Love Realized (35 page)

Logan didn’t respond, just stood there a moment, mumbled something toward Jason and then left. Jake didn’t blame the guy; he wouldn’t want to be here if the tables were reversed. Jake shrugged his shoulders at Jason and went looking for Gillian. Finding her with Sean and Morgan, he pulled up a seat next to her and watched as she held one of her nieces and talked with another. Sure, he felt bad for Logan, but he was right where he belonged, and he wasn’t going to feel bad about that.

Jake had just handed his credit card to the salesman when his brother Jason said, “Are you sure man? This is a big step.”

Annoyed, Jake turned, “Dude, what the hell? Of course I’m sure. Why would I be buying the ring if I wasn’t sure?”

His brother chuckled and slapped him on the shoulder, “I know man; I just thought that was what guys were supposed to do when their friend was buying an engagement ring. I figured that was why you brought me.” Jake just shook his head at his brother as the salesman brought back his card and little blue bag.
This was that famous blue bag he had heard people talk about?
Didn’t look like much to him, but if it was supposed to make the ring more special, he was all for it.

As the two men made their way out of the store, he couldn’t help but notice how good he felt. It was a great day when a man picked out a ring to give to a woman—to pledge his love forever. He knew he sounded like a total sap, but he would gladly forfeit his ‘man card’ if it meant he could be feel like this. Jake and his brother had made plans to grab some beer and hot wings at Hooleys tonight since the ladies were all busy at some kind of chick party that involved candles. And the fact that Gillian plans that were considered no-boys-allowed was the only reason he wasn’t with her tonight. Well, not with her right now—he would be going to her place later, after all the women left.

It had been almost six weeks since they had first slept together, and since then, he spent every night he could at her place. Since Gillian wasn’t comfortable flaunting the sexual side of their relationship in front of the kids, the two teens especially, they kept it on the down low. He understood that, but really wanted to remedy the problem. Even though he wasn’t above sneaking in and out the back door of her bedroom, he didn’t want their relationship cheapened by being secretive. Jake thought Gillian was being a little too protective of Madison, when he thought the girl needed a dose of reality. The attitude that Gillian got from her was extreme at times, and she didn’t want to rock the boat by flaunting a relationship with Jake in front of her. He was relieved that Gillian didn’t allow her to get away with the attitude, and made sure to put the kid in her place, but he knew she wanted to avoid whatever confrontation she could. So he went along with the sneaking around at night, at least for now. His son had no problems with this, simply because he was spending a lot more time with Dylan, and he was allowed to sleep over on school nights now.

The two men made it over to Hooleys in no time and were just sitting down at a table when his brother asked, “So … when are you going to ask her?” Jake wasn’t sure about that yet. He wanted to make sure it was perfect.

“Not sure yet. I haven’t decided how or when—I just know that I have to.”

They placed their order, and Jason turned to him. “I'm happy for you. I'm glad you finally got the girl.”

“You make it sound like I’ve been stalking her for the last eighteen years or something.” He paused to take a sip of the beer that was just placed in front him, then continued, “I was a good person and put away those extra feelings I had for her a long time ago. They hadn’t even resurfaced until that night when Gillian left him.” He shook his head as he remembered that night.

“I'm not trying to make it sound creepy or anything. It’s just … I’m glad that you got her. Gillian has been like a little sister to me for a long time now. And I really like the fact that she could really be my little sister now.” Jake smiled at his brother’s comment. He was pretty much only thinking about the immediate people the relationship involved, which was the kids, and of course themselves. So for Jason to be remarking on the new connection between him and Gillian—it touched him. Then Jason said, “I just hope she says yes to you, man.”

All the affection he had toward his brother for acknowledging him and Gillian as a good thing disappeared when he said that last part. He smacked his brother on the arm, and then he felt a little anxiety seep into his belly.
What if she didn’t say yes?
She had to. He had never been an insecure man, but apparently there was one thing that he was insecure about, and that was Gillian. His concerns must have shown on his face because his brother tried to reassure him. “Jake, come on, you have to know I’m only joking. Of course she’s going to say yes.”

Jake gave his brother a sheepish grin and said, “I sure hope so. Not really sure where to go from here if she said no.”

“You’ve got time. There’s no rush, and you don’t even know when and how you’re going to do it. But you’ve got the ring, and you’ll be ready when the time is right. And if she wasn’t ready, it wouldn’t feel right for you, man, so don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks, man,” Jake replied as he took a drink. His brother brought up some good points, but the anxiety about it most likely wouldn’t disappear until he knew she was his.

“How are things working out with Logan around? Being next door has to be a little weird for you two?”

“Hell, being with Gillian is surreal and all I seem to be able to focus on. I really don’t pay attention to Logan. I could care less where he is, but Gillian thinks it’s a good thing for the kids. It helps a little because Madison and her moods can go over there and not torture Gillian all the time. Jonathan is still angry with Logan, so he avoids him most of the time. At least Logan isn’t just walking in the house unannounced when I’m there anymore. I would seriously have a problem with that.”

“He’s been tough to handle at work lately. Thinking I'm gonna have to kick his ass soon. I almost feel sorry for the guy,” Jason finished off his statement with a huff and a half smile before reiterating, “Almost.”

Jake lifted his glass in a toast to that comment. He felt bad talking this way about a long time friend, but things were different now, and they needed to figure out how to be friends again someday. Jason turned the conversation toward football, and the bartender jumped in with his opinions on the playoff season ahead of them. They were just a couple of guys, hanging out, drinking beer, and talking football … and Jake was counting down the time ‘til he got to see her again. Oh yeah, he was definitely a goner.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

Gillian pulled into the parking spot and put the car into park before glancing over at Allie in the passenger seat. She wasn’t in the mood to go to the mall, but Allie insisted she go with her. It had been over a month since Allie had moved back down to San Diego, and she was finally starting to get everything at her new place in order. Gillian usually couldn’t contain her excitement over the fact that her best friend was moving on in grieving over her late husband, and that she was allowing herself to grow roots back with her family.

But today, Gillian couldn’t get excited about anything—she just didn’t feel well. She was tired, her stomach felt funny, and she had had a headache since yesterday. Not to mention they were having a get together over at Morgan’s house tonight, so she was already reserving her fake smile for then. Allie convinced her to come to the mall with her to help her pick out some curtains, and her methods were definitely underhanded. She said that she needed another person’s opinion; otherwise it would be a big, fat reminder that she lived alone. It was a low blow for Allie to pull out a comment like that, and if Gillian had felt a little more like herself, she would’ve called her out for it. But since she wasn’t, she pushed on and went to the mall with Allie before they headed over to Morgan’s. Her plan was to agree with whatever Allie picked out so they could get the hell out of there. She just hoped that whatever Allie picked out first wasn’t something horrible, or else her plan would backfire.

“What’s wrong with you anyway?” Allie asked as they walked into the mall.

“I have no idea. I must be coming down with something, which is the last thing I need with Thanksgiving this week. It’s my year to cook for everyone.” Gillian sighed as she made a mental checklist of all that she needed to pick up to make that happen. Feeding a small army usually wasn’t something she minded doing, so hopefully she would feel better soon.

“Oh, come on, it’s not like you won’t have help doing it. You’ll be fine.”

“I hope so.”

The two of them made their way into the department store and started their browsing in the home section. As they made their way past a section that permeated a strong floral scent, Gillian barely managed to control the urge to vomit as nausea hit her—swift and strong. She had to get out of there; the smell was getting to her. With her hand over her mouth and nose, she grabbed Allie by the arm to get her attention. Allie looked back at her. “Hey, what’s wrong with you?”

All Gillian could do was shake her head and get the hell out of there. She didn’t head for the mall exit; she went for the outer door that would get her out into some fresh air. Since it was mid November, the normally sunny California sky was overcast, and there was a crisp coldness to the air. Once she made it out the doors, she found a spot to sit down, and she took in a deep breath of clean air to chase away the smell that nauseated her. She had just gotten her stomach to calm down when Allie joined her.

“Jeez, Gillian, you turned a few shades of green back there. Are you pregnant or something?”

Gillian quickly snapped her head up to look at Allie as her words rang through her head.
Are you pregnant or something? Oh, God. Could she be?
Just cataloging her symptoms had them returning, and she couldn’t stop it from happening this time. Gillian quickly turned and disposed of her lunch in the planter she was sitting on. Once done, she turned to Allie again, put her hand to her mouth and said, “Shit, Allie, I can’t be pregnant. I’ve had my tubes tied!”

Allie laughed as she sat beside her friend, then she scrunched up her nose in distaste. “On second thought, let’s move somewhere else.” Cautiously, she got up, and the two of them walked to a bench and sat down. “Okay, that’s better. Now, when you had those tubes of yours tied, did it come with a hundred percent money back guarantee?”

Gillian just scowled. “Didn’t think so. So why is it impossible to think that
maybe
you could be pregnant? Except, I would like to go on the record by saying that you are
so
pregnant. I remember what you looked like when you were pregnant with Madison, and I just saw the replay.”

“Oh my God … Allie I can’t be pregnant,” she whispered and dropped her head in her hands. “I can’t be pregnant.”

Gillian felt Allie hug her from the side and say, “And why exactly would this be a bad thing?”

“Because …”

“Because, why? You love Jake, Jake loves you, couples in love make babies—it’s the normal process, Gillian.”

Shaking her head, Gillian lifted her gaze up and gave Allie a pleading look. “Allie, forgetting the fact that I might be pregnant with Jake’s baby after being with him for less than two months, let’s focus on the part where I just got divorced from the first guy who knocked me up. The same guy who asked me to marry him repeatedly, but I wouldn’t because I was afraid that people would think that was the only reason he asked!” Gillian’s hysteria begin to set in as she felt her breathing accelerate while she continued to think about the situation.

“What will Jake think about this Allie? Apparently, I'm the kind of girl who has to go and get pregnant to lock a guy in for a decade or two. I can’t seem to get a guy to commit to me without having a physical tie to him! Oh fuck, what am I going to do, Allie?”

“Well, I can tell you that the first thing you’re going to do is snap the fuck out of this little panic attack you got going on. Jeez, woman, if I had a glass of water on me, I’d be throwing it in your face.” Gillian laughed as a visual of that scenario played out in her head—Allie would definitely do that. “Good, there’s a small smile. The second thing we’re going to do is get you a test to confirm it, although I would bet some serious money on it.”

“Not helping, Al,” Gillian said in a voice meant to convey her annoyance.

“Oh, right, okay. The third thing you are going to do is tell that awesome man, who loves you desperately, that you are going to have his baby. This isn’t a bad thing, Gilly … it’s great news.” Allie said it with such sincerity and enthusiasm Gillian almost got sucked in. A baby was a great thing; she had no problem with having another baby. Leaning her head on her best friend’s shoulder, she tried battling the fear that if she and Jake ever got married, would it have only been because of the baby? Unfortunately, that was something she’d never have an answer to now.

“You still want to go to Morgan’s tonight? I can say I'm in a mood and need you to take care of me.”

Gillian appreciated Allie’s offer so she smiled as she shook her head. “We can’t back out on Morgan. She needs girl time since she is so busy with the baby.”

“Okay, only if you can handle it, though.” Gillian nodded, and they got up. They walked to the car, without getting curtains. “Hey Al, I'm sorry we didn’t get your curtains. Are you going to use that against me later?”