Love on a Spring Morning (26 page)

She’d put his kids in harm’s way, all for a hopeless crush.

No, not hopeless
. Loving Ryan hadn’t been a mistake. She hoped that in time he appreciated their relationship, too. She’d been his rebound fling. At least that was something.

An awful something. God, she couldn’t stop crying. She didn’t want to be his rebound. She wanted to be his forever.

After Emmett left her alone, she grabbed her phone. She couldn’t leave it up to Olivia to tell Ryan about the next story that would come out.

I know you don’t want to talk to me. I just wanted to let you know that my publicist has arranged for what’s called a “re-direct”. Something big to distract the press. At some point in the near future, you’ll see a story about me and a famous actor dating. It won’t be true, btw.

She re-read it three times before hitting send, crying harder each time. It didn’t say nearly enough, but it was still the longest text message she’d ever sent.

His response was painfully short.
Thx for telling me.

And that was that. She typed a counter-response many times over the course of the day, and the next day—after sobbing her way through showers and mindlessly eating smoothies she couldn’t taste, after being reprimanded for her red eyes, before and after filming. By the time she crawled into bed the next night, exhausted even though it was barely dinner time, she was all out of potential words.

Because there’s nothing to say. Not really
.
 

She just needed to move on.

— —
 

It took until the end of the week for Emmett to convince her to take a call from her agent, and she only did so after she was reassured that it wasn’t about Ryan.

“Hi Walter, what’s up?”

“You, my darling!”

“Oh yeah?” She picked a piece of invisible lint off her knee. “Tell me more about that.”

“The studio is very happy with what they’ve seen so far.”

“Seriously?” That wasn’t the impression she’d been getting from James, but it was her first time working with him. Maybe
asshole
was just his strategy.

“On my mother’s grave. I know you guys still have some sound-stage shooting to do in Toronto, but provided that all goes well, they’re planning to push this out before Christmas.”

“Oh my God.” Holly didn’t need her agent to explain the importance of that. A pushed release to keep it in this calendar year…they wanted to do a run for the big awards. “That’s amazing.”

“There’s a condition, though. They want you to sign a deal for three more films.”

“What? Why?”

“Joshua’s…not a great bet right now. Parvati looks good in this film, but they’re concerned about her range. You’re going to be the star. If they throw the money at a bid for an Oscar, they want to be able to leverage that back into new projects.”

Leverage her. A week ago, she’d have told them to stuff it. She wasn’t anyone’s puppet.

But work…throwing herself into new projects sounded like exactly what she needed right now. “Tell me about the movies they want me to do.”

“You’d have some choice.”

“Some?”

“There’s one they already have in mind. The other two would probably be up to you, especially if this next one goes well. But you might not like it.”

She’d find a way to like it if it kept her distracted. “Send me the script.”

— —
 

“Dad, do you think the lake is warm enough to go swimming yet?” Gavin asked.

“Not yet, bud.” Ryan set the bowl of fresh strawberries on the table.

“Nummy berries, Daddy.” Maya grabbed the biggest one and smelled it before taking a bite. “Holly likes strawberries. Can we take some to her?”

“She’s busy with the end of the movie, baby.”

“I’m not a baby, I’m Maya.” She grabbed another strawberry and climbed off her chair. “I’m going to take this to Holly.”

“Maya, you can’t.” Ryan took a deep breath. He’d been avoiding this, but he needed to tell them. “You guys know that Holly lives in California, right? She was only here to make a movie. She’s going home soon.”

“She’s going away?” Maya frowned at him, and his chest pulled even tighter than it had been.

“She was always going away. She’s a big movie star, remember?”

“Can we have a party for her?”

“I think she’s too busy for a party.” He took a deep breath. “But you guys could write her a card? And Aunt Olivia could pass it on.”

“She’s staying in Grandpa’s house. Why can’t we just go see her?” Of course Jack would ask that question. It was logical and rational and Ryan didn’t have a good answer at all.

“I don’t want to see her if she’s going away.” Ryan jerked his head toward Gavin, shocked at the emotion in his middle child’s voice. The boy’s eyes were full of tears, and he shoved away from the table. “I’m not writing a stupid card.”

“Wait, Gav—” But it was too late, his son was already sprinting up the stairs, and Maya and Jack followed him, making comforting noises.

Fuck
.

— —
 

As the final week of filming drew to a close, talk starting buzzing about the wrap party in the centre of town—which Ryan had every intention of avoiding. Not just the party itself, but any talk of the party, and all posts about it on Facebook. He stopped going online completely, moving through his days like a zombie.

It didn’t mean he actually escaped anything. Everywhere Ryan turned, people had opinions, because no sooner had he blown up his relationship with Holly than the secret slipped out. Jake and Rafe told him he was an idiot and left it at that, but Dani was slower to forgive his secret-keeping. At least the fact that she wasn’t speaking to him meant there was one fewer voice telling him what he should do.

And as the cherry on top of the Nosy Parker parade, Faith just showed up at his house.

“This is probably an invasion of privacy,” he groused as he let her into the kitchen.

“I’m a big Hope Creswell fan,” she said instead of addressing his completely valid point. “So it’s a really creepy small world situation that you were dating her.”

“Do you want coffee?” He wasn’t going to talk about Holly with Faith or anyone else.

“Sure. So like I was saying—”

“Don’t. You can come over here and make sure I’m okay, but we’re not talking.”

“It wasn’t me, by the way. I wasn’t the person who shared the gossip about her being on a date with a local guy.”

“Didn’t think it was. If I did, I wouldn’t have let you in.”

“I don’t think you understand just how visible she is. Probably half that restaurant recognized her. And the way social media works these days…nothing stays a secret.”

“So I’m learning. And it’s a non-issue now.” Which was for the best, because if that was truly the case, he couldn’t be a part of Holly’s world. No matter what his heart or his dick felt, he couldn’t expose his children to that scrutiny.

“Which is why I’m here. Because the chat rooms are humming about how she’s broken-hearted.”

He closed his eyes, glad he was standing at the sink, filling the coffee pot, and Faith couldn’t see his face. He didn’t need to hear that.
You already know she’s broken-hearted, you ass. You did it to her
.

“So I thought maybe you might be kind of torn up yourself, and need some moral support or something.”

“What part of we’re not talking don’t you understand?”

Instead of being offended, she just laughed. He really needed to work on his growl. “Okay. I don’t know anything about anything, except that keeping stuff inside is deadly.”

He nodded absently. Anything to change the subject. “How’s your kid?”

“Ready for summer vacation. School’s been a challenge this year. Yours?”

Not enough of a subject change, apparently, because his children were broken-hearted, too. “Coffee’ll be done in a second.”

— —
 

Holly said and did all the right things at the wrap party, but seeing all of Ryan’s friends was hard. So too was realizing this would be the last time she’d see this small town she’d come to love almost as much as one of its most loved families.

After delaying all week—and hoping Ryan would come around, find her, beg forgiveness or at least let her yell at him and point out how moronic he was being—she gave Emmett the go-ahead to book her flight home.

Home
. Los Angeles would never feel like home again. Now she knew what a true home felt like—hamburgers for dinner, bedtime routines complete with songs and stories and tickle fights, and friends that kicked your ass if you didn’t go to support groups that had nothing to do with sex addiction and mommy issues.

She’d be back in Canada soon enough anyway. They only had a week break before they re-camped in Toronto for the last phase of principal shooting. She hadn’t decided what to do after that. Joining Liana in Nashville, and then for the last leg of her Asian tour, sounded like a really good idea. Planes, trains, and no more lumberjacks.
 

“Hope?” Emmett poked his head into her room. “Almost packed up?”

“Yep.”

“You’ve got a visitor.”

She
hated
the way her heart leapt at that. “Oh?”

“It’s Olivia Minelli.”

“Ah.” Okay. “Send her up.”

Holly carried her larger suitcase into the hallway and was just hefting the smaller one off the bed when Olivia came in. “Hi, Hope.”

“Olivia…” Holly took a deep breath. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes. Well, no. I mean, I’m not sure.” The other woman screwed up her face and groaned. “I’m not great at this.”

“How about you start by telling me what
this
is.” Holly leaned on the end of the bed and crossed her arms and watched as Olivia twisted her fingers together.

“I don’t want to meddle. Really. But I thought I should offer myself as a point of contact. For here, I mean. If you might visit in the future.”

Holly shook her head. “I don’t plan to come back.”

“I don’t know what happened. But Ryan’s been through so much. He’s probably prickly.”

That hardly touched the level of hurtfulness he’d exhibited. But she knew Olivia was right on at least some level. “Look, I care about Ryan. And that’s why I’m going. It's just not the right time. He's not ready for a relationship.”

“Please keep in touch. If anything...just keep in touch. I'm not sure if there's anything I could do, but we all care about him, and by extension, you. I mean, I care about you, too. On your own. Oh, jeez, I’m bungling this. But you were good for him. We all saw a change, and we didn’t know what the cause was. And now it’s like he’s right back—”

Holly held up her hand. She couldn’t be responsible for how Ryan was now. He was a big boy, and she wasn’t dead. If he wanted to make things right, he could reach out to her. “Between you, me, and the walls, I love Ryan Howard with all my heart. But he’s not ready. At all.”

“Tell him that,” Olivia said more urgently, her voice pleading now.

Holly winced. Time to bare her soul. “I did. That’s the problem. And now that’s enough of that. But I will keep in touch.” She smiled and pointed at Olivia’s growing belly. “I want to know all about that little one.”

Olivia took a deep breath. “Okay. I also have something to give you. From Maya.”

Holly hadn’t been prepared for that in the least. “Oh?” she asked, her voice thick and her eyes wet.

Olivia pulled a bright pink envelope from her purse. “Here.”

Holly waited until the other woman had left to open it. As soon as she did, she had to close her eyes and let the sobs just wrack her body for a few minutes before trying to read it. Ryan had obviously helped her write it, and that he would do that for his daughter but couldn’t do it for himself made her so angry and sad at the same time.

Dear Holly,

Thank you for the strawberry salad. Good luck with your running and movies. We will miss you so much.

Your fairy friend,

Maya
 

Below that, Gavin and Jack had written their names, and added,
Her Brothers.

“Emmett,” she called out. “I need paper and an envelope!”

— TWENTY-THREE —

S
HE’D really left.

He’d told her to, so he didn’t know why he was surprised.
Did you expect her to wear a hair shirt and beg you to take her back? What sort of backwards fucking world do you live in where you get to treat a movie star—or any woman—like shit and still keep her in your life?

He deserved the pain of walking through his in-laws’ empty home, waiting for movers to bring back their furniture. Restore the lake house to it’s pre-Holly look. Standing in the master bedroom, remembering how he’d made love to her and how she’d fallen asleep in his arms. How he’d held her and wished for exactly what she’d turned around and offered him a week later, and he’d lost his mind.

That bed was now gone, and the room was scrubbed clean of her memory, as if she’d never been there. Never marked him irrevocably.

A loud knock on the door downstairs broke him from his misery.

It wasn’t the movers, though. It was Jake.

“Hey, man.” Ryan scrawled a note.
Door’s open, bring stuff in.
He stuck it on the sliding door and tipped his head up the lane. “Let’s go back up to my place. I’m tired of waiting down here.”

“That’s where I parked.”

They fell into step together, and Jake launched right into why he’d stopped by. “I know you’re not looking for full-time work, but I’ve had a couple of things come up recently. Repeat clients asking for help with little tasks, and I end up losing one of my guys for half a day or more for what is basically a handyman visit. On the other hand, I want to protect those client relationships, so I don’t want to pass that full cost of that guy’s entire daily wage on…so I was wondering if you’d take those jobs—if your schedule allows.”

“Be a handyman?” He was a trained paramedic and soldier. He didn’t hate the idea, but he didn’t love it.

“Be a part of Foster Construction. Do this now, and more later, when you’re ready. Taking these calls would be a favour to me.”

“I do owe you and Dani an awful lot.” Ryan opened his front door and waved his friend inside.