Love Song Series Box Set (12 page)

Chapter 14

Jase

I
’m birthday shopping for my Sweet Pea. Her party is tomorrow. I was happy as hell when Pop told me Julie said I could come, but I would have been there anyway. I haven’t talked to Julie in days, and I’m still mad as hell at her, but I miss her every bit as much as I’m angry with her. I know we’ve got to figure out a way to work this shit out, for Jenny’s sake and for the new baby. I refuse to be in constant battle with my children’s mother.

I
walk up and down the aisles, but I don’t know what to get her. I have no idea what to buy a nine-year-old little girl, but I’m determined to pick out the best present ever. I make my way through the toy section, looking at every doll they have. I pick up one with pink hair to take a closer look.

“
Don’t get her a doll. She’ll just stick it in her room and forget about it. She only plays with Lulu.” I look over to see Kristen is standing right beside me with a bright smile on her face.

“
You’re probably right,” I agree and stick the doll back on the shelf. “Any ideas?” I ask.

“
Yeah, follow me.” She leads me to the craft section, and we head straight to the glittery shit. “Just load your basket up. You can’t go wrong. Jenny is just like Julie. She can spend hours working on this stuff.” She shakes her head. “You should see my apartment. It’s full of all this crap. I like it, but it’s definitely not my style. When she makes me something, I just can’t throw it away, though.”

I smile and think of all the stuff hanging around my place.
“Me neither. I’m probably the only guy in the world who has a hot pink unicorn hanging on his living room wall,” I say with a laugh.

Kristen reaches out and touches my arm.
“Thank you for being such a good dad to her. Jenny really needs it. Julie did her best to shield her from everything that was going on with Dean, but it still bothered Jenny.”

“
Did he hurt Jenny too?” I ask the question that’s been on my mind since the day I heard about Julie being in the hospital.

“
Hell no! If that bastard had ever laid a hand on Jenny, he’d be dead now,” Kristen says in a near shout. “Julie only stayed to protect her family and yours. She was afraid that if she told anyone what was going on, one of you would end up in jail. She would’ve never let him hurt Jenny though. She’d have killed him herself.”

I let out a
relieved breath. “Julie’s right. I would be in prison now if I had known. I swear I want to go kill him now, but I know it won’t do any good. I’d just lose Jenny and the new baby.”

“
New baby? What new baby? What in the fuck are you talking about?” Kristen is screaming now. “Julie’s pregnant? When the hell did this happen?”

Oh fuck! I just assumed Julie had told her by now.
“Shit, Kristen. I thought you knew.”

“
You couldn’t leave her alone, could you? You just had to fuck her life up again, didn’t you?”

What the
hell? “I don’t think of Julie having another baby as a fuck up.”

“
I’m sure you don’t. You weren’t around to watch her fall apart. You weren’t there to see her struggle just to buy damn diapers,” Kristen says with a sneer.

“
I wasn’t given a chance to be, was I? But I will be there for everything this time, so don’t you fucking worry about it!” I shout back and walk away.

Julie

“Pull it up a little more on the right,” Bethany orders and takes a drink of her beer.

I shake my head at her and try to raise the princess birthday banner a little more.
“You just said to bring it down.”

“
You brought it down too much, but it looks good now,” she says with a smile.

I look around our house and smile back
at her. “It looks like the Disney store exploded in here.”

“
It’s cute, and Jenny will love it. I know I do.”

I nod my head in agreement and grab the next bag of decorations.
“You know you can’t be drunk when all the little girls get here.”

Bethany nods
, flopping her head up and down. I just laugh at her and walk to the kitchen. I’m just about to sprinkle sparkle confetti on the table when I hear the front door open. I look up as Kristen walks into the kitchen.

“
When were you going to tell me?” she asks, sounding more like a bitch than my friend.

“
What are you talking about?” I ask, even though I have a pretty good idea what she’s asking.

“
About you having a baby!” she screams. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

I take a moment to consider my options and decide to return her bitchy attitude.
“Definitely not about getting pregnant.”

“
Pregnant? Who’s pregnant?” Aunt Angie says as she walks through the door.

Kristen crosses her arms over her chest and nods her head at me.

“Julie Anne Walker! How did this happen?” Angie says with a gasp.

“
The usual way?” Bethany says then burps. She instantly covers her mouth and starts to giggle.

We all look at her and notice the nearly empty bottle of beer in her hand. Bethany has never held her alcohol wel
l, and beer is the worst. It makes her mouthy and very giggly.

“
You gave her beer? You know how she gets.” Kristen rolls her eyes, shaking her head. I look at Kristen like she’s crazy.

“
No way. She got it herself. She’s says she’s trying to loosen up a little.”

Angie looks at Kristen and shakes her head.
“Who cares about little Miss Bethany being drunk? I want to talk about Julie being pregnant,” she finishes, staring straight at me.

“
It was an accident. I was taking birth control, but I missed a few pills when I was in the hospital. The doctor said it can take up to two cycles for the pills to be effective after missing some,” I say and add a shrug, trying to play it off like it’s no big deal. In reality, it’s huge. Really fucking huge!

Kristen snorts.
“What? Your panties accidentally fell off? Then you accidentally landed on Jase’s dick?”

“
Watch your mouth,” Angie says as she reaches over and smacks Kristen in the back of the head. “Thank our sweet Lord that Jase is the dad.”

“
What?” Kristen and I ask at the same time. I didn’t even think about that. Could Dean be the father? He did rape me the night he put me in the hospital. He always did after a beating. He said it wasn’t rape though; he was my husband, and my body was his.

I can fee
l the bile rise to the back of my throat, just thinking of all the times he forced himself onto my abused body. No, my brain screams. That’s not possible, but it is. There’s a chance the baby is Dean’s. If it is, he will be a permanent feature in our lives. How could I have not considered this before?

“
Pinch poke, you owe each other a coke,” Bethany says with another giggle, breaking me away from my thoughts.

“
Would you shut your drunk ass up?” Kristen says and runs to the other side of the room before Angie can hit her again.

Angie blows out a frustrated breath.
“Look at the way Jase treats Jenny. Even though we all doubted him, he
is
an amazing father. I’m glad this new baby will have him as his or her daddy.”

Everyone is quiet for a moment. Bethany
then says the first intelligent thing that has come out of her mouth since she started drinking. “I’m just ecstatic that it isn’t Dean’s.”

When the words come out of her mouth, I don
’t say a word. I look down and slump in the chair, putting my head into my hands. “Shit, shit, shit…”

Aunt Angie walks to me and crouches down in front of me.
Taking my hand in hers, she asks the question I know everyone is thinking. “The baby isn’t Dean’s is it?”

“
I don’t think so, but there is a possibility,” I say quietly.

Kristen comes over to me and wraps me in her arms.
“Have you had an ultrasound yet, to determine your dates?”

“
No, I have my first one Monday.”

“
Then there’s no point in worrying about it just yet. We’ll worry when the time comes,” she says and hugs me a little tighter.

The conversation dies down, but I continue to think about Aunt Angie and Bethany
’s words. They’re right; I can only pray the baby is Jase’s. I know what I need to do.
I haven’t talked to Jase since he showed up at the office over a month ago. I didn’t mean for him to find out like that.
It’s time I talk to Jase. It’s time to apologize.

I finally shake out of my stupor and finish decorating.
I’m barely done when Uncle Mack shows up with Jenny. Bethany was right; Jenny loves all the decorations.

“
Oh, wow!” she squeals as she jumps up and down while looking around the house. She completely ignores her presents and runs right for the princess crown centerpiece. She picks it up and sticks it on her head. “This is so cool.”

I don
’t have the heart to tell her it’s just a decoration, so I smile and nod. “You look like a princess.”

J
enny keeps looking around, and I notice she looks a little sad. I know she’s watching for Jase. I hope he shows up. I know he’s mad at me, but he needs to be here for Jenny. Our problems can be dealt with later. I wait another few minutes and grab my phone. I’m about to call him when the door opens. Jase walks in carrying two extra full gift bags.

“
Daddy!” Jenny screams and runs right to him. She wraps herself around his legs, and Jase sets the bags down to pick her up.

“
You’re late. Where were you?” she asks.

“
I’m sorry, Sweet Pea. I had a flat tire. I tried to call, but no one answered.” I look down at my phone, and there are three missed calls from Jase. I forgot I had turned the ringer off after Dean’s last call. He didn’t say anything again, but I still know it was him.

The party moves
to the backyard. Pop rented Jenny one of those big bouncy castles. She and all her friends are having a great time, bouncing away. Everyone seems to be having fun, so I decide to try to talk to Jase. I walk over to him and tap him on the arm. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

He looks toward Jenny then back at me. He nods his head
, and I lead him to my bedroom. As soon as we walk through the door, he crosses his arms and looks at me. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I look
at the floor, too nervous to look in his eyes. “I had only known for about a week. I hadn’t told anyone but Bethany. I only told her because I needed someone to buy the pregnancy test.” I take a deep breath and continue. “I was still trying to wrap my head around it. I was scared, but I was going to tell you. I just wasn’t ready.”

“
Are you sure you weren’t planning on running again? Maybe you’re thinking about keeping this one to yourself too?”

His words feel like a slap. I look up at him. He
’s smiling at me in a way that says he knows he’s being an ass. “No! It never even crossed my mind.”

He walks over to the window and looks out at Jenny and her friends playing.
“Every time I think about the years I’ve missed with her, I want to hate you.” He’s silent for a moment, then turns to look at me. “Why the fuck can’t I hate you?”

I shake my head sadly.
“I don’t know. Why can’t I hate you?”

We stand there silently for a moment, looking at each other.
“I love you, Julie, but this shit has to stop. We have to figure out how to get past it. Jenny deserves to have parents that aren’t at each other’s throats all the time. I want to be with you, but you need to decide what you want.”

I can
’t look at him anymore, so I look down, but I do nod in agreement.

He walks past me, but stops when he reaches the door.
“I’ll work on my shit. You do the same. Let me know when you want to talk again.”

“
Wait,” I whisper. “I need to tell you something.”

He turns around and crosses his arms again. He lifts his chin for me to go on, but I
’m not sure how to tell him. I finally take a deep breath and just say it. “Dean raped me right before he put me in the hospital. There’s a slim chance this baby could be his. I doubt it because I took birth control the entire time we were together, but I can’t be sure because I haven’t had a period since before he beat me the last time. I’m having an ultrasound Monday, and I’ll know for sure then.”

Jase doesn
’t even give me a chance to finish before he races past me to the bathroom. I can hear him throwing up, and I start to cry. I crawl into the bed and pull my legs up to my stomach. Shame slithers over my skin, leaving a trail of pain behind.

I
’m still lying here when Jase comes back into the room. He sits on the bed and lays his hand on my hip. “This is my baby. I don’t give a fuck who fathered it. I am going to be its daddy.” He leans down and places a soft kiss on my forehead then gets up and leaves the room.