Read Love Thy Neighbor Online

Authors: Janna Dellwood

Love Thy Neighbor (8 page)

BOOK: Love Thy Neighbor
10.21Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads


Wait.
Quit. Stop. I can't... do this. It's not. Right. I gotta go!”

She squirmed out from under him, stood up. He fell over on his side
on the couch, befuddled. “What? Janna, I thought that's what
you wanted! You were... we were... I don't understand!”

She burst into tears. The way she looked as she cried melted a piece
of Baron's heart. Broke another part of it.


I
gotta go!” She backed away, staring at him as if she needed his
permission to leave. “I know what you'll do to me. You'll leave
me. You'll abandon me. I can't have that!”

She turned and ran off, the sound of her sobs painful to Baron's
ears. He heard the door open and close. Then her sobs ceased, but not
in his memory. They would end up hurting him all night.

Chapter 7

But Janna hurt worse that night. The agony hit her repeatedly, like
steady, oncoming waves. She lay crying in bed for hours on end, the
thought of committing suicide bouncing around inside her head, the
dark thought stronger than before, building and growing and twisting
and devouring. And so close! Wasn't
that
it? The woman had
been so close to establishing something she had wanted so badly for
so damned long: passion, closeness, belonging.
He
had had
her
in his clutch, and now it was she who'd leaned away to avoid the
kiss.
Why couldn't I go through with it? Am I that stubborn? That
much of a wimp? That stuck on times past? Stuck on what happened over
a damned decade ago!

She knew Baron was a completely different person than Ben and anybody
else from her younger days. Yes, he might hurt her some day. Then
again, maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he was '
the one'.

None of that mattered to her anymore—so she '
told'
herself, or rather, what she tried to make herself believe. She
decided she would hurt tonight and wake up healed tomorrow. By
morning, men, relationships, romance, sex, marriage, kids, and
happily ever after would not be her priorities anymore. She would be
alone, stay alone. She'd already done it for eleven years. What was
another forty? There were many people on earth who never married or
developed romantic relationships.

She fell asleep before dawn, but did not remember when, and was sure
she was still crying as she made the transition from consciousness to
unconsciousness.

***

Morning came soon enough—sunny and hot to anyone else, but drab
and cold to Janna. She didn't want to deal with life today. The pain
was still there, looming, lingering, piercing. Impossible to ignore.
But she tried to, so the same.

After rolling out of bed and glancing at her watch: 2:02—she
walked downstairs.

Eggs, toast, sausage, and orange juice were her breakfast this
afternoon. Sometimes it was Special K. Sometimes it was oatmeal and a
banana. Sometimes it was nothing until closer to evening, when the
hunger really struck. She had no reason to stay on a health kick, so
who cared if she packed on the pounds? Who did she have to impress?
Men were ancient history as of today. The make-up in the bathroom was
useless now, too. She had nowhere to go, so why keep it?
I'll just
throw that crap away later when I'm not so tired.

After eating, she went to the living room and sat on the couch. The
mushed cushions, old and worn, groaned under her body weight. Her
hand reached for the remote on the floor, but stopped an inch away
before touching it. What was the point of watching TV? Enjoyable,
yes. Constructive? No.
I don't deserve to be entertained. I don't
deserve any of the pleasures of life.
Instead, she just loafed
around, staring at her despondent-looking reflection in the blank
screen, letting time elapse. In her eyes, she looked like a dead
young woman cursed to live about her years as a vampire, who needed
blood to thrive but was damned to a world where blood wasn't in
supply. Nobody could help her, because everyone was scared of her,
and she couldn't do anything to help herself, because her powers were
wasting away. The only thing she could do? Live out her days this
way, in silence, wallowing in her own self-pity.

An hour passed.

Then another.

Her gathering stack of thoughts gave way to a headache, and her
depressed feelings produced a bigger hole in her heart.

Before the tears came, she finally turned on the TV to distract
herself from the torment she was causing herself.

Judge Judy filled the bright, colorful screen as it clicked on. The
brazen old woman was busy insulting the defendant, a tall, burly man
dressed in a three-piece suit. “Put your listening ears on,
Sir. How many times do I have to tell you that you have to pay Ms.
Parker for her services?!”

He licked his lips and sneered. “I'm listening, Your Honor, but
everything she said over the phone was nothing what I expected or
wanted. Why should I have to pay for something that's been falsely
advertised?”

Judy Judy smacked her desk. “Because, it's what you agreed to.
See this paper? You signed it. You signed the contract—“


Yeah,
I did, but—“


I'm
speaking! When you sign a contract, you're supposed to read it first.
It says here, here, and here, exactly what the terms of agreement
are. Everything you object to is bologna. Yes, it may not have been
what you expected or wanted at first, based on the ad. But it's here
in the contract! You signed it! Uncross your arms.”

The man's eyes narrowed and his sneer turned into a long sigh. “I
don't believe this. This is— bullcrap.”


Too
bad! You have to pay Ms. Parker for her services, Mr.
Baron
.”

Janna felt a solid wave of realization and uncertainty crash into her
as Judge Judy spoke the name.
Whoa.

Janna quickly turned off the TV.

Coincidence
, she told herself.
It's a coincidence that I
turned on the TV, right when that name was spoken. That's all. Dumb
luck. Chance. It means nothing.

Deeper down, however, the doubt struggled to reach the surface to
tell her she was wrong.

So here she sat, in silence, but far from content.

***

Janna fell asleep not long after that, and awoke four hours later to
the sound of two closing car doors outside.
Probably Baron and his
sister...

Oh, who cares?

She really didn't want to care. She tried not to, but couldn't help
herself. It poked at her, over and over.

Forget him. Forget him. Forget him!

You're weak. You're attached already, so that makes you weak, Jan.

Or am I weak because I'm denying all my emotions?

Subconsciously, she stood up on her tingly, drowsy legs and glided to
the window in the dark. With her left hand, she pulled back the
curtain. With her right, she pulled down a slat from the blinds. What
she saw made her sick, inside and out.

Baron... he helped a tipsy, giggling blonde bombshell up his porch
steps. They were both dressed as if they'd come from a bar or a club.
It was not his sister. This girl was even prettier than Amy, with
mid-length blonde hair, a big, luscious booty, and boobs the size of
watermellons. The two disappeared into his house. Lights burned to
life in the downstairs window, then, a moment later, the right
upstairs window. That window had no curtain or blinds to prevent any
onlooker from looking in. Janna did just that.

She watched with tears in her eyes as they kissed, fondled and
ravaged each other in a show of ecstasy. She watched with a heavy
stomach as the woman yanked off her top, grabbed his hand, and placed
it on her breast. She watched them fool around until they moved out
of her line of sight.
I don't want to see any more anyways.

Janna stumbled back from the window, crying, her steady stream of
tears blurring her vision. In spite of the heartache, she now knew
the truth. Baron was a player. Had things happened differently the
night before, he would have fucked her and kicked her out. So maybe
her decision had been the right one after all.

It still hurt, though. She had developed feelings for him, and this
was a shock she should have expected. There was a reason why women
said Men Are Pigs. If they weren't pigs, what else
were
they?

They aren't any good, that's for sure.

***

Time went by, as always. It could have been nine o' clock or three in
the morning by the time she came out of her little spell, Janna
didn't know. Time seemed lost and unaccounted for. Crying did that to
a person. You lose yourself in the passage, as well as some of your
sanity. Then, when you find the groove back again, you're a little
less of a person than what you were before your emotions wrecked
havoc.

Tired and drained, she lay on her couch in the inky blackness, unable
to fall asleep. There was just too much to sort out, make sense of.
She didn't really want to do either of the two; she wanted to break
something, do something that didn't require conscious decision.

But the sudden
knock
at the door distracted her from doing
anything.

It scared Janna. Her adrenaline picked up where her thoughts had left
off. Who the hell could it be at this hour? A burglar? Someone who
needed to call a tow? Laura? The cops? Ben? B—


Janna,
open up. It's me—Baron.”

Happily obliged, asshole.

She answered it with the intention of telling him off. “What do
you want?”

The white shirt he was wearing was missing buttons and blotched with
lipstick stains—it was hard to see without much light, but it
was noticeable.


I
have to talk to you,” he said. “Can I come in?”


Why?
So you can take advantage of me?”


Look,
I'm sorry about last night. We—“

Janna interrupted: “This has nothing to do with last night,
okay? I'm not an idiot. I know what kind of man you really are.”
She pursed her lips, sharpened her eyes.


What
do you mean?” Baron's brows lowered, came together. “I
don't understand.”


Let
me spell it out for you. Go to hell!” She went to slam the door
on him, but he wedged his foot in before it closed.


What's
wrong? Why are you doing this? I have something I want to tell you!”


Get
your foot out of the door and leave, you jerk!”


Why?
What did I do?”


You
know what you did!” She kept trying to close the door; he kept
keeping it from shutting.


You
screw all the girls in town now, don't you?”

That's when he grabbed the door and opened it up just far enough to
poke his head inside. Pinpricks of reflected streetlight illuminated
his eyes in their centers. “I was confused, okay? I'm not
perfect. I went to the bar, had a few too many, and things happened.
I make mistakes. I did it because of you, Janna. I wanted to feel
what we felt last night. Yes, it almost happened, but I kept seeing
your
face. I kicked her out before anything happened. I made
her leave because you're the one I want. For whatever reason, I can't
take my mind off you. I don't
know
why. This... I never felt
this way about anybody before.”

No lick of response formed within her mind. No resolve. Any trace of
rationale dissolved away. This was a new kind of brain fart. Words
could not express the confusion brimming within her. Should she be
more angry? Was he lying? Was this some sort of trick? Had he had his
way with that girl and now wanted to sample another dessert?


Janna?”

Speaking never seemed more difficult. Words did blurt out, but she
was hardly aware of what she was saying or if they made any sense. “I
don't know, Baron. I just... don't... think that...”

Then she remembered Judge Judy saying: “Too bad! You have to
pay Ms. Parker for her services, Mr.
Baron
.”

She remembered the kiss.

Remembered his hand creeping up her dress.

Remembered watching his tush jiggle as he jogged down her porch
steps.

Remembered how glorious his smile was to look at.

Remembered she was supposed to have given up on romance.


Why
did
you
leave last night?” He smirked a comforting smirk that made her
feel at ease. “You know I'm not going to treat you like that
jackass did. You can give up on us guys—that's your choice. But
don't shut the whole world out because of the bad.”

Shit! He's telling the truth, I just don't want to hear it.
“Where
did you go tonight, Baron?” She took down her guard a little.


The
Lounge. It's—“


I
know where it is. It's a club.”


Have
you been there before?”


No...
not until tonight. If they're still open, that is.” She smiled
and blinked and dropped her guard to the floor.

He held out his hand. “I'd be honored to take you there. It's
only one now. I don't think they close till two-thirty or three. I
got wheels now, too.”

She gladly took his hand, stepped outside with him, and shut the door
behind her. Together, they walked toward the parked SUV across the
street. Minutes later, they were on the road.

***

BOOK: Love Thy Neighbor
10.21Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

Other books

Echoes of Us by Kat Zhang
Highlander's Kiss by Joanne Wadsworth
The Return: A Novel by Michael Gruber
The Liberation of Celia Kahn by J. David Simons
If You Dare by Jessica Lemmon
Secrets to Seducing a Scot by Michelle Marcos
Lulu in Honolulu by Elisabeth Wolf