Love Song Series Box Set (5 page)

Chapter 3

Julie

It
’s been nine years since I left home, but everything still looks the same. The houses are still lined in tiny little rows, the storefronts still have that small town feel, and the town square clock is still firmly stuck at 7:13, twenty-four hours a day. Seeing everything just as it was leaves a bittersweet feeling in the pit of my stomach. While my life was thrown into chaotic change, life here stayed the same. Having my past and present come together like this feels like a hazy dream.

It
’s nice being around my family again, but I feel like a stranger at times. They’re all treating me like I’m made from fine china; no sudden movement, no loud voices… let’s go easy on the abused woman. I’m freaking sick of it. I just want them to treat me like me, Julie, their friend, niece, cousin; not some person on the verge of shattering.

My family is bad, but everyone else in town is even worse.
They stare at me like I’m some sort of circus freak. When I stopped at the Piggly Wiggly yesterday, not one person said hi, not even the ones that I know remember me. They just stared at me like I didn’t belong here. Who knows, maybe they’re right.

Pop is throwing me a welcome-home party today. He
’s cooking out at his shop. I wonder if he realizes how hard it is for me to be here. I know he chose the shop because of Jenny. There’s a big field behind the garage with tons of space for her to play. He’s even put up a swing set and a few picnic tables back there, but none of that makes facing this place any easier.

I look around the picnic tables and see Matty staring at Kristen, while she talks with one of the guys that work at the shop.
His eyes are focused on them, absorbing their every move. I bump my arm into Bethany and lift my chin toward him. “What do you think that’s all about?”

She follows my gaze, until her eyes land on Matty.
“I think he’s jealous. It’s obvious that he has a thing for Kris.”

I let out a quiet laugh.
“Yeah, but when did that happen?”

She shrugs.
“You’ve been gone for a long time. I’m sure a lot has happened that you don’t know about.”

Not wanting to think about all that I
’ve missed, I shoot her a quick smile and start making the rounds. I do my best to say hi to everyone, and I mean everyone. I swear, every single person I have ever met is here. That’s not exactly true; my brother Brandon and my cousin Will are both in Afghanistan.

Those two have been stuck together like glue since the day we moved into Uncle Mack and Aunt Angie
’s house. They had always talked about joining the Army, so I wasn’t surprised when they signed up as soon as they graduated. It’s scary as hell to know they’re halfway around the world, in the middle of all that fighting, but I am proud of what they do.

Well, Jase isn
’t here either, but I didn’t expect him to be. Why would he be? It isn’t like he’s dying to see me again after all these years. If what everyone says is true, he is probably out getting drunk with a whore or two.

I am just stepping up beside Pop when I hear Aunt Angie holler across the tables that we
’re out of cups. Pop turns toward the garage, but I grab his arm. “I can grab them for you. I need a little break from the crowd. If running after cups is the only chance I can get, I’ll take it.”

A smile spreads across his face before he leans down and places a kiss on my forehead.
“They’re in my office, the cabinet beside the fridge.”

I quickly make my way into the garage and to his office. As soon as I step inside, I see the desk
, and it all comes flashing back. I can see them on it, together in a way they should have never been. I can’t seem to stop staring at it. The memory of Jase and Becca having sex plays on some sort of loop in my head, and my heart breaks all over again.

I hate that fucking desk. I have the urge to tear it apart, but I will have to settle for giving it a good kick. With that thought, I walk
over to it and draw back my foot. Just as I start to swing it forward, I hear a voice behind me.

“
What’d that desk ever do to you?”

Oh my God, I would know that voice anywhere. It
’s deeper than it was nine years ago, more gravelly, but it’s still the voice that I fell in love with when I was only fifteen years old.

I
’m shaking with nerves. I take a moment to calm myself before I turn around. When I do, I’m shocked at what I see. The man before me isn’t the boy that I left. Jase is still the most handsome man I have ever laid eyes on. He’s bigger now, more muscular, and his arms are covered with tattoos. His hair is longer, almost reaching his shoulders in that messy but sexy look. It’s his eyes that make me gasp, though.

They don
’t have their normal shine. They’re dark and filled with anger, filled with years of pain. I wasn’t sure if the anger was for him, or me, but I figured it was a bit of both.

I knew this was coming, but I had hoped it would be later. I still haven
’t figured out what to say to Jase. In fact, I wasn’t sure I wanted to say anything at all, but I knew we had to talk about Jenny eventually. How do you tell someone that their family didn’t think they deserved to know about their own child?

“
So, you’re back.”

I just nod, trying to prepare for what
’s coming next.

“
You want to talk about my daughter now? The one you kept from me for the last nine fucking years,” he finishes with a sneer.

Okay, I can do this. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Well, I did run out without talking to him.
I didn’t tell him where I was going, and I kept his daughter from him. Oh yeah, lots of shame.

“
I was going to tell you, but everyone said that you were not...” I trail off, struggling for the right words. There’s just nothing I can say to make this better, no way to cushion this blow. Yeah, he cheated on me, but I kept his baby from him.

Jase moves closer to me and puts his face inches from mine.

“Not what? Not better than that fuckwad you had raising my kid? Not better than a man that uses his fists on a woman? Not good enough to know my own daughter?”

He
’s shouting now, and all my protective instincts kick in. Years of protecting myself have me backing away. I can’t hold in my gasp of fear as I place my arm in front of my face and wait silently for the blow. When my ass hits the desk, I realize what I’ve done. I’ve shown Jase exactly what my life has been like with Dean. I slowly lower my arm and look at him. “I’m sorry, so sorry.”

He
’s still as a statue, and his eyes are now filled with an entirely different kind of pain.

“
Julie, I’d never hurt you. At least, not like that,” he says in a gentle voice.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to calm the rush of panic coursing through me
, thinking of some way to explain my reaction. When I open my eyes, Jase is right in front of me. He places his hands on my cheeks and starts to whisper. “I would never lay a hand on you in anger. Never! How could I when I love you so much?”

I feel a tear run down my cheek as I look into his eyes.
“I know you wouldn’t. It was just a reaction. It wasn’t you.”

“
I would never hurt you, baby,” he vows before leaning even closer.

Then his lips are on mine, and he is kissing me softly. At first, I try to pull away, but he holds me in place and continues to kiss me. His kisses bring everything back
; all those nights that we spent wrapped up in each other and all the love we shared. They remind me of what I’ve been missing for the last nine years.

It doesn
’t feel the same; it feels even better. I can feel my core start to dampen, and my whole body is tingling. I am so angry at the way my body is reacting to Jase that I want to hurt him, cause him as much pain as I’ve been feeling all these years. I grab his hair and violently pull him closer to me. I back away from the kiss and bite his lips. I don’t let go until I taste blood.

He jerks away from my hold, licking the drop of blood from his lip. A devilish smile tilts his lips for just a moment before he threads
his fingers through the back of my hair, pulling it tight as he crashes his lips back to mine in a kiss that incinerates the thinly veiled control we were holding onto. My aggression fueled his own, and now we are both lost.

My hands tug at his shirt, desperate to feel his skin. He releases his hold on me long enough to reach behind him and pull his shirt up and off, giving me exactly what I wanted. My hands graze across his chest and up his shoulders, and my nails score his skin as our lips clash once again. He’s drinking from me like a dying man in a desert. His hand cups the back of my neck, tilting me how he wants me, while his other hand plucks my nipple through the thin cotton of my dress. The contact is maddening. I need more.

Reaching between us
, I make quick work of unbuttoning his jeans, but before I can work the zipper down, he bats my hands away and lifts me in his arms, setting me down on the desk. He kisses his way down my neck, nipping my sensitive flesh with his teeth. His mouth is a perfect distraction, and I can’t even protest when he rips my panties from my body and sinks two fingers deep into my aching pussy. He works his fingers ruthlessly against my sensitive walls, his thumb pushing against my clit – it’s madness. I can feel my orgasm bearing down on me. I claw at his arm, pulling his hand away from my pussy.

“
No, not like that. I want your cock. Fuck me,” I pant out.

He makes quick work of his pants, pushing them down just far enough to release his cock. Not waiting a second
, he sinks into me, dragging a moan from deep in my chest.

“
Fuck, Julie. This is where I belong,” he groans as he slowly pulls out, leaving only the head of his cock resting within my walls. The man is set on driving me mad, trying to turn this fuck into love, and I’m not having it.

“
Faster,” I command.

“
No. I’ve waited too long for this moment. I’m savoring you, Julie.”

My heart clenches at his declaration
, and I can feel myself softening to him as he makes love to my body. No. Just no. I dig my nails into his back and bite down on his ear. “Fuck me, Jase. Give me what I need.”

“
No!” he says. “I’ve been dreaming of this moment for nine years. I’m going to take my time.”

He continues his slow pace, and it
’s killing me. I need him hard and fast. “Fuck me, Jase. Please fuck me, baby,” I beg.

My words must touch a nerve because soon
, he is thrusting into me at a brutal pace. His hips slam into me so hard the desk scrapes across the floor under me. His cock feels delicious; I’m lost to sensation, reaching for the orgasm that I know is waiting to explode.

“
That what you want, baby? You want me to fuck you?”

Unable to find words
, I moan out my pleasure and claw at his arms as he lifts my legs, tilting my hips so each thrust pushes him deeper so his cockhead rubs across my g-spot. Then he slips his hand between our bodies and circles my clit, rubbing my wetness around that sensitive nub until I’m thrashing with pleasure. He pinches my clit between his fingers, detonating my orgasm, and my pussy spasms around his cock. He thrusts into me, burying himself to the hilt, before finding his release deep within me.

“
That’s it, baby. Milk my cock.” His voice is rough with pleasure as he continues to slowly thrust, dragging our orgasms out.

Finally, he stills his hips
with his cock still deep inside me. He moves his lips to mine and kisses me with reverence. It’s the same way he used to kiss me after he made sweet love to me. I lose myself to the kiss for a moment, then a thought flashes through my head, and I wonder if he kissed Becca this way. Everything comes rushing back; my anger, his betrayal, Jase fucking Becca right here on this very desk.

Oh God, what did I do?

I push him away from me and jump off the desk, looking for my panties. Finding them torn on the floor, I bend down to pick them up, unable to stop the hysterical laugh that bubbles up. I look back at Jase, still standing there with his jeans around his knees and a confused look on his face. My laughter turns crazed as the reality of what I just did sinks in. I just fucked the man that broke me on the same desk he fucked my best friend on.

Ja
se looks at me like I’ve gone crazy; maybe I have gone off the rails. That’s the only thing that can explain my actions.

“
What’s so funny?” he asks, his voice still husky from his orgasm.

Fuck him for standing there looking so smug.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” I grit out, angrier with myself than at Jase.

He lifts a brow, waiting for me to explain. I turn away from his questioning gaze, grab the cups
, and head toward the door.

“
Wait,” Jase calls. “What the fuck, Julie?”

I look over my shoulder at him
as I anxiously straighten my skirt. “Well, Jase, the last time I saw you in this room, you were fucking a slut on that desk, and now here I am, the slut getting fucked by you on the very same desk.”