LOVED (11 page)

This was going to hurt.

“Doc?” the officer said as he approached the car.

I looked over my shoulder and up at the officer. As I did, he removed his glasses and shook his head.

“God damn, Doc. Where’s the fire? Jesus. I think I got you on the deceleration, and it was 131. That’s jail time. What in the fuck were you thinking?” he asked.

“Snake?
How’s that new Road King running?” I asked, referencing his newly purchased motorcycle.

“Don’t turn this into a biker romance thing, Doc. You could have killed someone,” h
e looked over my car from front to rear.

Snake was an officer in the police department, and had been so for about ten years. He never moved up the ranks from being a beat cop because every time he turned around he was involved in some form of questionable practices. He never got into trouble, per se, but he was always close.

He rode with the local chapter of the police officer’s motorcycle club. We were all friendly to one another, and although our club wasn’t particularly friendly with the police officers, they were always friendly to us. Most of them.

“What the fuck is this thing? Some kinda race car?” he asked as he raised one eyebrow.

“It’s an M3, Snake. Yeah, for the most part. Hell, I never drive like that,” I apologized.

Snake turned and looked around the parking lot. He placed his hands on each side of his hips and exhaled a slow breath as he shook his head.

“One hundred miles an hour over the speed limit, that’s not something that just happens, Doc,” he said, still shaking his head.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I
meant
to do it. It was planned. It’s just not
common
,” I said, still holding my license in my hand.

“Give me a good reason for you doing that. One,” he said
, both eyebrows now raised and focused on me.

I
set the license on the console of the car, opened the door and got out. He stepped away from the door, making a little distance between he and I.

I stood and looked him in the eye intently.

“There’s one and one only, and I truly apologize. But Snake, I am in love. Madly,” I said, smiling from ear to ear.

“You?
Give me something else, I know better,” he said.

“I’m serious,” I said, still smiling.

“Doc, you’re a whore. You’re in love with the entire female population,” he laughed.

“Not any more. I’m in love with Kelli Parks,” I said.

As I spoke, I shuffled my feet into a tap dance that would have rivaled anything ever produced by Sammy Davis, Jr. or Dean Martin.

He took a few steps back and watched my feet.

I stopped dancing and smiled.

“You’re serious?” he said.

I nodded.

“Son-of-a-bitch, Doc,” he exhaled and looked around the empty lot. He walked to his car and turned off the lights.

He opened the door and began talking into the radio microphone. He placed the microphone back into the center of the car, and shut the door.

“Being in love isn’t a reason to be a damned fool. Remember that. Hell, I’ve been married three times,” he said.

“Duly noted,” I said.

“So,
where’s this leave us?” I asked.

“Tell you what. I’m gonna let you go. Next time I see you with a woman, I’m going to ask her what her name is. If she says it’s Kelli, fine. If it’s anything but that, I’m going to write you a ticket for 131 miles an hour. You’ll lose your license for a few years.
How’s that?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, Snake,” I said.

“Aww hell. Just get out of here. What are you doing out so early anyway?” he asked.

As I opened the car door I turned and raised one eyebrow.

“I don’t want to know, never mind,” he said as he opened his door and got into the car.

As I pulled from the parking lot, I thought of the serious nature of my driving at such a speed in town. It was ridiculous. It was dangerous. It was illegal.

It was fun.

Slowly, I drove up the street to
Steve Wallace’s place. I pulled into the lot and parked. Pat met me at the door, holding it open.

“How’
s it going, Wally?” I asked.

“Shit, Erik. One day at a fucking time,” he responded as he let go of the door, making room for me to walk in.

“So, you bring the money?” he asked.

“Are you fucking serious?” I asked as I stopped and stared at him, my brow furrowed.

“Just asking, deals like this make me nervous,” he responded.

“Let’s see it,” I said.

He placed a large wooden box about six inches deep and the size of a magazine on the table in front of him. I opened the box and looked inside.

“T
his is it?” I asked as I looked up from the box and into his eyes.

He nodded.

“Fuck yes,” I muttered.

“One
forty?” I asked.

“One
forty-six, and not a penny less. You tight fisted prick. You’re always wanting a deal. You got one hundred forty six grand in that pocket of yours?”

“Nope, got it in the car.
I like round numbers, you sure one forty won’t get it done?”

“Quite,” he said as he slammed the lid closed.

“Don’t get all pissy, Wally. Be back in a second,” I said as I turned toward the door.

I pushed the button on the key fob releasing the trunk. I reached in and grabbed a small metal case intended to be used to transport handguns. I turned, stepped back to the door, and walked inside.

“
What the fuck
, Erik?” Wally asked as I walked inside, staring at the case.

“Oh, shit. No. It’s
money
. The money’s in here,” I said apologetically.

“Sorry, brother, I wasn’t thinking,” I continued.

“That shit makes me nervous,” he sighed.

I opened the box and handed it to him.
Wally had been in a gunfight with some gang members a few years back, and was shot several times in the chest. It took about a year in the hospital for him to recover to the point that he could get back to work. A good portion of it he was in a coma. Guns made him extremely nervous now.

“Count it?” I asked.

“Nope, you’re solid,” he said.

“Come back in a week,” he said as he carried the case to the back of the room.

I nodded, turned to the door and paused.

A week.

A week is a long time.

For some people.

It’s all perspective.

KELLI.
“It seemed for a while like we were growing apart. You know, as friends,” she said.

“I felt the same way,” I agreed.

“Well, it doesn’t feel like that anymore,” Heather said.

“Nope,” I smiled as I shook my head from side to side.

“I think I was jealous for a while. You and Teddy were making progress and Erik and I weren’t,” I admitted.

“Well, you’re all caught up
now
,” she said, waving her hand around, motioning to the room.

“I know. Oh my God, this shit is insane,” I said.

“Which one is it?” she asked.

“That one with that crazy bitch in it.
Christy Cross
. It’s so fucking funny, but I’m afraid I can’t finish it. It’s way too hot. I want Erik to fuck me so bad, and he’s gone till tonight,” I laughed as I crossed my legs and rolled over onto my stomach.

“You bed pig, move over,” Heather said as I got close to her.

“I’m reading
Kendall Grey, Strings
. Holy shit, that little bitch is crazy,” Heather said.

“Which one,” I laughed.

“Both. Oh my God, have you seen her status updates?” she asked.

“Kendall’s?
No,” I responded.

“She gets so mad. She’s funny. I can’t
fucking wait ‘till
Nocturnes
comes out,” she said.

“She hasn’t friended me, I asked twice,” I said.

Heather smiled. To Heather, having a friend like Kendall Grey was an accomplishment. I suppose all things considered, it was. I didn’t look at Facebook as anything but a way for me to look at the book blogs and receive book recommendations. I used my Kindle to have a way to escape reality. Since Erik and I were actively together, I was spending much less time reading.

“I got this
Christy Cross
book from
Dirty Hoes
blog, I won a contest,” I said.

“
Dirty Hoes
? Do you ever see
Snarky Bloggers
reviews?” Heather asked.

“You like her because her name’s Heather,” I laughed.

“No, I like her because she’s fucking funny,” she said.

“
Word Wenches
is the shit. They make awesome recommendations. And, uhhmm…
Book Bobbin,
”
I said as I turned the page.

“
Babblin’. You dork. It’s
Book Babblin’
. Bobbin. You little weirdo,” she laughed.

“Whatever.
Brit Nanny
, That
Miria Vanessa
from
Life Between Fiction
,
Kathi White
, and
Cara Ross
all said this book was good. And it is; it’s just
too much
. That scene with that guy deep throating that other guy. I about died,” I laughed.

“Spoiler alert,” she laughed as she rolled over onto her back, looking up at her Kindle.

“Oh my God, you still have that shirt?” I asked as she rolled over.

She smiled and rubbed her hands on her boobs. She was wearing her number eleven tee
shirt from high school volleyball. She looked at it as good luck.

“Yes, I still have this shirt, and don’t spoil the book, you tramp,” she said as she stared at her Kindle.

“Whatever, you already knew it. They were talking about it in that thread the other day. Remember, the guy blew cum all over his face then shoved his cock back down his throat while she was sucking off the guy and poking a dildo up his ass,” I said as I crossed my legs again.

“Oh. Fuck, yeah, I remember. Yeah, that book is insane from what they said. Gross,” she said as she rolled back to her stomach.

“It’s not gross, it’s hot,” I said.

“Different strokes,” she said, looking up from her Kindle.

Reading had always been a way for me to escape everything. I felt when I read, if the writing was good enough, that I was the character in the book. It was nice to find someone that wrote in a manner that would pull me into the book and make me forget for a few hours who I was and where I was in my life.

Kendall Grey was one of those people. She made me, even though her books were insane
ly funny, feel like I was elsewhere. She made me laugh, cry tears of hilarity, and play with myself. I rubbed my clit a few hundred times to Kendall’s books. Right now, I wanted to be rubbing it to
Christy Cross.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I said as I slid off the edge of the bed.

“Leave your Kindle here,” Heather laughed.

“
Uhhmm, no,” I giggled, clutching it to my chest.

“You’re sick,” she said, never r
aising her head up from her Kindle.

“It’s why Erik loves me, I’m sick,” I said.

I walked toward the master bathroom. Our new house was so nice. Having a bathroom in my bedroom was something I continually wanted as a kid. I had one down the hallway growing up, but had dreamed of having one in my
own bedroom
. Living here with Erik was beyond what my wildest dreams could ever conjure up.

“Teddy loves me because I’m beautiful,” she said as I stepped into the bathroom.

“That and because you have huge tits,” I snapped over my shoulder.

I stepped into the bathroom and shut the door.

I pulled down my pajamas and sat down. I flipped through the pages of the Kindle until I found a sex scene. As I read, I relaxed and relieved myself. I wiped and situated myself into the seat. As I read the scene, I paused, and looked up at the picture on the wall.

I couldn’t do it.

Masturbation had lost all excitement.

I stood up and flushed the toilet.

He was right.

I was ruined
.