Love, Rosie (281 page)

SingleSam:

Wildflower:

Buttercup:

Divorced_1:

LonelyLady:

Wahoo!
Here
comes
the
bride,
all
dressed
in
.
.
.

Black.

How
charming.

She’s
right
to
wear
black.

What’s
wrong
with
misery
guts
today?

She
found
a
letter
from
Alex
that
was
written
12
years
ago

proclaiming
his
love
for
her
and
she
doesn’t
know
what
to

do.

Divorced_1:

Here’s
a
word
of
advice.
Get
over
it
,
he’s
married.
Now

let’s
focus
the
attention
on
me
for
a
change.

SoOverHim
has
entered
the
room

FatherMichael:

OK
let’s
begin.
We
are
gathered
here
online
today
to
wit-

ness
the
marriage
of
SingleSam
(soon
to
be
“Sam”)
and

Divorced_1
(soon
to
be
“Married_1”).

SoOverHim:

WHAT??
WHAT
THE
HELL
IS
GOING
ON
HERE?

THIS
IS
A
MARRIAGE
CEREMONY
IN
A
DIVORCED

PEOPLE
CHAT
ROOM??

Wildflower:

Divorced_1:

SoOverHim:

Uh-oh,
looks
like
we
got
ourselves
a
gate
crasher
here.

Excuse
me
can
we
see
your
wedding
invite
please?

Ha
ha.

YOU
THINK
THIS
IS
FUNNY?
YOU
PEOPLE
MAKE

ME
SICK,
COMING
IN
HERE
AND
TRYING
TO

UPSET
OTHERS
WHO
ARE
GENUINELY
TROUBLED.

Buttercup:

LonelyLady:

SoOverHim:

Buttercup:

Oh
we
are
genuinely
troubled
alright.
And
could
you
please

STOP
SHOUTING.

You
see
SoOverHim,
this
is
where
SingleSam
and

Divorced_1
met
for
the
first
time.

OH
I
HAVE
SEEN
IT
ALL
NOW!

Sshh!

love,
rosie

413

Sorry.
Mind
if
I
stick
around?

Sure
grab
a
pew;
just
don’t
trip
over
my
train.

Ha
ha.

OK
we
should
get
on
with
this;
I
don’t
want
to
be
late
for

my
2
o’clock.
First
I
have
to
ask,
is
there
anyone
in
here

who
thinks
there
is
any
reason
why
these
two
should
not

be
married?

SoOverHim:

Divorced_1:

Wildflower:

FatherMichael:

LonelyLady:

SureOne:

Buttercup:

SoOverHim:

FatherMichael:

Divorced_1:

FatherMichael:

SingleSam:

FatherMichael:

Divorced_1:

FatherMichael:

Yes.

I
could
give
more
than
one
reason.

Hell
yes.

DON’T
DO
IT!

Well
I’m
afraid
this
has
put
me
in
a
very
tricky
predicament.

Father
we
are
in
a
divorced
chat
room,
of
course
they
all

object
to
marriage.
Can
we
get
on
with
it?

Certainly.
Do
you
Sam
take
Penelope
to
be
your
lawful

wedded
wife?

I
do.

Do
you
Penelope
take
Sam
to
be
your
lawful
wedded
hus-

band?

I
do
(yeah,
yeah
my
name
is
Penelope).

You
have
already
e-mailed
your
vows
to
me
so
by
the

online
power
vested
in
me,
I
now
pronounce
you
husband

and
wife.
You
may
kiss
the
bride.
Now
if
the
witnesses