Love Today (54 page)

Jared had been on tour for almost three weeks and it was lonely without him. The house was entirely done; fully furnished, including the beautiful outdoor patio set that he’d gotten me before he left. There were small things like changing
window treatments
and other decorative things that I was still in the process of, but I was having fun with it and I couldn’t wait for Jared to see. I’d sent him pictures, video even, and he seemed to really like what I’d done. But I could hardly wait for him to be with me
in
the house again, especially because
it would be June
.

Wedding time.

I hadn’t planned to let three weeks go by without seeing him, especially since he was just in the mid-west for the beginning of the tour. Maggie and I
were going to join
him for his Colorado/Utah dates, but an unexpected flu bug took over our plans and Maggie was down for three days. That had been nine days ago, and kind of the start to Maggie’s cranky behavior. But now we were going to join him for his Kansas and Oklahoma shows, starting on Tuesday. I knew how excited Maggie was and I hoped it would straighten some of her attitude issues.

In the meantime, I did have enough to keep me busy with the wedding. Jared and I had some photos done before he left so the announcements could be finished, and my mom was studiously completing the menu and decorations.
We weren’t going to have anything elaborate but it did take a lot of planning.

My mom was having a great time with it, which pleased me, but Jared’s mom wanted nothing to do with it. He’d spoken to her several times about it but she even told him that she would probably be on a cruise at that time. I wasn’t hurt by it if that was her intention, but it was Jared that I worried about. I didn’t want to come between
him and
his family, and even though he repeatedly tried to assure me that his mom would never be happy, I still for some reason wished that I could change that.

The media tried to get an inside scoop on our wedding plans. They knew that it was in June, but there were so many false details thrown around that
it created
too many stories to believe. I even did
most of
the yard work around our house myself so that I didn’t draw attention to any possible wedding preparations going on.

Our neighbors were pretty good
though
, most wantin
g their own privacy maintained.
Jared and I had become familiar with a few of them and I was glad that
we lived in a private community. A
nd our own two acres
were
very secluded
.
Trees and shrubs framed in our property just inside wrought iron fencing, and it was completely closed in with a gated driveway.

Besides a landscaper that did some basic lawn mowing and weeding, I enjoyed taking care of my own home. Jared was even pretty content sitting on a riding lawnmower to cut his own grass and I knew that he was looking forward to those simple “at home” things when he was done touring. He was a rock star by the world’s definition, but more than that he was a passionate musician that enjoyed being a family man.
We were both really excited for
our family
to expand
.

In fact, that was the first thing he mentioned to me when Maggie and I arrived in Kansas Tuesday afternoon. He held Maggie in one arm and me in the other, and he informed me that Adrian (hi
s sound engineer) and his wife J
illian just had their first baby.

“She was so tiny,” he said. “Man, I cannot wait until we get to that point.”

It made me smile and I asked, “Is she here with the baby?”

“Not anymore
.
She left this morning.”

“How old is she
? And what’s her name?”

“Uh, her name was… Hmm…”

I smiled, not at all surprised. He was terrible with names.

“It was a flower,” he finally said. “Dahlia.”

“Aw, how cute. And she’s only a few weeks old, right?”

“Yeah, he missed the first couple of shows to be there for it.
But how about you?
You ready to get started on that?”

I chuckled and said, “A baby? Sure thing, sport, let’s go.”

Maggie was occupied with Jared’s phone as we sat down in his hotel room, but we both knew she was going to be pretty insistent on staying with us. Sometimes she was okay with Carrie
,
but I knew she’d been away from Jared too long to use that option already.
Even at that moment the phone was left on the couch and then Ms. Chatterbox returned for Jared’s undivided attention.

We did manage to get some time together a few hours later when Carrie took Maggie across the street for some ice cream. We only “allowed” her to go if she brought some back for me, so that was a good arrangement for everyone. She didn’t even make a fuss for Jared to go with her because she knew he couldn’t eat ice cream.

“See, being lactose intolerant isn’t
always
bad,” I teased him.

He didn’t disagree that time.

Our three days with Jared were meaningful, but it was hard to catch a flight out of Oklahoma City when the band was moving on to St. Louis. I talked myself up as much as I could, even with a grumpy five-year-old to reason with. I wished
I
could throw a fit about leaving Jared.

I would have just continued on with his tour, but there were a few commitments that I couldn’t bail on, including
the photography for my cousin’s wedding in a few days.
After that, I planned on joining Jared for the remainder of his tour.

When we returned to California my mom picked us up from the airport, and after she visited with us at my house for a little bit, it was decided that Maggie would go stay with Grandma and Grandpa for a night or two. I was grateful for the break, and the first thing I did was take a long bath
while I talked to Jared on the phone,
and
then I took
a three-
hour nap.

Apparently Maggie did the same at my parents’ house.

The first half of March was tough.
Michelle Bronson kept in touch with me but not as much as I would have liked. That was because they’d gotten nowhere with Rachel’s case. They couldn’t place Nathan Oliver with my sister the night she died, and they couldn’t collect enough solid evidence
about the events of that night
, either
. There was proof that Rachel had been in his apartment
recently—fingerprints and hair—but there was no sign that anything had gone awry between them.

Kevin Harris admitted to having an affair with her. He also admitted to knowing that Rachel was pregnant. She’d come to him, having already decided to have an abortion, and he didn’t object. Hearing stuff like that sickened me, but I guess I was glad I didn’t actually have to hear it come out of his mouth. The more th
e case veered toward Kevin Harris
and Nathan Oliver, the more I hated them all.

Jared’s dad had become background lighting. Michelle told me that he seemed to be taking everything pretty hard. I could hardly feel sorry for him, but in some way I did. He was even taking measures to sell his half of the company—he didn’t want to work with Kevin another day.

We returned to Everett mid-March so Jared could finalize some things with the house he’d sold. He was in between shows and had a few days to spare. Michelle met us for lunch the second and final day we were there, and because Zack knew we were in town, he’d asked to watch Maggie. I’d dropped her off while Jared was taking care of some business and only spoke to him for a couple of minutes on the porch. He looked good, and I was especially happy to see that he and Maggie were pretty excited to see each other.

But I could tell
Zack w
as surprised to see Jared when we arrived to pick up Maggie around four
.
They’d
been in the middle of making cookies
,
and Maggie
came outside and
ended up dragging Jared out of the car because she insisted they finish making them.

Zack graciously invited us inside, whether he wanted to or not.

It was the first time the two
men
were in the same room together since the morning they first officially met. Ironically, that was also the morning that pretty much caused Zack to break up with me. I wasn’t sure if they would have otherwise hung out again if it hadn’t been for Maggie.

I no longer worried that Zack and Jared wouldn’t get along because they were both great guys. However, I think it was harder for
me
to be in Zack’s house than I thought it would be. I wouldn’t sit on the couch and I didn’t even have to exchange words with Zack for him to know why. Instead I busied myself with Maggie in the kitchen while the two guys stood at the counter and talked about baseball of all things. But they were laughing over a shared opinion about one of the teams by the time the last batch of cookies was cooling on a rack, so I was pleased with that.

“If they could just match Strasburg against Kershaw, I would be a happy guy,” Jared was saying.

“I think I’d for sure be at that game,” Zack agreed. “It’s gotta happen at some point.”

“Knowing my luck it’ll be when they’re in D.C.” Jared smiled.

Zack chuckled. “It’ll be in Dodger stadium when you’re overseas.”

“That’s probably true, too,” Jared agreed with a laugh.

I had no idea who they were even talking about, but I was glad it was helping the drab mood that Jared and I had arrived with.
I didn’t particularly care for the loose ends in the case that Michelle had been discussing with us at lunch.

It felt like my sister’s case was never going to be solved.

Chapter Forty-
One

Maggie’s nervousness was obvious compared to the other children’s playful excitement. I stood in her new preschool classroom, observing the scene for her and any potential way to make her feel more comfortable. She was joining the group at the end of the school year, but I figured two months of preschool was better than none. I hoped it would prepare her for kindergarten in the fall.

“That looks fun,” I pointed. Her eyes followed my finger to a basket of puppets and a little wooden pu
ppet theatre that was preschool-
sized.

She barely shrugged.

The other kids were staring at her; I couldn’t blame them.
The new girl.
  But of course kids don’t always recognize the reality of things and Maggie was intimidated. She asked me to take her home.

“All of these kids were new at one time also,” I tried to assure her. I was about to say more but the teacher rang a little bell and the kids scurried to put away toys so they could sit in a big circle on the rug.

Maggie just stared at them and didn’t move.

The teacher—“Miss Olivia”—explained to them that they had a new member of their class that day. She introduced Maggie, and then she had each kid share his or her name one by one.

Maggie still just stared at them and didn’t move.

But I had to encourage it when the teacher invited her to sit on the rug with them. I even whispered a bribe to Maggie so she would do it. I was thankful she did, but then I wondered how awful of a parent I was.

Preschool was only two-and-a-half hours, but it seemed like a full day to me. I did stay there the whole time, glad that Olivia and her assistant, Melody, allowed me to help with snacks and other things. At least I seemed useful instead of a hovering parent.

When I first met with Olivia she was aware of Maggie’s apprehension. Olivia
was the daughter of my mom’s
close friend, so I felt comfortable with the choice. Maggie seemed to like her by the end of the day, so I
was
optimistic that preschool would eventually fit.

Nine a.m. on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday became our preschool routine. By the second week I was able to walk Maggie into class and leave her. I would take care of some errands during that time, do some photography work, or talk to Jared if he was awake yet. Usually he would call just before Maggie came out the doors, and while I drove home, she and Jared would have
a conversation about that day’s school experience
.

That Friday I had taken some photos up town and then grabbed a few groceries at the store. My phone rang just as I pulled in to pick up Maggie, but it wasn’t Jared. I almost didn’t answer it, but I decided I should.

“Hi, Michelle,” I said in the most neutral voice I could muster. I never knew what a phone call from Detective Bronson was going to produce, so I didn’t even have a guess.

“Hi, Taryn.
Uh…
I just wanted to see how you and your family are doing.
Um,
I know it doesn’t make up for anything
,
but I am still very sorry
that we haven’t been able to get anywhere
.”