Love Today (11 page)

He laughed silently and then asked, “Hey Maggie, what are you gonna be for Halloween? Did you decide?”

She seriously considered that, especially because she now had a few more costume ideas to choose from. “Mmm, maybe a fairy ballerina,” she said, touching the tutu and a fairy wand set.

“Sounds
good,” he nodded. “But what about the tiara? You could be a
princess
fairy ballerina.”

I had to laugh at that, especially because Maggie was totally interested in the idea.
She went to work on the costume, and while she was distracted, Jared turned his attention to me.

“So,” he smiled. “How have you been?” He actually got up and moved to the couch I was sitting on, and even though he didn’t
sit directly by me, he was closer in
proximity
and it
made me nervous.

“I’ve been pretty good,” I tried to say evenly.
“
How about you?”

He slightly nodded. “Mm, so-so.”

“Just so-so?” I smiled.

He returned the smile but didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Then he kind of glanced around the empty house and asked, “So where’s your boyfriend? Couldn’t make it?”

“He’s in Canada.”

“Vacation?”

“Work.”

“
What’s he do
?”

I looked at
him
warily for the inquiry, but he just shrugged, letting me know it wasn’t a big deal to ask.

“He’s a former pro snowboarder,
”
I finally replied.

He considered that, seeming a little surprised. “Former, huh? So what’s he doing in Canada?”

“He works with other up-and-coming pros.”

“Oh? Like training them?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, so how often is he gone?”

I smiled, realizing where the conversation was h
eaded. But I did answer, “A few times
a month.”

“Hmm,” he said.
“So
have you considered going out with me sometime?”

I was taken by surprise
with
that, but he seemed serious. Well I knew he wasn’t going to joke around about it, but I was a little intimidated by the fact that he truly expected an answer.
Jared was a little more up front with me than I was used to
when it came to guys
.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I
answered
.

“Why not?”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts. “Because I enjoy what I have with Zack
,
and
I’m
comfortable with it.”

“And you wouldn’t be comfortable with me?”

“That’s not what I said. It means that when something is good, it would be foolish to change it.”

“Why change what already works, huh,” he stated. “Well, why are you okay with just ‘settling’ with what works?
What if you could have ‘amazing’ instead of just ‘good’?
”

“Why do you think you can be persuasive enough to change my mind?”

“Well…because I’m just going with my instincts. I feel like you’re worth the effort.”

I sighed.
He was going to keep being forward, wasn’t he? And really, just because he was a famous rock star, I was supposed to succumb to his charm?

You do
succumb
, you idiot
, I told myself.
He would
only
break your heart.

“Jared,
the more you do this the more hesitant I become
to be around you
.”

I wished I hadn’t said that, but there was no taking it back.

“Hesitant?
Because
you really have considered it?”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Yes you have,” he laughed accusingly.
“
Taryn
,
what the—” He stopped short because Maggie was still in the room, but he didn’t finish his
thought. Instead he just stood
and I knew he was going to leave.

“I’m sorry,” I told him, standing up with him.

“I just can’
t figure you out.
”

“No,
you’re
probably
just used to getting your way.”

He stared at me for
several seconds; I felt guilty for letting my defenses turn bitchy, but I was only being truthful. 

F
inally he said, “Is that honestly what you think of me?” He slowly shook his head, clearly disappointed with me. “I was hoping you wouldn’t stereotype me like that,” he said quietly. “I suppose now would be the time to reveal all of my anti-social secrets, right? Let you know that I don’t live that ‘sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll’ lifestyle. I’m just cool with the rock ‘n’ roll aspect of it, okay?
I love that. I love who I am and what I do.
But I take care of myself. I try to make good choices
and I don’t
live it up with women whenever I want. I’m not that kind of person, and I was hoping that you’d realize that too.”

By then Maggie was drawn to our conversation, and even though Jared had been speaking softly to me, she could tell that we were in some sort of disagreement.

“I should get goin
g,” he said. “I’m sorry for
complicating your life because of
my
interest in you
.”

I had no response. He told Maggie goodbye and she watched in confusion as he found his own way
out
the front door.
She even frowned at me, like it was my fault for sending her new buddy away.

I wanted to kick myself. I didn’t know what else I could have said or done differently, but I was really mad at myself. Why? I don’t know. I got my way, right? I resisted and resisted until he finally—

The front door opened again, and before I could get excited that I’d have a chance to apologize,
Jared
set a CD on the table in the entryway.

“By the way, there’s the song I wrote for you. It’s going to be big, so hopefully you get used to it.”

And with that he left again.

Maggie was
up in a flash to get the disc
, but I took a deep breath and dropped down onto the couch again. I didn’t know why I let people frustrate me so badly.

“What is it?” Maggie asked, bringing
the disc
to me.

I took it
and said, “It’s a song. Jared, uh, makes
music.”

“I wanna hear!” she said excitedly.

“Uh, no, I don’t think so. You’d better let me hear it first, okay? Then maybe I’ll let you hear it.”

She looked confused as to why I would say that, but just looking at
the
words
scribbled on the disc
confirmed that I made the right choice.

The song was
titled “Wicked
Woman
.”

Chapter Ten

“How about this one?”
Rachel
asked, holding up another dress.

“It’s the same as the last one. They’re both fine.”

She sighed and held them against each other to compare. “I think I like the blue one for her. Makes her look a little more…I don’t know, distinguished.”

“Distinguis
hed? Jeez, she’s five
.
You said no pink, so I think either the blue or the
green
works just fine.”

I seriously couldn’t understand why my sister was fretting over which dress to put on her daughter. It was for when her new
“guy friend”
meets Maggie for the first time
that coming weekend
.
Rachel
made it seem like a “never get a second chance to make a first impression” moment when it shouldn’t have been.

I wasn’t surprised when she bought both dresses.

Maggie and I wandered to the food court to get pretzels
while
Rachel
continued to shop for accessories, and that’s when my phone rang.

I answered it with, “You’re back!”

“Yep, I am,”
Zack
replied. “What are you up to on this beautiful Monday afternoon?”

“Shopping,” I sort of groaned. I complained to him about my sister and my latest annoyance with her, being car
eful that Maggie couldn’t hear, and using the phrase “a certain someone.”

“Well, at least she’s claiming she has a daughter, right?”

“Yeah, because she can’t go
any longer
pretending she doesn’t.”

“Hmm. But maybe meeting the right guy can set her straight?”

“
I doubt it.
The day she uses the term ‘boyfriend’ or says ‘the right guy’ will be a shock to us all. But s
he acts like she’s got a horrible secret to reveal or something
.
That’s what bugs me.
”

“I don’t know. I guess some people are afraid of ruining something the
y
really want. Maybe it’s not meant to be, but nobody likes to speed up the inevitable.”

I wasn’t sure if he was still talking about my sister or not, but I felt guilty, like I was afraid he knew about my conversations with Jared. He did know that Jared had asked me out a couple of times—I didn’t keep that from Zack—but I kept the rest out of it. We had agreed to a casual relationship, but it didn’t mean that I wanted to hurt his feelings. Sometimes I felt like I wanted to tell him, but I usually decided that there was nothing to tell.

Especially now, because
I was
most likely
on
Jared
’s
“do not contact” list.

“So what are you doing tonight?” he asked. “You wanna hang out?”

“Sure, that sounds good.”

“Hey, how come your sister isn’t working? Isn’t Monday the day she slaves away all day? And Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday…”

I laughed and said, “Yeah, usually. But her boss made her take the day off.”

“And she agreed?”

“
If it comes from the boss then yeah. But hey, I’m going to finish up
here
and I’ll give you a call, okay?”

“Sure thing. Can’t wait to see you.”

I
was excited to see Zack that night. I think I even took longer to get ready than I normally did.
Rachel
walked by my room as I was putting my shoes on and asked, “Where are you going?”

I noticed that she too was dressed to go out and I made a very obvious shake of my head. “No,” I told her.

“Taryn, I didn’t know you were going out tonight. I already made plans.”

“Then cancel them. Finish the day with your daughter. Then you can say you’ve actually spent an entire day with her.”

“Oh shut up,” she growled at me. “Why don’t you have a job that pays for a house
and your child’s college fund?”

“I’m happy with my job. And I could afford a place on my own, but instead I choose to live here and raise
your
child
.”

“I never asked you to move in here, Taryn!”

“No, but
you
barely spend
time with your own kid!
Mom and Dad—
”

“They know nothing about my life! I barely got through college thanks to them! I did it. I did it all on my own. And thank God I landed a great job right away with a great company, or Maggie and I would be on the streets!”

“The streets? You had all of us to help you! No, you were the one that turned your back on us! We all offered to help, but it wasn’t how you wanted us to help. I understand you needed to be a working mom,
Rachel
. I would have been the same way. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to have to take care of me. But you neglect that poor kid more than you should!”

“Neglect her—?”

“And instead of asking for a babysitter, you just choose to dump her on people—”

“Hey! I had a great babysitter! I didn’t ‘dump’ her on anyone! Are you talking about
you
, Taryn? Are you whining that I don’t pay you to babysit? I thought we agreed that you didn’t have to pay for anything but utilities—”

“We did agree on that. And it’s got nothing to do with watching Maggie—I would never resent watching my own niece—but you take advantage of me,
Rachel
. Like this,” I motioned to her, all ready to go out. “Did you even think to ask me to watch her tonight? I mean all you needed to do was ask. Is that so hard?”