Love Redesigned (3 page)

‘Please step away, Daniel,’ Holly asked again, feeling rattled at the reminder. They
were
still married. Technically. However much Holly thought of and referred to him as her
ex
-husband, the piece of paper tying them to each other still existed. Unfortunately.

‘Now why would I want to step away from something that is so exquisite and belongs to me?’ Daniel teased.

‘Dammit, Daniel,’ Holly exclaimed, losing all patience and finally turning round. She planted her hands on his chest and pushed him away. Well, she
would
have pushed him away if he’d actually moved—but the massive brute didn’t budge an inch. Holly felt weak and inconsequential next to him. She was no match against a man of his size and she knew it. This man could do anything he wanted to her and she would be utterly powerless to stop him.

As if to prove the point, rather than being pushed back, Daniel actually stepped forward, pinning her tightly between the kitchen sink and his body. His arms remained by his sides, but she could feel the firmness of his chest against her hands, not to mention a certain increasing hardness against her stomach. And she didn’t even have to feel what was going on in his groin to know he was turned on: one look at his dilated blue eyes and the soft purse of his sensual mouth told her he had one thing, and one thing alone, on his mind. And it wasn’t his latest business success. It wasn’t even Harry.

‘Oh, Jesus,’ Holly breathed as she felt his pheromones do their worst and envelop her senses. He clouded her judgement with his heady chemical mix and physical presence. It didn’t help that he was looking at her like she was dripping in chocolate. Holly found herself trapped between a rock and a—hard place. She knew what the right thing to do was, but however much she knew this, she couldn’t bring herself to act like the sensible adult she was supposed to be. It had been a long time since she’d felt so desired, a very long time, and it was intoxicating.

‘You want me?’ Daniel half-asked, half-declared. Holly knew she shouldn’t do it, but she was unable to stop herself from giving him the barest of nods. The next thing she knew his mouth had crashed down on hers and his hands were everywhere at once, desperately trying to find a way through her clothing to her bare skin. He pulled back for a half second and simultaneously peeled off her still wet sweater and simple white vest, leaving her in her newest lace push-up bra. Holly gave herself a silent pat on the back for recently purging her underwear drawer of all faded and jaded items, leaving only the most decent stuff behind.

‘Fuck,’ he exhaled as he looked down to see the soft fullness of her breasts overflowing from the top of her bra. He began groping and kissing her all down her neck and chest, exploring her as though for the first time. Holly forced her mind to stop functioning as it normally did and simply allowed her body to take over. As it turned out, her body seemed to be ravenous, and she did her own fair share of groping and kissing.

‘Bedroom?’ Daniel said, suddenly growing impatient after several more heady minutes of hurried foreplay. It took Holly a couple of seconds to register what it was he’d actually said.

‘This way,’ she breathed, pushing him off her and sliding out from where she’d been pinned. Holly strode off down the hallway and up the stairs, not bothering to look back to check that he was following her. Once in her bedroom she quickly removed her jeans. Her critical eye spied the mildly messy appearance of her room, and she hesitated, considering if she should have a quick tidy round. But her hesitation was summarily halted as she felt herself scooped up in the air and tossed on the bed. Holly lay sprawled, looking up at Daniel who stood there bare-chested. She felt her insides turn to mush. There was no doubt in Holly’s mind about the direction in which they were headed.

It was Daniel who now seemed to hesitate, and Holly suddenly felt his uncertainty wash through the room. She thought he was going to bolt. She actually thought the sexual predator and lover of sex she’d always known him to be was going to see her imperfections and walk away. Holly subconsciously bit her bottom lip and consciously slid her legs a few inches wider. The suggestion in her movement seemed to have the desired effect, and Daniel quickly overcame his momentary lapse and resumed normal service as he approached the bed.

It wasn’t sensual and gentle lovemaking. It was hungry, all consuming, noisy, time-is-precious, need-it-now
sex
. And yet there was something familiar about it. They clicked, falling effortlessly into an easy rhythm, their knowledge of each other’s bodies resurfacing as they automatically seemed to pick up on old muscle memories of what felt good and what felt better.

When they were both sated, they lay together in Holly’s comfy bed, a tangle of nakedness and limbs, looking at each other.

‘I’ve missed you,’ Daniel said, the first to break the post-coital silence. Holly could have sworn that he was being genuine. For once Daniel’s tone and words seemed sincere, rather than couched in his usual confident bravado. She didn’t respond, just smiled shyly as she admired the man next to her. Her husband. God, he was gorgeous, she told herself. There was definitely no question as to Harry’s parentage. He and Daniel had the exact same shade of blue eyes and thick dark hair.

‘You haven’t changed a bit,’ Daniel continued, being unusually vocal. ‘You’re still the same fiery redhead who’ll never give in’. Holly did her best to hide the surprise she felt at his words: this was not how she thought of herself at all. In fact, she would have described herself as completely the opposite. Especially when it came to Daniel. Throughout the entire time they were together, she’d thought she was always the one who’d given in and compromised. And as for being fiery? She’d always regarded the ‘fiery redhead’ as something of a false stereotype, and herself as a living counterexample.

‘You don’t have to say anything, but judging by the sex, I can tell you missed me too. I would have come and found you sooner if I’d known just how much,’ Daniel quipped, reverting to his arrogant self. Holly was in no doubt that he believed every word of it. And, just maybe, he was the teeny tiniest smallest smidgen of an iota right.

‘Nah, it was okay, I suppose,’ Holly responded as nonchalantly as she could. If she was honest, she’d loved every minute of it—not that Daniel needed to know that little nugget of information. ‘I’ve had better though. Maybe you should try again,’ she added suggestively.

‘Oh really,’ Daniel growled, needing no further encouragement. And he kissed her to signify the beginning of Round Two.

It was lunchtime by the time Holly managed to get in to the office. After Daniel had left, promising he’d be in touch soon, she’d been in somewhat of a dreamy daze, and it had taken her forever to get her head out of her orgasmic clouds and pull herself together into some semblance of order and coherence. Holly felt good, and for the first time in a long while, she felt she had a spring in her step.

‘Oh my God!’ Chloe, her best friend and assistant, practically shouted across the design office as Holly came through the door.

‘What?’ Holly asked, unable to rid her expression of its rapidly permeating guilt.

‘You had sex!’ Chloe exclaimed, loudly enough for the entire office to hear. The office numbered only seven, but this wasn’t something Holly particularly wanted her subordinates to know about.

‘A word, Chloe? In private, if you please,’ Holly said firmly, widening her eyes and ushering her friend into the kitchen pantry and hopefully away from prying ears.

‘So, details…’ Chloe demanded, as she set about making coffee.

‘Oh, Chloe, you’re going to think I’m mad. How can you tell, anyway?’

‘Oh please, Holly. It’s written all over your face—not to mention the dazed and confused look in your eyes. Plus, you
never
cancel client meetings. I figured you would have told me if it was a life-or-death emergency, so I logically concluded it must be the only other possibility. You got yourself some action. And might I say, it’s about bloody time. I know you’ve gotten close a few times, but I don’t think you’ve actually been—well, you know, all the way—since that bloody husband of yours. That one, he damaged you, and I can’t tell you how pleased I am that you’ve broken your duck,’ Chloe concluded, suddenly aware that she’d been talking for a long time and that Holly was suspiciously quiet.

‘Holly?’ Chloe probed, eyeing her friend closely. Holly remained mute and stared into her coffee mug.

‘Holly Percival!’ Chloe chided. ‘Did you have sex with that good-for-nothing ex-husband of yours?’

‘Maybe,’ Holly squeaked, struggling to meet Chloe’s eye. Now was not the time to tell her friend that she wasn’t actually divorced. Officially.

‘You shouldn’t have slept with him, Holly,’ Chloe scolded.

‘I couldn’t deny myself, Chloe,’ Holly said, forcing herself to look at her friend. ‘Seriously, it’s been so long—and he was interested in me.
Me
. I know I’m bad, but I just couldn’t help myself. This morning, for the first time in ages I felt like someone more than just Harry’s mum.’

‘Oh, Holly,’ Chloe sighed. ‘Well, I suppose what’s done is done; and in my book, any sex is better than no sex. So, what did you talk about?’ Chloe asked, blowing on her coffee.

‘Well, we didn’t exactly do much talking, if you catch my drift,’ Holly said, feeling her cheeks colour instantly at the omission.

‘Holly!’ Chloe exclaimed in frustration. ‘You haven’t heard a peep from him in years. No word from him concerning his son, yet two minutes in his company and you let him sweep you off your feet to the bedroom? Seriously, Holly. You’ve got Harry to think about. Not just your own physical need to get some action,’ Chloe reprimanded.

‘I never stop thinking about Harry,’ Holly said quietly, feeling stung by her friend’s words, and she began to sulk. She had thought Chloe would share in her euphoria. But, still, Chloe
was
probably right.
Probably
. And however much Holly didn’t want to listen to the common sense spouting from Chloe’s mouth, she knew deep down that it was for her own good.

‘I suppose you’re right,’ Holly eventually conceded as she drank some of her own coffee. ‘I guess I got a little carried away,’ she added, looking wistfully off into the middle distance, her mind obviously still occupied by the morning’s events.

‘I’m guessing by the dopey look on your face, it was good,’ Chloe asked, lightening the tone and giving her friend a knowing grin.

‘Oh, Chloe, it was amazing. I mean, it was always good before, but this time, it was different somehow. We weren’t kids pretending to have an adult relationship. It was like he was less selfish and more mature.’ She sighed. ‘But then again, it’s not like I have a huge amount to compare it to of late, so perhaps it was just a one-off spectacular that I’ve overblown in my head.’

‘Take that lovestruck look off your face, Missy,’ Chloe commanded. ‘When you come down off this temporary orgasmic high you’ll still see that nothing monumental has actually changed. Just promise me you’ll be careful with him. You deserve and need an explanation for his silence after all these years.’

‘I know,’ Holly responded, trying to take heed of her friends’ wise words. She knew she should listen to Chloe, yet at the same time, a little voice inside her was screaming at Chloe for being such a killjoy. Maybe, just maybe, this was her happy ever after, and she didn’t want to blow it for Harry—or herself. Holly allowed herself to hope that maybe they were destined for a brighter future. Maybe it was their chance to finally be a real family.

Four days later, with not a word from Daniel, Holly was starting to think the worst. She was realising that she’d read far too much into their moment of passion and that she’d naively projected her own dream scenario onto the entire situation. Could a leopard like Daniel ever really change its spots? The facts were simple: Daniel had found her, fucked her, and fucked off.

The thought
had
crossed her mind that perhaps he hadn’t been that impressed with her bedroom performance. It’s not like she’d learned any new tricks since their last encounter. This possibility grated on Holly’s nerves, and she vowed that next time she saw Daniel, if she ever saw him again, she would make it her number one priority to get a full explanation from him as to his complete lack of interest in his son’s life to date. In the meantime, Holly kept herself busy with work and Harry, and tried her hardest not to dwell too much on her recent mistake. For that was how she regarded her slip in sleeping with Daniel: a big fat mistake.

Of course, it didn’t help matters that Harry was continually asking when he would see his dad again. Despite the short amount of time they’d spent together, Daniel had certainly made a lasting impression on the little boy. And when Harry asked his mother to call his daddy, Holly realised that she really had no way of contacting Daniel to ask him what the hell he was playing at. She didn’t have an up-to-date phone number or an email address. They hadn’t exchanged any of the basic necessities in this day and age when he’d called round so out of the blue. After their physical reunion, he’d received a phone call and disappeared just as quickly as he’d appeared, leaving Holly in a girlish flutter. Jotting down his email address had been the last thing on her mind. She supposed there was always social media, as a very last resort, but she was loath to seek him out on Facebook or send a solicitous tweet to a man with whom she had a child. She wasn’t
that
desperate for contact. Yet.

But still, she had to do something. Daniel had to realise he couldn’t just waltz into Harry’s existence for five minutes and then do a disappearing act on him. Holly had protected Harry his entire life from this kind of rejection, and she wasn’t about to stop now. She was contemplating what she should do next when it suddenly dawned on her that Chloe was calling her name.

‘Holly,’ Chloe called again as she swept through the open door to Holly’s office.

‘Yes,’ Holly answered quickly, studying her day planner in an attempt to try and act like a professional, and certainly not like someone who’d just been daydreaming about bedroom escapades with a certain tall dark handsome ex.