Love.com (35 page)

“I think she knows what kind of man you really are now, Ian,”
Stephanie concluded with a caustic laugh, seeing Emily’s look of dismay. “Did you really think he was so damned perfect, Emily? He’s just a man, for Christ’s sake! Did you really think he would turn me down and go for you? You really are a sick pathetic joke!”

“I think the two of you deserve each other,” Emily replied with a calm she was far from feeling. “I really don’t care
anymore.”

“Emily, don’t let her lies make you believe th
at,” Ian said as he glanced at her out the corner of his eye. “Where’s that faith you claimed to have?”

Stephanie
took that opportunity to move, surprising them both. She lunged away, running towards the lot, blocked in by cars now. She ran to the car she had parked near the exit. Ian gave pursuit, just as an unmarked vehicle with its lights on arrived. Emily was too shaken by what she heard to realize how close she came to being Stephanie’s next victim. Obviously, the girl desired to get away more than see her dead in those few seconds she held the gun trained on her.

Stephanie
was trapped in the vehicle by both the police detective and Ian. It was a stand-off which soon caused more police cars to arrive. The lot was cleared of bank customers. A uniformed cop ushered Emily to the side of the building with the other people as they tried to talk the woman into giving herself up.

Ian was forced to retreat
. He let the police deal with it by then. He stood with the detective while five police officers with weapons trained on the windshield held Stephanie from leaving. Emily watched as the car started up, knowing the girl had nothing to lose.

Stephanie surprised them
all by flooring the vehicle in reverse over the grassy bank separating the lot from the main road, peeling away from the uniformed officers. Cops were running to their vehicles to give chase. Emily watched as the four-door sedan went down the road at a high speed. She released her breath in relief none had been hurt today. Four cop cars gave chase. Ian was talking to the police detective, looking irate to see his money escaping with her.

Emily didn’t wait for Ian
as he concluded talking to the detective. She started walking, eyes unfocused as she moved away from the bank. She didn’t realize where she was until she looked up. She walked several blocks into the downtown area, close to the agency. She tried not to cry. The tears burned at the corners of her eyes. Knowing Ian hadn’t been who she thought he was all along came with no surprise. Knowing what he was willing to do to get what he wanted hurt unbearably. How could she have been so wrong about him? Was it any wonder? She still saw people as she wanted to.

She walked the rest of the way to the building, desolate to know whatever hope
s she had Ian ever cared about her was dashed the minute she discovered his bonus in regard to the ad campaign. That damning truth made every gesture of kindness from him suspect now. He played upon her feelings for him from day one to get what he wanted.

It was irrelevant now if he had been sleeping with Tabitha all along, as she claimed. She no longer cared to know the truth. The fact he never mentioned his bonus was telling. He allowed her to believe he resigned a year ago to keep his integrity and reputation intact, while all along he knew he would forfeit the money he was getting from Ambidor if he was terminated. She recalled the guilt she felt after the night they slept together, thinking she precipitated his resigning. He already knew he was going to be fired, she recalled with a heavy heart. He left her feeling responsible. She was angry to realize the honesty she assumed was his at the time was nonexistent. It was the money from the start. He ensured she delivered the means for him to get what he wanted all along. She was nothing more than his puppet from the very beginning.

He told her he came back to Sacr
amento for her, while the evidence now suggested it was his money all along, sitting in Evan’s safe deposit boxes. She didn’t know what to believe anymore. She felt like a fool all over again for believing Ian could truly care about her.

Emily walked to the building and rode the elevator up to the fourth floor
, feeling drained from the morning’s ordeal. She went straight to her office, telling Nadine to hold all of her calls.

She sat facing the city, her eyes dry and devoid of emotion. She didn’t know how long she sat there. She heard the door open behind her.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?” It was Ian, sounding angry.

“There wasn’t much point
in it,” Emily responded flatly, not turning to face him. “Did she get away?”

“They
’re sending a unit to every airport within fifty miles,” Ian said in disgust and sighed. “It looks like she got away for now.”

“Too bad
for you,” Emily said and shrugged. “Looks like she is going to live on your dime, after all.”

“Emily, don’t believe the lies she told you
back there,” Ian began as he strode forward, spinning her chair about to face him. “It wasn’t like what she said at all.”

“Tell me how it was, Ian,” Emily said coolly and flung his hands off the arms of her chair. “Tell me why I should believe a word you say? You pretended to be my friend all along
back then, and from day one, you had an agenda of your own! Your goddamn bonus! Was it worth being nice to the fat girl?” Emily laughed coldly, her eyes filling with angry tears. “You got what you wanted, didn’t you? And you left me here thinking I was to blame all this time for you quitting! All along it was just to get the money!”

Ian’s eyes looked troubled as they met hers. “Maybe it was the money in the beginning, but I swear to you everything I told you was the truth. I came back here to start over, Emily, with you. It wasn’t for any other reason.”

“I can think of three million reasons not to believe you right now, Ian.”

“Don’t let her lies poison you against me, Emily,” Ian told her gravely, his blue eyes dark with sadness. “I came back for you. I don’t care about the money!”

“I don’t know what to believe anymore!”

“If I just wanted the money I would have asked you for the keys the minute I got here,” he pointed out and shook his head. “That wasn’t my motivation to accept this job and come here at all.”

“Leave me alone, Ian,” Emily demanded and refused to look at him, determined to not fall for any more of his lies. “I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry Stephanie wiped you out, but again, I think karma played a big role here. Sounds like the bonus you worked so hard to get just went south.”

“You’re right,”
Ian allowed and his hands fell to his sides, his eyes filled with anger. “I deserve that.”

“We have to work together, but that’s it,” Emily said with a cold look in her eyes. “I don’t think I could ever trust your feelings
for me. You’re too good at pretending.”

“You would let her ruin what we could have with her lies?” Ian eyed her in disbelief. “Don’
t do this, Emily!”

“What we had was a product of my imagination and wishful thinking
all along, Ian. There is no ‘us’! There was never any ‘us’! I convinced myself of a lot of things that weren’t true back then. I can see that now.”

Ian said nothing as he stared at her, absorbing her words. He turned on his heel and left her office, slamming the door behind him.

Emily let out her breath and fought the pain that sliced at her heart in those moments that passed. She should have felt good to know Dr. Simon would approve her choice, her decision to let Ian Sawyer go once and for all. She felt nothing but hollow inside. For the first time since Eddie died, she felt in control of her own emotions. She was devastated to give up the one thing she wanted out of everything in order to do that.

With Ian, she would always feel this
painfully insecure, this less-than-perfect, and always question his feelings for her. Those basic truths were what made her decision to go no further with him; that, and knowing he had such a powerful hold over her from the first. Loving someone didn’t mean she had to give so much of herself up. With Ian, she would never have control over her emotions or be on equal footing with him.

It was for the best, she told herself. She glared at the wooden statue of Pinocchio
on her desk. She flung it to the floor, tears filling her eyes. Why did she feel like she just made the biggest mistake in her life?

~ ~ ~

Stephanie got away clean with Ian’s money. The police lost her trail at the interstate that day. The toxicology reports from Florida were out. They proved inconclusive in determining the old people were murdered. Ian was convinced of Stephanie’s guilt, regardless. Emily was just grateful she was gone. The police were still looking for a thief in the days that followed Stephanie’s escape; but not a murderer. They found no trace of her. The cops believed she headed to the border of Mexico. Ian sat on his hands as he let the police do their job for once. He took the news he was now broke with surprising good humor, much to her relief. She found herself questioning Ian’s motivation in coming back, wondering if he told her the truth from the start, hating herself for that spark of hope.

Wouldn’t Ian be chasing Stephanie
right now if he cared so much about the money? He had three million reasons to try and catch her. Instead, he stayed here, sending Emily pleading looks whenever he caught her eye at work, texting her non-stop, and sending flowers when all else failed.

Was it any wonder she was weakening? She hadn’t the strength to resist Ian. The hardest thing she ever did was ignore him now. Everything in her wanted to believe in what brought him back to her.

Kathy and her mother returned from their trip up the coast. She was listening to Leila happily chattering about all they saw when her mother stopped talking abruptly, gazing at her in concern.

“Ok,
Earth to my daughter,” her mother joked and frowned. “What happened since we left?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Emily said listlessly
. They stood at the sliding glass doors to the backyard. She watched Kathy playing with Willie. Her sister was determined to teach him some manners. “Tell me more about your trip.”

Leila gazed at her youngest daughter knowingly. “What’s going on
with you, Emily? You were never really good at hiding your feelings. I’m your mother, remember? Out with it! What happened while we were gone?”

For the first time in her life, Emily confided in her mother, telling her about
her misguided feelings for Ian Sawyer, uncaring whether her mother would blast her for her own stupidity for falling for such a man. Nobody needed to remind her that Ian was out of her league. She had a need to unburden herself finally. Joan was unavailable for girl-talk.

“So you’re just going to give up, is that right?” Her mother looked disgusted to hear it, her bright pink lips pursed in disapproval. “Don’t do it, honey. Don’t be like me. Maybe if I had fought for your father all those years ago, he wouldn’t have left me for Martha. I gave up on myself long before he left. I didn’t bother to try and get him back. I did the same thing you’re doing right now. I let him go! Don’t be like me, Emily. Fight for what you want. Don’t live with the regret you never tried.”

Emily looked at her mother in surprise. “I
always thought Dad left you for Martha.”

Leila sighed and watched her eldest daughter playing with the dog
in the backyard with a sad expression. “I think he just had the affair to see if I still cared. I pushed him away. Was it any wonder he turned to Martha? No, I’m to blame that your father left us. I could have fought for him, but I chose to let him go. I divorced him rather than take a chance.”

“This isn’t the same!” Emily refused to think her dilemma with
trusting Ian was remotely similar. “He lied to me from the start! He was just in it for the money!”

Leila chuckled and shook her head. “He
just did his job, as I can see it, Emily. His job was to get you to deliver the best ad possible. He did that. He couldn’t have known how you felt about him. Go easy on the poor guy. Give him a break. You know you want to. What do you have to lose? Take a chance for once.”

“How ca
n I ever believe he really cares about me?”

Leila smiled and shook her head, her eyes meeting her daughter’s with sadness lurking in their depths. “How could he not, Emily? Why can’t you see that? Did I do that to you? You deserve this. Go after it. Don’t let
anything stand in the way.”

Emily thought of that conversation while she worked out that evening, leaving Kathy and her mother to go to dinner alone. All the while she ran upon the treadmill, she thought of her mother’s words. Was she repeating history? Was she giving up at the first sign of trouble
? Was giving Ian the benefit of the doubt right now really so hard? She knew she wanted to. That was the reason she refrained. She didn’t trust her feelings anymore; having been so wrong all her life in regard to men. Eddie came to mind; the worst possible choice for her, if she was honest. That faith she claimed to have all this time; a total joke. She bailed because she was afraid to get hurt.

Ian kept his distance
the last few days. He gazed at her in pained silence, wanting to bridge the gap, but respectful of her desire to keep their relationship merely business now.