Love to Believe: Fireflies ~ Book 2 (25 page)

“You’ll have to take her to the vet for her shots--it’s the same place Maddie takes Pirate--but it’s all been paid for. She’s yours if you want her.”

Rebecca glanced away from the kitten to look at him. He stood with his hands pocketed, eyes dark and hungry, watching her as if he’d been stranded in the desert for a month and she was his first oasis. Emma’s presence in his house this morning was proof that she knew better, but her stomach churned and her cheeks burned anyway. She wanted to look away but he held her rapt and drowning in confusion. She’d spent weeks crying herself to sleep over him, and after last night thought she had made progress, especially after her surprise meeting with the gorgeous Emma just this morning. She’d walked out of Sean’s house wearing pissed-off like a new designer dress, but god, oh god, here he stood just a few feet away, unabashed desire in his eyes. For her. The answering tug in her belly reminded her she wasn’t over Sean Kinkaid. Not by a long shot.

Nausea roiled in her stomach and she hated herself for being so freaking emotional. He’d dumped her, had made no attempt to contact her since, and now had another woman in his bed and spending the night.

Why did she still want him, still love him so much? What was wrong with her? Where was her pride hiding, and how was she going to get it back?

Sean took a step toward her and Rebecca’s heart slammed into her ribs. “Rebecca--” The bell interrupted as the door swung open to admit Nate. He glanced from Rebecca to Sean and his face broke into a smile. He walked over, hand extended in greeting.

“Hey, Sean, how’re you doing, man? Long time no see.”

“Nate. Good to see you.”

The two men shook hands and a moment later Big Will lumbered from his office with a Texas-sized Thermos in his hands. “Well, hello there.” He nodded to Sean and Nate, and held up his Thermos. “Just coming for my afternoon blast of caffeine.”

“Daddy, you’ve already downed two of those things.”

“I’m about to make it three.” His tone brooked no argument.

“We’re just heading out for lunch,” Nate said. “Why don’t you join us, William? You, too, Sean.”

“Thanks,” Sean said. “I appreciate the invite, but I’ll have to take a rain check.” He turned his eyes to Rebecca, his expression inscrutable. “So, you’re keeping the cat?”

She held the kitten closer. “Just try to pry her away from me.”

“Well, look at that, will you.” Big Will petted the calico’s head with one of his fingers. “Cute little thing.”

“What’s his name?” Nate asked.

“It’s probably a she,” Rebecca said. “Calicos are almost always female. And I haven’t named her yet. Sean just brought her in.”

“Do you need any cat stuff?” Sean asked.

Rebecca shook her head. “No. I still have a litter box and litter from Mr. Peabody, and I’ll pick up kitten food and toys later.”

“Okay. Well, I guess that’s my cue to leave, then. Nate, Will, good to see you.”

“You coming out to the party on Saturday?” Big Will directed the question to Sean. “Whole family will be there. Cal’s been working on fixing up the barn. Maddie has big plans for stringing lights and having music and games for TJ and his friends, and god knows what all else.” He shook his head and a fond smile curved his mouth. “That Maddie is something else.”

“She’s a special lady,” Sean agreed, nodding. “Listen, I need to head back to the office. Have a good afternoon, and I guess I’ll see you Saturday.”

“Sean.” Rebecca’s voice caught and she cleared her throat. “Thank you.”

He responded with a smile that shot straight to her heart, and then he disappeared through the door. Big Will strode to the kitchen for his caffeine fix, and Rebecca cuddled the kitten for another minute before setting her back in the box.

“Sounds like a big shindig on Saturday,” Nate said.

“TJ is turning six. Maddie’s going all out and dragging Caleb with her. It’s going to be crowded. Both the Walker and Kinkaid clans, plus about ten of TJ’s friends.” Rebecca grabbed her purse and picked up the box, cooing at the mewing kitten. She shot a glance in Nate’s direction and made a quick decision. “You’re welcome to come, if you want to. I’m sure everyone would love to see you.”

Nate’s face brightened. “You sure? I mean, I’d like to, but I don’t want to crash.”

“Don’t be silly. You aren’t crashing. I just invited you.”

“Well, then, yes. Thanks. It’ll be nice to see your family again. Can we go together, or would you rather drive separately?”

The memory of Emma with her significant rack and flowing blonde hair popped into Rebecca’s mind. Sean wouldn’t be coming to the party alone and neither, by god, would she.

“Pick me up at noon,” she blurted as they walked outside. “We’ll drive together.”

Nate’s wide smile opened up the floodgates of Rebecca’s shame. She was not, as she so often claimed, Freaking Awesome. She was a Horrible Person, right down to the soles of her pedicured feet. She was using poor Nate to ease the hurt inflicted by Sean, and it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right.

She stopped in the middle of the parking lot and, awash in guilt, met Nate’s gaze with her own. “Nate, wait. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about anything.”

His smile faded to a wry curve of his lips. He tilted her chin up with his finger, and his dark eyes softened as they stared into hers. “You know, I wondered who it was. Never figured on Sean, though. Have to say, I didn’t see it coming.”

Rebecca blinked, words of denial scrambling in her brain, trying in vain to make their way to her mouth. She saw in his eyes that he knew. Her shoulders slumped. “Am I that transparent?”

“Only to me, for obvious reasons. Don’t worry. I won’t let your secret out.”

“What gave me away?”

Nate shrugged. “I’ve always hoped you’d look at me the way you just looked at him.”

“Nate--”

“We’re just friends, Rebecca. I get it. Of course I want more, and I’m hoping you’ll change your mind someday, but you’ve been clear about where we stand. So, no worries, okay? Let’s go to your house and take care of the kitten.” He glanced down at the box. “She’s trying to escape.”

“Nate.” She rested her hand on his arm. “Thanks.”

He smiled and shrugged, his expression resigned. “That’s what friends are for.”

***

Sean returned to the office expecting to dive into work, but instead he’d spent the better part of the afternoon staring out the window and petting Belle, who had taken up permanent residence beside him. She alternated between lying down on her back and displaying herself for his admiration, and sitting with her head resting on his leg. Her tail moved in a continuous sweep.

He stroked his fingers through the dog’s thick fur, mindful of the scars around her neck, and glanced at the photos on his credenza, zeroing in on the one of him with his siblings. He tried to remember when and where the photo was taken, but his mind blanked out the particulars. What he noted the most was their relative youth, the carefree smiles and ready laughter.

The photo captured them when they were still innocent, before life had shown its true colors, before they had screwed things up and ruined lives with arrogance and pride and wrong-headed thinking.

No, that wasn’t right. Before
he
screwed up, before
he
ruined lives.

Jack died before he had the opportunity to screw up--not that he would have, ever, because...well, Jack was Jack--and Brenna’s only sin was growing older and she’d done it with grace, more smart and beautiful now at thirty than she had ever been. Not that he’d ever tell her that, of course. Like her solid ego needed more stroking. No, he was the one who had tarnished the Kinkaid name by being a competitive prick, driven by greed and hubris and the desire to win at all costs.

Jesus
. He ran a hand through his hair and wondered if it was too early for a drink. It was five o’clock somewhere, wasn’t it? God knew he could use a hefty shot of Glenlivet or two, or ten.

He turned back to the computer, minimizing the document he’d been ignoring all afternoon. He typed the name
Hayley Boyd
into his browser and waited for the options to pop up. It had been five years since the accident that took her father, and in that time Hayley had grown into a coltish fifteen-year-old attending a private school, the best money could buy.

She didn’t have a father, but at least she had that.

Sean snorted. Small comfort.

He clicked on a few of the links where her name appeared. She wrote articles for the school newspaper and sang with the glee club--articles her father would never read and songs he would never hear. Her mother remarried last year. Sean hoped the stepfather was as good to Hayley as Maddie was to TJ.

He checked the time and powered down his computer. What good was it to be the boss if you couldn’t cut out when you wanted to? Maybe he’d hit the gym or--

Belle yipped. She’d fallen asleep on her back with her muffin-sized paws in the air, and the noises she made had Sean wondering of what she might be dreaming. Her body twitched, and she emitted a muffled bark that woke her. Surprised, she rolled over and stood up, shaking herself as if she’d gone swimming and needed to shed some water.

“Welcome back.” He laughed when her tail powered up to full throttle. Encouraged, Belle jumped up and dropped her paws on his shoulders, catching him full in the face with her enthusiastic tongue.

“Still into blondes, I see.”

Sean, avoiding Belle’s attempts to prove her devotion, recognized Brenna’s voice. “Real funny. What are you doing here? Don’t you have a business to run?” He pushed Belle down and turned his attention to his sister.

Brenna plopped into one of the chairs opposite Sean’s desk and slid into a comfortable slouch. “I came to see your new roomie. Mrs. M came into the L&G for a cinnamon bun on her way to the post office and told us about Belle, said you were iffy about taking her, so I thought I’d wander over and guilt you into it.” Sensing this was another human to whom she must endear herself, Belle bounded around the desk to Brenna, dropped her butt to the floor and her head on Brenna’s thigh, tail swiping the carpet. “Aw. Look at her. What a sweetheart.”

Sean narrowed his eyes at Belle. “Traitor.”

Brenna laughed and rewarded Belle with an enthusiastic petting. “She’s a giant, but just look at her beautiful face. You have to keep her, Sean.”

He sighed, resigned, but not displeased. “I think I’ll bring her over to Maddie’s on Saturday to meet Pirate. Maybe he can teach her some doggy manners. She’s kind of a slut.”

To prove his point, Belle dropped to her back, feet pawing the air. Brenna laughed again and bent over to accommodate Belle’s shameless ploy for a belly rub, then stood. “Okay, well, since you’ve already been convinced to make a commitment, I’m outta here. Congrats on your new girlfriend. She’s going to ruin your expensive suits with dog hair. You’re a good guy for taking her, but don’t tell anyone I said that because I’ll deny it.”

“You’re a brat.”

“You’re a pain in the ass.”

“Love you,”

“Love you back,” she called on her way out.

Sean swung back to the credenza and lifted the photo of the three Kinkaid siblings. “You’d be proud of her, Jack. She’s still a handful, but she’s got a good heart.” He lowered his voice. “So, you want to help me out here? You talked to Maddie when she needed you, so talk to me now. What do I do about Rebecca? How the hell do I let go?”

He stared at Jack’s smiling face and sighed, old grief settling on his shoulders like a weighted shroud. He set the photo down and laid his head back, eyes closed. Rebecca’s face swam before him, and his lips curved remembering her joy at the sight of the calico kitten. At least he’d done something right.

He’d long since reached the conclusion that he shouldn’t have ended their arrangement. She wasn’t a child who needed decisions made for her. She was a woman, fully capable of choosing for herself whether a relationship with him was worth everything she’d have to give up. He should have trusted her to make the choice herself instead of breaking things off just as they were getting started.

Why’d you do it, idiot?

Because she deserves better. So much better.

Yes, but she also deserved the right to choose for herself.

He’d taken the choice away from her, and now he’d never know. She’d moved on to Nate--fast, too, and damned if that didn’t sting like a bitch--and it would be wrong of him to try to insert himself back into her life. She’d done what he hoped she’d do, after all, had begun a relationship with a man who could give her the things she hoped for, a good man who adored her. It hadn’t worked out with Nate before, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t work this time. Rebecca was in a better place now, cutting her ties to the family business and the stress that had hurt her relationship with Nate the first time around. Maybe she and Nate stood a real chance.

He should be happy about that, but the thought sliced like a knife, and the cutting truth was he wasn’t happy about it at all, not one bit. It was hell, picturing her with Nate, allowing the other man to touch her, to kiss her--sleeping with him, or more to the point,
not
sleeping--

“Mr. Kinkaid?”

Sean jolted at the sound of Mrs. M’s voice. He swiveled the chair around and tamped down the guilt that rose at having been caught, again, being unproductive. Never mind that he was the boss. He shouldn’t be wasting time.

“Something wrong?”

Mrs. M’s lips twitched with amusement. “Since we’re apparently out of work around here, I’m going home. It’s after five.”

Sean’s brain scrambled for a witty comeback but he came up empty. He had no excuse for being a slacker. “Okay. See you tomorrow. I’m outta here, too, in a few. I need to take my new girl to the pet store for a collar and leash.”

“What’s wrong with the ones she has?”

“They’re pink.”

“So? She’s a girl.”

“Well, I’m not. She’s getting something red or blue. Or black. With a skull and crossbones on it.”

Ms. M rolled her eyes. “Don’t forget your eight a.m. with the Millers. They’re on the outs with their son-in-law so they’re changing their will. Again. And you have to be in court at ten. Have a good night.”