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I shouldn’t…I didn’t know where else to go.”

I spoke gently. “What’s wrong?”

“I knew he was cheating, but…That’s why I came here. I felt a little less betrayed if I was…And you made me feel better.”

Her hand in mine, I rubbed the back of it with my thumb.

She didn’t look me in the eye. “It’s so fucking pathetic. My best friend is my goddam gigolo.”

I’d never heard her swear before.

“I am your friend,” I said. “I would be even if…”

“Even if I didn’t pay you to screw me?”

A pause.

She stood. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…You don’t need to deal with my shit.”

I sat up on my knees and held on to her hand. “Elizabeth.”

She looked down at me.

“Come here.” I took her other hand, and she sat on the floor with me. I pulled her to my chest and held her.

We were quiet for a long time. She let me hold her while she cried. Her usually straight and proud frame hunched into itself. She tremored slightly with soft sobs, and then the sobs calmed and it was only tears.

My voice was quiet, as soothing as I could make it. “What happened?”

She held me tighter.

I smoothed my hand down her hair. “Elizabeth.”

She sat up and took a breath.

Then Penny’s voice came from the other side of the door. “Heath, do you want lunch?”

“I’m sorry,” Elizabeth said. “You probably have appointments and things.”

“Nothing for the rest of the day.” Then I turned my head toward the door and spoke louder. “No, thank you.”

Penny’s footsteps faded away.

I held Elizabeth’s hand. “What happened?”

“He’s cheating.” She said it like that should explain everything.

“With who?” I’d already figured he was cheating, and that she’d accepted it a while ago, not that she was okay with it, just that she’d accepted it. This was about something else.

“Do you…” she started. “Do you ever feel bad for what you do for a living?”

“Not really.”

Her eyebrows pulled together.

“Do you feel bad for coming here?” I said.

She paused then shook her head.

I raised an eyebrow.

“If he’s getting satisfied,” she said, “then I should get it too. And at least I’m only betraying physically.”

“That’s why you chose me instead of having an affair.” This seemed to be common thinking for the women I saw. And several had told me they felt safer. If their friends trusted me, then they felt they could too.