Love of the Game (30 page)

This
was why she avoided it.

Passion had a way of turning dark and deadly.

“Kasha, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm just so frustrated right now. Please, open the door so we can talk.”

She couldn't make herself open it. She stood in the kitchen trembling, that seven-year-old kid again, terrified by her feelings.
Keep quiet. Lie low. He'll go away
.

But he didn't.

The back door swung inward, bumped against the wall with enough force to make her jump.

She spun around to see Axel standing there, dressed in blue jeans and a plain black T-shirt, his hair mussed, his eyes dark and smoldering. He was breathing as hard as she was, his chest jerking up and down, heavy and fast, as if he'd sprinted a mile in four minutes.

“You're trespassing,” she said, her voice high and reedy. “Don't make me call the cops.”

“I've been trying to contact you for hours. How come you haven't returned my calls or texts? I was out of my mind with worry.” He stalked into the room and kicked the door closed behind her.

It slammed.

She flinched.

“You scared the hell out of me,” he said. “I thought you were hurt, or worse . . .”

She straightened, searched around inside for equanimity, found none. Where had her calm gone? How had he disarmed her of her weapon so completely? All she wanted to do was fling herself into his arms and kiss him madly.

“Kasha?” His scowl disappeared and his voice softened. “Are you all right?”

“I . . . I didn't feel like talking.”

“Like it or not,” he insisted, coming closer, his eyes blazing, his jaw muscles clenched tight, “you're going to talk to me.”

“You should be in New York. You're going to get in trouble. We covered all this last week. There's nothing left to say,” she murmured, feeling her knees loosen.

“The hell there's not.” The force of his personality filled the room, large and energetic, but nonthreatening. “I love you, dammit, and I know you love me too. We can't walk away from a love like this.”

She took one look into those smoldering brown eyes and she could not resist him. She did love him with every inch of her heart, mind, body, and soul!

“Axel,” she said. “What
are
you doing here?”

He stepped forward, a somber expression carved on his face. Her pulse sped up. Seeing that dark expression made her realize how often he smiled, how startled she was not to see his affable grin.

“I refused the trade,” he said. “I'm retiring. How could you not know? It's been all over the news.”

Her jaw worked, but no words came out. He'd come home to be with her?

“Are you all right?” he asked, coming to stand beside her.

“I'm fine—” She stopped herself, and dropped her defenses because she knew she could trust him. Knew that he only had her best interest at heart. “That's not true. I'm not fine. I haven't even turned on the TV or gone outside. I've avoided my entire family—and I'm sure they wanted to tell me what you'd decided . . . I've been a wreck.”

“I know,” he said, moving closer. “Jake and Rowdy both told me how you've been ducking everyone It's okay. You've held your feelings in for so long that
now you're finally letting go, it's natural to feel like things are falling apart. They're not. You're okay. You're safe.”

“You make me feel safe,” she murmured.

“It's not me,” he said. “It's us. Together. The hope chest was right. The wine predicted it. True love. No more denying it, Kasha. We're in this.”

A
xel couldn't wait one second longer. He had to touch her, hold her. He pulled her into his arms, crushed his mouth to hers, tasted what he'd been longing to taste.

“Axel,” she whispered. “Oh, Axel, how I've missed you.”

He bent to scoop her into his arms.

“No,” she said as he slipped his hands around her and lifted her off her feet. “I'm too big. You'll hurt your shoulder—”

“Shh, no arguments.” He carried her into the bedroom and kicked the door closed.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, held him tightly.

Pride swelled his chest. Pride and joy and love for her. So damn much love he could scarcely breathe.

“I was worried I would forget what you looked like,” she said, and laughed nervously.

“It's okay. I'm anxious too. But you're imprinted on the backs of my eyelids, babe. Every time I close my eyes, there you are.”

“I couldn't
see
you clearly,” she said, “because I
felt
you so hard. Whenever I tried to imagine your face, I felt it instead. The firm jut of your jaw, the bristle of your beard stubble, the hard calluses on your palms.”

She pressed her palm against his cheek, and the backs of her bare knees were warm against his arms.

He closed his eyes, felt queasy joy, her heady lavender scent spinning his mind like a top, his body bathed in her brilliant heat.

The lazily rotating ceiling fan in her bedroom cooled things off minutely.

“But a year without playing baseball,” she said. “What are you going to do?”

“Paint,” he answered. “Rest. Heal. Spend my days making love to you.”

T
wenty minutes later they lay on their sides in her bed, facing each other, hands stacked beneath their heads.

Kasha gazed into the eyes of her beloved, and experienced an earthquake of desire so strong it rocked her world and in a good way, in the very best possible way. She loved this man with everything she had inside her. Loved him fiercely, deeply, forever, and she was no longer afraid of her feelings.

She had fought so hard against these feelings. Terrified they would turn lethal. Yes, he had changed her, but for the better, so much the better. Whenever she was with him she was more. More herself. More involved. More open to the world.

Because of him, she'd faced her fears and self-doubts and overcome them. She was her own person, free of her tragic family legacy, unhampered by her DNA. She was in charge of her own life. She could make happy, healthy choices without hesitation.

They smiled at each other, big and hard and wonderful. They lay in bed and looked at each other and listened to the sound of the rain drumming on the tin roof, and Kasha felt so much happiness she couldn't stop a single perfect tear from rolling down the side of her nose.

“You're crying,” Axel murmured, reaching to blot her tear with his index finger. “Why are you crying?”

“You opened the floodgates,” Kasha said. “Look out. I'm likely to cry at a moment's notice these days.”

“I can handle it.” His smile was smug. He'd ruined her for anybody else and he knew it.

Dusky sunlight seeped in through the half-shuttered plantation blinds. It was raining outside. The wind whipped soggy tree branches against the window, a whispery back and forth like God's paintbrush. It felt so cozy and safe here in Axel's arms.

She looked into his dear eyes and her heart raced, stumbled. She was so happy to be here, and yet she felt unexpectedly, untypically shy. He sat up in a square of dim light falling across his honed chest muscles.

“How are things with Emma?” he asked. “I saw the custody papers on your table.”

“As much as I want her to live with me, I've realized that was pure selfishness on my part. Emma needs structure. She needs peers her own age. And she needs more supervision than I can give her. At the group home, she's already got those things. She's settled in. If I uproot her, bring her here, she has to start all over.”

“It's a big decision either way.”

“And it's not as if I'm abandoning her. I'll see her as often as I can. Bring her home a couple of weekends a month. Be her family. But she is an adult and has a life of her own. I need to respect that. I was seeing her as a child, and that was my mistake.”

“This isn't easy for you.”

She shook her head, pressed her lips together. “No, but I have to do what's right for Emma, not what's right for me. I was trying to rescue her and
she doesn't need rescuing. It wasn't about Emma . . .” Her voice broke.

Axel rubbed the flat of his palm up and down her back. “It's okay, you don't have to talk about it.”

“No, I want to talk about it. I need to talk about it. I kept so many dark things buried deep inside of me for so long. I don't want to do that anymore. I love the way you brought light and energy into my life. I'm not going to hide from the truth anymore.”

“What is the truth, Kasha?”

Her smile was wistful. “I wasn't trying to save Emma. I was trying to rescue that seven-year-old girl hiding in the Carlyles' garden shed. She was the one who needed saving. Not Emma. Emma had a wonderful mother who took great care of her and kept her safe. And she's got a place now where she fits, where she's happy.”

“Oh, Sphinx,” he said. “I wish I could have rescued you.”

“It's okay.” Her smile was shaky. “Maggie and Dan saved me. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be the woman I am today. But even though they loved me with all their heart, I've always kept a part of myself shut down, terrified of getting hurt. I kept that lonely little girl shut off, cut off, and I thought I'd conquered my emotions. It wasn't until you . . .” She took a deep breath. “Well, you were the one who finally got through to me, Axel, and I'll always be grateful to you for that.”

“Kasha,” he murmured, his heart swelling with love for her. “You are so brave and strong and I love you with every inch of my heart. Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world and I'll spend every waking hour showing you just how much I love you.”

“You're proposing.”

“It's not how I planned it. I was going to get a ring, get down on one knee, the whole nine yards, but I can't wait. I want you Kasha, now and forever. Will you be my wife?”

All the air left her body and she had to remind herself to breathe. “Oh, Axel.”

Worry creased his face. “How long are you going to keep me in suspense? I'm dying here.”

And then the Sphinx forgot she was mysterious. Forgot she didn't do passion. “Yes!” She flung her arms around his neck. “Yes, I'll marry you.”

They laughed and talked and hugged and kissed and made hot, passionate love all night long.

T
he church was packed. All seats taken.

Everyone Kasha and Axel cared about was there to honor their big day—friends, family, members of the Dallas Gunslingers, everyone from Emma's group home, people from the hospital and Kasha's yoga studio.

Jodi, looking fabulous with her figure back three months after giving birth to her baby son, Boone, served as a bridesmaid. As did Breeanne, effervescent with the news she and Rowdy would soon be welcoming twin girls from Guatemala. And so did Suki, who was thrilled when Kasha passed the hope chest on to her after the rehearsal dinner.

Maid of honor Emma waited in the wings with the rest of the party, clutching her bouquet, excitement fueling her eyes. They'd practiced her walk down the aisle two dozen times, making sure she had it down. She could handle it.

And just in case something happened, and Emma couldn't carry out her duties, Kasha had a contingency plan where Suki would shift to maid of honor, and Molly Banks would usher Emma outside. But Kasha didn't anticipate problems, and if there was a hiccup or two? Well, wouldn't that make the story of their wedding day all the juicier?

But Emma was a trouper. She not only came through with flying colors, but captured the admira
tion of the audience as she swept down the aisle, her head held high. The entire chapel filled with happy oohs and aahs, and applause and encouraging words of approval.

By the time Kasha started down the aisle on her father's arm, her heart was overflowing with blessings. She'd come so far! From the young girl who'd gone through so much as a child, to the rebellious teen who'd acted out to ease her pain, she managed to put the past behind her and passionately embrace the gift of true and lasting love.

On this her wedding day.

Her father gave her to Axel, and stepped back to take his place beside her mother. Kasha raised her head, met her beloved's eyes, and she forgot to breathe.

Axel stood before her, his hair shimmering darkly in the light of the candles flickering at the altar. He was gorgeous in a tuxedo, a specially made baseball-themed boutonniere in his lapel—white rosebud, stitched in red.

He stared at her as if she were the most incredible thing on the face of the earth. He made her feel priceless, treasured.

She fell into his eyes, got lost there.

It ends like this: an unexpected spark, instant attraction, the jolting jab of oh-so-you-feel-this-too? Flash fire in the belly, a corkscrew twist in the center of the chest, a physical ache that punches low and heavy and spreads out hard and fast through muscles and tendons, blood and bone.

Heady.

Erotic.

Exhilarating.

She known it that first day in sports facility; she knew it now.

This here? This was something more.

Stronger.

Bolder.

Scarier.

Coal black eyes melted her resistance, seared it to ash, and in that stopwatch moment her gaze struck, and stuck to that of her husband-to-be. One look, and everything and everyone blended and blurred as white-hot need transported them into their own little world.

Things had changed from that momentous beginning. One part of their life was coming to a close, but there was a whole new beginning opening up to them.

Married. Together. Husband and wife.

And as Axel took her hand, his gentle touch sending electrical pulses throughout her body, Kasha knew one thing for certain.

He stirred passion in her, but it wasn't the dangerous kind. Behind the desire was respect, tenderness, caring . . . love.

Real love. True love. Sure and certain love.

There was nothing tumultuous or crazy about his feelings for her. He was solid, dependable, steadfast. He was a man worth waiting for.

When the minister asked her if she took this man to be her lawfully wedded husband, there wasn't a scrap of doubt.

“I do,” she said, gazing into the eyes that meant the world to her. “I do, I do, I do.”

And then her beloved kissed her with all the passion he had inside him, and she wasn't scared. Not for a second.

“I love you,” he whispered. “Now and forever. No matter what may come. We're in this together, and we're going to have an amazing life beyond our wildest dreams.”

With this man, Kasha knew it was absolutely true.