Love Will Find a Way (32 page)

"I have no control over how Robert feels, or what he does."

Dennis nodded. “That's true. That's why you should put as much distance as possible between you and Robert and his family."

"But they need me,” Emily protested. “They've just lost Aunt Beth."

"And before that they needed you because Aunt Beth was in the hospital and before that because George was ill. That's all well and good for them, but what about you?” His voice was soft and persuasive. “I try never to be judgmental, but this has to be said. They're using you.” He leaned toward her and held her eyes in a riveting stare. “For your own well-being you must begin to break the ties that bind you to Robert and his family."

"But I've known them all my life.” Emily raised her hand in protest. “I can't desert them now."

"Why not?” Dennis asked.

She couldn't think of any logical reason to keep hanging on. “They need me"

"And you have this passion for being needed. Did you ever stop to ask yourself why?"

She hadn't. Maybe she'd been afraid to. “You've given me something else to think about.” Was she really that insecure?

Dennis ran his tongue around his lips, a movement Emily found strangely disconcerting. “Emily, darling, they're taking advantage of your need to be needed."

Emily was so startled by the sudden revelation of what had to be a major character flaw within herself that she failed to notice he had called her darling. “And you think I've encouraged them?"

He gazed at her with a bland half smile. “Have you?"

"I don't know, maybe, in a way.” Her head spun with new and conflicting thoughts. “After Aunt Beth's funeral, I'll think more about this."

"Don't compound your problem by resorting to procrastination. The time to start thinking about it is now.” Dennis watched her with studied concern. “Will you be sitting with the family during the funeral services tomorrow?"

After her brawl with Robert today, she doubted she'd be welcome. “If Clara needs me, I suppose...."

"Clara has a daughter.” Dennis reminded her softly.

He was right, but then wasn't he always? Emily thought for a few moments before lifting her chin and asserting firmly, “No. I'm not."

"And if they insist?” Dennis asked.

She didn't think they would, not after what Robert had said today. “I'll kindly but firmly refuse.” Already she was dreading sitting in the funeral chapel alone.

Dennis said, “I'll accompany you to the funeral."

"Robert wouldn't like that.” The words slipped out before Emily could stop them.

Dennis asked, “Does that mean you don't want me to go?"

Robert was the one who had started this foolish quarrel. “I'd be pleased to have you go with me."

"Then it's settled.” Dennis smiled his satisfaction. “Tell me about your Aunt Beth. How old was she? Had she ever been married?"

How easy it was to tell Dennis all about Aunt Beth's recently revealed secret lover.

They were still discussing and speculating when Larry and the twins returned.

Emily had thought that after such a hectic day and trying evening, she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. How wrong she was. She promptly dropped into a sound slumber. But her rest was plagued with disturbing dreams that she couldn't recall when she awoke the next morning.

As she dressed in somber black, the realization of what lay ahead began to impact her. The task of getting through this day was not going to be an easy one.

Larry was dressed and draped over half the couch when Emily emerged from her bedroom. “Ready to go, Mom?"

Emily had put off until now telling Larry that she wasn't going with him. “Dennis is taking me to the funeral."

Larry let out a little gasp. “Do you think that's wise? You saw yesterday how Dad feels about Dennis."

Oh yes, she had seen. “I don't want to be alone today."

"You won't be alone. Grandma and Grandpa will be there, and Aunt Debra and Uncle Mike, and Kevin.” Larry hesitated before saying, “And Dad."

Emily broke her news gently, “You will all be sitting in the secluded family section. I won't."

"Why not?” Larry asked in dismay.

"I'm no longer a part of the Franklin family.” She should have had the courage to make this break long before now. “I don't belong with Aunt Beth's family anymore."

Larry's hand nervously adjusted his tie. “Is this what you and Dennis talked about last night?"

"The decision about where I would sit was mine."

"But Dennis put this silly notion in your head.” Larry came across the room and glared down at his mother. “Didn't he?"

Emily met his bold gaze. “Dennis is perceptive and far sighted. He called to my attention some proprieties I should have recognized for myself and didn't."

"You said yourself that Dennis couldn't be objective in this situation.” Larry put both his hands on his mother's shoulders. “You can't run out on your family."

"The Franklins are no longer my family.” She had to make him understand. “I was a part of them because I was married to your father. And I'm not married to him anymore."

"Kevin and I are your family.” Larry dropped onto the couch. “We're your sons."

This was neither the time nor the place to have this conversation. They were both already too emotionally unstrung. “Let's get through the funeral and then we can talk about this."

Larry crossed his legs and stared at his shoes. “You can talk forever and it won't change the facts."

"But it may change how you see those facts.” Emily laid her hand on her son's arm. “Please try to understand my position."

He shook free of her grasp. “I don't understand anybody's position in this whole stupid mess. I don't understand why Dad left us in the first place. And don't say he didn't leave Kevin and me, too. He did. I don't understand why you didn't try to stop him. I don't understand why now that he wants to come back, you won't let him."

All these months her younger son, her baby, had been harboring these bitter, frustrating emotions, holding them deep inside and she had been too absorbed in her own private hell to notice. “Larry, darling, Dad doesn't want to come back to me."

"Yes he does. He told me so himself. Why won't you let him?"

Emily drew her son into her arms and held him as she had when he was a small child. She wanted to lie to him and tell him everything was going to be all right. She couldn't, “If it were only that simple."

A sob shook through Larry's body. “I'm sorry, Mom. I shouldn't have said that. Dennis says I have to accept what's happened and put it behind me.” He brushed at a tear. “I am trying."

"Is that why you told me I should ‘go for it’ with Dennis?” It seemed that Dennis Morrison had inserted himself into every facet of her life. Even if his motives were pure and Emily was beginning to wonder about that, he was being far too presumptuous.

Larry nodded. “I thought I was doing what was right."

"We are both too emotionally overwrought to talk about this now.” Emily brushed Larry's hair back from his forehead. “Go to the funeral and try not to worry. Whatever happens, remember, I love you."

Larry made a visible effort to pull himself together. “I love you, too.” He hurried out the front door.

Emily sat on the front porch and waited for Dennis to put in an appearance. The trauma of grief and confusion suspended all other emotions, wrapping her in a cocoon of false serenity. Dennis arrived looking stylish and handsome in a dark, smartly tailored suit. He got out of his station wagon and came to greet her. “Have you been waiting long?"

Emily pulled her mind back from a wasteland of confused thoughts. “I don't think so."

The foyer of the chapel was crowded. Some of the people Emily recognized but many of them were complete strangers. She had been a close acquaintance of Aunt Beth, but she had never
known
the first thing about Elizabeth Abigail Franklin. Entering the chapel on Dennis's arm, Emily signed the guest book and waited for him to do the same.

They found a pew near the back and sat down. Soft somber music sounded through the hushed chamber. Goose bumps appeared on Emily's arms and gamboled across her body.

Dennis laid his arm around her shoulder. “Are you cold?"

Emily shivered at his touch. “I'm cold inside."

Dennis took her hand and held onto it. “Relax and take a deep breath."

Emily obeyed and then leaned back to listen to the eulogy.

The service was short and formal, almost ritualistic. Emily glanced around the crowded sanctuary. Her thoughts skipped like a stone over water to wonder why Dennis had insisted on coming here with her. Whatever his motives, she was thankful for his presence. Her mind drifted backward to pleasanter times and events.

The sound of organ music and soft singing pulled Emily from her reverie. The service was drawing to a close. She whispered in Dennis's ear, “I don't want to view the body.” She wanted to remember Aunt Beth alive and animated, not lying stiff and still on a satin pad in a quilted box.

Dennis accepted her decision without question. He held her arm as they threaded through the crowd that had gathered on the front lawn and walked toward his station wagon. Once there, he opened the car door and helped her inside, then came around and got under the wheel.

The pallbearers emerged from the building and came down the steps carrying Aunt Beth's earthly remains. The brevity and futility of life with all its struggles hit Emily with sudden force.

The funeral procession was long. The ride to the cemetery seemed endless. As they inched along at a snail's pace, Emily stared out the window and tried to sort through the many conflicting emotions that surged through her. Through all the turmoil, one thought emerged. Her relationship with Dennis Morrison had reached an impasse. She must either marry him or put him out of her life completely. She didn't want to do either.

They turned off the highway and drove down a winding thoroughfare. Dennis had scarcely parked his station wagon and set his brake when Kevin opened Emily's door and leaned down. “Grandma wondered what happened to you."

Emily unfastened her seat belt. “Didn't Larry tell her I came with Dennis?"

"He mentioned it.” Kevin straightened and stepped aside. “Hurry, the grave side service is about to start."

Emily stepped from the car and leaned against the hood. “Tell Grandma I'll talk to her later."

By now Dennis was by Emily's side, peering down at her, concern and anxiety carved into every line of his handsome face. “Run along, Kevin. I'm sure your father and grandparents are waiting for you."

"They're waiting for you, too,” Kevin replied. He nodded his head in the direction of the open grave. “Let's go."

Emily wasn't up to explaining to Kevin why she couldn't come with him. “Go on. I'll be along soon."

Dennis intervened. “I don't think your dad wants your mother sitting with the immediate family. Maybe it's better if she and I keep our distance."

Kevin scowled. “Did Dad tell you that?” When no one answered, he demanded again, this time more loudly, “Did he?"

Emily thought that once again, Dennis was intruding where he had no right. She said, “We had a disagreement yesterday."

Kevin snorted. “So what's new? Let's go.” He took Emily's other arm. “Come on, Dennis. We're missing the grave side service."

Emily fell in step with Kevin. Once again she was taking the line of least resistance.

A canopy covered the open grave and the chairs that had been set out for the immediate family. Robert, Clara, George and Debra occupied the first row. Mike, Larry, and Stacy were seated immediately behind them. Every eye turned toward Dennis and Emily as they followed Kevin into the canopied shade and sat down.

Emily did her best to look at ease, but her nerves were like electric wires, snapping and sizzling with every movement she made. Afterward, she was never able to recall a word the minister said.

As the last benediction was completed, Emily lifted her eyes and stared directly into the scurrilous blue of Robert's condemning gaze. She stared him down.

None of this had escaped Dennis's notice. He helped Emily from her chair. “Let's get these formalities over. Then we can make a graceful exit and be gone."

Clara chided, as Emily came to her side. “Where have you been? We missed you.” She nodded to Dennis. “It was kind of you to come, Reverend."

George put his arm around Clara's shoulder. “It was thoughtful of you to send flowers, Reverend Morrison and the donation you made to the nursing home in Aunt Beth's memory was greatly appreciated.” Dennis did seem to have a knack for getting into other people's good graces.

Through the next fifteen minutes, Emily spoke to family members and friends, talking and nodding, and even smiling occasionally. Her speech must have been lucid and her answers correct, but her mind was a blank. It was almost as if she had set her brain on automatic pilot and retired somewhere deep inside herself. She gave Robert a wide berth, never looking in his direction and moving when he came too near.

Dennis seemed glued to Emily's side. For that she was doubly thankful. Any remark to be made, had to be said in his presence and Dennis was a formidable figure, fending off intrusive questions, rebuking with smooth ease unwanted remarks and in general smoothing the way for eventual escape.

At last they made their way to the periphery of the circle of mourners. Emily leaned on Dennis's arm. She could hardly believe her good fortune. She had escaped without having to speak to Robert. She quickened her pace.

From nowhere, Robert appeared to stand directly in front of her. “Are you leaving, Emily?” His fierce look said he was barely able to control his rage. “And you didn't even offer me your condolences."

Emily couldn't rid herself of the hot bubble of anger that singed through her. Robert's behavior was inexcusable. “I'm sorry about your aunt's demise,” she intoned coldly.

Dennis intervened. “We must be on our way.” His hand tightened around Emily's elbow. “You have my condolences, also, Mr. Franklin. May God comfort you. So many times we don't realize the extent of our losses until it's too late.” The words, framed as a consolation, were in reality, a taunt.