Love Potion #9 (38 page)

Lilith hadn't meant to read it, she certainly didn't intend to pry. But why did Mitch have a list of psychologists in his drawer? And why was this doctor specializing in emotional trauma circled?

Lilith sat down on the edge of the bed with a thump. Was Jen more scarred by Janice's departure than Mitch had already admitted?

What could she do to help?

 

* * *

 

Mitch was in a rip-roaring good mood. In fact, he couldn't remember feeling so incredible in the morning, or having such anticipation of the day ahead.

Hell, of the
life
ahead.

He popped his favorite cartoon tape into the VCR and set to work dicing fruit as Michigan Frog was discovered in a box outside a construction site. He didn't mind the kids watching cartoons but one morning with Jason in front of the television had convinced Mitch that you never knew what kids were going to see these days. Warner Brothers' work hadn't hurt Mitch any, so he'd gone out and bought a posse of tapes.

They were the only things the kids were allowed to watch on their own, although there were no complaints. Jen and Jason loved Bugs Bunny and all the other characters, even though they practically had the tapes memorized.

Jason ran to turn up the volume, then came back to perch on a stool and wash fruit.

“Wash it really well,” Mitch counseled.

“Can you say fat-soluble pesticides?” Jason parroted Mitch's usual advice, clearly without any understanding of what it meant. They said it again using Sylvester the cat's characteristic lisp and laughed together at their own silliness.

Mitch scooped up Jen and perched her on the counter, giving her a job, too. She picked the green grapes off their stems once they were clean and made more than a few of them disappear.

Cooley waited, eternally patient, for something to fall.

And when the frog started to sing, they all knew the words. Both kids kicked their feet in a rendition of the frog's dancing and they belted out the tune, two sopranos and a baritone.

Mitch tossed a grape into the air and caught it in his mouth. The kids immediately had to try this, too, and Cooley soon had more grapes than even he wanted.

In the midst of all this, Lilith cleared her throat from the doorway. Mitch spun and grinned at her, catching a grape with a flourish.

It was only then that Mitch noticed that Lilith wasn't smiling. She turned a piece of paper in her hands, a worried frown drawing her brows together. A question lurked in her eyes and Mitch looked again to the paper she held.

When Mitch recognized it, he had a very bad feeling.

Damage control time.

“Can you peel this orange?” Mitch said almost absently to Jason, then crossed the room with quick strides. “Let's talk in the other room,” he suggested, capturing Lilith's elbow in one smooth move and turning her away from the children.

Mitch knew he had to talk fast if he was going to save this situation.

Let alone his butt.

Too bad he didn't have a clue how to start.

“Mitch, why do you have this list of psychologists? And this trauma specialist?” Lilith's concern was obvious. “Is it Jen? Is she more upset than you told me?”

“No, not Jen.” Mitch swallowed, hating that words chose this moment to desert him.

“Who, then?” She clutched his arm. “Not Jason?”

“No, Lilith, no.” Mitch frowned. “Lilith, it's not for the kids.”

“Andrea?”

“No, Andrea's about the most well-adjusted person I've ever met.”

Lilith eyed him. “Has something happened to you?”

“No.” Mitch shoved a hand through his hair, knowing that at this rate, she was going to get to the truth before he could come up with a reasonable explanation.

Lilith drew back slightly and frowned. “I don't understand, then.”

There was no easy way to say this. Mitch took a deep breath and just plunged in. “Lilith, I researched the list for you.”

His words seemed to stun her. “Me? But why?”

“Well, yeah. You see, when you told me about the whole Gypsy thing and being an outcast and your true lover leaving you, I thought the story might be a way of dealing with a trauma in your life.”

Lilith straightened, her expression puzzled. “The trauma in my life was seeing you killed.” Her tone told Mitch that he was on shaky ground. He caught her shoulders in his hands, unable to quell a sense that she was poised to flee. He tried to explain himself.

Fast.

“But you do know, Lilith, that people don't live for six hundred years? It just isn't possible – in fact, you mentioned as much yourself.”

“I told you I was immortal…”

Mitch spoke gently. “Lilith, there aren't any immortals and we both know that.” He looked deeply into her eyes and saw disbelief dawn there in the same moment that she gasped. “Now, it doesn't matter…”

“It certainly does matter,” she interrupted and pulled out of his grip. “You think I liked to you!”

But Mitch was still trying to save the situation. His words came fast and low, his tone as gentle ass he could make it. “Not exactly a lie, Lilith. I think you're trying to protect yourself, that the mind does incredible things to deal with trauma, but…”

Lilith backed away, her eyes snapping angrily. “You don't believe me! You think I lied to you.”

“Well…” Mitch couldn't think of a good way to explain himself nearly fast enough.

“You think I made it all up!” Lilith spun and marched to the other side of the room, pivoting only at the window.

Then she stared at him, consideration bright in her eyes. “But wait – if you don't believe me, then how could you have remembered anything about being Sebastian? If you remembered, you'd know I was telling the truth.”

“I never said I remembered!”

Lilith strode across the room, determination in her every step. She waved a finger under Mitch's nose. “You said you didn't remember nearly enough. I remember that quite clearly.”

He had said that, although Mitch couldn't exactly remembered why it had seemed like a good idea at the time. He looked at his feet and frowned when no ready explanation came to his lips.

“You implied,” Lilith continued coldly, “that you remembered something and that you wanted to remember more.”

Mitch heaved a sigh. ‘Lilith, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I was concerned for Andrea.”

“So you deceived me.” Lilith's eyes flashed. “You pretended that you did remember something when you didn't. And you think the fact that you believed I was a criminal preying on other people makes that all right!”

“Lilith, I was just trying to help…”

But Lilith poked a finger hard into Mitch's chest. There was a dangerous glint in her eyes. “I don't need to be helped. I don't need to be
fixed
.” Her voice rose slightly and Mitch realized she was very, very angry.

So, maybe he hadn't handled this too well. If only she would give him more time to explain. “But Lilith, I wasn't going to give you the list. I don't care whether you ever sort all that out.”

She sniffed, clearly unimpressed. “How gracious of you to accept damaged goods.” She pointed her finger at him again. “But there's not a single thing wrong with me, Mitch Davison, except that I'm different from you. I'm starting to think that's an awfully good thing!”

“Lilith! Can we just talk about this?”

“There's nothing to talk about. If you really loved me, you'd accept me as I am. You wouldn't conclude that I was crazy. You'd believe what I told and you wouldn't mislead me.”

“But Lilith…”

“Mitch, this hasn't been easy.” Lilith drew in a sharp breath and straightened to her full height. “You've fought me and destiny every step of the way here. I understand that things haven't always been easy for you, and I've tried to be understanding, but I'm tired of doing all the work.' She fixed him with a look. “Do you remember being Sebastian or not?”

Mitch sighed, but held her gaze. “No.”

Lilith's lips tightened and she turned away.

“But I love you. I never lied about that.”

Lilith looked Mitch right in the eye. “That doesn't give you the right to hurt me,” she said softly. “And it doesn't give you the right to assume you know best.” Lilith licked her lips, then words fell quickly. “You've got to do some thinking. You've got to make some choices, and you've got to come to terms with the truth – even if it doesn't meet your expectations.”

And with that, she walked out of his house.

Mitch blinked. He couldn't believe she was just leaving.

He couldn't believe that no one had thrown dishes, or had a showy tantrum or made enormous demands. There had been no ultimatum.

Lilith just asked for his faith, told him what she wanted from him and walked away, leaving him time to think about it. She'd been angry, but she hadn't taken it too far.

He already agreed with her.

The situation was so completely different from how things had been with Janice that Mitch was momentarily stunned.

By the time he acknowledged how different Lilith was, she was gone.

But Mitch couldn't let this argument end here. He couldn't let Lilith walk out of his life. She was right – he would have called his kids on the carpet for even an almost-lie like the one he had made.

Mitch had to apologize. He had to fix this. He told the kids he'd be back in two and raced out the back door. Mitch leapt through the gate, catching a glimpse of Lilith's skirts from her front porch.

“Lilith! Wait!” Mitch raced down the path between the two houses, vaulted onto her porch, and tried the door.

It was already closed and locked.

Mitch rang the bell, but no one answered. It didn't take him long to realize that Lilith wasn't going to answer anytime soon.

Screwed up again, Davison,
Mitch congratulated himself. He shoved his hands into his pockets and glared at the door, not yet ready to take no for an answer.

He might not be a star at relationships, but he was damn well going to try to give this his best shot before he gave up trying. There had to be a way to work through all their various hurts and misconceptions and get back to the place where they had spent the night.

Mitch wasn't afraid to work for it.

 

* * *

 

15

The Devil

 

Lilith came home at lightning speed, ripped open her front door and slammed it shut behind her, still seething. She heard Mitch behind her but was too disappointed to face him now.

How could he have misled her?

And how dare he not believe their story? It was such a stunning breach of faith that Lilith wouldn't have believed it possible, if she hadn't heard the truth from Mitch's own lips.

He thought she was traumatized and making up stories! She wanted to fling her hands toward the sky and scream.
Men
! Lilith was so irked with Mitch that she wouldn't have been surprised to find smoke curling out of her ears.

What she did find was an unfamiliar man lounging in her living room, toying with her tarot cards.

Lilith froze in the hall and stared. She had locked the door, she knew it. How had he gotten in here? And why was he sitting so calmly in her living room? The intruder had dark hair and dark eyes and dressed with a flamboyance that made her Gift whisper in the back of her mind.

Before Lilith could summon a word, he looked up and grinned. “Lilith!” Her heart hammered that he knew her name. “Took you long enough, baby. How about a kiss for an old friend?”

And he flicked a card from his fingertips to land on the floor at her feet.

It was The Fool, from Lilith's old deck.

“Sebastian,” she whispered, barely daring to believe. Lilith sank into a chair, so shocked that she was certain her legs wouldn't continue to support her.

“The very same,” he confirmed and grinned, clearing enjoying her surprise. “Miss me?”

Lilith stared at him and fought against the truth. Her destined lover was the man sitting right in front of her.

Not the one banging on her door, demanding admission.

Uh oh.

 

* * *

 

16

The Falling Tower

 

Suddenly Mitch's confusion made a whole lot more sense to Lilith. Because Mitch wasn't her destiny, after all. Lilith exhaled weakly and tried to wrap her mind around the concept.

No wonder Mitch had been so stunned when she jumped on him. He hadn't understood the import of their entwined fates, because their fates
weren't
entwined.

Lilith's destiny was sitting right in front of her, grinning smugly. There was something about Sebastian's smile that made Lilith want to slap it right off his face, and she certainly didn't like being called ‘baby' by anyone.

Surely they had just gotten off on the wrong foot.

Lilith glanced from Sebastian to the door Mitch was knocking on and knew there was no point in delaying the inevitable. However disappointing the truth might be, Lilith knew she couldn't challenge destiny.

It simply wasn't done.

She had to tell Mitch the truth.

Lilith opened the door just as Mitch let loose an eloquent stream of cursing. He stopped as soon as he saw her, his eyes widened and he lifted his hands in a plea for truce.

“Lilith! Just give me five minutes to explain...”

“You don't have to explain,” Lilith said flatly. She ran a hand over her brow, feeling suddenly very tired. She couldn't help it - finding her destined lover wasn't as wonderful as anticipated, since it meant giving up Mitch. “There's nothing to explain. I was wrong about everything. I know it now. Good-bye, Mitch. I'm sorry that you got tangled up in all of this.”