Love Me: The Complete Series (44 page)

“I didn’t run—” Amanda stopped when Jackson put a finger over her lips.

“It’s okay. We can’t go back, and I don’t think either of us wants to. I realize I’m just a lazy, rich boy in the public eye but I have a chance to change all that now. With Dad sick, there’s no way I’m going to let things go down the toilet in his absence. I’m not asking you to be my friend again—I’m asking for your
help.
There’s nothing wrong with us helping each other even if we can’t be friends.” Because he wanted so much more.

Her eyes clouded and a single tear streaked down her cheek. Why was she crying? “Why me, Jax? There are a hundred other attorneys out there who understand the law well enough to work with you. Why me?”

“Why
not
you? We get along, we think the same way, you’ve already seen this contract, and know better than me what the goal was originally. You’re the best person among us to do this work. Surely you know that as well as I do? I promise I’ll behave and keep all the personal stuff out of things.”

“See, that’s the problem, Jax.” Amanda hiccupped and another water droplet rolled down her cheek. It settled in the corner of her mouth and damned if he didn’t want to lick it away, to taste the saltiness. “You like me for my mind, and, ironically, I like that part of you too—I just happen to like everything else equally. In fact, as much as I wish all that was over, it isn’t. Not for me, and if you ask me to do this work for you, it means I have to keep hanging around you and pretending that I don’t feel anything. I have to pretend that it didn’t completely ruin me when you made David fire me. I can’t—”

A cold wave of fear washed down his spine. “Made David fire you? What are you talking about? I didn’t make David fire you. He said you quit and that you didn’t want to work with me because I was causing you issues.”

Her eyes returned to his, widening in surprise. “He told
me
you suggested I leave because I was distracting you from work. That it was awkward and you didn’t know how to handle the situation. He suggested I save you the trouble by exiting gracefully since you could never leave.”

Jackson shivered. The cold flooded him from head to foot. He let it soak in, let it overtake him completely before rage rushed in behind.

“That fucking bastard.”

Jackson wanted to deck the asshole. Just not now. Right now, all he wanted was to—he dropped his mouth to Amanda’s. In fact, he came in so fast he probably crushed her lips or perhaps slightly bruised them. He didn’t care. Amanda Gillespie was no distraction. Not in a bad way, at least. How dare David give her that impression? Why would he do it? What possible motive could he have to run off one of their best employees?

Jackson gave in to the earlier desire to lick the tear from her mouth and enjoyed the saltiness of Amanda’s skin. She mumbled something against his mouth, then opened so he could delve into a deep-throated kiss full of the fire he knew was there.

In the back of his head, the words Carter had said on the phone just before she showed up flickered as if thumping him to remember.
I really like her, Jax. I think I want to take it to the next level and make a commitment.

Jackson stilled. Yeah, he should back off—but Amanda strung her left hand into his hair and continued to kiss him as if he were ice cream. She thrust the fingers of her right hand between the buttons of his shirt and trailed circles against his collarbone.
Sorry, Carter.
Jackson trailed kisses down Amanda’s neck and ran his fingers along the smoothness of her skin until he felt the tip of her nipple straining against the cloth in invitation.
I really like her too. In fact, I think—whoa. No.

“Stop.” He pulled Amanda’s hand from his neck and stared into the hazy lust that egged him to keep going. Somehow they’d made their way into her house and down the hall during the kissing. A dark doorway loomed ahead and he knew where it led. Knew it was only a few feet away from a decision that would change his friendship with both Carter and Amanda. And probably detour his life.

“You’re telling me to stop? Jackson, you’re the one who started this. You kissed me. Take a look at where your hands are at the moment and tell me what you’re thinking.”

He glanced down at his traitorous body. One hand on her right breast, the other clenched into the soft fabric covering her ass. What was he thinking? How completely awesome it would be to strip every inch of fabric off her and throw her on the bed that had to be in that dark room. That was what he was thinking. “I’m thinking the only thing wrong with you is this: you have way too much clothes on and the last thing I give a shit about is your mind.” Oops, he should clarify. “Not that I don’t love your mind but right now, I’d rather worship this part of you.”

He cupped her breast and lifted to his mouth so that he could bite through the fabric of her shirt. She let out a squeak of pleasure, then ran her tongue over lips that were already swollen from his kisses. There was a small amount of satisfaction at the way they plumped. “So, I take it we’re not talking shop, then? Wasn’t that why you came here?”

Jackson shot his eyes at the ceiling and ran his hands around her waist. “Okay, here’s the truth, Amanda. I didn’t come here to talk shop or to go over that contract. I didn’t come here to be friends either. The only reason I was sleeping on your doorstep at one a.m. was pure green-as-hell jealousy. I couldn’t stand the thought of you sleeping with Carter and I was just praying you’d come home and he wouldn’t have convinced you to—you know—eat those damn brownies.”

Amanda’s eyes glistened in the darkness. “Oh, but I
did
eat the brownies. They were good too.”

Uh oh. “Does that mean what I think it does?”

Amanda tugged at the top button on his shirt until it came open. She moved to the next one and it cooperated quickly by opening at first try. “It means I ate the brownies, thought about what you said they represented to him, and realized I couldn’t go through with it. As much as I like Carter … I meant what I said earlier. He’s not you.”

The sweet warmth of relief trickled through his veins. Her words were all Jackson needed. He scooped her up and walked her backward through the darkened door.

The following morning Jackson opened his eyes and evaluated his situation while watching her sleep. Amanda was a restless sleeper. For someone who always seemed calm under pressure, she was anything but in her sleep. She rolled and kicked—and mumbled. He tried desperately to decipher the words but couldn’t. At one point during the night, he woke to find her head lying on his stomach and a hand played across his chest. It was oddly comforting. She must have liked it as well because she stayed like that the remainder of the night.

He didn’t mind her hair tickling across his waist, tempting him to move it back so he could see her face. When his watch signaled time to move, he slipped from underneath and searched out his clothes. She propped her chin on elbows and tossed her head to get the hair from her eyes.

“Hey.”

“Hey, yourself.” He smiled. “Are you okay this morning?” He didn’t mean it in a trivial, hey-how-are-you way and she knew as much.

She shrugged and the hair threatened to fall back over her eyes. “Yeah, fine. Guess I’d better hit the shower. There’s probably something in the kitchen if you’re hungry.” She walked to the bathroom and it took every ounce of willpower for Jackson to watch and not follow. Amanda’s skin was perfection.

“Nah, I need to get to the hospital. It’s my day to help dad with his therapy. See you?” He wasn’t sure whether to ask when or not. It was awkward, sleeping with someone you cared about enough to want to stay.

He heard a squeak of metal, then the swish of water spray as she started the shower. Her voice rose above the sound. “Sure, I’ll look over that contract and get back to you by end of day. Don’t make any rash decisions until you hear from me, okay?”

That was it. Professional. Cool. And—finished. It was neat and tidy. Jackson hated neat and tidy.

“Okay.” His keys rustled in the pocket of his pants as he slipped a foot into the leg. He wasn’t ready to go. His stomach knotted. Jackson looked at the hallway, knowing Dad was awake and waiting, then back to the bathroom with an open door and steam wafting his way. “Fuck it.” He dropped the pants and strode to step into the shower. The sting of warm water rushed over his shoulders as he slipped between the spray and Amanda. Her eyes popped open and he smiled. “Mind if I look over this particular contract a bit more? The you-and-me contract? We wouldn’t want to make any rash decisions, would we?”

A lazy, satisfied grin crossed her lips and he realized she had wanted him to follow. What would have happened if he hadn’t? Would she have written him off forever? Ticked him off the list? It had been a rash decision to join her—thank God for rash decisions.

“Of course not. Level-headed people like ourselves never make a decision without evaluating all the facts.”

He ran his lips across the slickness of her wet shoulder. “That’s right.”

Jackson began evaluating every nook and cranny of those facts, spot by spot, until Amanda let out a soft sexy squeal. She then turned to him and layered kisses down his chest and other regions until he lost control himself. He left over an hour later, knowing that the facts were about as clear as he’d ever seen.

He was in love with Amanda Gillespie.

• • •

When Jackson entered the hospital room, his father’s bed was empty. He headed to the nurse’s station where the attendant was actively listening to a phone receiver perched on her shoulder. With a single head motion, she directed Jackson toward the physical therapy room.

The one good thing about his Dad’s stroke—Jackson could talk without any pending argument since the man couldn’t respond. His words were beginning to come but so stilted that Robert used them sparingly. Sweat spackled his forehead. Therapy was grueling but he seemed to improve daily.

“Dad, I need to tell you something and please don’t repeat it to Mom, okay? It’s a secret.”

“Sss, sss, sss,” His father chuckled. The chances of repeating anything at the moment were pretty unlikely and thankfully he appreciated the humor.

“I met someone and I’m pretty sure she’s going to stick.”

“Sssssick?”

Jackson wasn’t surprised to hear the word. Robert was piecing together more and more words as the days passed. He seemed to have trouble with R’s and T’s, hence “sick” instead of “stick.”

“Yes, that’s right. There’s a couple of problems, though. One of them is pretty major and I’m not sure what to do.”

His father grunted as Jackson moved his leg, bending into a tight curl. “Dooo I.”

“What?”

“Dooo I.” Was that I or eye? What was Dad trying to say?

Jackson puzzled for a moment.
Oh.
“Yes, I’ll try to do right.” Just like a parent to burst your bubble. “Now, let’s stop talking and work your legs and arms. Concentrate on that and don’t talk, okay?”

More conversation would just make Jackson reveal how wrong his relationship with Amanda might be and he wasn’t ready to divulge further.

Jackson rolled his father to his side with the help of his therapist and began working the leg from hip to knee in a circular motion. His cell chirped in his pocket and he debated answering. What if it was Amanda?

“Excuse me a minute, Dad.” With one hand holding his father, he used the other to retrieve the device and glance at the display. Not Amanda. He answered anyway. “Hey Carter, what’s up?”

Carter’s voice was chipper. “A lot, actually. Remember my neighbor, Maddie? She broke her leg again and now I’m babysitting her dog.”

Jackson feigned interest. “The big beast that sounded like a freight train bouncing around her place?”

“Yep, that’s the one. He’s actually pretty good on a leash.”

“You’re keeping him for her? At your place? How are you managing that with all the travel?” Jackson was glad to discuss anything but Amanda. Avoid that subject, please.

“No, I just walk him at night for her. Which is great because it gives me a chance to scout the park for that runner we scoped out a while back. Remember her?”

Yeah, he remembered. Black hair, fit as an athletic trainer or yoga instructor, but with a serious focus on her steps as if she were counting each one. “What about Amanda?”

Crap, there he went—avoiding the subject like an idiot. “Hey, just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu. Isn’t that what your dad always said?”

Jackson watched as foamy spit bubbled from the corner of his dad’s mouth. His dad said that, all right, but he wasn’t exactly a model to follow. He’d definitely done more than just look at the menu on multiple occasions. Ironic that he was now totally dependent on the very woman whom he’d betrayed. “I guess. Look, I’m with Dad right now.”

“Oh, how’s he doing with his therapy?”

Robert grunted an “ow” and Jackson glanced his way. Oops. Somewhere in the conversation, Jackson had lifted his Dad’s leg to a point that had him somewhat dangling mid-air.

“Uh, sorry Dad.”

“What’s wrong?” Carter’s voice came through the phone.

“Nothing. I just kind of overextended the therapy a little.” The bubbles on the corner of Robert’s mouth spewed as his father huffed a strong breath.

The old man lifted an arm and grasped Jackson. “Ssssay hhhhhi.”

Carter nodded and lowered his father’s leg. It would probably be better to just do a few ankle rotations while talking. “Dad says hi. So, why’d you call?”

“Hi back. Nothing much. I just wanted a little advice. It can wait.”

Jackson stuck the phone between his ear and shoulder and grasped his dad with both hands. He held the instep and with the other hand worked the foot in a circular rotation. He noticed a bit of tension releasing in his back muscles. Obviously, Carter wasn’t aware of Jackson’s night yet. He should say something. “Go ahead. Shoot. I’m here.”

“Amanda was here last night for dinner. It was great.”

Wait, he thought it was a work-related advice thing. “Great, as in you made your famous brownies?”

Jackson heard a snicker. “Yeah, I made them all right. It was great. Listen, I think I could actually do this. You know.”