Love Reflection (Entwined Hearts #1)
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Authors: Maria Macdonald
Maria Macdonald
Love Reflection
An Entwined Hearts Novel Book One
Maria Macdonald
Copyright 2015 Maria Macdonald
All Rights Reserved
This book is a work of fiction. Any references to real events, real people, and real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and incidents are products of the Author’s imagination and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, organisations or places is entirely coincidental.
All rights are reserved. This book is intended for the purchaser of this e-book ONLY. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the express written permission of the Author. All songs, song titles and lyrics contained in this book are the property of the respective songwriters and copyright holders.
Editing by
Swish Design & Editing
Formatting by
Swish Design & Editing
Cover design by
Francessca’s Romance Reviews
Cover image Copyright 2015
To my husband, who supports me in everything I do, and to my daughters, remember anything is possible.
Love you all forever.
The following is a glossary of terms which have been used throughout this book. These euphemisms and slang words form part of the UK spoken word, which is the basis of this book’s writing style.
Please remember that the words are not misspelled, they are slang terms and are part of the everyday, English lifestyle. This book has been written using UK English and spelling.
If you would like further explanation, or to discuss the translation or meaning of a particular word, please do not hesitate to contact the author – contact details have been provided, for your convenience, at the end of this book.
I hope you enjoy a look into the English way of life.
Bellend
– A contemptible person, an idiot.
Blagging –
To manage to obtain (something) by using persuasion or guile.
Blimey
– An exclamation of surprise.
Book no arguments
– Judging by the person’s voice, he won’t tolerate any arguments.
Brooks no argument
–
Will not tolerate an argument.
Fruit loop
– A bit nutty.
Hump –
To get annoyed, the arse, be pissed off.
Nag
–
A chat – catch up.
Paramedic
- EMT.
Pep –
A bit of pizazz or bounce.
Perks up
– Happy.
Snark
– Snide remark.
Wind my neck in –
To get on with it, get over yourself or sort yourself out.
No matter how many times I look at the box, it doesn’t change anything. It’s still there. Still full. Still taunting me with memories, and I can’t bring myself to move it… even an inch. I don’t even like to touch it. If I brush against it when walking past, it sends shivers up and down my back. I chastise myself.
All this because of a box, Pearson?
But no matter how much I try to deny it, I know it’s not the box, lonely and unloved on my landing, it’s Saul. It’s all about him, about everything. He’s just the last person in a long line.
I pick up the nearest thing, which happens to be my late grandmother’s family quilt. I throw it over the box, hoping to build a barrier against the memories contained in the box, keeping them in the box and away from me. Memories are one thing I can do without right now. I jump as I hear the doorbell. Taking a moment to gather my thoughts I realise the doorbell had rung while I was napping. Wiping the sleep from my eyes, I hustle down the stairs knowing who’s on the other side of that door.
“Hey Con, you’re a bit premature,” I say looking at my watch then I gesture for him to come in.
“Yeah, I know. I got off work early and thought I’d check in on my best girl.” He winks and takes his jacket off throwing it over the back of the sofa as he practically catapults himself on the chair and sticks his feet up on the coffee table.
Con has dark brown hair, almost chocolate in colour and he wears it always cut short. I often wonder what it’d look like if he let it grow a little, just long enough to curl at the ends.
“Erm, comfy much?” I joke while settling into my armchair tucking my feet under me.
“Well, I’m waiting for the coffee you promise every time I come over but hardly ever actually make me!” He hangs his tongue out like he’s parched.
“You’ll probably be waiting a while,” I smirk.
Con stares at me. I hate it when he does this. It’s like he sees right through me, all my secrets, my regrets, my emptiness.
I’ve known Conner Ralph… yes, Ralph McKenna practically my whole life, from the first Brownies club I was forced to attend. Con had also been made to join. He hates me talking about it, but it’s my most favourite cock-blocking story. Not that I cock-block him that often, just when the girls are really skanky. His mum, Debbie, was an awesome woman and completely bat-shit crazy. When Con said he wanted to join the Cub Scouts, Debbie looked into it. Of course, the Cub Scout meeting was on Bingo night and that woman had not missed a bingo night in, well, forever. So Con ended up at Brownies with a scowl on his face. Luckily when Debbie came to collect him, Brown Owl told her that Brownies was for girls only. I’ve teased him about it mercilessly over the years. He says his only saving grace was that back in the day, boys weren’t allowed to join Brownies, these days he’d be fucked!
“What Con?” I question with a sigh seeing he’s still staring at me.
“Nothing,” he replies with his brows furrowed.
“Yeah, well, let’s leave it at that shall we?” I huff and get up, moving to the kitchen to make the coffee.
“You know you can talk to me. It’s time you let go and lifted the weight,” he’s speaking to me like I’m a spooked animal. I can’t blame him, the subject matter makes me act like one. In fact, he is one of the few that can actually broach the subject without me locking myself in the nearest hidey hole.
“Maybe the weight is exactly where it should be, you ever thought about that, Con?” I’m getting edgy now, a few more minutes and I’ll either be crying or shouting.
Con notices and backs off, but not before throwing out a comment, “No. I never thought that’s where the weight should be. I’ve thought about it a lot, and yes the weight belongs somewhere, that place though is
not
on your shoulders. It never was Pea and it never will be. The sooner you let it go, the easier it will be… on all of us,” the last part he whisper’s, probably hoping I won’t hear.
He’s right, of course. I know what I should do, and I know how hard I’ve made it on other people over the last few months, especially him. I don’t want it to be this way. Hell, when things first started unravelling I tried to push everyone away so they didn’t have to deal with me. I would love to say that they all pushed back that I couldn’t get rid of them, but the truth, of course, is that over time I was left with only four people in the world. Well, now only two. The rest had moved on, moved forward. Some ran like the wind, others tried for a time, but I’m sure trying to be friends with a recluse in a downward spiral wasn’t easy, especially when they all just wanted to live their lives and have fun.
I was only twenty when I started to feel my life going downhill fast. I had the world ahead of me. I wasn’t always like this. As I start to ponder my life, memories filter in, bringing me back to a moment when I was sixteen-years-old, just over ten years ago now, but feels more like a lifetime...
The bell rung, signalling the last class of the day was done, and it was time for over one thousand kids to make their way out of school and to go home. I grabbed my bag and walked outside, heading over to the bus stop to wait for the others.
“Hey! So glad it’s Friday!” Soph said plopping herself down next to me. “The boys here yet?” she questioned as her eyes searched around for them.
“Nah. You know they take forever getting here, stopping to chat to every person along the way. Stacey Peters has probably grabbed Con while Ellie Hitchens is draped all over Saul,” I said rolling my eyes.
Soph frowned. I knew she liked both boys and could probably have her choice of either if she actually made her mind up. The problem with Soph was that she couldn’t ever decide, and she was never short of offers from boys. With her long blonde hair, blue eyes and boobs it wasn’t surprising, but she felt like Saul and Con were our boys. Nobody else was entitled to touch, kiss or date them. It was silly for so many reasons. I mean, of course, they were going to get that kind of attention, they were never going to be single. Apart from being very popular, in a way that other boys aspired to be like them and were desperate to be their friends, they also had every girl trying to hang off their arm.
Girls often gave Soph and me catty looks, obviously wondering why on earth the guys spent time with us. Sometimes, even I wondered why they still spent their time with us. Soph, Saul, Con and I had been friends since primary school. We lived near each other and it had been like this for forever. I knew that without the guys or Soph, I would probably be invisible. It wasn’t that I thought I was ugly or a horrid person. I knew I was okay but average.
I had every average trait going. Brown hair – mid back length, normal build – not skinny, not fat, brown eyes, regular nose, mouth, ears, feet, and personality. That’s right, even the personality was average. Not super intelligent, but not bottom of the class, not socially awkward, but not little miss popular. Just average!
“Whoo hoo! Friday!” I heard Saul shout before I saw him.
As I turned around, I noticed my assumption of why they were held up wasn’t far off. Ellie was draped over Con, and Stacey was trying to grab Saul. They had obviously decided to change things up since the guys hadn’t really responded to them in the way they wanted, when they’d tried it the other way round. Like Soph, they couldn’t decide between the two and seemed to be happy with either. Around them were four other guys and a few girls I’d seen around school, but didn’t really know.
“It’s about time!” Soph moaned. “We were starting to think about leaving without you,” she complained.
I blinked twice, knowing she was lying. Saul frowned, looked between us then curved the corner of his mouth up.
“You weren’t going anywhere without us. You need me and Con to make sure you don’t do anything bad.” His statement was so cocky.
With his tall stature, broad shoulders, black hair curling around his ears, his beautifully tan skin like he lived in a tanning salon, and his piercing blue eyes, he was entitled to be cocky and he knew it. Even with Soph.
“What bad things could we possibly get up to?” Soph questioned with a glint in her eyes. I could see where this was going already. She was preparing to wind him up and watch him go, and as always it was going to backfire.
“Well, I’m not sure I could trust you to get on the bus by yourselves, let alone do something dangerous like cross the road. Remember the time you nearly got run over?” he chuckled.
Oh no, he went there!
“Saul, I was ten. I was on a zebra crossing and it was a push bike. I was hardly playing chicken with a lorry!” Soph huffed out. “Besides, I’m thinking more about the fact that without you two tagging along I might find a new boyfriend.” Soph winked at Saul.
A dark look had crossed his face before his smile reappeared and he answered, “You have loads of guys hitting on you, Soph, you never go out with any of them. I think you’re too chicken. I don’t think it’s us cramping your style.”
I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears, she then looked at me and smiled. Looking back at Saul, she said, “Yeah, well, without you two, maybe Pea could get some action since you both always get in the way.”
Saul shut up and surprisingly Con answered. Seeing as he had been a foot back and had seemed preoccupied with Ellie. “Pea is fine as she is. Don’t go putting ideas in her head.” Con stood looking at Soph, almost staring her down while he worked his jaw.
“Erm… excuse me. Don’t you all talk about me like I’m not actually here. I have an opinion, and although I’m the quieter one out of the four of us, that doesn’t mean you can decide things for me. What the hell, Con? What’s wrong with me that I shouldn’t be getting involved with anyone?” I was panting and the more I’d said, the more I was annoyed that they seemed to think of me as a little kid.
“Where should we start?” I heard Ellie say and Stacey snorted at her.
Con brushed her off his arm. “Go home, Ellie,” he growled.
“What the fuck, Con?” she whined.
“I said go home!” he repeated not taking his eyes from me.
“Yeah, we have to deal with our girls,” Saul said and motioned for the girls to go home.
“Fuck you, and your weird setup with these two freaks,” Stacey bit out.
“Funny,” Soph shouted, “from where I’m standing you’ve been dismissed. I guess the freaks win, huh?”
The two skanks stormed off and still Con and I were staring at each other with angry faces.
“Come on, let’s go,” I heard Saul say.
Slowly I let my shoulders relax and Con’s face grew soft. “Sorry Pea. I just don’t want some arsehole taking advantage of you. It’s not because you’re not worth it, it’s because you’re worth everything.” And with that he turned around and stalked off.
As I start coming out of my memories, I realise we never did talk about that time. Within a couple of months, Con and I had become an item, almost inseparable, and the other girls were always jealous. We were strong for four years, but things change and people move on. That was a lifetime ago now. We haven’t been a couple for years. We’ve always remained close though. All four of us at one point, now just the three of us.
The click of the kettle lets me know that the water has boiled which pulls me from my dream like state. I glance over to see Con staring out of the window with almost the same look on his face that I assume, I had only seconds before.
“Penny for them?” I ask, hoping the tension from before has dissipated. Con looks around at me and slumps his shoulder, a bitter smile crosses his face before he visibly reins it in.
“Pea, don’t worry about the coffee, I’m off. I need to go home and shower the day away so I can make myself look pretty for tonight.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.
“Oh yeah, I forgot, you have a date. Which bimbo is it this time?” I try to keep the hardness out of my voice. Con and I would never get back together, not after everything that has happened. That was my choice, six years ago and again when he asked me two years later. There was a time more recently that I thought it might happen, but it didn’t and I guess I’m seeing where Soph was coming from all those years ago, feeling like Con belongs to us. It’s hard.
In the last six years, Con hasn’t really had a steady girlfriend, just a lot of dates. But I know there will come a time when he’ll find someone and want to settle down. We’re both the dark side of twenty-five, it’s not like we need to draw our pension next week, but equally most people our age are at least in serious relationships by this point.