Love Out of Order (Indigo Love Spectrum) (20 page)

“I really am sorry,” he said as he sat up and told me
to turn over. I did. When I asked him what for, he said,
“I owe you a massage.”

“I let you get away with way too much,” I sighed. His
hands felt really good on my back, kneading my sore
muscles, though.

He laughed. “Does that mean you’ll stay tonight?”

“You sure they won’t try to lynch me at dinner?”

“That’s not funny. And they know better than to try
anything. They know I’ll leave tonight if they don’t behave.”

“Then okay. But if we’re not outta here in the
morning, I’m outta here in the morning,” I said, closing
my eyes. I was on the edge of consciousness. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. And I hadn’t
really been able to sleep on the train. And John’s hands
on my back were so relaxing. I decided to close my eyes
for just a moment . . .

Dinner was extremely tense. The only good thing was
Thom, John’s brother, really was wonderful, as promised.

H
e had his mother’s auburn hair and his father’s green
eyes. And the sharp Archer jaw line.

“So, Thom, how’s Kelly?” Elizabeth nearly spat. John
rolled his eyes exaggeratedly. Kelly was Thom’s girlfriend, I had discovered.

“She’s great. Her mom made me some cookies. They
were awesome, but I already ate ’em all before I even got
back here,” Thom said, oblivious to his mother’s dig.

“She’s such a nice girl. She’s so perfect for you,
Thom,” Elizabeth said. Okay. Not even a rock could have
missed that one. There was silence around the table; not
even a fork scraping. John squeezed my knee.

I took a huge gulp of wine.

“More wine, Denise?” John Archer III asked dryly, giving me a disapproving look.

“Yes, please,” I said with a testy smile. Screw John Archer III. He signaled to Alex with a sour face.

“Oh, you know how they are with their drink, John.
Excuse her,” Elizabeth said.

“Mom, that’s ignorant,” Thom said, looking at his mom in disbelief.

“What? I meant—college students—drink a lot,”
Elizabeth looked a little flustered. But she still made sure
to give me a pointed, nasty look.

“Sure you did, Mom,” John said. “But you don’t have
to worry about looking at Denise anymore after tonight.
I know how much you hate to do that. We’re leaving in
the morning.”

I wanted to kiss him right then and there. But I didn’t
want to be responsible for any heart attacks or double
m
urder-suicides. Or felony murder if his parents died of shock because of my grand theft white boy. Although, I
wasn’t quite in the clear with that last one yet.

“John. We have New Year’s plans in Rochester with
the DuPrees. As we do every year. Bring her if you must,
but tell everyone she’s a friend. We never miss this.”

“Well, I’m sure you, Thom and Dad will have an
excellent time. But Denise and I are spending New Year’s
in Richmond,” John said firmly. He turned to his dad.
“I’ve tried everything I can think of and nothing’s worked.
I’m tired of fighting for your approval. I shouldn’t have to
work so hard for the love of my parents. If you can’t accept
me as I am, I guess you just can’t accept me. But I’m not
going to be with someone I don’t love just because it’s a sound business decision. And I’m not going to spend the
rest of my life trying to live up to some impossible stan
dard you keep trying to hold me up to.”

“What the hell are you talking about, John?” John
Archer III’s face turned a shade closer to purple than red.

“I’m done being unhappy for you on the slim chance
of a hope that you might treat me like a son one day and
not like a useless, dumb lump of clay you have to mold
into something respectable and worthy of your time. You
know why I got kicked out of three boarding schools?
Why I almost dropped out of Boston College? Because of
you. Then I tried doing it your way. For some reason, I
thought that might make things better.

“When I finally thought I could do something to
please you, go to law school, I still wasn’t good enough
because I couldn’t get into your precious Harvard. Even
with your help. Fine. Give it all to Thom. It’s not worth it to me anymore. Your approval isn’t something I’m
willing to sacrifice anything for anymore. Especially
being with the woman I love.”

Silence followed John’s shouting. John Archer III
looked at John for a long moment and John stared right
back. Elizabeth kept smoothing out the table cloth
around her plate. Her lips were stretched into a line so
thin they were barely visible.

“Come on, Elizabeth,” John Archer III said. He and
Elizabeth left the table.

Thom patted John on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about them, bro,” Thom said.

“I’m not. I meant it when I said I’m done with all
that,” John said. He smiled at me. I shrugged and smiled back. It wasn’t what I had envisioned for New Year’s. But
in a lot of ways, it was much better.

John and I left the next day. John’s parents gave Thom
the S-Class, but agreed to let John take the Kompressor
back. So he wasn’t completely out of the family. Only
Thom saw us off. He told John their parents would come
around. And he told me that he couldn’t wait to have me
for a sister-in-law and thanked me for taking Sasha out of
the picture.

I was never happier in my life to leave a house. I had
never met people like John’s parents. And it wouldn’t
have hurt my feelings if I never did again. I couldn’t help
but thinking how much I would love to give them some black grandbabies one day out of spite. Even if they never
so much as looked at the kids.

NEW YEAR’S

Once we were on our way back to Virginia, John
looked at me, grinning, and then turned back to face the
road several times.

“What?”

“I was just thinking of how happy you were this
morning as opposed to all day yesterday.”

“You were really different yesterday, too. You kind of
freaked me out a little bit.”

“Yeah, well, you almost got me disowned.”

“You lied. A lot. To everybody.”

“Okay, yeah, but you weren’t so truthful yourself.
Thanksgiving ring a bell? And don’t give me any of your
excuses about that,” John said, smiling, his eyes still on
the road.

I watched the white, snowy landscape ahead. “John?”
“Yes?”

“You never told me about any of that. The boarding
schools. Almost failing out of undergrad or anything.”

John drove in silence for a while, staring straight ahead
out of the windshield. I watched the windshield wipers
move back and forth, sweeping wisps of powdery snow
across the glass, while I waited for him to say something.

“I don’t like talking about it.”

“What happened?”

“Whatever I said yesterday, that’s all there is to it. I
wasn’t the best of students.” He shrugged. “We can’t all
be geniuses like you.” John laughed, but it sounded
forced.

I could tell I wouldn’t get any more than that out of
him, but I was curious about what had happened. A lot had gone on between him and his family, it seemed. I
wondered what could make him feel like his parents
didn’t love him.

I grabbed my throw blanket from the back and
reclined my seat, preparing for the long ride ahead of us.
I closed my eyes and thought happier thoughts, my lips curving up into a smile as my mind went back to John’s
massage the night before and how good his hands felt on
my back. I wondered how much better they would have
felt without my shirt between them and my skin.

* * *

We stayed overnight in Baltimore because we didn’t
feel like driving anymore. And we weren’t in any hurry to
get back. We decided on a hotel just off of Interstate 695.
I shuffled up to the counter behind John. I was cold and
more tired than hungry. My fingers were numb and
frozen inside my thin gloves. I hoped John wouldn’t say
anything about dinner, because I just wanted to sleep.

A woman with badly damaged, bleached blonde hair
stared up at us with her beady brown eyes.

“
Hi, can we get a room tonight?” John asked, pulling
his wallet from his back pocket.

The woman’s eyes moved from my face to John’s and
then back to mine again. “Just the one room? For the two
of you?” She had a faint New Jersey accent. I thought
that she couldn’t have been a native Marylander.

“Yeah. Just one,” John said, his voice hardening.

“None of my business, I guess,” the woman mur
mured, typing something into the keyboard on the desk
in front of her. “You’ll need two beds then?”

“No. We only need one,” John said.

Her lips puckered. She ran a hand through her brittle
hair and then scratched her forehead. I noted the spidery
blue veins and age spots on the back of her hand, keeping
my eyes away from her face. Her gold-plated name tag
had the name “Roxy” printed on it.

“So do you have a room for us or not?” John asked.
His nostrils flared and he clenched his wallet in his fist.

“I’m sorry. Looks like we’re all booked up.” She
twisted her lips, giving us a sour look.

“Really? Is that the same answer your supervisor
would give us?” John asked.

Roxy’s sour faced puckered up even tighter. “He’s not
here.”

“You have a phone number for him?”

Roxy glared at John for a moment. It looked like she
was deciding whether or not she wanted to push the
issue. Finally she made a sound in her throat that
reminded me of the growl of a dog that feels threatened.
Then, she looked at her computer screen. “Oh, well look
a
t that. I guess I missed a room. Y’all mind a smoking
room? No vacancies in the non-smoking rooms.”

“Is that okay with you?” John asked, rubbing my
shoulder and pulling me close. Out of the corner of my
eye, I saw Roxy give a little shake of her head.

“Sure,” I said. I just wanted to sleep. I could have
curled up on the couch in the lobby and been fine as long
as Roxy didn’t kill me with her scathing looks.

John turned back to Roxy and registered us.

We were walking away from the desk when I heard
her mutter, “Some people have no respect for themselves.
Mixing like that.”

John turned back and opened his mouth.

I grabbed his arm and shook my head. “It’s not worth it.”

He looked uncertain, but I tugged at his arm, pulling
him in the direction of the elevator. Still looking unsure,
he followed me. He set our bags on the floor of the ele
vator and pulled me close to him.

When we reached the room, I flopped down on the bed and closed my eyes.

“You hungry?” he asked. The bed sagged slightly
under his weight.

“No,” I said without opening my eyes.

He ran his hand over my back and kissed my cheek.
“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’m going to run out and get something. I’ll be
right back.” I heard him moving around the room and
then I heard a door open. “If you were hungry, what would you feel like eating?”

“Anything,” I said.

The door closed and I rolled over and pulled a pillow
over my head.